Offer Valid Until 7/31

Our guest columnist this afternoon is the spawn of Irene Flaugher and John Bourgholtzer, credited to Ronald Reagan and Jane Wyman.

Hello, I am Michael Reagan, eldest son of President Ronald Reagan and like you I am deeply concerned about the future of our country.

Unfortunately we have another problem. People who believe in true Reagan Conservative Values are unwittingly supporting the Obama, Pelosi and Reid liberal agenda! What do I mean? Well, every time you use your email from companies like Google, AOL, Yahoo, Hotmail, Apple and others, you are helping the liberals. These companies are, and will continue, to be huge supporters financially and with technology of those that are hurting our country.

Is that where you want your money to go? I didn’t so I changed things. I came up with the very first conservative email service provider. You now can put your name next to the name of the Greatest Conservative of all, my father Ronald Reagan.

Click through right now for

When you purchase your email address you are supporting truly conservative causes and the proceeds from this conservative initiative will help me promote true Reagan values to win back our country in November and in 2012.

I will continue to carry the Reagan Torch but I need your help. Sign up today for your very own conservative email address and when you do this before July 31st, I will send you as a special gift a copy of the “Tear Down This Wall” speech DVD absolutely free.

God Bless America,

Michael Reagan

Reagan Email [via PourMeCoffee]

At his high school graduation, his father introduced himself by saying, “My name is Ronald Reagan. What’s yours?”. He replied, “I’m your son, Mike.”

– Wikipedia, quoting an article from the Chicago Times: “”Family Outcast- A Reagan Son Sadly Remembers Years of Neglect”.

I fully support this idea. It will be a super effective timesaver for me, as I can start deleting emails, deunfriending, or otherwise disregarding these morans as soon as I see their email extension.

a little shameless unabashed capitalism in Ronnies name seems entirely appropriate.

I wonder if his host (1&1) counts as one of the “libral supporters”. To be sure, maybe he and his conservative circle-jerk buddies can go start their own internet.

Funny thing from a quick skim of for that site:

I wonder if any of the 2400+ people that were SURE the Iraq war was going to be over quickly (seven years ago) have any regrets. Prolly not.

Also note the hilarious references at the bottom of the page: the only choices are the Moonies or the (future) teabaggers.

@flippin eck: Better still, you can set up your spam filters to do it for you. It will be like they all disappeared (or were “raptured”) overnight.

@al2o3cr: I had the same question — and since you found the host…

1&1 is owned by United Internet. Of Germany.

And United Internet is owned by Ralph Dommermuth. Who also owns “United Internet Team Germany, the first participation of a German boat in the America’s Cup.”

So, how’d that work out?

United Internet Team Germany is a yacht racing team that competed for the Louis Vuitton Cup 2007, the challenger series held prior to the America’s Cup.

They planned to compete in the Louis Vuitton Pacific Series in 2009. However, they withdrew due to financial Problems as Audi canceled their sponsorship.

I’m sure there’s some fun stuff out there about Herr Dommermuth, but that’s enough for now.

*awed whisper* Is there nothing noje doesn’t know?


It’s like he has some magic source of information that he just types questions into and gets an automatic answer…

@Tommmcat Still Gets Carly Confused With Meg: I guess it comes from reading Wittgenstein while listening to Elaine Paige. Whatever. It is all kinds of awesome, dude!

@nojo: Oops, almost missed it…

“Mr. Dommermuth, tear down this firewall!”

You’re welcome.

Well Mikey,

Using the intertubes is helping liebrul values considering the father of all software was Alan Turing, noted genius who happened to be gay.

Looks like you’re going to have to make your own theories on computer software and intertubes. Good luck with the string and tin cans.

@flippin eck: agreed. anyone with a e-mail goes right into the spam filter.

@Tommmcat Still Gets Carly Confused With Meg: @Benedick: That’s a zit, and you’ll be kind enough not to keep staring at it.

I just printed a 42×35″ poster that is a close-up of Glenn Beck’s face, for the next show going up at my theater (which is based 50 years in the future, when Glenn Beck has become the prophet of some kind of horrible Orwellian Mormon compound, and the environment is entirely fucked). I may have nightmares about this.

Bold predictions:

(1) Twenty years from now, some guy is going to write a book, claiming that Ronnie came to him in a vision and told him what to write. It lands on the bestseller list for next 2000 years.

(2) All of these clowns demanding that everything that exists in this world should be named after Ronnie will be at the dedication of the first high school rechristened for Black Eagle, demanding the birth certificate and etc.

@SanFranLefty: That was my first thought, but at $34.95/year, I think I’ll pass.

Coincidentally (or not) the Guvernator signed a bill today establishing Ronald Reagan Day in California. Unclear whether that was before or after he announced a new round of furloughs for state employees and his office let it be known that due to pressure from Big Agra he would be vetoing a bill to establish overtime for farm workers.

And to my fellow fashionistas – check out what Nancy’s wearing in the photo on the LA Times article – is it just me or did she wear unlined linen pants? At least she didn’t wear red.

chicago bureau:

I wouldn’t give it twenty years. I’m sure Beck’s got the ghostwriters toiling away in a sweatshop somewhere right now.

