Tiger Tiger Burning Bright …

And I thought I cut a wide swathe during law school:

Two more—two more!—Tiger Tails came out this morning. Are you sure you didn’t sleep with Tiger Woods? The Tiger Woods Mistress Dossier has been updated. The full list, after the jump.

1. Rachel Uchitel, The Original. Status: Previously talking. Now quiet.
2. Jamie Grubbs, The Tool Academy Alumni. Status: Talking.
3. Kalika Moquin. The One Who Won’t Rat. Status: Quiet.
4. Jamie Jungers, The Fan’s Fiancee. Status: Talking.
5. Cori Rist. The “Butter” Lover. Status: Quiet.
6. Mindy Lawton. The “Rag Doll” Neighbor. Status: Talking.
7. The Unnamed British TV Host. Status: Unknown.
8. The Unnamed Fourth Vegas Vixen. Status: Unknown.

[via: Gawker]


At this point, it might be easier to list who didn’t get a swing on Tiger’s Wood.

The one thing I’ll say for Tiger is that as of this writing, he does appear smart enough (unlike most pro athletes and John Edwards) to wear a condom as none of these ladies have proclaimed he’s her baby-daddy.

Or become a Herpes epidemic like Derek Jeter allegedly is.

I don’t understand the puritanical madness these guys try to portray even when they know what they want: a harem. If he has the money he should just let the women move in and enjoy an easy life of living off of his wealth, pestorking him whenever and, if they can come to some accommodations regarding parental rights, bear the cubs. Why the fuck go to all this effort to live like any wage slave. Go for it, Tiger. Build a palace, fill it with all the women you can service and tell everyone everywhere to fuck themselves.

I hear the Playboy Mansion is for sale.

Or he could move to Utah or Dubai.

@ManchuCandidate: Yes, exactly. And he could live a life befitting someone of his accomplishments.

I think a lot of women would have a problem with the whole harem building thing. Plus his “sponsors” want a squeaky clean image.

Speaking of which, Nike shouldn’t be really upset as it appears Tiger lived up to it’s motto of “Just Do IT.”

That phone messsage from Tiger we heard last week? Robocall.

@ManchuCandidate: Really? They were pestorking him knowing he was married.

Where’s Tommcatt? I need to pitch a new Skins Game format to ABC.

I really don’t understand the psychology of these women whose life ambition is apparently to be starfuckers-slash-reality teevee stars. Why are the starfuckers always cocktail waitresses or party planners? I was a waitress for six years (including at a golf resort that hosts PGA tournaments, ironically enough) and managed to not fuck any celebrities, including the ones I waited on.

On a somewhat related note I don’t think these women should be referred to as a “mistress” – it implies that he provided financial support and there was an ongoing emotional attachment – these seem more like one night stands and/or a “woman in every port” sort of situation.

@ManchuCandidate: Jeter introduced Tiger to Hook-Up #1 after she banged him (Jeter). Sure hope for Elin’s sake that Tiger wrapped up Lil’ Tiger.

@Dodgerblue: Glad he learned something in those three years he was on The Farm.

@SanFranLefty: And yet Jeter’s rep remains unsullied.

@blogenfreude: How is that possible? Jeter is the biggest fucking douchebag. Ask anyone who works in a hotel or restaurant in NYC (or any other city with an American League team).

Problem is that (arc)type tends to have an ability to wrap men around their fingers and use them to advance their “careers” and bank accounts. Tiger being known as a “poon” hound and having a billion dollars is pretty much the equivalent of blood in the water.

I know someone who knew Rachel–I didn’t realize that till she mentioned that to me. From what my friend tells me, it’s 110% Confirmed.

In regards to Jeter? Fawning media types protect him. I have to mute the World Series so I don’t have to hear Tim McCarver verbally masturbate over Derek Jeter.

Hey, true confession here, if someone gave me a billion dollars when I was in my twenties, and hot-tays like this were giving it away to me, I would be accepting it, sorry, guys, I am a nice guy, like to think, like the intellectual life, but, if someone gave me a billion when I was 25, I would have a string like this running, too. But I would also be single.

Now, why is he pretending to be married, while whoring around at an Errol Flynn rate?

Well, think on this, only 15% of his income comes from playing golf. All those championships, all those tournaments he wins, thats 15% of his income. The other 85% comes from the endorsements.

