Happy Valentine’s Day

Watertiger emails with some last minute gift ideas.

If I ever need a pill to do the deed, shoot me where I stand.


If you ever need a pill to do the dead deed, you’ll be kissing Pfizer’s/Lilly’s/GSK’s ass. Seriously.

If your erection lasts more than four hours, call a comedian.

Real men just duct tape it to their chests until the lady needs the good news. They love the sound of hair being torn out. They know the good news is on the way.

@nojo: If my erection lasts more than four hours, I’m calling everyone I know.

@FlyingChainSaw: Duct tape? I spit on your duct tape! I would use this.

@blogenfreude: Pride goeth before after the fall.

Thanks for the tweet shout-out, Nojo, it made my day!

@blogenfreude: A Gary Shandling joke.

Re the last minute gift ideas, the combination of HGH and Viagra reminds of the last scene in “Young Frankenstein.” Cue Terri Garr!

You know what I did on VD? I went to the shooting range for a single’s event (!) Sort of fits my sentiments about today because sometimes the day makes me want to shoot something (usually heart shaped.)

RML might be proud. I shot 100 pistol rounds (at a range of less than 10 yards) in the 8, 9, 10s except for three in the 7s and one in the 6 using a modified weaver stance. The first instructor gave me shit for using it (she wanted me to use a standard stance), but it’s my preferred shooting stance.

@blogenfreude: Great minds etc.
@ManchuCandidate: Did you see the Korean short-course speed-skating team take itself out of a podium sweep in the last lap last night? How do you say in Korean: “Dude, WTF?”

No need to say anything. If other Koreans do the same as my parents then no words are needed just an extremely dirty look and nasty glare.

@ManchuCandidate: Have you seen the Coens’ “A Serious Man”? The Nasty Glare seems to be on offer.

@ManchuCandidate: “she wanted me to use a standard stance…”

Was she cute? I think she was flirting with you, Manchu.

The two heee-larious queens Fernando and Greg who are the morning DJs on the local ghey radio station are hosting the Bitter Ball tonight for ghey/str8/whatever folks who are not in to Hallmark Holidays of Sap. Mr. SFL and I totally wanted to go but we’re exhausted from Marital/Homeowner Bliss v. Mold weekend battle. (9-1/2 years together for anyone counting – we did the math this morning and were a little freaked out – though nothing compared to the Benedicks, RMLs, DBs, or Prommies).

Oh, and Happy Year of the Tiger to our soon-to-be Chinese overlords.

@SanFranLefty: “standard stance” could mean many things ….

@ManchuCandidate: Sounds fun. I loaded up some 125 gr .357 mag rounds this AM before going skiing. I generally shoot a hundred rounds when I go to the range, usually a mix of .22s to warm up with, and the 9, .38 and .357, both revolvers and autos. I, too, like the modified Weaver stance.

If your range will let you, you should try one hand, one hand/weak hand in addition to standard grip from standing, kneeling, prone, lying on the side and lying on the back. Some days I come back from the outdoor range just completely covered in dirt. When getting ready for the rifle hunting season, I shoot with the scope set at 4x from 100 and 200 yards offhand, sitting, using a tree branch for a rest and prone over a back pack. I use life-size deer targets with highlighted vital areas for that.

Next week is “Gun Inspection” back at the ancestral home, in which the War Chief’s officers make sure our hunting arms are in good working order and that we have plenty of ammo. I may take my WW2 vintage M1903A3 with some handloaded 165 or 180 gr .30-06s this year. We wear traditional dress, moccasins and blankets. About 100-150 men from the Pueblo stand in a huge circle facing inward while the officers make the rounds, sometimes firing a gun they like. Some cats bring home made bows and arrows. It’s pretty cool.

@redmanlaw: The tribal gun inspection gig sounds cool…is that to ensure a well ordered militia, you know, just in case?

I’m curious about this “Weaver” stance. When I did my limited shooting back in West Virginny, they insisted we bend our knees, scoot out the backside, and grip our dominant (shooting) hand with the other kind of like a volleyball bump. I’m guessing that is “standard”?

@Nabisco: Well, the US American Army did bring the artillery to bear upon the adobe walls of the Pueblo church in which the homies had taken refuge back in the unpleasantness of 1847 and we have long memories of our people being shot down screaming and dying on the ground where we hold the inspection . . .

If you were standing straight on with shoulders squared to the target boxer-style that’s pretty much the standard stance. The mod Weaver for a rightie is right foot back, right arm fully extended, supporting left arm slightly bent at the elbow, left foot fwd, torso angled 45 degrees away from target, both eyes open. I tell people it’s easy stance if they’ve ever played tennis.

you will know you have reached a “certain age” when EVERY time you set foot into a doctors office they try to give you a script for the blue boner pills.
no thanks, I say. that is not really a problem I have being practically priapismic. but still I get it every visit.

the other way you can tell if you are a certain age is when you STOP getting email about erectile dysfunction and start getting the ones about portable oxygen and motorized wheel chairs.

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