A Child’s Garden of Teabaggers

Thanks a lot nojo, now my brain’s bleeding.

That bitch better learn the English, or I’ll deport her myself.

I like the Did’nt Sign.

My favorite is the one that got megalomaniacal narcissist right, but messed up rougue rouge rogue.

I liked Scholiast for socialist.

Sassy Gay Friend Saves Desdemona

“This is America and our only laneguage is English!”

“Thank you 7OX News 7or keeping us infromed!”

Oh, mercy!

I mean it. Mercy! Please!

@Pedonator:

Imagine how their minds would simply blow to pieces if they realized that English was invented by filthy furriners!

@Original Andrew: And they weren’t even Christian at the time!

It would only be better if the reverse said “Secure our boarder.”

@mellbell: I spoke too soon.

@flippin eck:
Is the Village of Crestwood a Chicago suburb?

Only the English can really speak English. That’s why they call it English. Everyone else is from Barcelona.

@Original Andrew: Appalled but funny.

@Benedick: No, English is America’s offical language.

/and can we discuss WTF this person is wearing?
/and can we discuss if this person is a he or a she?

ADD: Speaking of Teabagger Fashion…

@SanFranLefty: Guy has a Popeye fantasy thing going.

@SanFranLefty: It’s a she. You can tell by the dark lipstick wimmin of her advanced age wear, as well as the shirt she sewed using fabric you can only purchase at Wal*Mart, select Jo*Ann’s and any other store that uses a puckered asshole in its name.

Check out the partially obscured sign in the back. It kinda looks like it says “Texas: Not a Mexican colony.” If so, I guess someone needs to repeat 7th grade Texas History class.

@TJ/ Jamie Sommers /TJ: That picture just screamed the headline “I’m from Texas, and I vote scrapbook!“

Amensty Amnasty

The Teabonic Plague

“Oh stewardess! I speak Teabonics.”

@Dodgerblue: At least he bothered to learn two words of Mexican, preparing to communicate with his once and future allien overlords.

@Original Andrew: Learn to read and spell with Teabonics!

The overpriced Rosetta Stone program is already in the works.

I’m still waiting for a “Cuntry First” sign.

@Pedonator: Is the Rosetta Stone thing any good?

@SanFranLefty: I’m surprised “Cuntry First” hasn’t been snatched up as the name for an aspiring patriotic cowboy-punk band.

@Benedick: Don’t know, I’m one who likes to learn in class. Can’t stay focused on anything coming from a machine long enough to really larn anythin’.

It’s all about the Teacher. Yes, I had some of my best history lessons from a teacher who also happened to be the high school ‘rasslin’ coach.

And I’m withholding Derek Scott’s phone number until I’ve been rendered certain…favors.

@Benedick: That said, Mr. Pedo plans to buy Rosetta’s Italian offering. Will report if he follows through.

@Pedonator: Because he’s a Sandy Eggo farm boy who only has one chance with the Italian supermodel?

@SanFranLefty: Advertissments never lie.

@SanFranLefty: Geographically it’s a burb of Chicago, but culturally it’s well into Bumblefuckistan territory, obvs.

@SanFranLefty: “Shut up and fuck.”

@nojo: I learned that one in my first Spanish class, because I insisted it was a more practical and useful phrase than, for instance, “¿Dónde está la estación?” or “Sí, quisiera la crema con mi café, Sr. Valdez. Gracias.”

@Pedonator: “Callate y chingame” is up there with the most important phrases to survive in Spanish-speaking countries, which of course are “Quisiera agua embotellada, por favor” and “Necesito la penecilina ahorita”

/too lazy to find the accent marks on my laptop keyboard

@Pedonator & @SanFranLefty:

Callate y chingame

And the best part is that it’s always an appropriate response to ¿Qué tal?

Español hecho fácil.

@Original Andrew: Not to mention an appropriate response to “Buenos días”, especialmente when accompanied by madera de la mañana.

@Pedonator:

¿Se dice “madera de la mañana,” en serio?

@Original Andrew: No, I don’t really know what they call it, I’ll have to ask Mr. Pedo about that. I can’t believe we haven’t discussed this.

You’re just like some couple’s counselor from outer space, did you know that?

@Pedonator:

Hables la lengua de amor.

Hasta mañana, amigo.

If you got the dinero, I got my Camero.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_-4opbcLwk4

We’ll buy some cerveza and drive up the mesa . . .

@Original Andrew: lena seca del almanacer (I actually don’t know…and can’t find the accents or “enje” key on my laptop).

I was taught early on in biscuit-hood to not use certain words in one country just because they meant something else in another. “Coche” is commonly used for “car” in Mexico, but it’s one of many forms of “pig” in Central America. Similarly, “coger” is “to catch” in Mexico, but explicitly not so in C.A.

Do not, under any circumstances, tell someone to “coger un coche” in Guatemala.

@ナビスコ:
the word in hebrew for pants, trousers, is very very close to the word sunglasses. remember when i was photographing everyone in israel and asking them to remove their pants? oops.

Patriot Alert! Patriot Alert! Mexican Helicopter Spotted in Texas Airspace!

‘Baggers get your guns!

@Pedonator: I’ll trade you Barbra Streisand’s private line.

@Benedick: Sorry, not a fan (I know, go ahead and revoke my homo card). Try again.

@Pedonator: Damn.

Thing is Coach Scott sounds kind of perfect for something I’m working on and I feel pretty certain he’d want to hear from me. There would be some nudity involved but it would be very tastefully handled and only when necessary to further my the plot.

The “Sactity” of marriage? Does this mean the male of the house must dip his scrotum into every beverage the wife drinks?

Or is it just Tea-bagging has a sick, sick, sick, fascination for me when applied to Southern snake handling Xtians?

Did I got there?