Hell to the Chief

Title: “Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter”

Author: Seth Grahame-Smith

Rank: 28

Blurb: “While Abraham Lincoln is widely lauded for saving a Union and freeing millions of slaves, his valiant fight against the forces of the undead has remained in the shadows for hundreds of years.”

Review: “Forgive me for judging a book by its cover, but this book is ridiculous! Any decent minded American would know that this is an insult to Abe Lincoln and everything he stood for.”

Customers Also Bought: “Stuff Christians Like” by Jonathan Acuff

Footnote: From the author who inspired the Stinque Zombie Bible, a new history book that’s sure to be sourced by Glenn Beck. And while the promo video doesn’t qualify for an Academy Award, that doesn’t stop us from using it as an excuse to mention our Oscar Open Thread/Night of the Locust, firing up at 8 p.m. Eastern.

Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter [Amazon]

Buy or Die [Stinque@Amazon kickback link]

16 Comments

I’m hoping this ends up being something like this married with this.

“NO ONE WILL CATCH TIME LINCOLN! SWORD!”

“How long are your legs, Mr. Lincoln?”

“Just long enough to step over one dead Zed in order to pole-ax another one, ma’am””

no time to google right now but I think I read that Tim Burton was getting involved with the movie version of this. that could be fun

Earl and friends

@Capt Howdy: Reviews of Alice are mixed. Haven’t seen it yet myself.

well
Burtons record is spotty. I love some of his films and hate others. Planet of the Apes was a travesty.
I think the subject matter has to be just right. and I think this could be.

I also expect to like Alice

Of course I haven’t seen the movie but that’s not going to stop me having an opinion. I think that Alice is just about impossible to dramatize because nothing happens. She falls down the rabbit hole, she meets characters, she gets big, then she gets small, stuff happens which is more fun to remember than to actually read, then she wakes up and nothing has changed. She learns nothing, she does nothing, she wanders and stuff happens to her. Of course, this can be fine in fiction which is nothing like as demanding as regards structure. I saw the famous La Gallienne version on stage and it was the same. What generally happens in dramatized versions is that the plot gets pumped up with outrageous design or incident or both but it never quite makes up for the lack of story.

I can admire Alice without ever managing to muster any real affection for it. Perhaps I didn’t read it young enough. And I know it’s hugely influential and such as. But I can’t warm to it. And I find Alice herself quite irritating. It’s not as bad as the unspeakably smug Tristram Shandy but there is some connection between the two which gives me a touch of the shudders.

A friend gave me a copy of the Pride and Prejudice by this same person. Nothing on God’s green earth is going to get me to read it.

Overseas Oscar TJ/ Just finished “Hurt Locker”, Kathryn Bigelow is a lock for Best Director, imo. Got “Invictus” on the pile of To Be Seens, but not gonna get to it tonight.

So, Jeff Bridges for Actor, the woman from “Precious” for Actress (haven’t seen it), Hurt Locker for Director and possibly even picture.

Option 2: Clooney, Bullock, Bigelow for Director, “Up” for picture.

@Nabisco:
You should see Precious. I think its a dark horse for best picture.
I have some personal history with KB that sort of makes me wish she doesnt win for best director but the movie is great.
it deserves to win for best picture. maybe someday we will talk about why that doesnt mean I think she should win for best director.

if anything but Avatar wins for best picture I will be happy.

about Alice. walking around, nothing happening, nothing but atmosphere, perfect for Timma.

@Benedick be Jackpot: Tristram Shandy and Alice, now there’s a connection I’ve never made. Interesting. This is one reason I like to hang out here.

@Dodgerblue: Apparently Alice was shot in 2D, then converted to 3D.

Seems we’re lacking a term for that, something equivalent to “colorized”. So I’m going to say that Alice was depth-charged.

@nojo: Isn’t that a drink where you drop a shot glass of tequila into a beer?

@Benedick be Jackpot: In typical Tim Burton fashion, he’s kept the characters and setting but altered the story (in this case, Alice has aged six or seven years, and is returning to Wonderland after all the events of the books). I’ve no plans to see it in the theater, but will likely Netflix it.

@Capt Howdy: I have some personal history with KB that sort of makes me wish she doesnt win

OMG, are you James Cameron?? I should have known by Titanic that he was into big fish!

@flippin eck:
no thank goodness
she directed one of my film credits. Strange Days.
very interested to see what happens tonight with her.

@Capt Howdy: I think it’s KB’s to lose, but Lee Daniels might surprise everyone and win Best Director. He got some amazing performances out of his actors in Precious. If Mo’Nique doesn’t win for her performance in that movie, I will be pissed (though I really liked Vera Farmiga in Up in the Air).

Opening up the Best Movie category to ten choices makes it more likely that a sleeper could pull it off, though I think it will be Hurt Locker – and I’m with you in the “anything but Avatar” camp, since I’m still annoyed by Titanic winning so many ten years award.

@SanFranLefty: Now that I’ve seen McCain “Avatared” on these pages, I don’t think I can ever see, let alone take seriously, the movie.

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