The Apocalypse? You’re Soaking in It!

Title: “Justin Bieber: First Step 2 Forever”

Author: Justin Bieber

Rank: 49

Blurb: “Justin tells the story of his amazing journey from small-town schoolboy to global superstar.”

Review: “There’s no way to accurately convey the inherent absurdity in reading a memoir written by someone who is only 16 years old. I’m reminded of this Friedrich Nietzsche quote: ‘Gaze into the abyss, the abyss gazes also into you.'”

Customers Also Bought: “Justin Bieber 2011 12X12 Square Wall Calendar”, “Justin Bieber Silly Bandz 24-pack + Free Moonz & Starz Newest Tye Dye Necklace To Wear Your Justin Bieber Bandz On!!!”, “Justin Bieber: The Fever! (Paperback)”, “FAME: Justin Bieber”, “Justin Bieber (Get the Scoop)”, “Justin Bieber: The Unauthorized Biography”, “Justin Bieber Door Poster Print”, “Justin Bieber Life Size Cardboard Standup”, “Justin Bieber Singing Doll”, “I Love Justin Bieber – Lucite Keychain”, “Set of 8 Justin Bieber Pinback Buttons”, “The Justin Bieber Handbook – Everything you need to know about Justin Bieber”, “MRS. BIEBER Pinback Button”, “Justin Bieber Nintendo DSi Skin”, “Justin Bieber Purple Logo Necklace”, “Justin Bieber Bookmark”, “Justin Bieber Pink Rubber Watch”, “Hoda: How I Survived War Zones, Bad Hair, Cancer, and Kathie Lee”.

Footnote: David Cassidy is 60.

Justin Bieber: First Step 2 Forever [Amazon]

Buy or Die [Stinque@Amazon kickback link]


Sigh. Just another singer this Canada City Citizen has to apologize for.


Fucking teen stars. How do they work?

@ManchuCandidate: “Blame Canada! Blame Canada! With all their beady little eyes and flapping heads so full of lies!”

@Dodgerblue: When he slows down, he does.

Oh oh: Stillerz going up against Colt McCoy. My allegiance remains solidly with the ‘burgh, but I hope that young Texan fares better than Bernie Kosar Trent Dilfer Ty Ditmar Jake Delhomme Seneca Wallace Brady Quinn.

Heh – that was fun.

Why does he style his hair by shoving his head into a flushing toilet?

@Nabisco: U of T alum SFL will agree after she finishes playing soccer in the rain/mist/mud.

@Nabisco: Missed watching the Stillers beat young Colt. How did crazy Jeebus lover Tim Tebow do this week?

Very sad re: the paralyzed Rutgers player – don’t duck your head down!

@Dodgerblue: No mud because it was a turf field, but plenty of rain.

T minus one hour to Game 2 of the Giants and the Phillies.

Instead of the mildly clever remark I was planning, let’s just note the Not-MSNBC ad I carelessly invoked:

Do you have what it takes to be Justin Bieber’s girlfriend?

Try the Love Compatibility Calculator and find out!

The Management apologizes for its lack of editorial judgment. Mind Bleach will be available at the door.

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