Illinois in Bleeping Crisis: The Reckoning — LIVE!

Hey kids!  Illinois voted today!  And guess who has two thumbs and lives in Illinois?  This guy!

Sparse running commentary / Open Thread lies beneath.

1912 (Chicago War Time) — So this morning I voted.  And then I rode my bike (8.5 miles) to work.  Last second thing at said workplace had me there until 1810.  As every Chicagoan knows: dry cleaners close at 7:00 p.m.  Not 7:01 or 7:02, but 7:00 p.m.  Bust my ass to get home, pick up dry cleaning, and write this here post.

I say this for two reasons.  One: I now get to tell my grandkids, “in my day, I biked 8.5 miles to work in the snow.  Both ways.”  Two: the rage inside me when I heard when turnout was “extremely low” in Chicago due to — excuse me — a quarter-inch of SNOW??  Christ, the rage was massive.  We have 275 snowfighting trucks and CONTINUING TEAM COVERAGE, and nobody can roll out of bed and vote?  After Blago?  After Stroger?  Bad day to flake out, people.

Downstate turnout, however, was steady.  This could end really badly. 

1923: Chicago Tribune backs up the low-turnout story: its going to be in the “high 20s” per the Chicago Board of Elections.

1926: The possible implications of low turnout?  Well, Todd Stroger — an utterly incompetent, and frankly stupid, Cook County Board President — may have an edge given his electoral machine.  Same with Dorothy Brown, the Cook County Clerk of Court.  Toni Preckwinkle, running on a progressive/reform platform, may be cooked.

1937: While I eat, may I kindly suggest Clout Street — the running blog from the Tribune on the election and other local political stories?

1943: But also: livestream of WGN-TV coverage is here.

1946: Early numbers — neck and neck between David Hoffman and Alexi Giannoulias in the Dem Senate race.  Same with Pat Quinn v Dan Hynes in the Dem Governor race.  Toni Preckwinkle is lapping the field early for the Cook County President’s race (the Dem primary is effectively the whole ballgame, naturally).

2000: Crack reporting / reporting on crack: WGN teevee going on about how red is the favorite color of Dorothy Brown (Cook Co. Pres. candidate).

2003: Looks like Mark Kirk takes the Republican nod for the Senate race, against varied right-wing loons.  Styled as a moderate.  Probably, in context of other Republicans, is.  Yet we’ve seen how moderates like Susan Collins and Olympia Snowe have performed.  My guess is the man is bulletproof in November.  Be worried, people.

2030: Numbers are still at a trickle.  About half in statewide; Chicago’s just about all in.

2042: Latest: Dem Senate, both Governors’ races are tightening.  Toni Preckwinkle has just about locked down the Cook County presidency — praise Jesus.

2051: Terrence O’Brien (on the Cook County water authority board), now running 2nd to Toni Preckwinkle, just conceded.  And so Toni can start measuring the drapes.

2112: So, the Cook County President race is done and dusted.  Mark Kirk is claiming victory in the Republican Senate race at this moment with a very Scott-Brown-like speech.  Now: Republican GOP Governor’s race is a tight four-way race.  Democratic Governor’s race is neck-and-neck.  Democratic Senate — Giannoulias has a slight lead, and getting less slight by the moment.

2138: Look at these GOP Governor numbers (80% in):

Brady  111,406 20.1%  
McKenna  110,185 19.9%  
Dillard  108,648 19.6%  
Ryan  92,028 16.6%  
Andrzejewski  81,891 14.8%  

That’s not an election.  That’s a screwball romantic comedy.  No call in that race tonight.

2144: Dem Senate race is solidifying.  Giannoulias is up four points, with 82% in.  Would take a miracle at this point for Hoffman to pull this off.  And Scott Cohen — in the Dem Lieutenant Governor race — is pulling ahead.  Scott Cohen is a pawn broker.  No.  Really.  A fucking pawn broker.  That just about seals it for November, methinks, for the Republicans.

2147: News from NBC Chicago.  Two Chicago election judges were dismissed during the course of the election for sleeping.  Two more were tossed for being drunk.  One more tossed for racial slurs.  As a former election judge in Wisconsin, I must hang my head in shame.

2150: David Hoffman coming to the mikes now.  Wife (or female staffer — don’t know) is weepy.  So Alexi Giannoulias — come on down!  (And have your lawyer on speed-dial.)

2212: Giannoulias accepting nomination now.  Thanks his family.  Careful, now.

2222: It looks like Kirk Dillard is opening up a slight lead in the GOP Governor’s race.  He’s the one, of course, that cut that ad for Black Eagle.  If there is a ray of sunshine for the Dems, it’s the fact that the teabaggers might not take kindly to that and stay home in November.  Intriguing.

2230: Screw it.  Big trip for work tomorrow — gotta hit the sack.  Read your finer newspapers next month to figure out who won the primaries for Governor, after the recounts and challenges. 

Results page from the Chicago Tribune here, if you have a need.  Love y’all.  Later.

2240: Oh, one last thing.  Denny Hastert’s kid, who was running for his pop’s old seat?  Beaten.  Interesting.  Sort of.  If you really think about it, it looks [ZZZZZZZZZZZZ]


@mellbell: For the Senate: David Hoffman (a) has solid reform cred and (b) no mob ties. Alexi Giannoulias? He botched up the state education savings program, and has mob ties. A Giannoulias win would be BAD NEWS.

Governor — it was six-to-five and pick ’em. Pat Quinn actually proposed raising the income tax. If he wins, he’s toast. Dan Hynes failed to monitor cemetaries (in his purvue don’t you know), which led to the Burr Oaks fraud/outright disaster. If he wins, he’s toast. I went with Quinn, but it’s not looking good for November.

