The New Holy Trinity

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Step aside Father, Son and Holy ghost. There’s a new Holy Trinity in town and their names are Palin, Bachmann and Prejean:

Glory be to Sarah Palin,

…who by Her mighty power didst break her water
and board a jetliner that her only begotten
campaign prop should be born in God’s own Alaska.
Who didst approve of the bridge to nowhere before she
was against it.


Glory be to Michele Bachmann

…who by Her mighty power
didst change history when it suited her
by claiming that Swine Flu outbreaks
always occur under Democratic presidents
and did then mobilized the insane masses behind her.


Glory be to Carrie Prejean

…who by her smokin’ hot body
didst cast aspersions upon gay people
who just wanted to marry
and who didst deliver upon her
boyfriend by mail a sleazy spank video.

Can I have one final AMEN, brothers and sisters?!

Serolf Divad thinks it’s a victory for women’s rights that the GOP is now being led by three certifiably insane women …for a change.


For those of you who missed it yesterday, here’s A Song for Carrie. “Finger Blast” by Adira Amram.

Props to the director who cut to a wide shot showing her sitting alone at a very big desk.

Stephanie Miller pointed out this morning that Larry’s questions were no more inappropriate than those asked by Hannity.

@redmanlaw: It appears she was trained to say “inappropriate” at the first sign of discomfort. Or maybe her earpiece was getting interference from the implants.

And really: You can’t handle the world-champion softball pitcher?

@nojo: tmz has a story in which ex-bf says carrie was 20 when video shot. expect it on the interwebz by tonight.

@redmanlaw: She’s, um, 22 now.

So: Whatever Very Bad Thing I did yesterday, it was a youthful indiscretion.

And in other CNN news (my, they had a busy day yesterday), John King will be filling the giant gaping asshole in 2010.

@Jamie Sommers: I so miss Richard on Gawker.

For a self-proclaimed Christian, Carrie sure as hell doesn’t know what Jesus would do.

its the only 5 syllable word she has mastered

And Carrie defends her breast implants, saying there’s nothing in the Bible that prohibits getting breast implants.

To say she’s dumber than a box of hammers would be an insult to hammers.

Calm, calm, deep breaths…..

Okay, here’s a picture of Mother Teresa.

And here’s Martin Luther King.

Here’s Oscar Romero.

And finally, here’s Mr. Rogers.

These links have been brought to you by the Committee to Help Tommcatt and Flippin Not Want to Slit Their Wrists Every Time Another “Christian” Fuckwit Makes the News

Recycled from Oct 19, 2009

Inflations 35:24:36, the lord created saline implants and they were good. He said unto thy woman with low self esteem, take these and increase your cup size from A to B to C to D to DD and watch your esteem grow with your chest. Pretend to cover up your personal issues with boobies as long as you don’t appear in porn*

*last line is rather ironic now.

@flippin eck: One of my favorite Mr. Rogers anecdotes: For most of his adult life he weighed 143 pounds, which delighted him because it matched the number of letters in the words “I love you.”

@flippin eck: I am looking right now at a photo of Mother Theresa giving Mrs RML a blessing for her grandmother. It’s from we both covered Mother Theresa’s visit to her mission in Gallup NM, about 13-14 years before Mrs RML and I got together. We didn’t know each other then.

@flippin eck: This dimwit is a fame whore and a hypocrite, but she does far less damage to the image of Christians in my eyes than the Catholic Archdiocese of DC. Girl pretends to be all pure, strikes holier-than-thou pose, gets caught (on camera) with her pants down (literally). Yawn. She’s not directly threatening the poor with the loss of food and shelter. Her sins are venial, especially when compared to the disgrace to everything Jesus stood for that is the aforesaid archbishopric[k].

Who is Richard Lawson?

Here’s a tip for future use: if you intend to storm off a set in the middle of an interview, when the nice sound man comes to wire you, do not let him run the wire under your clothes. If he runs it under your clothes you cannot storm off the set because the wire will snag you in all kinds of uncomfortable ways. You have to tell the sound man to wire you over your clothes. Chaps can tuck it inside jacket. Gals can do other stuff. If the sound man gives you any trouble tell him you don’t talk to crew. That way, when Larry King asks you to describe your mother’s face while she was watching your sex tape you can simply say “I will not be subjected to this harassment”, unclip the mic (remember to do this first), throw the whole mic/wire contraption to your right (or left if you hang that way), then stand, turn and go while demanding that the nearest AD gets your agent on the phone STAT. The whole trick is – planning ahead.

