Our Short National Nightmare is Over. Again. At Least, This Week.

(Editor’s note: As of 8:30 p.m. ET, with six updates and two mini-updates, just about every reported fact has been undermined. We believe this merits some kind of award.)

Can we get back to conventional bigotry now?

The leader of a small Florida church that espouses anti-Islam philosophy says he is canceling plans to burn copies of the Quran on Sept. 11.

Great! But wait!

Pastor Terry Jones said Thursday that he decided to cancel his protest because the leader of a planned Islamic Center near ground zero has agreed to move its controversial location.

Ummm… We haven’t heard that one yet. Ruh-roh.

Fla. minister cancels burning of Qurans on 9/11 [AP/Atlanta Journal-Constitution]

WTF Update:

Florida Rev. Terry Jones said he is cancelling the planned burning of the Quran and instead flying to New York on Saturday to meet with Imam Feisal Abdul Rauf, the man behind the planned New York mosque.

“We have agreed to cancel our event on Saturday and on Saturday I have agreed to meet with the Imam,” Jones said Thursday.

And then USA Today picks up the AP report about Jones saying the Not Mosque is being moved. Which nobody else is touching.

Pastor says he won’t burn Qurans [USA Today]

WTF Update #2:

Miami, Hello!

Jones said on CNN Thursday afternoon that instead of burning copies of the Quran on Saturday, he will fly to New York City to meet with Muslim leaders who had hoped to build a mosque near the site of Ground Zero.

“If they were willing to move that we would consider that a sign from God,” Jones said.

So, it looks like we’re dealing with a conditional: If they were willing. But for now, it looks like Jones is being whisked out of state for a Manhattan chitchat, with no preconditions.

At least until the next WTF Update.

Koran burning in Gainesville this Saturday canceled by pastor [Miami Herald]

WTF Update #3:

Okay, we give up:

The fiery pastor said that Imam Abdel Rauf, the leader behind the Ground Zero mosque in Manhattan, will meet with him in New York on Saturday.

“He has agreed to move it,” Jones said referring to the Ground Zero Islamic cultural center and mosque. “And we have agreed to cancel our event on Saturday.”

There. A direct quote from Jones about the not-mosque being moved. Now we wait for him to realize that it isn’t. Unless it is. We need a smoke.

Pastor Terry Jones Calls off Koran Burning, Ground Zero Mosque May Be Moved [ABC]

WTF Update #4:

Straight from the Not Mosque Twitter Feed:

Official: It is untrue that Park51 is being moved. The project is moving ahead as planned. What is being reported in the media is false.

Back to Terry Jones for WTF Update #5, we’re sure…

WTF Update #5:

So, where did Terry Jones get the idea that the Not Mosque is being moved? Well, besides the fact that Terry Jones is batshit crazy?

The Rev. Terry Jones announced his decision Thursday afternoon, standing outside his small church alongside Imam Muhammad Musri, the president of the Islamic Society of Central Florida…

“I told the pastor that I personally believe the mosque should not be there, and I will do everything in my power to make sure it is moved,” Musri said. “But there is not any offer from there (New York) that it will be moved. All we have agreed to is a meeting, and I think we would all like to see a peaceful resolution.”

Ah: Florida imam tells Jones he too would like to move the Not Mosque, and by the Transitive Property of Imams, Jones apparently presumed that Florida Imam was speaking for Manhattan Imam.

Which he wasn’t.

Which means we may yet see WTF Update #6.

Fla. minister cancels burning of Qurans on 9/11 [AP/Yahoo]

WTF Update #6:

What? Thought we were done? Hell to the no!

CNN reported, however, that [NY Imam] Rauf said in a statement that he had not spoken to Mr. Jones or Mr. Musri. “I am glad that Pastor Jones has decided not to burn any Korans,” Mr. Rauf said. “However, I have not spoken to Pastor Jones or Imam Musri. I am surprised by their announcement. We are not going to toy with our religion or any other, nor are we going to barter. We are here to extend our hands and build peace and harmony.”