Out here in the hinterlands of the land-o-lincoln, there is no snow (to speak of), no voters, no interest, including myself. Considering it a practice run for 2010, 2012, 2014, 2016……

iPrick: Blago got shitcanned a year ago, and this level of detachment among Prairie Staters? Srsly — this is a lame effort.

Just to pass the time while results come in, can I tell you guys a story? We have a political story here thats so cool. It involves the Syrian Jewish community, buying kidneys in Isreal from Palestinians, a dude who wrote a check for $25 million, yes, $25 million, deposited it at the drive through, then wired $25 million out before the bank figured out it was a bad check (this was the son of the head rabbi of the syrian jewish community), corpulent Chris Christie then taking this schmuck and wiring him to go try to bribe democratic politicians all over the state in a buffoonish sting operation. Then Christie’s Deputy at the US Attorney’s office, who is a comely lass he has been flying all around the world with and staying at Ritz Carltons on the government dime, insisting on announcing the indictments just in time to bolster Christies “corruption-fighting” stats right before the election, oh, and Christie had loaned her $40,000, took a second mortgage on her house, then forgot to mention his interest income on his tax returns. Does this sound fun?

Promnight: No lovechild? Pass, for the moment. Tell me more and I might become intrigued.

Oh, fuck it all, thats all that need be said. The corrupt prosper, the country is divided in a cold civil war between normal human beings and racist fucktards, the economy is complete shit, and this time its not simply a cyclical downturn, its the bust-out bankruptcy the Bush goons perpetrated coming to roost, and this time, its the beginning of the long term decline of the US as an economic power. There will never be a return to the good times, and in all likelihood, where we are at right now, with these little glimmers of hope for a recovery, is actually right exactly where we were in 1931 when Hoover was saying Prosperity is just around the corner, and in fact, we are just beginning another decade or two of even worse pain. And personally, I am having to come to grips with the fact that despite all my supposed talent and promise, am a loser and will never be succesful, as I am getting to the age of being unemployable even in good times.

Anything here I got wrong?

@chicago bureau: The retard who kited a $25 million check, he involved a brooklyn rabbi in a sting to buy a kidney for $100,000, kidney to come from Israel, price $100,000, to be bought from a palestinian? The Rabbi from Brooklyn was a black market organ broker?

Promnight: Money and commerce are the lifeblood of this country. What sinks pols in this country is sexytime and, on occasion, swearing. You know that, right?

(Speaking of which — god damn, Sarah Palin is getting shrill. Rahm Emanuel is a potty-mouth! Gasp! Outrage!!)

@chicago bureau: Palin is a fucking retard. After I read her twitter, “fucking retard” has become my favorite epithet.

@Promnight: Israeli kidneys are kosher, right?

@Promnight: And not a bad band name.

Damn I love Chicago … were it not for NYC, I’d live there. Your politics are even more gangster than ours.

blogenfreude: The pawn-broker on the bottom-half of the gubernatorial ticket for the Dems. After Blagojevich, I thought I had seen everything. I was wrong.

@Nabisco: Ya know, the sordid thing about this story is that there was this kid, supported by this close knit community, and able to get investors from the very wealthy syrian jewish community because his dad is their religious leader. (the Syrian jews control the NY City rag trade, big money people). So he has this real estate empire going, only he was ponzi-ing it, like madoff, a total loser but because of his dad being head rabbi, he had people giving him money, and he is robbing peter to pay paul, until finally, how stupid and desperate is that, seriously, he deposits a fake check for $25 million, and seriously, through the drive through, and he called the bank manager and got him to approve drawing on it before it cleared, and he steals $25 million on a bad check. Wow!

But whats sordid is the US Attorney, running for governor , since elected governor, now takes this 30 year old balding pudgy little jewish guy, shows him the rack and the screws, and enlists him to start on a huge sting operation, and the first thing he does, he gets him to wear a wire and then negotiate the purchase of a kidney, from another major rabbi in this same close-knit community.

Thats just trashy.

Next the US attorney, following Rove’s directions to turn all efforts towards indicting democrats, takes this nebbish and starts sending him with bags of cash into the offices of every democrat in the state, to see if they will take the cash.

I vomit, symblically, now.

Sorry I am late. Work event tonight.

Hoffman needs to run for mayor of Chicago. And I am just happy that Adam Andejewski or whatever the hell his name is (the ‘true conservative’ who Rush and all of the teabaggers and my cousins had a massive boner for) is in a solid 5th place for the Republican Governor nod. I would say he should run as an independent and siphon off the crazee vote, but then it is four more years of a Democrat, which at this point isn’t sounding that great either.

homofascist: Looks like, at the moment, that McKenna is done. His campaign was just obnoxious. Good for him getting beat. Maybe.

Seriously: the GOP gubernatorial race is a big ol’ mess of stupid.

@Promnight: re: ‘“fucking retard” has become my favorite epithet.’… was one of my favorite epithets and the shorthand “fucktard” but it isn’t a really good one for my employment I use “fucking stupid bag of shit” which is slightly less egregious than the other but after thirty years of this stuff they just look at the old prick and shake their head and keep him out of the way as much as possible, which is really great!

@iPrick: Don’t forget “fucking pinhead,” that one is cool, because there is such a thing as a pinhead, but they are so rare they don’t have an advocacy group to publicly shame anyone who uses the term as an insult.

Another great, under-used word is “imbecile;” its great because its so fucking french, and so perfectly applies to the kind of people who hate France.

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