Kim Jong-il Wants A Mulligan

I know SFL will be coming by with some beefcake later, perhaps.  But let it not go unnoticed that today was the day that the people at Korean Central TV wanted to show a game live to the people of North Korea.  The point was to show the North Korean people that they, in fact, could compete with anyone in the world and such.


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Per ESPN: “As the 7-0 loss to Portugal concluded, the North Koreans quickly halted Monday’s coverage. ‘The Portuguese won the game and now have four points,’ the Korean Central Broadcasting commentator said. ‘We are ending our live broadcast now.’ It then cut to factory workers and engineers praising North Korean leader Kim Jong Il.”

Best.  Segue.  Ever.

(Oh, and Kim was supposedly handling the whole strategy thing for the boys in South Africa.  That worked out well.)


Ha. If I watched the game, I would have been cheering for Portugal.

Despite some relatives in NK (don’t know if they’re alive in the worker’s paradise) but there is no way in hell am I going to cheer for my commie cousins.

I guess it’s off to the soccer reeducation camps for the coaching staff.

Too bad the Portuguese don’t have a coach with a sense of humor that would have allowed for all the guys having drawings of Kim Jong-Il sucking off donkeys on their guts which they could flash at the camera after goals and cheerleaders in Kim Jong-Il masks being kicked senseless by guys in Sarkozy masks.

@ManchuCandidate: It’s funny, I saw an ROK fan on the Beeb saying he was rooting for NK, and sad that they were “embarrassed”.

The squad will indeed be turning in their Nikes for a set of hobnail boots.

@ManchuCandidate: @Nabisco: Mr. SFL found an article that quotes a former NK coach saying that after bad performances abroad the players were sent to work in gold mines. I figure the only reason the entire team hasn’t defected is that their families are all being held hostage at work camps with the thread of execution if the team doesn’t come back. Hope they at least got some meat protein and (protected) sex while in South Africa.

@SanFranLefty: Yeah, defection is a very distant option. If their defense protected against the counterattack as well as they are watched while abroad, they’d never lose. It ain’t like los Cubanos who tend to slip away for greener pastures beisbol fields. Plus, the propaganda mill has probably already spun this as another great gift from the Dear Leader to the debt-ridden capitalist drones on the Iberian peninsula, because the great honor of beating the mighty DPRK is one bestowed on only the most worthy.

Oh, Dear Leader, if only you had heeded my advice and taken to the field yourself, this miserable defeat could have been avoided. Now, I realize that I am but a lowly peasant, kneeling meekly before your greatness, and it is not my place to say. And I know that in your wisdom a decision was made that merely highlights the magnitude of your magnanimity and strength (football should be played by mortals, meeting each other upon a grassy field.) But, still, I cannot help but wonder what might have been had you, Dear Leader, captained our team and led North Korea to the World Cup championship, as surely you would have!!!!

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