The Volcano Death Ray Remains in Play

“Stephanie Mueller, a spokeswoman for the Energy Department, said that neither Energy Secretary Steven Chu nor anyone else was thinking about a nuclear blast under the gulf. The nuclear option was not — and never had been — on the table, federal officials said. ‘It’s crazy,’ one senior official said.” [NYT]


Well, thank God. A commenter on Wonkette pointed out that the Soviets had long ago used nukes, not to cap wells, as some rightwing site had averred, but as a way of breaking into oil reservoirs, and that it was a fiasco, disaster, etc.

“I say we take off and nuke the entire site from orbit. It’s the only way to be sure. ”

Ellen Ripley, US Energy Dept Consultant

‘It’s crazy,’ one senior official said.”


Well, a sub could have an “accident” there . . .

Imagine ripping a giant hole in the sea bed that made the flow look like the blast from the Yucatan meteor that’s been blamed for the demise of the dinosaurs.

“Get away from her, YOU BITCH!!”

-Original Andrew, Stinque Commenter, in defense of Mother Earth, to Sarah Palin, Alaskan Queen (pictured)

@redmanlaw: Heard during spring break planning, 2011:

Ashley: “My folks say we should avoid Cancun this year, it’s like radioactive or something.”

Brittany: “Um, yeah, but think about the tan we’ll get.”

I can’t believe that anybody who has the foggiest idea how nukes work would even *suggest* doing this. An example of what could happen is the Storax Sedan shot, part of the Plowshare program investigating the use of nuclear explosives for civil engineering.

That shot, which was mostly contained, released 880 kCi of iodine-131 into the atmosphere. That’s enough to give about 60 MILLION people treatment for Graves’ Hypothyroidism, to give some perspective. And the Storax yield was 104 kt, about a third of what a representative warhead (the W87 ICBM reentry vehicle) would give. Add in the fact that a substantially larger quantity of I131 subsided back into the crater (with the 8 million tons of rock) at Storax, wheras seawater has a nasty habit of dissolving things, and you start to see the problem…

Future Sarah Palin Tweet: “Extreme Humanitites: See now why we push “nuke,baby,nuke” of known reserves and promising finds in safe terrestrial places like EARTH? Now do you get it?”

Pussies. Real psychos would just recommend vaporizing the Gulf of Mexico with nukes and just walking up to the gusher and stuffing a rag into it.


Well done! I can’t even come up with decent snark for those bizarre, illogical, nonsensical tweets. It’s like she has Idiocy Tourette’s, and her Twitter ghostwriter (ghost-twatter?) just twats the dumbest thing she blurts out over breakfast each morning. Talk about the easiest gig ever.

@SpongeBobtheBuilder: Yesterday I asked what people thought the over/under was on Sarah tweeting “Nuke, baby, nuke” – you want in on that?

Betcha dollars to donuts she pronounces the word “nuclear” like Shrub.

@Original Andrew: I stand by my original observation that the tweets are Raw Sarah, while Facebook is heavily mediated. Those tweets are the closest thing in print to her actual speaking style.

On the other hand, “Idiocy Tourette’s” sounds about right.

@al2o3cr: I contend that those who talk about a nuclear options are just little boys who wish they had big toys, ifyaknowwhatimeanandithinkyoudo.

Just got home from the ballgame, went to the PBS Newshour site where you can watch all 12 BP ROV video feeds at the same time. Well, they put the small concrete condom over the erupting tube, the large one not having worked, and oil is still billowing out. Next plan, boys?

@Dodgerblue: Colbert just recommended stuffing penguins down the pipe.

i liked jon’s idea…glooping it, as in augustus gloop.

@baked: @nojo: I just watched the June 3 Daily Show, and may I just say “Olivia Munn? Not Vietnamese, but definitely an Asian delight!”

Sorry gheyz and gals…

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