Toy Story 3-D

Back in fifth grade, our progressive sex-ed book had a picture of a nekkid boy, weenie out, which got us all excited — that meant just a few pages later we’d see a nekkid girl.

But the publishers used a drawing instead. Bastids.

Kids today don’t know how good they have it:

Parents are outraged after young teenagers were instructed on graphic sexual acts during a Planned Parenthood sex education class at the local high school in Shenandoah, Iowa…

[Colleen] Dostal’s 14-year-old son was one of a handful of eighth graders in the class. The students, she said, were given instruction on how to perform female exams and the instructor used a 3-D, anatomically correct male sex organ to explain how to use a condom.

But Dostal said she was most upset over the instructor simulating sexual acts using stuffed animals designed to resemble STD’s.

In like a lion, as the inexplicably unfindable National Lampoon cov—

Hold on. Plush STDs?

At first we thought the Fox copy desk was asleep at the switch. And then we looked around.

Graphic Sex Ed Class Under Fire [Fox]

Instructor of SHS sex ed class says information was ‘turned around’ [Lexington Clipper-Herald, Your Source for Dawson & Gosper County News]


What is this? The Paris Hilton beanie baby line?

All information we use is medically accurate and science based.

Well there’s your problem, Planned Parenthood. You should know better than to bring nasty ol’ libral “science” into teabagger-land… :)

He’s 14 and doesn’t already know how to do it? I’d call him retarded but we’re not supposed to do that any more.

Right. The kids went home to watch necrobestial porno all afternoon on the parents’ home computer after the lesson and the parents are disturbed that part of the classwork included stuffed animal fornication.

Will comment on this post after prime time.

I never knew Chlamydia was so gosh darn cute! I just want to put it in my pocket…wait.

One of my political aquaintences got her career ruined when she brought her people of color-gay/lesbainian, etc.-friendly AIDS education act to the classroom. even here in “liberal” Santa Fe. She and her .org got sent packing, they lost some grants – basically just crashed and burned. It’s my understanding that she’s unemployed out in Cali now, having lost her house and job here. I think they did the “condom on the banana” thing, something mild like that that shocked the hell out of someone.

Wait… mom is pissed her son saw a lesson on how to check your breast for potentially cancerous lumps? And really, I can’t for the life of me figure out how you simulate sexual acts with stuffed toys designed to represent STDs. WTF does that even mean?

@flippin eck: A day without herpes is like a day without sunshine.

What exactly is “the pox”? It’s a pink snake?

@SanFranLefty: Apparently it’s syphilis. The likeness is actually pretty good.

@mellbell: Very old name for it. From back when it was the Spanish Pox. Or the French Pox. I’m thinking what a peculiar thing to call it. Kind of thing Mike Lee would do. Typical.

@Benedick: Or the English Pox. Pox Brittanica, wasn’t it?

@Prommie: If you were French, yes. Or Spanish. But I see what you did there. And I might just have to spank you.

Wait, what does that even mean? How do you simulate sex between a spirochete and a little round ball and still have it be medically accurate and science-based? Something is off here. Either the behavior described is being exaggerated or the representatives from Planned Parenthood were being wildly inappropriate.

In my limited contact with Planned Parenthood ( I have had some), I’ve never found the organization to be wildly anything, so it stands to reason that perhaps their actions are being misrepresented somewhat.

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