The Gawker Guide to Mourning

Diana Rigg: NOOOOOO!!!“The last time Olbermann took a sudden, unexplained absence from the show, it turned out to have been a hissy-fit work stoppage after Rachel Maddow booked Ben Affleck… After CityFile reported on the flap, Olbermann blamed the absence on his mother’s death, which had occurred two weeks prior.”

  • Mother: 10 days
  • Mother, slow, painful death, crying for sweet release between moments of morphine-induced coma: 11 days
  • Mother, bus: Weekend
  • Dog, bus: 30 days

  • Headmaster, spell cast by ex-Potions instructor: Sequel
  • Aunt and Uncle, explosion ordered by James Earl Jones: Two sequels, three prequels, cartoon series, Christmas special
  • Arrested Development: Three years
  • Christian Slater’s career: 21 years
  • Baby, death faked to disguise spawn of Satan: Too soon?
  • Gawker Media: Length of VH1 retrospective, minus commercials
Keith Olbermann Will Explain Where In the World He’s Been [Gawker]

I have no clue what this means. I feel like the foreign kid who talks funny.

@Benedick: I’m pretty sure I do know what this means, and I’m surrounded by people with funny accents. Coincidence?

it seems to be a joke of which Olberman is the butt. so Im down with it.

we were talking about the crisis in education the other day. those clever Koreans show us the solution.

Death Bell

@Capt Howdy: Perhaps if they can’t pass the test they have to watch the movie?

@Mistress Cynica: I’m so like duh?


What else is new?

ADD: Okay, that sounded a little mean. Just teasing you, Limey. You know how deep my affection for you runs.

@Tommmcatt is hunkered down in the trenches: You made me cry. I hope you’re happy.

I was really extremely impressed by Hostel. Or at any rate, what I saw of it from behind the sofa. And let’s not forget the Broadway version of Singin’ in the Rain. It took me weeks to get over that.

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