The Irony Meter Just Pegged

I’ll answer “shrew”, Gene.

Am I the only one that thinks the ideal response would be to run an Evangelical version of this, targeted at gay adolescents? It would be worth the printing costs just to see people like Geller fume.

nojo: “Shrew.” [Light applause.]

Perfectly reasonable response. Let’s see where that gets you — nowhere, usually, with that word, I guess. But this is different. You have one out of six from the last round, so we first go to Brett Somers….

[anyone who wants to play Brett, go ahead — would respectfully suggest that someone with a case of the gay play Charles Nelson Reilly, just to keep things light, tight and right]

@chicago bureau: I was about to answer “creep”, but I could barely get out the first consonant before your producer drew his finger across his neck.

@nojo: That would have drawn the old censor whistle, tis true.

Off-topic, I’m desperate to crack a line about Illya Kuryakin, but remarks have been embargoed for two days following broadcast.

@chicago bureau: @nojo: Okay, I give up. I racked my brain trying to figure out what game show you’re referencing but I’ve doodled a complete blank.

Also: This post surprising ended up with a comment thread about who was the worst mass murdering dictator.

@TJ/ Jamie Sommers /TJ: That would be The Match Game with your host Gene Rayburn. It scares me that I remember this kind of information but I can’t remember names and faces to save my life.

@Dave H: I know what you mean. I’m no good at names and faces at all. I went to a conference a couple of weeks ago and saw a bunch of people I used to work with. They remembered me and came up to say hello but I couldn’t recall who the hell most of them were. I always feel like shit when that happens because someone took the time to mentally file my sorry ass away but my brain apparently couldn’t be bothered because I need to remember who starred in “Simon & Simon”. WTF?

@TJ/ Jamie Sommers /TJ: I decided some time ago to go with absolute honesty in those situations. I just say, “I’m sorry, but I’m way too self-absorbed to remember names. You are?”

@TJ/ Jamie Sommers /TJ: Same here. I can remember cigarette ad slogans from the 50s (“LSMFT” — anyone else remember what that stood for?) but can’t remember somebody I met last month.

@nojo: Illya Kuryakin — loved McCallum in Man From UNCLE and am a big fan in NCIS.

@TJ/ Jamie Sommers /TJ: When the federal office I worked at in Louisville closed in 1994 I managed to escape with hundreds of photos of my “friends”/coworkers. Now when I look at them the faces are of complete strangers. I worked with some of those people for 15 or 20 years and they are total blanks to me. Let me hear three or four notes of the theme song to “Hogan’s Heroes” and I can name and describe every character. Obviously we’re both terribly shallow people.

@Dodgerblue: Lucky Strike Means Fine Tobacco.

What’s even worse is I remember part of their jingle:
“Lucky separates the men from the boys,
but not from the girls.
Mister, you’ll like
Lucky Strike!”

I didn’t have to look any of it up, either. GAAAAH!!

@Dave H: Correct!!

And now this: “You’ll wonder where the yellow went / when you . . . . “

@Dave H: Show us your Larks!

Double-play: I remember the commercial and the Carlin gag.

@Dodgerblue: Apparently McCallum also brings out strange behaviors in little—

No. The Embargo remains in effect until Tuesday night. I will not reference it.

@nojo: I wish I knew what you’re talking about. I’ll be in Kansas City tomorrow night. Will the lifting of the Embargo be visible from there?

@Dodgerblue: I’m Not-Discussing a certain basic-cable series that’s popular among Stinquers who don’t watch it the night it’s originally broadcast, thus requiring me to stifle myself like I’m holding back the best shit you’ve ever had in your life.

I see. Well, y’know, everything’s up to date in Kansas City.

@nojo:
why are you torturing me about Illya? i have often mentioned he is not only the man from UnitededNetworkCommandforLawEnforment, he is the man who informed this little girl she was straight.
that’s who! i’m still in love with him. what? WHAT???

@Dodgerblue: @Dave H: @TJ/ Jamie Sommers /TJ:
oh god help us all. remember THIS one?

(very catchy tune)
smile a little frown a little,
give a little grin
every time you use your face
dry skin lines set innnnnn…..
you need new noxema
dry skin conditioner!

and the world just hasn’t been right since we lost Charles Nelson Rielly.