And the endorsement contracts, trust me, all have a morals clause, that says that he earns that 85% of his money only so long as he has an image as an all-amurrican, clean, moral, upstanding US american hero.

I even wonder if he only got married to gain more endorsements, get the endorsements for the chick products, hey, look at all american dad Tiger Woods and his all-american family and 2.3 kids.

Right now, he is renegotiating his prenup, so she will stay with him, for a payment of tens of millions more, so that he can keep the endorsements, no other reason for that, thats the plain truth.

As to why there are chicks willing to fuck him, SFL, thats a no-brainer, and I don’t think it has anything to do with gender or feminism, either, its this: If you are so fucking rich, that you can make someone else rich (from their point of view) if they like you and can toss you some crumbs, its not just women, men, too, will bend over for such men. Men, and women, will get on their knees, debase themselves, become flagrant toadies, or star-fuckers, just for a chance to grab the crumbs someone with power and wealth can throw their way.

I’d do the same as you. I’m human and a weak stupid male to boot.

On the other hand, I’m not a terribly greedy person and would be happy making what he makes playing golf and not worry about the sponsors.

I have to add that Tiger does have an Asian mom. The Asian moms I’ve dealt with (including my own) want their sons to be mama’s boys and get upset when they don’t listen to mama especially when they want their sons to get married and have kids not bang women left right and center.

@SanFranLefty: Jeter hasn’t been married, and that forgives everything. Does that cheapen marriage, or being single? Someone should tell me ….

I really thought “Butter” lover was going to be something a lot more “Last Tango in Paris” than a trendy NYC restaurant. How very disappointing.

Speaking of sleaze in the media, here’s an unfortunate pair of headlines regarding the climate summit:

UN says climate finale may have happy ending


Prostitutes Offer Free Climate Summit Sex

Happy ending indeed!

@al2o3cr: Thank you — I’ve been waiting for the Inevitable Summit Hooker Story to turn up.


eroll flynn? ERROL FLYNN???

of all the names you could come up with, eroll was GHEY, my friend.
movie magic!

i know this because i once spent 2 weeks on his former private island near the NE coast of port antonio, jamaica. EVERYbody knew he was gay!!!
he was as straight as rock hudson!

@baked: I have never heard that in my life, ever. I do know, friend-of-friend, of a man who did it with Cary Grant but never Flynn. I also have it on fairly good authority about Nixon and Robozzo but not Flynn.

Breaking news. Sport player cheats on wife. Other women named. Markets plunge. President attempts to calm nation.

@baked: Should I have said Fatty Arbuckle?

@ManchuCandidate: Its an ugly visual, but the audio is hilarious, imagine, that Nixon voice and inflection, “give it to me hard, Bebe.”

I want the image to GO AWAY! Oh sweet zombie Jeebus! It has to STOP!

@Prommie: OMG, WHAT HAVE YOU DONE? I CAN’T UNSEE THIS. Sweet baby jeebus! Oh the humanity!

@ManchuCandidate: Let me see if I can help. Friend once worked with a very proper and very conservative Spaniard who had been Nixon’s butler in Miami. He was very shocked at the way Dick would get all liquored up and get in the pool with Bebe. And then — stuff — would happen. Sort of explains Pat’s face.

So Nixon was a GWI (Gay While Intoxicated)?

“Sock It To Me” has taken on a whole other meaning now.

@ManchuCandidate: According to his gentleman’s gentleman. Doesn’t bear thinking about. That way madness lies.

I always thought Bebe Rabozo was a woman. which is weird I guess.

have you seen Frost/Nixon?
the relationship between him and Jack Brennan is a little odd.
they both seem obsessed with Frosts “effeminate” loafers.

@Capt Howdy: They did their research. I can’t vouch for the loafers as such, but Nixon was very uptight about faggy stuff.

@Capt Howdy: I disliked it intensely. It entirely falsified Nixon by granting him a moment of understanding at the end. There was no such moment. He remained an unregenerate bastard to the end.

lukewarm. I didnt like the guy who played Frost.

oh, but in that moment at the end was when he was gifted with a pair of faggy loafers.

@Capt Howdy: His teeth scare me. As to the loafers: that was the point.

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