The Pubic Option

Baucus is no Ensign.

As far as sex scandals goes it’s One Diaper, tops.

He does deserve to have a Catheter jammed up his dick and snapped off.

@ManchuCandidate: He does deserve to have a Catheter jammed up his dick and snapped off.

Would that be covered under his OPM-administered health plan?

@Pedonator:
Even the OPM plan couldn’t help him at that point.

@ManchuCandidate: He’d probably have to get a peenectomy — surely they’d help out with that?

@Pedonator:
As someone who had to endure having metal objects jammed up his peen and wear a catheter two weeks ago, having Public Insurance is very little comfort at all.

@ManchuCandidate: Oh God, that’s right. Hope everything came out all right in the end.

@ManchuCandidate: I’m still stunned at the length of the tube. It just keeps going in, and in, and in…

@Benedick:
Still waiting for the results, but it all works…

@nojo:
In one of those unpleasant coincidences, the automatic blood pressure device measured my BP at the same time the catheter was going in as I was lying in post op.

BP coming out of surgery was 125/82. What the machine measured during catheter insertion was a mere 156/101.

@ManchuCandidate: Democratic sex scandals are all so boring. But maybe something juicy will come out and he’ll have to step down and Governor Schweitzer can replace him with a real Democrat.

@ManchuCandidate: Of tangential interest, if you can find a pulse at the wrist, the body has at least 80 systolic. 90 at the carotid, 70 down on the ankle. I actually can’t remember what it is at the pelvis, which means I’m not the guy to save you either on the battlefield or in the future US America’s OPM National Health Scare Wards.

Glad all the plumbing is in order, hope the results are fine.

@ManchuCandidate: Sorry I’d forgotten about your ordeal. I don’t want nothing shoved up my peen, and I sincerely respect your survival instinct for enduring the probes. I do hope it all works out.

I don’t want to know what rot festers inside me until I simply can’t deal with the pain. Which means I’m probably selecting myself out, not that I’m of the breeding persuasion in the first place. Naomi Klein turned me down, so my genes die with me.

@Nabisco: Systolic? Carotid? Who bothers to learn Latin anymore? I’ve been conscientiously avoiding the use of my health insurance, trying to bank credit for a rainy day. My strategy is to avoid the doctor-torturers until I’m unconscious. Then they can do whatever they want with me. Use my body for science, see if I care. I’ll know I have a problem when my heart stops beating.

Ya’ll should exercise your imaginations a bit, to truly see what a wonderful Curse Manchu wished on Baucus. Manchu, I am still feeling for you, Manchu had that tube shoved up their, we all shudder and reach down involuntarily and shield our privates just thinking of it.

Now think, what would happen if it snapped off inside the urethra?

They would have to send something in after it. Something with grippers and claspers, to grab that wayward catheter.

If just the simple little catheter makes our balls retract up into the abdomen, think about a pair of needle-nosed pliers being shoved up their to grab the end of the catheter.

Makes waterboarding sound like a walk in the park.