The Gawker Guide to Mourning
“The last time Olbermann took a sudden, unexplained absence from the show, it turned out to have been a hissy-fit work stoppage after Rachel Maddow booked Ben Affleck… After CityFile reported on the flap, Olbermann blamed the absence on his mother’s death, which had occurred two weeks prior.”
- Mother: 10 days
- Mother, slow, painful death, crying for sweet release between moments of morphine-induced coma: 11 days
- Mother, bus: Weekend
- Dog, bus: 30 days
- Headmaster, spell cast by ex-Potions instructor: Sequel
- Aunt and Uncle, explosion ordered by James Earl Jones: Two sequels, three prequels, cartoon series, Christmas special
- Arrested Development: Three years
- Christian Slater’s career: 21 years
- Baby, death faked to disguise spawn of Satan: Too soon?
- Gawker Media: Length of VH1 retrospective, minus commercials
Keith Olbermann Will Explain Where In the World He’s Been [Gawker]
My lost brain cells: Last weekend
I have no clue what this means. I feel like the foreign kid who talks funny.
@Benedick: I’m pretty sure I do know what this means, and I’m surrounded by people with funny accents. Coincidence?
it seems to be a joke of which Olberman is the butt. so Im down with it.
we were talking about the crisis in education the other day. those clever Koreans show us the solution.
@Benedick: Oh good, thought it was just me.
@Capt Howdy: Perhaps if they can’t pass the test they have to watch the movie?
@Mistress Cynica: I’m so like duh?
@Benedick:
What else is new?
ADD: Okay, that sounded a little mean. Just teasing you, Limey. You know how deep my affection for you runs.
Are you a horror fan, my man? AWESOME. Me too.
@Tommmcatt is hunkered down in the trenches:
I am THE horror fan.
counting the minutes until I can see Paranormal Activity
@Tommmcatt is hunkered down in the trenches: You made me cry. I hope you’re happy.
I was really extremely impressed by Hostel. Or at any rate, what I saw of it from behind the sofa. And let’s not forget the Broadway version of Singin’ in the Rain. It took me weeks to get over that.
FLYINGCHAINSAW • TRUMP: MACHINE GUNNING ORPHANAGES AND CONVENTS BY ME IS CONSTITUTIONAL AND SOMETIMES IT MAKES ME ERECT WITHOUT PHARMACEUTICAL ASSISTANCE! Sen. sENEMA has a career ahead of her in giving designer psychedelic enemas to trust-fund…
MANCHUCANDIDATE • TRUMP: MACHINE GUNNING ORPHANAGES AND CONVENTS BY ME IS CONSTITUTIONAL AND SOMETIMES IT MAKES ME ERECT WITHOUT PHARMACEUTICAL ASSISTANCE! @¡Andrew!: She thought three's company. Nope.
¡ANDREW! • TRUMP: MACHINE GUNNING ORPHANAGES AND CONVENTS BY ME IS CONSTITUTIONAL AND SOMETIMES IT MAKES ME ERECT WITHOUT PHARMACEUTICAL ASSISTANCE! Gawd hates SIN, specifically Kyrsten SINema.
¡ANDREW! • TRUMP: MACHINE GUNNING ORPHANAGES AND CONVENTS BY ME IS CONSTITUTIONAL AND SOMETIMES IT MAKES ME ERECT WITHOUT PHARMACEUTICAL ASSISTANCE! So long, Senatard Glitter-trash. I hope she knows how much everyone H8s her :0)
¡ANDREW! • TRUMP: MACHINE GUNNING ORPHANAGES AND CONVENTS BY ME IS CONSTITUTIONAL AND SOMETIMES IT MAKES ME ERECT WITHOUT PHARMACEUTICAL ASSISTANCE! The racist kleptocratic MSM is really gonna have to crank up the bread and circuses now that their…
FLYINGCHAINSAW • TRUMP: MACHINE GUNNING ORPHANAGES AND CONVENTS BY ME IS CONSTITUTIONAL AND SOMETIMES IT MAKES ME ERECT WITHOUT PHARMACEUTICAL ASSISTANCE! @¡Andrew!: Ted Kazinski Sec of Interior Only the DEAD are extreme enough to serve in DONNIE…
¡ANDREW! • TRUMP: MACHINE GUNNING ORPHANAGES AND CONVENTS BY ME IS CONSTITUTIONAL AND SOMETIMES IT MAKES ME ERECT WITHOUT PHARMACEUTICAL ASSISTANCE! @FlyingChainSaw: Department of Health & Human Services: Charles Manson Defense Secretary:…
FLYINGCHAINSAW • TRUMP: MACHINE GUNNING ORPHANAGES AND CONVENTS BY ME IS CONSTITUTIONAL AND SOMETIMES IT MAKES ME ERECT WITHOUT PHARMACEUTICAL ASSISTANCE! @¡Andrew!: Right, the administration's all star line up: Pres: Trump VP: Ted Kaczynski…
FLYINGCHAINSAW • TRUMP: MACHINE GUNNING ORPHANAGES AND CONVENTS BY ME IS CONSTITUTIONAL AND SOMETIMES IT MAKES ME ERECT WITHOUT PHARMACEUTICAL ASSISTANCE! @FlyingChainSaw: Actually, FDLE would be the first to admit it. The state banks on it with 'sue me…
¡ANDREW! • TRUMP: MACHINE GUNNING ORPHANAGES AND CONVENTS BY ME IS CONSTITUTIONAL AND SOMETIMES IT MAKES ME ERECT WITHOUT PHARMACEUTICAL ASSISTANCE! I cannot wait for the Republinazi MAGAt trash to DEMAND that $hitler be allowed to be president…