Jesus Freak Baldwin Broke … Needs $$$

Stephen Baldwin—the least Baldwin of all the Baldwins—is bankrupt and talentless. Luckily, he came up with a plan to make money that requires no talent or work: It is a website called Let’s make a donation! [Gawker]


Oh Lord, won’t you pay me a gajillion bucks ?
My brothers all talk liberalism, I must make amends.
Appeared in Biodome, no help from Paulie Shore,
So Lord, won’t you pay me a gajillion bucks ?

Oh Lord, won’t you buy me a hamburger ?
Benny Hinn Ministries is trying to pay me.
I wait for delivery each day until three,
So oh Lord, won’t you buy me a hamburger ?

Oh Lord, won’t you buy me a night on the town ?
I’m counting on you, Lord, please don’t let me down.
Prove that you love me and buy the next round,
Oh Lord, won’t you buy me a night on the town?

Lord: Get a job, you loser.

What, no alt-text about hate-fucking him?

Bloggie’s not much with the alt text. We have to bring him into the fold.

@IanJ: In Bloggie’s super strong defense, it’s not as self-evident as you might think when you’re mucking around in the bowels of WordPress/hidden Stinque dashboard. You’re not supposed to put the alt-text in the line that says “alt-text” but instead you put it somewhere else.

If he was really hard up, he’d be sucking off truck drivers at rest stops on interstates for $5. That’s rock bottom. When he gets there, he can talk to us. So we can laugh at him.

@SanFranLefty: I must admit, that photo almost makes him hate-fuck-worthy.

I just want to read transcripts of Alec tearing into this douchenozzle at Baldwin Fambly Thanksgiving Dinner.

@FlyingChainSaw: He needs a hot lunch. Well, he’s already got a Dirty Sanchez.

@SanFranLefty: Hey … it was past midnight, I’d been watching the NFL draft, and was well into cocktail hour. I promise to do better …

@blogenfreude: Dude, cocktail hour starts at 4pm (pick your time zone, doesn’t have to be your own) and I don’t think it’s supposed to last past midnight. But then again, I’m not the expert on that. What are you, a Eur-o-pean?

@Tommmcatt Loves The Giant Floating Head: You mean the post-meth-rehab fatty evangelical rappin’ Stevie B? Yeah, what a waste of genetic potential.

@Tommmcatt Loves The Giant Floating Head: “Have you seen him lately?


I was going off of Bloggie’s photo that he threw up there.

I eagerly await the update on how horrifically terrible Stevie Baldwin has fallen from the Stinquey Ghey Americans.

Oh My Fucking Gawd. I finally clicked through to Stephen’s naked plea for cash of a web site.

Our vision is to see Stephen Baldwin publicly restored in front of millions. Stephen’s platform will increase allowing him to reach even more people with the Gospel and God will get all of the glory. Publicly.


And…restored? To what?

May God get all the glory and Stephen get all the cold hard cash. I’m reconsidering my atheism right now, as I launch Dreamweaver to construct my new non-profit “.org” web site.

@Pedonator: Dude, now I clicked through and saw that his website is The Website of Unnecessary and Gratuitous Capitalization.

What if 10% of the 159 million Christians in America gave a Token Gift? What if 10% of the worlds 2 billion Christians gave a token gift?

Holy fuck…. the guy wants to be made a multi-millionaire through the donations of ordinary schmucks who are sad that he’s not a multi-millionaire any more? This reminds me of the time televangelist Benny Hinn set up a website to raise money to buy himself a bigger Learjet.

No shame.

i’d hit any baldwin…yes, i’m that shallow and indiscriminate…
when it comes to baldwin meat that is.
you must instruct them though…”don’t speak, just..don’t speak”

(anyone know the movie?)

@baked: Bullets Over Broadway. Of course. “The world will open for you like a magnificent vagina!”

I loved Jon Stewart making fun of Stephen at CPAC. The guy introducing him was like “our next speaker needs no introduction” at which point Jon exclaimed “No introduction? He needs an introduction at a Baldwin family dinner”. Hilarious. Liberals are so cruel.

ding! ding! ding!

lurve the jon…that’s hilarious.

@blogenfreude: G’luck with Santonio. We’re starting Dennis “the Duck” for a couple six games.


Helen Sinclair: Make love to me.
David Shayne: Here? Now?
Helen Sinclair: I see no reason to wait.
David Shayne: Jerome Kern is on the other side of the door.
Helen Sinclair: Yes, he’s a wonderful composer. You’ll have to meet him. Now hang up your pants.

HF…this is my favorite woody movie after annie hall.
@BENEDICK…you will LOVE this movie.

@baked: Eh.

I thought you were quoting The Rose Tattoo. The great scene with the neighbors coming to tell Magnani that her husband is dead. Clearly W Allen saw the play too. Hence the joke.

This is prosperity gospel for retards.

hey, HEY! @Benedick:

you can call me retarded AFTER you see it, but you won’t.
it’s his most erudite piece, which ain’t sayin much, but..

broadway! actors! writers! producers! the mob! how could it go wrong?
IT DOESN’T. pinky swear…you will enjoy this and explain the inside theater jokes to me.

@baked: Draling, I wasn’t calling you retarded. I was referring to the Baldwin version of prosperity gospel. Which is retarded even by prosperity gospel standards.

I’ll try to see it. I never think he knows anything about the theatre. Only what he’s seen at the movies. B’way Danny Rose was laughable. But perhaps I’m wrong. It has happened. Twice. Just so long as I don’t have to look at him acting and having beautiful women pretend not to be repulsed when he macks on them I will be OK.

We’re re-watching The Red Shoes for the first time in years. That really is like the theatre.

the luscious john cusack plays the woody role.
and chaz palmenteri steals the show…plays a mobster who hangs around watching the producers money and daffy actress, AND turns out to be an excellent writer. if you liked b’way danny, you most certainly will like this.
remember, woody was a playwright long before he was a screen writer.

why am i promoting woody? i’m just promoting THIS especially to YOU !! xxxxx

now to the garden…

we are so confused.
by laughable, you meant HATED IT. (name the tv show)
i took it to mean laugh worthy sort of. i AM retarded!
back from the garden, it’s too friggin hot out there.
everybody is happy. i would be happy too if i were a cactus.
speaking of woody, he answered the question, “what is more important to the human race, religion or science”? his reply is my own.
“between the pope and air conditioning, i’ll take air conditioning”

@baked: everybody is happy. i would be happy too if i were a cactus.
Still 4/20 in T&C, obvs!

@flippin eck:
and i delude myself that it isn’t obvious!

@baked: I think I have seen it. I seem to remember J Tilley. Didn’t hate B’way DR it just made no sense.

BTW. Spring garden here is pretty awesome. Tulips everywhere. The Angeliques are just opening, double apple-blossom and white. I planted beaded iris yesterday and don’t care who knows it.

@SanFranLefty: He could charge an extra buck for taking out the fake choppers. That’s innovation. Innovation is the heart and soul of free enterprise. And what is more American than free enterprise? Get with America, Steve!

@Benedick: Woody gave up after Stardust Memories. Or I gave up on him. Which was a very difficult breakup.

@mellbell: Yeah, I’ll have to put that in the queue. But every time I see a Later Woody movie, I either cringe at the young actor playing the Woody role, or wonder why he’s retreading another ’70s New Yorker short.

I blame Mia. Screwed him up like Yoko.

@nojo: I liked Vicky Cristina Barcelona more than I thought I would, mainly because of the eye candy and acting chops of Penelope Cruz and Javier Bardem. I was meh on ScarJo’s performance.

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