Levi’s Presents Bullwinkle

No. It doesn’t.

I just want you all to think how much they paid the ‘director’ (and who is it? I’ve only done a couple of commercials but the big ones are all done by stars. The first I did was ‘directed’ by the guy who did Ally McBeal, etc, and the second was by Tom Something from SNL. One of the original team. I was dazzling. The ad was never shown. They pay a fortune to people like that. This is likely the work of M Scorcese or someone like. Who ‘directed’ X-Men: The Marketing? I bet you’re looking at a million dollars or more for the ‘director’s’ fee), the cinematographer, etc. To say nothing of the nitwit who thought it up. Looks like it must have taken all of, say, four minutes. Then they hand a great pile of stinking film to the editor and tell him to make something of it that runs 30 secs.

One of my fave auditions was to do the read for an ad for White Diamonds, that Walmart perfume line that used E Taylor (of blessed beauty and all-around fabulosity) as its purported creator. At the time she was so enormous the only way they could put her on film was to hide most of her. So on screen one saw her sunk up to her eyeballs in a pool of water. What was visible of her was covered in large, vulgar sparkly jewelry. And then the copy came over it. I had to be introduced to the ‘writer’ of said copy for a reason I no longer remember. Perhaps my accent: as I remember, she was a Brit of some sort. I then had to sit through a lengthy conversation about whether the copy was ‘poetry’ or merely ‘poetic’. I was, naturally, crying from laughter by the time it came to do a couple of takes. I can only thank Athena that it wasn’t Whitman in the tub with Liz. He’s a writer I’ve tried to admire over the years – it’s all a bit desperately butch for my taste – and this has not helped him rise in my estimeration.

And much as I admire nojo’s handiwork, I think the original – with the pompous read of the Whitman (is it Sam Waterston? And how much was he paid?) – is actually funnier. Whoever it is manages to make the words sound like total schlock. Bravo.

And the other thing I want you all to have in your heads as you watch this is the scene at the agency when it was presented to the client. And all the chit-chat about edginess and demographics and such as. Why should I be the only one to suffer? The ad I did with Michelle Pfeiffer’s husband (who has the most beautiful teeth I’ve ever seen in a human head. They must have cost the earth.) was for American Express and ‘starred’ Seinfeld. I kept wanting to ask both of them, “Why on earth are you doing this shit? You don’t have enough money? You really need more?”

And by the way, I think I made around 5 thousand. And no, I’m not at all bitter. Thank you.

Love it Nojo. Now if you could just loop the hot guys making out it would be perfect.

I sort of like it.
it totally makes me want to rip off my levis and chase some naked youths around a fire.

@Capt Howdy: One of my favorite images is of Bullwinkle wearing his “Wassamatter U” sweatshirt.

@Dodgerblue:
the R&B show was simply the greatest TV show evah.

@Capt Howdy: We named our first child Natasha. On hearing this, people of a certain age would all ask: “So if you have a boy next, will you name him Boris?”

@Dodgerblue:
Or Bullwinkle?

@ManchuCandidate: Wasn’t an issue after all — we had another girl.

@Dodgerblue: Nell?

Srsly, nojo. OUTFUCKINGSTANDING. I salute you.

Put tags like Levis, Pioneers and Whitman on that. TAKE STINQUE VIRAL!

@Benedick: Since you ask…

The Levi’s campaign was produced by Oregon’s own Wieden+Kennedy, best known for pimping Oregon’s own Nike. (Fellow UO j-school grad Dan Wieden coined “Just Do It.”)

And while I lack references, I’m all but certain the pompous Whitman readings are archival — you couldn’t even try to pull that off these days without sounding like Shatner.

@chicago bureau: So tagged. But I fear the idea is more amusing than the execution.

@nojo: Yeah but who directed it? I doubt the voice is archival. It all has to be timed to work with the visuals. Beisdes which, paying for clearances would most likely cost more. And is the pome intact?

The very idea of the spot makes one want to go out in the street and kick small children. Because one day they’ll be running about the woods wearing chinese jeans.

@nojo: No, named after Emma Goldman. And it took.

@Dodgerblue: <3