Night of the Living Dog

Day 3. We’re starting to grow suspicious of Sheryll. As we were falling asleep, she was gently licking our mouth. But when we briefly opened our eyes, she had transformed into a hideous Salt Monster. We blinked — and she was a cute little dog again.

Our friends on the Night Crew at Target tell us we need to cut back on the Red Bull. But we can’t. Justin Bieber needs us.

And then, back in the attic, we thought, What if Sheryll isn’t what she appears to be? “Never you mind,” we heard. We snapped our head — and there was Sheryll with a bloody sock in her mouth.

That settled it. We’re switching to Snapple.



Good morning. :-)

I think we’ve found Bristol’s partner for DWTS (as noje calls it).

However, Thpiker theriouthly needth a danthe belt. I mean, you can hardly take your eyes off the three piece set threatening to break free. Oh, and the ‘shake that moneymaker’ moves are creating feelings of exthreme anxthiety here in God’s country. Sheryll proves once again to be the stable partner in this relationship. I’m hoping we’re not going to have to stage a rescue mission to get her out of northern Minnesota.

I’m in the middle of booking a trip to Copenhagen and Iceland. Woo hoo!!! I am the most awesome person I know!!

@Benedick: Would you be fitting him yourself?

Enjoy the kæstur hákarl!

Need moar William “She Bangs” Hung.

If he really wants to go viral he is going to have to pour gravy over his gonads and get the dog involved.

@FlyingChainSaw: I think it’s going to take something much more appetizing than gravy to get anyone near his nuts.

Seriously. First we get days and days and days of earworm, and now we get days and days and days of teeny drawers worm. Not cool, Nojo. Not cool.

@ManchuCandidate: YES! Anyone but McCain, Shrub, Palin, Wallace, Rand Spike. I’d even go for some CosPlay, this is so fucking awful.

This makes me laugh like a fool. I am that shallow.

@JNOV: It’s a dog. Anything with gravy on it is dessert to a dog. Shredded cardboard. Rocks.

stop this
right now. just stop it.

stop it
stop it
stop it

I always have to watch and I cant take another chubby crotch shot.

It’s just disturbing. Occasionally, I’ll get a link from a contemporary to a guy playing a DreamTheatre retrospective on a tenor trombone or something, goofy, yes, but often engaging at least in the competence of the performer, and sometimes surprising in insights to the literature an out-of-ensemble interpretation the instrumentation and the player proffer. This is just sad, guy’s ‘tarded, really disturbed.

I say we take up a collection, a fan letter, a jar of gravy and a script for a new episode starring Sheryll.

@FlyingChainSaw: I’d rather stage an intervention for Sheryll as Benedick suggests.

its intervention time. does he have no one who loves him?

See Sherryl sit. Sit, Sherryl, sit! See Sherryl go viral.

@FlyingChainSaw: Look, even dogs who eat their own poo and emesis won’t go near this guys ‘nads. Trust.

@karen marie: I totally blame you for this spate of “working on my fitness….join my dance crew” business.

@Benedick: Enabler

@Capt Howdy: An intervention for Nojo? I’m down with that. I say we just call whoever sends the intertubes to Men-ah-soda and cancel Spike’s account. Or maybe NOJO COULD STOP POSTING THIS DUDE UNTIL HE PUTS ON SOME FUCKING CLOTHES. (Both Nojo and Spike.)

Talk about inhumane treatment of animals.

@JNOV: It’s either this or we have to talk about the $400M already pledged to the Republicans by the far right. And I don’t think I’m strong enough for that. Besides, Thpike is living his dream. And that, as I’m sure you’re aware, is the American Way. To my mind he is a paradigm of public discourse in these late days of the American empire.

@JNOV: You would perhaps prefer this:
Middle School Segregates Class Elections by Race?
Why yes, it is in Mississippi. The saddest part? It came to light not because of outrage, but because a woman called up to find out where her Native American mixed race child would fit. The answer? “Go by the mother’s race b/c with minorities the father isn’t generally in the home.”

