Zombie Apocalypse Spreads to Texas

“A Southwest Airlines employee called police after finding human heads in a package set to be transported to a Fort Worth medical research company, the airline said. ‘It wasn’t labeled or packaged properly,’ said Ashley Rogers, a Southwest spokeswoman.” [NBC DFW]


Proper packaging of human heads is important. One begins by placing the first layer with the top of the skull facing down and the neck jutting upward. Then the next layer is placed neck downward so that the necks form an interlocking matrix. The pattern is then repeated until the box is filled.

“Oh, that’s where it went.”
– cyrogenics lab storing frozen head of Ted Williams

they are not explosive. what do they care?

@nojo: Nah. Not enough headroom in the cabin for that.
*cue rimshot button*

@Capt Howdy:

The injury happened as Mr Aparicio was attempting the faena, a series of passes in which he uses his cape and sword before delivering the death blow – or estocada.

Sucks for him, but honestly… couldn’t have come at a more poetically appropriate moment.

I’ve seen bullfights, several of them, when I was a kid growing up in Mexico. They are brutal, vile and barbaric. There is nothing redeeming to the sport. Yes there is a certain poetry to it as the matador waves his cape at the powerful bull and pivots as the animal charges by. But when the picadors come out on their horses and hack away at the majestic creature, weakening the defenseless beast in order to exhaust it enough that the Matador can take a final, clean death plunge, you can only feel sorry… not just for the bull, but for humanity itself.

@flippin eck: There’s a bad-joke-telling guy on my current project – after a particularly awful one I tooted a whistle, threw a flag, and penalized him 15 yards and loss of down. Your joke would have cost you the game.

@Serolf Divad:
no sympathy for the guy. none. IMO he got exactly what he deserved.

the only thing I ever liked about bull fights was the pants.

@Serolf Divad: And it’s worse if you didn’t pay extra to sit in the shade.

How ’bout that stinque mojo for Mexico?

No motherfucking heads on the motherfucking plane. This explains my delayed Southwest flight a couple of days ago.

Maybe they were just trying to comply with Southwest’s policy of forcing large people to pay for two seats.

I have a sister who is just beautiful, and smart and competent, and she’s a good egg, and when I graduated from college, she was married to a dentist. I only mention this about her being so worthy, because, at any given moment, one needed a scorecard to know who she was married to, it could be embarrassing if you called the new husband by the old husband’s name. But anyway, I graduated with an English degree, so it was time for me to start to seriously consider my vocation in life, and my big sis’s dentist husband number 3 said I should consider dental school. And I asked him what that was like, and he mentioned that there was one semester, when you were given a head, a head off a cadaver, and you got to spend a semester taking that apart and fucking with its teeth. And thats why I didn’t go to dental school.

I am sure thats where these heads were, wait for it, headed. badum bum.

@redmanlaw: I think I called it for the Tricolor, but didn’t stay up to watch.

Add a Comment
Please log in to post a comment