Own a Piece of Mark Foley!

My neighborhood used to have a consignment store named Big Gay Johnny’s. It didn’t last long.

@TJ/ Jamie Sommers /TJ: Can’t think why.

@Benedick: I’m guessing false advertising.

@TJ/ Jamie Sommers /TJ:

People like you are the reason we need a “rimshot” button on this site.

By the way, as I gracefully become a middle-aged queen, if I mention that I want to open an Antiques store at any given time, come smack me, hard.

I’m a stereotype, sure, but too far is too far.

@Tommmcatt Say Relax: Middle-aged? You? GMAFB.

@Dodgerblue: God bless you, the check is in the mail.

42 is plunging toward ancient for teh gayz. It’s one of the more horrifying side effects of being a despised minority: we internalize hatred and project it on other gays who aren’t in the same demographic (see: hookup sites which feature profiles of “straight acting” men). The only people for whom growing older is a greater crime is straight women- but only barely.

@Dodger: did your daughters teach you that abbreviation? Most impressed.

Update from Paradise: about an hour ago six Honolulu PD officers arrested the guy in the room two over from ours. When we got back from the vodka run at ABC, his female companion was standing by the elevators with four suitcases giving a statement to the po-po as housekeeping cleaned the room. Our theory was homeboy was hanging off the balcony throwing shit down on the pool. Took all my self-control to not ask a cop what happened since four of them were standing around doing nothing.

@SanFranLefty: You seem to attract troublesome neighbors.

@Dodger: Yes I’m a magnet for crazy neighbors, apparently.

@Dodgerblue: GMAFB? Anyone? Something to do with facebook?

BTW. I had no idea Catt was that old.

@Benedick: Give me a fucking break! (No, really, I think that’s what it stands for.)

When I was in High School, we had a Big Gay Al in town, straight out of South Park. He owned a motel, and would let us low-life high school boys hang out and party at his place. Never came on to anyone, I don’t think.

@mellbell: Thought it might be ‘grandpa’ something. Given Catt’s age and all.

@Benedick:

You understand. I’m practically a litch at this point.

@Tommmcatt Say Relax: I don’t know what that means, but I have to say, for an allegedly gay man, that was one hot woman you brought to our Stinque drinque with Cynica.

@mellbell: Its good that we have you, to help us understand the youngs and stuff.

@Tommmcatt Say Relax: Litch? Is that something NSFSs?

@Benedick: I hope its not like “docking.”

@Dodgerblue:

I have an eye for beautiful women. Just not a taste for them.

@Benedick:

You youngsters and your acronyms!

@Tommmcatt Say Relax: I have a few gay male friends who are self-professing “boob men” and have a difficult time maintaining eye contact in the presence of a well-shaped woman. It’s great–I much prefer that to the gays I know who are all ew-icky-girls-are-gross.

@Tommmcatt Say Relax: Its this “texting,” that makes them come up with these acronyms; remember back when we were young, and we used “telegraphese” to reduce the word count when sending telegrams back and forth?

@Prommie:

And young Benedick and his crew are the worst, with their hippity-hop lingo and cronk slang! At least the wireless made you learn spelling!

@flippin eck:

Men are beautiful, but women…women are often exquisite, an adjective I rarely use for men.

@flippin eck: I know, right? It’s almost as though cootie shots didn’t go out of style in third grade.

@mellbell: Cootie shots, what is this? More of your newfangled youth culture? When I was in 3rd grade, there were no cootie shots, it was well known that there was neither prophylaxis nor a cure for cooties. I got them early and bad.

@Tommmcatt Say Relax: The problem is that men are stinky, whereas women, at their most glowing, emit a powerful, seductive aroma, like a fine wine.

@Prommie:

Nah, men aren’t stinky. They emit a compelling, musky scent, like burnt cedar mixed with sandalwood. Trust me on this one.

@Prommie: You’re not meeting the right men.

@Tommmcatt Say Relax: Yo. Sup.

The builders have been here all day erecting my wood. Gonna be something to see once they’re done.

@Benedick:

GET OFF MY LAWN!

@Tommmcatt Say Relax: … like burnt cedar mixed with sandalwood. Mmmm. Old Spice take it away.