We’ve Said Too Much Already

“An anal vibrator believed to be a bomb caused the California Highway Patrol to briefly evacuate its South Lake Tahoe area office on April 7.” [Tahoe Daily Tribune, via LuxMentis]


bwa hahahahaha

During a subsequent search, officers found “a suspicious wire, with an on/off switch” in the man’s front left pocket leading to his anal cavity, according to the report.


Speaking of electronics people will be using to pleasure themselves, it looks like that lost ‘n found 4G iPhone was for real-real and not an elaborate marketing gimmick. Isn’t Steve Jobs aware of the “Losers=Weepers” clause in THE CONSTITUTION?

That 27 year-old engineer who “lost” it probs had his heart ripped out and was then lowered into a volcano in the Jobs Temple of Doom last night.

@Original Andrew: Knee-jerk cynicism always amuses me. Like Apple needs an elaborate hoax to generate buzz for a new iPhone?

Plus, there’s no telling whether the case design is intended for production. Although Gruber says the radio-friendly ceramic back may be the real deal.


Butt does it include a prostate stimulator? What’s Steve’s answer for that??

@Original Andrew:

Android has plenty of prostate stimulators.

Sent from my iPud

TH/Since when is over 40 “Mature” what the hell! I’m barely over 40!

Mature my ass.

I remember the first time I saw an iPod: a group of about four guys were huddled in the locker room at the gym comparing their, um, equipment. I felt so left out. And then I realized they were looking at some new-fangled 21st-century Walkman. Dis-appointed.

in the 70s the mom of a dear friend left a slightly insane Chiwawa and her small Louie Vuitton bag in her car briefly and the dog chewed a small hole in the corner of the bag which she did not notice when she grabbed the bag and headed for the bank.
while walking through the bank a vibrator slipped through the hole hit the floor and turned on causing everyone in the bank to turn and look.
she picked it up turned it off and returned it to the bag and went on to do her business – you really need to know the lady, one of the most composed classy and regal people I know – in the bank as if nothing had happened.
I guess these days they would evacuate the bank.

@Tommmcatt Loves The Giant Floating Head: Get fucking used to it. Especially when the AARP applications start piling up.

@Capt Howdy: We used to have a vibrator among the trophies in the high school band case. One of the girls would fill it with quarters and pull it out to buy fries at McDonald’s.

I’m so glad I grew up in an era before parents were so fucking uptight.

@Tommmcatt Loves The Giant Floating Head:
I turn 40 this year, but I’ve already gotten the “old man” bidniz from a friend’s 10 year old nephew as he challenged me to XBOX360 Ice Hockey. Mouthy kid, too.

Wasn’t so mouthy when this old man (with 30+ years playing video games) kicked his ass. I refrained from yelling “In your face!” cause I’m, um, mature, but it didn’t stop me from doing a mental jig.

@ManchuCandidate: whipping a kid’s ass at video games will never NOT be satisfying.

@Capt Howdy: if Jobs isn’t allowing nudies outside of Playboy in the app store, no prostate stimulators for the rest of us.

Speaking of anal vibrators … delightful schadenfreude! A friend of mine told me about video of the gap-toothed-jackass-who-didn’t-know-a-good-thing-when-he-had-it on the C-SPAN website.

Turns out he testified in front of Deputy Dawg and McGeezer’s Fatherland Homeland Security committee today with more uhs and ums per sentence than should be permitted in a man over the age of 40. I think McGeezer made him nervous.

@Tommmcatt Loves The Giant Floating Head: About the time anything larger that a women’s size 10 became “plus sized.” Seriously, Saks in NYC has everything size 12 and up on a special floor for the fat girls. My size 12 ass was not amused.

@Mistress Cynica: I thought everything over a 6 was plus-sized these days, or at least it seemed the last time I made the mistake of going in to the Gap to find a new pair of khakis.

@Mistress Cynica: @SanFranLefty: Well, first you’d have to define what those numbers mean, because they’re pretty fucking arbitrary as far as I can tell. I once walked out of a Gap Outlet with a size 4 skirt and a size 8 pair of khakis.

@SanFranLefty: To quote the man in Devil Wears Prada, “Six is the new fourteen.”

@TJ/ Jamie Sommers /TJ: I’ve ordered the same style pants from Gap in two different colors, and had one that fit and the other–same size–that was too large. So dreadfully hard to keep those child slave laborers to the proper standards.
And now I have the ILGWU song stuck in my head :”Look for the Union label…”

@TJ/ Jamie Sommers /TJ: @Mistress Cynica:
Well, yes, I am not a small girl, but I can wear a small top or extra-small bottom from Old Navy but can barely squeeze into a large/10-12 at Banana Republic.

Aren’t the clothes all made in the same sweatshop?

And I thought the rule was that the more expensive the item, the more generous the cut and lower the size number.

My opposing counsel is an anal vibrator.


That implies a general lack of uselessness. Did you intend to be so generous?

@Tommmcatt Loves The Giant Floating Head: He’s shaking with rage most of the time. When I got back from court today and saw Nojo’s post, I thought: Yes! There is a use in the world for this guy! He can climb right up his client’s fat ass!

@Dodgerblue: Some of my best friends are anal vibrators…

@SanFranLefty: Not necessarily. Ralph Lauren runs large but Calvin Klein runs small.

@TJ/ Jamie Sommers /TJ: Hmm. Since I’m so poor in student loan debt for life underwater on my mortgage cheap frugal, I consider the Banana to be spending the big bucks. I buy clothes about twice a year, and that’s normally at Target or REI when Mr. SFL begs me to buy something to replace the black shirts that I’m wearing on a daily basis. That said, if it weren’t for the Filene’s Basement on Connecticut Avenue and L Street N.W. in DC that I hit every time I’m there, I wouldn’t own a single pants suit, and they are all 85%-off discounted Calvin Klein numbers. But I never noticed those ran small.

@Dodgerblue: You say anal vibrator like it’s a bad thing. If you’re talking about the dude whose photo was in the paper today, he looked like he had a stick up his ass.

i LOVE filenes ! even when i wasn’t poor, i sure loved not paying the other 85%. yes, i’m house poor. we have enough to eat while we stand on the balconies and marvel at nature.
my best filene’s…a 2, 500. gautier gown for 179.—and i wore it twice.
i want to go back and give them more money.

lefty, i’m on the wrong thread, but your posts are terrific!

@TJ/ Jamie Sommers /TJ:
yeah, what’s with the sizes? shoes too. i’m a 71/2 to an 9 depending on the shoe. what IS that?
i know what it is. next up, foot binding.

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