So, that big meeting on Saturday? Nobody told the not-mosque imam they were meeting him.

Video and Latest Updates on Koran Burning Cancellation [NYT]

Mini-WTF Update from TPM: “Musri had told CNN he spoke to Rauf’s wife, Daisy Khan.”

Mini-WTF Update Update: ThinkProgress reporter speaks to Daisy Kahn, tells Keith Olbermann that she did talk to the Florida imam, but proposed a meeting sometime in the future. No date set; certainly not Saturday.


That Florida guy is a wuss. You announce something that crazy, you need to go through with it.


Apparently somebody informed him that being a “martyr” involves some pretty rough shit happening. He thought it was just about doing retarded crap and getting press…

@Dodgerblue: He may yet. Something about the (updated) story isn’t making sense.

(Yeah, like anything else about it has.)

Can’t he just burn some fags and be done with it?

the deal can not be confirmed it seems. by anyone. I was wondering if it was BS so he could later say we are doing it anyway.

@TBWP: Isnt that what they do on Fire island?

Emily Litella to the power of googleplex.

never mind.

@Capt Howdy: Per WTF Update #2, I’m thinking the AP misunderstood Jones’ comment at a televised press conference. He is meeting with the not-mosque imam on Saturday, and calling off the roast, but it’s not because the not-mosque is being moved. Jones just said it would be nice if it was.

@nojo: Oh, fuck it. WTF Update #3 in a moment…

it would be nice if golden eggs popped out of my ass every time I sneezed.

Our story thus far: Yes, Jones called off the Koran Roast, and says he’s meeting with the Not Mosque imam on Saturday. But he also said the Not Mosque is being moved. Which the Not Mosque developer denies.

Curiously, the Not Mosque developer doesn’t yet mention the Saturday meeting. Story implosion to follow in 15-20 minutes.

I think we ought to announce the Official Stinque.com Take a Shit on a Crucifix Day and retire on the proceeds from the T-shirt sales. It’s incredible this guy is even being looked at much less being asked about the Islamic center in Manhattan.

NYT is not believing the “agreement” story, FWIW:


I agree he’s just a coward who got the attention he wanted. Like WBC, who don’t even show up for their own protests half the time.

From TPM:

I remember that time the President and Secretary of Defense had to intervene to prevent a fringe pastor in Florida from dragging the United States into a global religious war. Those were strange days. –David Kurtz

My god, where is Sully Sullenburger when you need him? Anything to get this moran out of the news cycle!

@finette: No agreement, per Not Mosque tweet thirty minutes ago. But Jones apparently thinks there is an agreement, having misunderstood what a Florida imam told him. This story ain’t over till it’s over.

(Nice to see Yogi Berra on Colbert last night.)

Posted on their Twitter, @Park51:

“Official: It is untrue that Park51 is being moved. The project is moving ahead as planned. What is being reported in the media is false.”

@Capt Howdy: Don’t sweat it. All those updates are a blur to me, too.

Okay, I’m heading out for groceries. If Jones calls off the calling off in the next 45 minutes, you’re on your own.

@nojo: I think the Repubs are spinning this to attack the liberal media for giving this nut so much coverage.

A friend on FB posted that the real problem is the people who want to kill others over what happens to a book. Agreed, but the gulf between understanding that particular problem and solving it is pretty goddamn monumental.

I’m just waiting for Sarah Palin to take credit for this somehow.

For the (retarded) children. Such as.

@TJ/ Jamie Sommers /TJ: Hey, is Sarah’s bitch John McCain going to win in November?

@nojo: Okay, I’m heading out for groceries Clearly we are not at the Huffington Post.

And we’re back with WTF Update #6: Nobody told the not-mosque imam they were meeting him on Saturday.

And the Circus Remains Unbroken.

@IanJ: Are you sitting down? Sarah Palin agrees with your friend.

If you’re just joining us…

1. Whackjob Florida Pastor calls off Koran Roast, says he’s meeting with not-mosque imam on Saturday.

2. Whackjob Florida Pastor also says not-mosque is being moved, which is why he’s calling off the roast.

3. Florida imam, who met with Whackjob Florida Pastor and will be traveling with him to Manhattan, says he also opposes the not-mosque location, but didn’t speak for the not-mosque imam.

