So many sailors, so little time: “Massa climbed up on the top of his bunk, which is hard to do — you never crawl up on somebody else’s bunk. He wakes up to Massa undoing his pants trying to snorkel him.” [Atlantic]


Funny. It doesn’t say what the dude did after Massa sucked him off. He probs never called.

A college friend of mine who was the biggest flaming theatre-major queen I ever met has been in the Navy for 12 years now.

That’s how I learned the Navy’s motto: Find ’em, Feel ’em, Fuck ’em & Forget ’em.

(Totally kidding: According to my friend, the first rule of Snorkel Club is that you never, ever, ever get busy with your shipmates–that’s why the FSM created pizza delivery boys.)

@Tommmcatt Say Relax:


Add ALW to the “Attack of the Cat People” list of plastic surgery disasters.

@Original Andrew:

I can’t look at that face, it gives me hysterical blindness for hours.

@nojo: But there are so many differing definitions on Urban Dictionary, (also dependent upon spelling of snorkel v. snorkle), that I can’t figure out which meaning the guy meant.

@Original Andrew: Massa’s choice of military service was sealed when he heard the promise of rum, sodomy, and the lash.

Entertaining, but I wish he’d been a family values R or D … so much more fun.

@Nabisco: Ah, the Pogues, we got to get together again, man.

@Promnight: Agreed. I intend a long layabout with the family last week of July/first of August…let’s start planning!

Alternatively, we could move the Proms and the Nabiscos out to the RMLs in that period and do the opera/shooting/backwoods thing they do so well.

@Promnight: @Nabisco:

Did you keep a watch for the dead man’s wind?
Did you see the woman with the comb in her hand?
Wailing away on the wall on the strand
As you danced to the Turkish song of the damned!

Not hard to guess, but my favorite line is:

So a lot of times you sleep with your uniform on.

People, need I remind you yet again that if you go around sleeping in uniform, you might as well be asking to get snorkeled?

@blogenfreude: I agree, so much better when the snake-handlers are caught handling snakes.

I’m not one to believe Demrats are any less complicit corrupt than Repugs, but I’m having a hard time, and not in the good sense, trying to calculate the diapers, or fractions thereof.

@Nabisco: We’ll leave y’all witch ya heds spinnin, an not just from martinis.

@blogenfreude: @Pedonator: Wrong template. Despite casual similarities, this isn’t a Diaper Scandal.

Massa should have been a one-day wonder last week — two days, if wingnuts wanted to dump on him as an example of Demrat corruption.

But then they went and adopted him, because he made them think of Nekkid Rahm. Massa was all set to be a Wingnut Hero, and Rush sounded retreat too late.

I really don’t know where this fits. I certainly can’t think of any recent comparison.

Coney Island??!!! WTF? Jack O’Brien???

Mind you, having read the stupefying novel of Phantom I have to admit to a certain grudging respect for the book writer of the ALW panto.

@Tommmcatt Say Relax:
So be easy and free
when you’re drinking with me
I’m a man you don’t meet every day

@nojo: Is Wingnut Hero Jukebox’s cousin? Now I’ve got that stupid ditty stuck in my head…

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