Remember this: it will come in useful some day.

@mellbell: Is it wrong of me to find that creepy? Does it mean I’m a bad person?

P.S. The squirrels are playing racketball on the roof of my study.

@Benedick in mourning: who is the Stinquer most likely to dramatically storm off in a televised interview?

I read somewhere that her ex-bf said he’d never known someone to lie as much as she does. Also said there are multiple clips of her … they can show them at the next RNC.

@Mistress Cynica: I couldn’t agree more. I can’t even process the DC story because it breaks my heart. I need to go eat chocolate and look at pictures of disapproving rabbits

@nojo: No, by lying and saying she was 17, she was preventing its release, making everyone who has a copy believe that its child pron. Very calculated, actually.

@flippin eck: The DC story is a big silly. The diocese said it could no longer be a subcontractor for the government, capiche? You should not want the RC church being a subcontractor for the distribution of social services anyway, it violates separation of church and state. Good riddance. The diocese did not say it would stop distributing its own charity in DC, it said that it would no longer enter into contracts with the DC government as a subcontractor under which it GETS PAID to distribute GOVERNMENT SERVICES. Noone should have to go to the RC church to get any government services anyway.

No need for tears, no need for anger, its an occasion for rejoicing, say “thank you, good.” Seriously.

@redmanlaw: You could be on to something. And let’s not forget noje.

@Benedick in mourning: Are you kidding? I’m a fucking fame whore.


Hm. I was leaning to JNOV or Baked, but Benedick might have something there. Jamie third.

Noje simply blossoms under attention, even negative attention. Havn’t you noticed? /pot calling kettle black


Couldn’t you prove her age? It was sent by cell phone, after all. Wouldn’t there be some kind of timestamp on it somewhere?


@Tommmcatt is hunkered down in the trenches: “I haven’t said anything because I’m enjoying your performance, Mr. O’Reilly. Please continue.”

@Tommmcatt is hunkered down in the trenches: Anything digital can be faked, including timestamps. At a minimum — if the video was sent via cell — I would need to see it still on the phone, with its transmission data intact. And then I would need to feel comfy that it was a new video, not an old one sent at that moment.

But short of irrefutable proof, he said/she said is fun enough.

@Benedick, ‘Catt, SanFranLefty: The standings so far:

MellBell – 2
Baked – 1. 25 (split vote for 2nd)
Jamie – 1
Nojo – .5
JNOV – .25 (split vote for 2nd)

1st = 1 pt
2nd = .5 pt
3rd = .25 pt

I would so dramatically storm off; but only after it was over and they turned the camera off.

@Capt Howdy: So I take it he’s not a practicing Catholic priest.

BTW. Saw Let the right one in last night. The OH will never speak to you and I’m having a hard time forgiving you. Extremely scary and very well done. I didn’t think the story made a whole lot of sense but all done with great style and some amazing effects. I’m still not recovered from the swimming pool. I’d recommend all you cat lovers to see it. Nothing bad happens to cats but you might never look at them in quite the same way again. I’d also recommend you don’t actually watch it with cats. Send them next door to watch Winged Migration.

Oh and T/J: Just saw an update on the gruesome story out of MO re five men, two generations, same family, abusing children over the course of years. While describing the witness the dread phrase ‘memory she had suppressed’ popped out which makes me think it’s bullshit. Anyone else know anything more?


Wait until you get to the part where he describes the sex.

Oh, yes, you read that right. The sex

@mellbell: @SanFranLefty:

Why you would preface your testimony on perjury with a short treatise on your opposition to welfare is beyond me.

The judge must be loving this….


I think he is that dude that contacted the press with a story about smoking crack with Obama before engaging in teh buttsex.

@SanFranLefty: He is a “renowned” and honorable man, who has had many young women, too. And he likes them hot, wet, and tight.

Somehow, its nice to know that Orly’s vah-zheen does not hang like sleave of wizard.

Paragraph (b) on page 14 is pretty hilarious, not to mention rife with grammar and spelling mistakes.