@Tommmcat Still Gets Carly Confused With Meg: So much so, he’s apparently still seeking daddy’s approval long after the man died.

@SanFranLefty: I really wish I hadn’t clicked on that. I didn’t need to see her granny panties. Such a shame when the fashion sense goes. She didn’t have much but at least she knew what worked for her.

@TJ/ Jamie Sommers /TJ: Well, I’m not surprised when anyone under the age of 45 doesn’t wear a slip or lined linen pants, but a proper* woman from her age group? Methinks she’s suffering from the same problems as Ronnie if she can’t remember to wear lined pants.

P.S. Are you sure those are granny-panties and not Depends?
/yes, I’m on an express train to the feather bed next to the bubbling cauldron at the bottom of Hell.

*yes, Benedick, Nancy’s not really proper given her historic oral skills, but she should know better.

@SanFranLefty: So no BJs for Arnold?

Alllllll aboard!

@nojo: Well, once Nancy takes the dentures out there will be a line…amirite?

/Express Train to Hell is departing 4th and King St. station in 2 minutes, SanFranLefty is aboard….

@SFL: so glad you’re back on the weeknight martinis. I call dibs on the window seat aboard the Hell express.

@Mistress Cynica: @SanFranLefty:
spitting coffee (don’t we need a screen spit button?)
from now on everything that disappears or is misplaced is “raptured”
and moron is now moran. i hate missing a meme!
nancy without dentures…you keel me!!!

@Mistress Cynica:
i call dibs on driving. if we’re going to hell, we should have a hell ride getting there. i’m sure satan will expect an unlicensed driver.

@nojo & @SanFranLefty:

How is bungee jumping like getting oral sex from your grandmother?

It feels great but DON’T LOOK DOWN!

@Mistress Cynica: Wow, it’s that obvious?

@Original Andrew: Eeewwww.

@baked: And now I will have the damn Grateful Dead in my head all day because of your comment. “Driving that train, high on cocaine…”

what better song to accompany us to hell?
the rat, who surely will be on that train, will be forced to listen to the Carpenters.

@SanFranLefty: SFL, you better watch your speed. Trouble ahead, trouble behind, and you know that notion just crossed my mind…

I think that’s the only Dead song I know. Some dude from Teh Farm tried to get us to go to a Lesh concert. We passed. We did go with him and a bunch of friends to see Toots and the Maytals, though. Good times. Someone else kept telling me to take Jr to a tapas bar, but I thought they were saying, “Topless bar,” and I was soooo confused about why that would be a good idea.

@baked: Make him listen to Captain and Tennielle (sp? fuck it!).

one song you know? lucky girl.
cyn, lefty and i are tormented. against our will, we know EVERY song.
perhaps the cast album from Cats for a Rat?

also–can’t log into anything to find the comment. they REALLY banned me but good!
manesh ta na hilayah haseh
(why is this night different than every other?)
sadly, it’s not.

@baked: Which (LOLDENTONISADICK) blog was it on and about how long ago?

@SanFranLefty: And I thought you were talking about Nancy Pelosi.

Did you see that Arnie called for a statue of Reagan? From the Sacramento Bee:

“Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger said this morning that a statue of former President Ronald Reagan should be built at the state Capitol, and that a college, mountain range or lake should perhaps be named for him.

Schwarzenegger was with former first lady Nancy Reagan at the Ronald Reagan Presidential Library in Simi Valley for a ceremonial signing of legislation designating a day each year to honor Reagan. The former California governor died in 2004.

“Ronald Reagan is my hero,” Schwarzenegger said.”

You know what this means, the competition will now begin over how tall the statue should be, with competing republicans accusing each other of being insufficiently Reagan-worshipping, as they bid it up, starting in the tens of feet, then the hundreds, then thousands. In the end, they’ll say “fuck it,” and change the name of the Moon to “Reagan.” They can project an image of his face on it with giant lasers, and the full moon will become known as the time when Reagan Smiles Upon Us.

@Prommie: Six months ago some teabagging Jeebus freak fool announced his campaign to have Mount Diablo in the East Bay renamed Mount Reagan in honor of Ronnie and because having a local landmark named for the devil makes the 7 pound 12 ounce Baby Jesus cry.

@Prommie: If Luna is be named after the twit, the slogan should be “Reagan moons us”.

That’s what it felt like at the time.

@SanFranLefty: Plus, too, also over there, that mountain over there is named in mexican, they could at least call it Mount Devil. By the way, when they gonna rename your fair city “Saint Frank?”

@Walking Still: He was full on fucking us.

Reagan is everywhere,
Reagan is everything
Reagan is everybody
Reagan is still the king.

Apologies to Mojo.

@Prommie: No argument here.

Are we looking at a Church of Reagan, with Nancy as the born again virgin bride, Ronnie Jr. as the prodigal son and Lee Atwater as Peter, the founder of the church?

They could elect the pope at the Republican convention, and they’ve already got the pedphilia angle nailed down.

@baked: Carpenters are too good for him. I have some appropriately vile suggestions, but I’m afraid of causing earworms, so I’ll spare you all.

@Walking Still: Thank you for your sensitivity w/r/t the earworm issue. Many, many thanks.

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