@Mistress Cynica:
i’m so using that.

@baked: he is the man who informed this little girl she was straight.

Spoiler alert!

@baked: My wife still carries a torch for Illya.

@Dave H: Meh. People die, but “Hollywood Squares” is forever.

@nojo:
he has teh ghey? do i care?

@Dodgerblue:
i married the first blonde who asked me. no, really.
he had the gay too!

@baked: Meh. Blondes all look the same. It’s the morenas who are interesting.

@baked: he has teh ghey?

No. At least, that’s not the excruciatingly delicious plot point you just revealed.

@nojo: Gibbs is his son.

@baked: No but he has got a glass eye.

@Benedick:
oh mum, what could it be for noj to carry on this way?
you’ve had lunch with David, were in a play with him or something?
tell me ALL about him! nojo is a stinker.

@baked: I was in a play with him. We spent many nights together. He’s got a glass eye. And very beautiful children, at that time. He used to get cross when I cracked myself up. I kept telling him I’m just that funny but he wasn’t buying it. Very bright and extremely well-read. Very good cook. Speaks 14 languages, has his own vineyard and represents Scotland at chess.

What this basic cable thingy could be is beyond me though it seems to have got our dear noje all bonered up. The only thing I watch is Tosh.

@Benedick:
you totally had me all the way up to to 14 languages. but thank you for giving me the rest of my fantasy! i’m one degree from illya now!!

tosh is growing on me, i need an intervention: i’m looking high and low for Mad Men, on cynica’s command, and need directions. anyone?
vid store no have.

@baked: Granted we’re comparing weekly to daily, but Tosh has a significantly larger audience than Jon & Stephen.

And he’s a vast improvement over Mencia.

@nojo:
i’m not surprised at that at all…tosh is the bullseye for that coveted 18-24 demo, and jon and stephen aren’t.

i HATED mencia, that unfunny schreeching racist!

@nojo:

The jokey kid in my middle school had a more nuanced and erudite sense of humor than Mencia.

@nojo: @baked: He makes me laugh. I had no idea his audience was that big. I thought I was being all outsidery and like cool, dude.

@baked: And yet he’s — wait for it — 35.

Thirty-fucking-five.

Suck on that, Coveted Youth Demo.

@Benedick:
we love that about you, you have a sophmoric side, all here do.
we’re outsidery though…for our age!

and judge judy is on in 4 minutes, lets bring our tea in the tv room, mom.

@nojo:
as long as he looks and acts 14, all is well in the universe.

@baked: He’s definitely threaded the needle. I thought Cheap Clip Show when I first saw the promos, and I was pleasantly surprised.

It’s still a Cheap Clip Show. But a Good Cheap Clip Show.

@nojo: And I appreciate it. I’m counting the minutes until I can go home and watch this week’s Mad Men.

@nojo: His real stand-up is terrific. Chris Rock good. Plus he’s cute (Which is totally not why noje is watching him).

@nojo:
and it will run forever. there will never be a shortage of goofy clips and goofier goofs who want to watch. even old goofs like us. watch for new tosh’s to come along. remember craig claiborn?
like judge judy, she’ll die on that bench. she makes 25 million a year to scream at idiots. what a gig! shhh…it started!

@Benedick: I think I’ve only seen the old special Comedy Central keeps repeating, and while I wouldn’t (yet) compare him to Chris Rock, he’s definitely not slacking. Tosh gets a lot of mileage out of being the Preacher’s Naughty Son.

@baked: A show like that is all about packaging and presentation — and a host who can deliver the lines. It could easily have been gawdawful, but they figured out how to make it work.

Comparison: David Spade’s show. That was gawdawful.

@nojo: Well Chris Rock is pretty awesome. DT it’s true does a different thing. I got a recent dvd on netflix streaming. I daresay it’s on Vimeo.

Somebody make sure baked didn’t fall asleep and spill her tea I just had that chair re-uphostered. You’d think she’d have a little respect but no.

@Benedick:

I always like blowing guys who had a sense of humor. Sexy.

@Mistress Cynica:

You get away with saying things like that, dear. It’s the southern gentility.

@Tommmcatt Cannot Be Arsed To Think About Sharon Angle: People think it’s a joke! Isn’t that adorable?