Happy now? Ol’ Spike and Sheryl aren’t the worst things in the world. (Although I never watch videos here unless they have kittehs or puppehs in them being cute. Maru 4-EVER!!!)

@Benedick: Or we could talk about the Kochs…

@Mistress Cynica: Already been yapping on the comments at The Evil Empire. None have been promoted yet. WTF is that all about?

@Mistress Cynica:

I’m sure the school administrators are just angling for their 15 minutes on Faux News. From their comments in the article, it appears they’ll be rolling with the “OMG LIBRALS MADE US DO IT” angle, which traditionally sells well to teatards.

The Dollar Redesign Project

the Obama one dollar bill?
the Marilyn 50?
the Maya Angelou 100?

better yet, the Ken Mehlman three dollar bill.

@Mistress Cynica: I know what you mean about videos but you really owe it to yourself to watch this. I had no idea that dancing was a vertical Sport till Thpike.

@JNOV: I don’t do Koch.



No student in the Nettleton School District shall, on the grounds of race, color, religion, national origin, sex, age, or disability be excluded from participation in, or denied the benefits of, or subjected to discrimination under any educational program or activity sponsored by the District.

@Benedick: Heh. I’m sure their wives don’t want to, either.

@Benedick: I tried to watch these, as you all found them so funny. After about 45 seconds I have to turn them off because they’re just so excruciating and pathetic. Even the manual strobe light didn’t do it for me.

@Capt Howdy: The “Relative Value” set just reminds me how infuriating it is that the government is voluntarily redesigning all the bills and yet not making them ADA-compliant.

@Mistress Cynica:
they really are hilarious and pathetic. if it is not a joke the kid has to be sort of challenged. no?

@JNOV: “WTF is that about.”
They are now, dearie.

@JNOV: I accept full blame. According to my mother, everything is my fault.

@karen marie: I knew we were separated at birth! Please, no — I am not tha momma! I still blame you, though. ;-P

@JNOV: And one of the commenters found Nettleton’s homecoming princess/queen policy in the school handbook – one black girl and one white girl to be nominated from each homeroom.

Explain again why the Union fought to keep Mississippi?

@Mistress Cynica: I’m with you. They just make me very, very sad, and I’m not sure how a chubby homeschooled gay kid dancing in his underwear is supposed to make me feel better than news of racist fucktard teabaggers.

You know what does make me feel better though? Particularly delectable pics of Jon Hamm.

@Mistress Cynica: You gotta watch for Sheryl around 1:43. She walks in on him, sees what’s going on, then quickly backs out of the room.

@flippin eck: I’m more of a Slattery girl, m’self. It’s the Irish thing, I think. I can’t seem to shake it.

@SanFranLefty: STABBY!

(nap time before I break stuff)

Oh, and I’ll send that along to the local ACLU as well…

@flippin eck: Ooooh, Jon Hamm! Pretty pretty!! [claps hands] And the actor who plays Roger Sterling looks good. (I have a crush on him, too). But no Christina?

@TJ/ Jamie Sommers /TJ: @SanFranLefty: He doesn’t do it for me, but he is a pretty dashing Silver Fox.

@flippin eck: Indeed. Talia Balsam has excellent taste in husbands.

@TJ/ Jamie Sommers /TJ: Damn. I knew Roger and Mona were married offscreen, but did not know she’d bagged Clooney prior to that.

@flippin eck: Pictures of Jon Hamm make everything better. Thanks, darling.

@TJ/ Jamie Sommers /TJ: He’s attractive, but I can’t stop thinking of him as SATC Carrie’s politician boyfriend who was into golden showers.

@mellbell: Girlfriend needs to write a how-to book.

@JNOV: Yeah, two jars of fucking gravy! LUNCH, FLUFFY! LUNCH!

@FlyingChainSaw: He looks more like a Skippy kinda guy to me…

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