Joe’s Porn DVD Drops Next Week

So, Mr. Plumber, have you ever stolen anything? “When I was a very little boy, I don’t exactly remember it, I guess we were going through a department store and I stole a pair of silk female garments and put them beneath my butt because I apparently liked how it felt.” [AOL News, via Countdown]

12 Comments

JtP tranny pr0n: DO NOT WANT

I’d like to see that dinner party, though: watching Jeebus, Washington and Lincoln simultaneously kick the fuck out of Joe for his teabagging nonsense would be pretty funny.

50 bonus points if Talibunny sends him a pair of her panties. :)

/architecture porn/

So mere months after declaring her never-ending love for Atlanta and its citizens, along with a promise to stay forever and ever and ever, Jane Fonda’s put her condo on market and is moving back to Hell LAy. Surprise good bye!

Her blog has dozens of high quality photos that may be magnified in pronographic, whimsical detail, which is like the sweet, sweet, somnambulent gin of the house-aholic set. I have to say that I’m quite enamored with this stunning apartment. Elegant in its simplicity, it’s certainly got plenty of space (the kind that keeps me tossing and turning all night in my tiny house) with 4,700 square feet and what appear to be 18-foot ceilings in the central living arena. The neutral color scheme and and spare, mostly white furnishings provide an ideal background for a surprisingly provocative modern art collection. Of particular interest is the glass sculpture-enclosed fireplace in the master bedroom, and the large bed with a (OMFG) mirrored canopy. (GO JANE!! Bow-chicka-wow-wow).

The most unusual feature is the entry through two gorgeous, quilted stainless steel doors which lead directly to a pharaoh-esque antechamber-foyer that… well… take it away Jane: “To me it is a womb with a narrow birth channel and then you enter the wide open sunny loft to be born again.” Um…Ooooh-kaaay. So how much will it cost to feel “born again” every time you schlep home from work or the bars? Try $4,500,000. My spies tell me that this would be a perfectly reasonable price in NY or LA, but in Hawtlanta it’s like putting your house on the market for eleventy bajillion dollars, so perhaps Señora Fonda isn’t in such a hurry to vacate these sensual premises after all.

One might be tempted to rent, in which case this sublime space may be yours for only $10,000 per month. Seems like a bargain when you can say that Judy Bernly slept here, or if you’re looking for a man named Duran Duran.

@Original Andrew: You made me read Jane Fonda’s blog! Damn you. What next? Cher?

I’m always made nervous by people with white furniture. A: they don’t have dogs, have never had dogs, and don’t ever plan to have dogs. And B: they don’t eat spaghetti while watching TV or throw up or spill wine. Plus, think of the dusting!

I was wondering when the “porn” part comes in until I came to this:

What are you doing this weekend?
Cutting a lot of wood. I took down three 100-plus-foot-tall oak trees, and now I’ve got to do the whole nine yards to them.

Eeeeeeew!

@Serolf Divad: He thinks he’s a 7. I have news for him.

@Benedick:

But did you enjoy the “birth channel?”

@Original Andrew: Miss Fonda has a ranch in Pecos east of Santa Fe. The guys at the fly shop say she shows up for the annal river clean up and is very nice. The local fishwrap ran a picture of her in jeans and a royal blue fly vest picking up trash at the cleanup last year.

Congrats on B school. Law school was like a three year vacation for me after several years as a reporter.

@Original Andrew: @Benedick: People with white furniture (all white furniture) not only don’t have pets, they never allow anyone under the age of 30 into their houses, and they don’t drink red wine. Or do much of anything except walk around carefully in paper surgical gear. I was surprised at the amount of pink in that house. With the sea green accents, I was getting a real Miami Vice vibe.

And congrats on B-School, OA. Remember us when you become a master of the universe.

@Original Andrew and Mistress Cynica: I am not a fan of the pink, nor the white furniture for the red wine/pet reasons, but otherwise a lovely space. The floor-to-ceiling built-in bookshelf made me salivate.

@Mistress Cynica & @SanFranLefty:

I’m not usually a fan of a monochromatic color scheme myself, but in this case the white really works, at least aesthetically, because it highlights the grand architecture and the fascinating art collection.

I also like the pink. It’s very youthful, and lends a certain vitality to the space.

@Benedick:

I’d never wanna live in a house with no doggies.

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