Crowley the Cop Has Fruit in His Beer has sighted a piece of fruit in the beer being sucked down by Cambridge Cop James Crowley at the White House during his photo op with President Obama, Professor Gates and VP Joe Biden, likely making him persona non grata amongst all real Cambridge cops who drink Black Label, warm, in tall cans, to chase down juice glasses of Jameson’s served neat.

The fruit evidence was revealed in this news reel:

[ Flash video not available. ]

Sgt. Crowley, without his uniform, nursing his fruit-adorned beer appeared subdued, passively sitting while crazy old man and Harvard University lecturer Louis Gates waved his arms and raved on and on, making no move to arrest him or Obama or the clearly shit-faced Biden.

The fruit can be clearly viewed in action between 00:12-00:17 in the video when Crowley lifts and slurps from his glass.

Real beer drinkers can view the horror on this page where the video still-shot clearly shows some kind of fruit, likely lemon or orange.


@JNOV: @Tommmcatt Floats: Stand by, FCS has summoned Nojo to assist.

Does that look like the least comfortable meeting in the world or what. Look at Crowley gesticulate!

Looks like a hefeweizen (sp?), FCS, the Globe says it’s a Blue Moon. Canuck beer. Meanwhile Biden’s sipping Near-Beer, might as well drink piss.

“I don’t think agents get involved in this, do they?” “Yes, we do.”

The Agents are here! RUN!

@Tommmcatt Floats: Oh, I know. Only way I can get Nojo’s attention production-wise is to make the index page implode.

If Biden has any class at all, he’ll challenge Crowley to a belching contest

@SanFranLefty and @FlyingChainSaw: Blue Moon was bought out by Coors, the homophobic corporation.

@SanFranLefty: Yes, it’s fascist beer – and he adulterated it.

@SanFranLefty: Makes no matter, you still do not put a wedge of fruit in your beer. I’ve had some tasty homebrews with fruit in the mix, but no Southie cop worth his salt would put anything other than a shot of whiskey (and a finger to stir it) in his beer glass.

@FlyingChainSaw: Oh, my Precious! My Precious homepage!

WHAT?! Blue Moon and Near Beer?

Ugh. That’s it. By the power vested in me by my Irish grandma, I hereby revoke Biden and Crowley’s McHeritage and sentence them to a lifetime of limey-ness.

I think Obama should kick the shit out of him – but fuck the president is drinking fucking bud light – a beer that is so bad there was a successful class action suit filed in Western Australia by emus when a reviewer referred to it as emu piss.

@Jamie Sommers: Biden is shitfaced most all the time and he tries to cover up by occasionally drinking crappy near beer.

But I’m totally fine with the Jameson’s thing.

@FlyingChainSaw: We were talking about the Biden bros. at work today. Apparently his brother is a virtual clone of Plugz, and quick to cut you in on the insurance racket.

ADD: JoeBi is so obviously self aware, dude can’t go anywhere without getting camera time. He glances over at the cameras at the beginning, and then starts eating peanuts with his left hand in order to keep a clear visual of the table. Barry has that uncomfortably-tall-guy thing going on, first wanting to lean back in his chair then hunching forward to lean in on the conversation.

ADD2: @JNOV: That’s only because Corona has no other taste to it. Mexicans started putting limes in Tecate because otherwise it tastes like shit.

@Nabisco has a Fig Newton for your Feuds: What? Demands payment or he’ll have brother Plugz shut down your business?

Afro-supremacist Nobama seems to be handling this cracker confrontation fairly well, though I’ll lay odds he’s gonna need loads of aspirin later to relieve the severe, racial tensions-induced headache.

@Original Andrew: I was hoping he would rabbit punch Crowley and make him apologize to Gates.

@Nabisco has a Fig Newton for your Feuds:

Bohemia is the sweetest beer of all; no lime required nor desired.

FSM help me, it is deee-licious.

@Original Andrew: I think that big boned Angela Davis lady he married will take care of that tonight, uh huh.

@Original Andrew: palabra, brother.

@Nabisco has a Fig Newton for your Feuds: Pfft. Is Anchor Steam still around? They used to have a great tour and beer tasting. The port was soooo good, and it came in teeny bottles.

Oh, and everybody have a beer for me on Wednesday, cuz it’s my birsday!

@JNOV: Next? Oh lordy that’s right, you and an ex of mine. Leo….

@JNOV: Hehe, for you we make the Caipirinha!

@Original Andrew: Excedrin for Racial Tension Headaches. Endorsed by Queen Latifah!

Meh. The reporters getting tossed is the most interesting part of the video.

Oh and BTW, all I have to do is unfairly arrest a black man and I get to have a effin’ beer with the POTUS & VPOTUS?

Noted for future reference.

It’ll be a citizen’s arrest in my case, but I’m sure it’ll still fly.


Huzzah! JNOV is still alive as of next Wednesday!


Kay Hairspray trying to google out Gov. Goodhair via her campaign site.


ADD: @JNOV: Please to accept my Happy Birthday wishes now as I am senile and bound to forget in a week.

@Jamie Sommers: Love it when people game the meta-tags.
@JNOV: Happy b-day in advance. Love me some Leos!
Blue Moon is usually served with a slice of orange. I like summer wheat beers with a slice of lemon, but then I am a girl.

@Mistress Cynica: Exactly, Crowley should have shown up with his own six pack of tall Black Label cans, shaken, punctured and pounded all six and crushed the empties on his forehead before rubbing his stomach, belching loudly and lifting his leg to loose a catastrophic fart. The union will disown him now for making his appearance as the fruit beer policeman from Cambridge.