@Tommmcatt is hunkered down in the trenches: What’s the over/under on how long it takes for Orly to end up in prison? And will the Birthers even bother to make a martyr of her?


I like A) on 13:

“Outside of paying attention to the sound of her own voice at length, Orly Taitz has the attention span of a small child….”


Exactly. How long does the court have to put up with her BS before they just lock her up to get her to shut up? Can they even do that?

This is the birther inner circle. the crazy is so thick, you could saw it into blocks and pick them up with tongs, to steal a funny I once heard from soneone. I imagine Ayn Rand’s inner circle was similar. Except I doubt Rand was wet and tight.

@Prommie: “She has no reputation to be tarnished.”

@Tommmcatt is hunkered down in the trenches:

Calif. Welfare & Institutions Code 5150

And it sounds like the renowned Charles Lincoln III can now file a complaint with the State Bar against Orly for fucking up his foreclosure proceeding. That will probably get more traction than anything else.

@Prommie: Are there like perhaps only 50 birthers left in the United States of America, or are they all just in sleeper cells?

@mellbell: Fueding tards bring the drama with their crazy. They all seem to have a strain of Scarlet Ohara, you ever read or listen to a Palinista or a Randian or a follower of the good Doctor Gold Standard whose language didn’t stray into Gone With The Wind Territory on a regular basis?

@rptrcub: I wouldn’t be surprised if ole Wet-n-tight, The Ronowned Mr. Lincoln, and this obscure but funny fellow are all of them.

@Benedick in mourning:
I am glad you liked it. read the book now. MUCH better and MUCH more scary and weird and creepy.

they left out all the creepiest stuff in the film.
and the reason it didnt make a lot of sense is because half the story was left out because there was no way to film it and get shown.

If only Orly Taitz could somehow end up on Judge Judy I would be so happy.

Eeeeeewwwww… Ayn Rand

This is the 2nd time my penis has died.

@redmanlaw: Only if there’s no food on the set. Otherwise, I’m going with JNOV.

OTOH, if we’re talking “most likely to threaten to kick the host’s ass”, I figure I’m right up there with FCS.

@Jamie Sommers: I would nominate you for “Most Likely to Stage a Hair and Fashion Intervention With Aging Male Host,” or you and Cynica…

@Prommie: BTW, I’ve been bursting into laughter all afternoon everytime I think of your comment of “Somehow, its nice to know that Orly’s vah-zheen does not hang like sleave [sic] of wizard.”

@SanFranLefty: To me, the funniest line in Borat. Well, that and almost everything he says.

T/J: I’m about to drive over to UCLA to see McCoy Tyner, who played piano at the Right Hand of God, aka John Coltrane. In lieu of jealousy, buy a Coltrane CD from using the Stinque Linque.

@Dodgerblue: No jealousy. I saw Blakey in Eugene in the ’80s, driving his latest crop of Messengers like they were raw recruits.

@Dodgerblue: That reminds me…

Live music recommendation for Jamie, Nojo, SFL, and any other Phoenix/Sandy Eggo/Ess Eff Stinquers: Thao with the Get Down Stay Down. They are incredible.

@SanFranLefty: “Larry, my sins are petty in comparison with yours. Look at yourself. Shiny red suspenders and a red tie (different shade) with a black shirt? Are you opening an ice cream parlor for the Mob? Jesus, my EYES!!”
I vote for baked as most likely to storm off after screaming every single word you can’t say on TV at ol’ Larr.

@Tommmcatt is hunkered down in the trenches: You are so right about me storming off, the storming back in.

oh yes, i vote for me. i crave an opportunity to let loose every expletive i know at old lar. including the hilarious one from mr. lawson: a triceratops! and i do dramatic vapor fainting as well as huffy flouncing.
i would like JNOV there as back up bodyguard though.

God DAMN I miss hanging around with the kewl kids! This post nearly broke the speed record for (a) change from original thread and (b) number of new sub-threads, including Orly’s va-jayjay, Mellbell and Baked’s neck-and-neck finish on the LKL storm off, and the musical bookends of McCoy Tyner and a Bjork/Pixies mutation. Thanks Mell, they rawk!

@Just Nabisco: Baked should get a special award for using “huffy flouncing” in a sentence.

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