4. Not-mosque developer says not-mosque isn’t being moved.

5. Not-mosque imam says nobody told him they were meeting him on Saturday.

So, I’d like to announce that I’m flying to Alaska on Saturday to meet with Sarah Palin and Glenn Beck, now that they’ve agreed to call off their 9/11 shillfest. Peace is at hand.

@Tony Blair Witch Project: Seriously, the Huffington Post is not as well staffed.

Nojo, Can we start a Shove a Crucifix Up Pastor Jone’s Ass campaign?

TPM: “Musri had told CNN he spoke to Rauf’s wife, Daisy Khan.”

Are they using Sarah Palin’s staff? Because this is sounding exactly like last year’s non-appearance announcements.

@FlyingChainSaw: That’s Jesus’ General’s turf. He already has an ongoing conversation with the militia dude who backed out of providing muscle for the roast.

@nojo: I’m actually kind of annoyed by my friend’s update, and decided that getting into it with him on FB is probably not a useful diversion. Of course the real problem is that people are willing to kill each other over dead trees. That’s not a useful observation. It’s not helpful in the slightest. The reason we’re upset with Pastor Dorkstache in Florida is because he’s poking at the hornet’s nest, but he’s doing it in such a way as to bring the hornets out upon people other than himself. Angry, unreasonable people are not news. Dipshits inflaming them to others’ detriment is news, and is either clueless, or selfish, or some delightful melange of both.

Keef: Whackjob Florida (Assistant) Pastor now sez roast not “canceled”, but “suspended”.

Keef Plus: Whackjob Florida Pastor sez “Back to Square One.”

Honestly, it never moved from Square One.

it looks like Terry is crazy like a fox. it appears it was a pr ploy.
what has he accomplished? he has successfully and forever equated, in the minds of the zombie electorate, his vile desecration with the Cordoba Center.

congratulations Terry.

@Capt Howdy: Why that’s just fair and balanced news telling, then!

@Capt Howdy: I hate to say it (and I’d have to double-check the timeline to confirm), but I’m afraid that Petraeus elevated the story from blogfill to international headlines. It’s not like the Usual Suspects were lining up to back this one.

ThinkProgress reporter on Keef: Mrs. Not-Mosque Imam did talk to Florida Imam, but didn’t agree on a set date for a meeting. Certainly not Saturday.

I’m only surprised this all didn’t blow up over Prince of Persia.

but how brilliant is it to make up a story about how the thing will not be done because of an agreement that he made up and now, presto, everyone in amerika sees the two in completely equal terms.
trust me. from this point on, one will never be discussed without the other.

I am not even saying he did it on purpose. only that he did it.

@Capt Howdy: The ThinkProgress reporter who spoke to Mrs. Imam (and then to Keef) suspects that Jones — who had never tied the Roast to the Not Mosque — reached for the excuse at the last moment today to justify standing down. After Gates talked to him.

I think this presumes too much rational thought. Jones is simply batshit crazy. And he doesn’t even have a supernatural dog to distract attention.

of course he did. it was a brilliant excuse. thats the point isnt it?

is not the not mosque and the bonfire linked forever in media?

and I dont credit him with strategrie. just dumb luck more likely.

how do you know he doesnt have a supernatural dog?


There’s a good idea – who’s up for a fundraiser to send Pastor H8r’s show on the road to Saudi Arabia? Jeebus will protect him, right? ;)

@nojo: I dunno. The guy goes for the apocalyptically vulgar, he has got to mean it, not fuck around with it for PR effect. As curators and innovators of the apocalyptically vulgar, Stinque.com has to take a stand on Pastor Jones somehow.

@FlyingChainSaw: We can each take a turn standing on him while the rest flock around and hold our elbows for balance while we take a shit on him.

That would work.

Quoting Capt. Howdy: “how do you know he doesn’t have a supernatural dog?”

It’s a fair question.

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