Waist Not, Want Not

No, if it were really the temple of male self esteem then Old Navy would sell “Magnum” Condoms that are five inches shorter.

Welcome to the world of arbitrary sizing, men–women have been here for decades.

I took a tape measure to the male mannequins at Banana Republic a few years ago. The result: 27-inch waists. So, by the Banana’s calculations, a 30-inch waist lands you firmly in Bear territory.

@¡Andrew!: I took a tape measure to the male mannequins at Banana Republic a few years ago. The result:

Blank stares around the room.

@¡Andrew!: Banana Republic? You dear sweet thing. I see you in gunmetal grey, slightly shiny, with a very narrow leg.

I’m in the middle of losing 15lbs so I don’t want to hear it. I must be able to wear my one decent suit soon without too many bulging bits where I don’t want them.

This is why I would never buy trousers or a jacket by mail.

@Tony Blair Witch Project: Pretty much all of my “busyness casual(ty)” work clothes come from the BR & Perry Ellis outlet stores in Tulalip, WA. It’s me rifling through the piles with throngs of BC Canuckistan tourists crowing about their strong loonies. They absolutely do not sell the comfy pants, unfortunately, but the styles are simple enough that they look acceptable even though they’re cheap.

@nojo: Oh like you never get out a tape measure to compare!

@¡Andrew!: It’s me rifling through the piles with throngs

I so read that as you rifling through piles of thongs. Lucky Mr. ¡A!

@flippin eck: The throngs wear thongs in the thummer.

@Dodgerblue: Thankth for the PTSthD Thpike flathhback.

@flippin eck: Do Canuckistanis even wear thongs? That just seems so improper. And cold. Surely Victoria’s Secret only sells the All-Flannel line around here.

@Dodgerblue:
there should be a test like at the amusement park.
“you have to be this big to ride this ride”
“you have to be this hot to wear a thong”

this is hilarious

LOL: No One Likes M Night Shyamalan

I have been known to mow the grass while wearing a thong. There’s an image you can carry to your grave. You’re welcome.

@Tony Blair Witch Project:

I have been in the middle of losing 15 pounds for about a decade.

Doesn’t cutting grass in a thong make you itch in places that you do not want the itchiness? I’m itching thinking about it.

@Tommmcatt Cannot Be Arsed To Think About Sharon Angle: A thong and boots.

You know how to lose that weight? Cut out meat, fat, cheese, oil, white bread, white rice, booze, ice cream, all deserts. Eat fresh veg and fruit. Easy.

@Tony Blair Witch Project: “This is why I would never buy trousers or a jacket by mail.”

I had that discussion with Mrs RML just the other day. Gotta try that stuff on. Shoes and boots, too.

@Tommmcatt Cannot Be Arsed To Think About Sharon Angle: I’m 2/3 of the way to losing 15 lbs since Christmas.

Getting a wisdom tooth out tomorrow morning so I’m taking the rest of the day off. Been to the library already, may hit the video store on the way home, or I can just watch Mad Men all day long. Maybe I’ll load up a few rounds of rifle ammo if I don’t feel too bad.

@flippin eck:
how about ruffling my piles with thongs.

euuu

I grossed myself out.

@Tony Blair Witch Project: I gave up cookies, crackers, chips, cake, bread, Snickers, ice cream etc and am down 9 pounds in 3 weeks. I will not give up booze.

@redmanlaw: I just learned that I’m maxed out on vacation time available. I won’t be for long.

@Dodgerblue: If your 4:28 comment is not the tweet tomorrow, there is no justice in the world.

@flippin eck: Law professors all know this riff to use when students bitch about unfair results: “Look at the wall outside. It says School of Law, not School of Justice.”