Someone Could Use Some American Swearing Lessons

Beats spending time in a re-education camp.

I’m guessing the members of:
Chicago Cubs
Toronto Maple Loafs
Pittsburgh Pirates
and other perennial losers are happy they aren’t North Korean.

To be fair, it doesn’t take much to be happy you aren’t North Korean.

@ManchuCandidate: Hey, hey, now. The Pirates would love to be North Koreans if it meant at least a sip of ginseng in the Majors.

@Nabisco:
And the GM (Kim Jong Il) would make smarter decisions.

I kid… I kid. Sort of.

I don’t know what the Pirates did in a past life to deserve that kind of futility.

Honestly, I can’t take North Korea seriously anymore – Team America is stuck in my head… :)

@Manchu: heh. Um , this?

@Nabisco: No worse than this or this

They failed to follow the eight-fold path of Paul.

@Jamie: true that, plus they won in those awful 70s unis. I think the current woes of Triple A Pittsburgh is a result of letting Bonds go before he discovered ‘roids. If they signed him for base salary now, the curse would be broken.

/dreaming/

@Nabisco: ::sigh:: There’s a reason they call it “Pitt.” :-P

@JNOV: Have they buried the Lidge yet in Philly?

@Nabisco: Wait? What? ::Googling:: You’d better hope I like what I find…

@Nabisco: OH! That’s pretty fucked up, there, Nabeesko!

Bum knee, fucked up elbow and some ole Jeebus shit thrown in for good measure? You KNOW pitchers take it hard. Shame, Beesko. Shame.

I once wrote an email to the marketing/PR department of the XFL that they needed a much more potent posture for the teams and a more savage level of game play. First, I recommended they rename the teams after things with real diabolical flare like The Plague and The Damned and that the misconduct rules be dismissed and replaced with a 5-10 second time-out rule for substituting new players for the dead or critically injured unable to even crawl, grasp and bite. Finally, I recommended that players never be named and known only by the numbers on their jerseys, helping to build cults of mystique around nameless, numbered monsters. Predictably, they ignored my advice and went out of business in one season.

@FlyingChainSaw: Ahem.

@JNOV: What? It’s all about the Exceptional Health, I tell you!

@FlyingChainSaw: Well, how did the Ginger rumor start? That’s what inquiring minds really want to know. I mean, I do have red streaks…

@JNOV: Elizabeth Kucinich kept stalking me, apparently trying to recruit me as a speech writer for her husband. Way embarrassing but I kept my diplomatic cool, you know, as an official ambassador from Stinque.com.

@FlyingChainSaw: Uh, Dennis Kucinich seems to have a nice personality…

ADD: She’s a little on the ani side, there, FCS. I thought you were into Exceptional Health(!)

@JNOV: I am which is why I thought it would be Exceptionally provocative for Elizabeth and Michelle to tour in support of Obama’s candidacy and appear for media availability sessions highlighted by long, impassioned make-out sessions.

@FlyingChainSaw:
oh fuck that. lets bring back the colosseum! gladiators, lions..fighting to the death! replace jurisprudence with a thumb up or thumb down from judge judy. ads for at&t and tide surrounding the arena. you know you want it.
first match: Cheney v Hayward
opener: Coulter v Taitz and Beck v O’rielly
the tickets would sell out in 30 minutes, proceeds going to the gulf coast and Best Friends animal rescue.

Baked, I love it but what would you do for the halftime show? What could possibly improve on an Elizabeth-Michelle make out session?

@FlyingChainSaw:
that IS the halftime show!!
with wardrobe malfunctions!

@baked: Yes! I’ll get Murdock on the phone. This is just his level and he’s been looking for an excuse to get rid of O’Reilly.

@FlyingChainSaw:
haven’t been online since i wrote that. before i catch up with stinquey news, i must repeat why i love rosie o’donnell:
she walked right up to murdoch at a luncheon in nyc for broadcasters or some shit, got close to his face and simply said, “blow me.”