Think Before You Whack

It’s not like Porn is the same thing over and over and over again with the only things that change is the, er, hair styles and plumbing.

Now that I think about it, the porn industry does have a pretty serious revenue problem, versus say the music industry:

– there’s no secondary income from merch (sales of creepy-ass RealDolls notwithstanding)

– live performances are both difficult and illegal in some jurisdictions, not to mention difficult to “enjoy” in a crowd

– there’s a great deal of what the economists would call “substitutability”; there’s only so many ways to put tab A into slot B, so performers are significantly interchangeable.

Yeah, I’d say the porn stars are pretty fucked. :)

@ManchuCandidate:

I guess. still I frequently thank god for my 70s porn collection.

bored?

Top 20 “5 Second Films”

not for the squeamish or easily offended

@Capt Howdy:
how frequently?

@al2o3cr: the actresses make more in strip club appearances than in films, but they actually have to become known to cash in on this, and few reach that level.

@Capt Howdy: Lots of bush in them thar films, I bet. I have this picture of Demi Moore from back in, it must have been when she was barely legal, I think she did Playboy, Oh My God, thats one hirsute woman. Her electrolysis and waxing bills must be enormous.

/TJ, especially for SFL/

Airbrushing was good enough for the FLOTUS on that Good Housekeeping cover, and now it’s good enough for Nancy P. too. They’ve unaged her by about three decades. Most alarming is that Nancy’s people are claiming it wasn’t airbrushed. Honey, don’t do this. We have eyes…

@baked: Well, experts agree that a normal average man in good health rarely whacks more than 5 to 10 times a day, but age reduces the desire, so by the age of 50 or so, many men only do it once a day, as unbeleivable as that might sound.

What, no Chi Chi La Rue?

Cinnamon Love is quite possibly the best porn name ever.

@flippin eck:

Yeesh. She looks 20, almost.

@baked:

ha

way for frequently than you might imagine for my advanced years.

AZ legislature already making changes to the new immigration law.

@Prommie: In the gay community, Porn Stardom (as opposed to just “being in a couple movies”) is generally a calling card for expensive hustlers.

Went hiking to the secret lake. There was beaver.

Wait. You can download porn from the internet?! I did not know that.

@Tommmcatt Loves The Giant Floating Head: It was good of you to explain “salad-tossing” over in the site which dare not speak its name. I posted a follow-up question, I was looking for an explanation of this “prostate massage” thingy I saw on the cover of Cosmo.

@Benedick: Wynona’s Big Brown Beaver? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aYDfwUJzYQg
Remember, that song was nominated for a Grammy.

@Prommie: You could just stick a finger up your ass and wave it around till you hit something.

You know Lisa Ann is serious; she took off her glasses for emphasis. Stanislavski taught her well.

@FreshCliches: I thought she was referencing Naughty Librarians.

@Benedick:

Great. Now we wont see you for days. Go with the recurring membership and cancel in the middle of the month, by the way, it’s cheaper. Just don’t forget to cancel.

@Prommie:

Hm.

Place your thumb underneath your chin and feel for the soft yet firm area there. Apply firm gentle pressure on that area, but be sure to be cognizant of any discomfort you might feel. Some people enjoy an up and down motion of the thumb, but for some this is too intense. The area that you are looking for is located toward your mouth- it won’t take much experimentation to find it. I have heard of people using a golf ball to do this, but I’ve never done that myself. Note that at no time do you actually have to put anything in your mouth- though some people really like that, some find it unpleasant (like me). I will say that the sensation would be more intense if you were to put your thumb in your mouth.

Are you following me here? Have your partner do this correctly, and it should increase the intensity of, ah, your dessert course, considerably.

@Tommmcatt Loves The Giant Floating Head: Golf balls?

@Benedick: I experienced this once from a doctor in connection with lab work for a little something I picked up from a young lady I was boffing. I didn’t find it pleasurable, although the boffing was OK.

@Benedick: I have heard of straight guys using them as they are firm and round, and therefore not like a scary penis. I don’t suggest putting them, um, in your mouth, though, as you would likely swallow it and have a hard time …well, you see what I mean…

@Dodgerblue:

She wan’t doin it right, then. Trust me.

@Tommmcatt Loves The Giant Floating Head: It’s really a man’s job.

Twenty-five comments in, and nobody’s mentioned “Look for the Union label.”

@Tommmcatt Loves The Giant Floating Head: The doctor was a he. She, by contrast, was doing it right, except for being colonized by some not entirely benign organisms. It was not a fun conversation when I told her about it.

@flippin eck: The fuh??? It doesn’t even look like her.

@Dodgerblue:

Heh. Those are the best phone calls ever.

Me: Um, I went to the doctor and I have gross thing #3, so you should probably go get checked.

Them (invariably): You didn’t get it from me!

Me: Ah, I wasn’t suggesting that I did, I just thought maybe you should go…

Them: Because I don’t have symptoms.

Me: Ah, well, you should go anyway because sometimes…

Them: Thanks, but I’m sure I’m okay.

Me: Well, good then…

[silence]

Me: Guess I’ll see you around the Big Cup then…

@Tommmcatt Loves The Giant Floating Head: Yeah, pretty much how it went. I think my treatment for the bug lasted longer than the relationship.

@Tommmcatt Loves The Giant Floating Head: That brought a tear to my eye.

@Benedick:

Tony material, I know…

@Tommmcatt Loves The Giant Floating Head: You are just begging for an overshare about perimenopausal ladybits problems. Fair warning.

@Mistress Cynica: /draws up a chair and glass of wine

@Mistress Cynica:

It is not possible to overshare here. I just gave a full lesson on how to stimulate a prostate.

@Mistress Cynica: Do share.

@flippin eck: Yikes!!! Is that supposed to be Katie Couric?

@Tommmcatt Loves The Giant Floating Head: I thought it was Sinnamon Love. But yes, the best!

@Tommmcatt Loves The Giant Floating Head: I truly didn’t get that. Wasn’t it the wrong orifice for the prostrate? I have a feeling I’ve been missing out on some really important things lo these many years.

@Tommmcatt Loves The Giant Floating Head: This was really helpful until I sneezed and scratched the roof of my mouth. Think my doctor will believe it was a Wheat Thin that did it?