Don’t Worry, Arizona, South Carolina Has Your Back
We keep imagining the great mistakes of South Carolina and Arizona in some kind of competition for the America’s Cup of Douchebaggery — just as one takes a commanding lead, the other comes from behind — but we’re beginning to wonder whether they’re really tag-teaming us.
Case in point: This new ad from Gresham Barrett, who’s facing proto-GILF Nikki Haley in a runoff for the Republican gubernatorial nomination. Nikki, as you’ll recall, has been the subject of public pestorking fantasies by not one, but two Republican operatives. She’s also been called a “raghead” by SC good ol’ bastard Jake Knotts, apparently because her folks are Indian Sikhs, and in defiance of her conversion to The One True Religion.
It’s gotten so
amusing bad that we’ve completely ignored her endorsement from Sarah Palin.
So here comes Barrett, neatly working in the boast that he’s a “Christian family man who won’t embarrass us,” for which you can read (1) White, (2) Male, (3) Didn’t worship snake gods during his childhood, or whatever the fuck those ragheads do, and (4) Is more attractive to horses than women, guaranteeing that you won’t have to worry about bimbo eruptions.
All well and good. Problem is, at least three of those four subtexts also apply to Mark Sanford.