@Jamie Sommers: That is freakin awesome. I want to re-gain my right to vote in Texas just to elect KBH for that one!
@JNOV: Agreed. But who fucks with secret service, I mean seriously?

@FlyingChainSaw: Sounds like some kind of flesh-eating fish. And while we’re on the topic of flesh eating, will using profanity in a video screw up its chances of going viral? I have no idea why I’m asking you this, cuss machine, but I want to sample some songs with cussin’.

@Tommmcatt Floats: Heh. Yeah. I’m feeling pretty good these days but not too good for my own good, if you know what I mean.

@Jamie Sommers: The amount of hairspray those two are going to need before any Republican candidate debate is just staggering. The best part is the non-apology of “We had no idea that every day thousands of Texans were searching for those terms.”

@JNOV: Happy early Birthday darling, you can’t be a day over 27! Hope you have something fun planned.

@Nabisco has a Fig Newton for your Feuds: Hey, now! Don’t hold being an awesome Leo against me!

@SanFranLefty: Beer! Sierra Nevada — found a place in Old::e:: City that has it on tap! Doo dee doo de do!

@JNOV: Let’s just say that my Gemini and her Leo weren’t a great mix after three years….


“We had no idea that every day thousands of Texans were searching for those terms.” = “Well, bless your heart. Aren’t you just the sweetest thing?”

@Nabisco has a Fig Newton for your Feuds: I think they (my friends and some relatives) fucked me up with that Leo business. I was told I was full of teh awesome when they did my chart, but I’m still not running the world. Yeah.

I found the song! No cussing!

@Jamie Sommers: +1, sugar.
@JNOV: Leos don’t necessarily run the world; they just think they do. It’s all about the grandiosity. Mr Cyn is a Leo.
(BTW, I’m Pisces, sign of the delusional drunk, so don’t think you’ve got anything on me, crazy-wise.)

So, apparently Crowley hated his fruity flavored beer so much that he’s totally dissing his moment with the Eagle. Please FSM don’t make him the next JoeDa…

@Mistress Cynica: My Leo ex just wanted to run the astral plane. As a Gemini, I was always of two minds about it…

@Nabisco has a Fig Newton for your Feuds: Right. Mr Frootee Beer Policeman is going to shit on the President. Obama and Gates should have just kicked him to death on the White House lawn while they had the chance.

@JNOV: Lime in Corona screams yuppie scum. Corona is rat piss, and its a sin murricans lap it up when there are great mexican beers.

@Nabisco has a Fig Newton for your Feuds: Cops have an ugly little subculture going on, and its poisonous, and its literally, us vs. them, cops, and everyone else, whom they generally refer to as “scumbags,” “mutts,” and on and on. And its combined with this militarization of police work, rampant perjury, Tase anyone who pisses you off, political demonization of any criticism, its ugly, and noone will bring it up, because as you see, even the president, even when commenting on an obviously stupid action by the police, is drawn to this fucking disgraceful position of having to invite this common garbage man to the fucking Whitehouse and make peace, and the fucking asshole doesn’t have the fucking grace to just shut the fuck up and understand that he just got one billion degrees more respect and recognition than he deserves, when he should have been fired for being a power crazy bullying thug, and keeps up the fucking whining, that noone ever should ever criticize a fucking cop, no matter how fucking stupid said cop is. The fucking President, can’t make a negative comment about a fucking shitbag cop, without having to invite this fuck to the Whitehouse and hold a fucking summit, as if he’s a fucking head of state, and publicly try to mollify him, its fucking sick, is what it is, makes my head asplode. Obama should have had some surpise guests join them, Amadou Diallo’s mother, and Byrd, that guy who got dragged to death in Texas, his mother, that would have been interesting.

@Promnight: Cops have an ugly little subculture going on, and its poisonous, and its literally, us vs. them, cops, and everyone else. I’ve made some strategically placed friendships with the state police and corrections, the yin and the yang of That Place where I never want to end up.

@JNOV: It’s an indirect way of inviting you out for a beer, luv.

Skip Gates won for best comment of the evening:

“We hit it off right from the beginning. When he’s not arresting you, Sergeant Crowley is a really likable guy.”

Did you ever see the fucking police memorial for ‘fallen’ cops in DC, on like 11th street. The Shrine to Fallen Police or something, as if these guys are overwhelmed by machine gun fire around the clock. Most cops die of heart attacks in foot chases or choking on donuts in their cop cars. The memorial tries to fortify the canard that cops are engaged in free fire fights 24*7 with anarchists, drug king pins, al qaeda and illegal immigrants and deserving of a memorial like armed services veterans to commemorate their ultimate sacrifice.


@Nabisco has a Fig Newton for your Feuds: I have an ex-brother-in-law, who was a New Jersey State Trooper. The New Jersey State Troopers were among the first police forces to adopt a military model (Storming Norman Schwartzkopf’s father was the dude who implemented this program) and they basically think and act like Marines, swagger and big balls swinging and general assitude, nazi-like military titles (my brother-in-law’s brother was “Commandant” of the police academy, then a Major).

My BIL’s claim to fame was being one of the very first NJ Troopers to be investigated and fired for “brutality,” in the late 60s, when beating up scumbags was considered routine.

Fast forward 35 years, I organized a big family trip to France, we rented canal boats and cruised the Midi, then into the Etang de Thau to Sete. And my then ex-brother in law came, with his new wife, and my sister, and their kids.

At one point, we pull into the little port of a little town, Marseillan, where they make the best french vermouth, by the the way, Noilly Pratt, and there is only one free space to tie up in the port, and we tie up our two boats, and we were all running a 24-7 wine buzz the whole trip, drinking wine they sell from these pumps, exactly like gasoline pumps, down there in Languedoc, and we spill out onto the quay, and we have our wineglasses, because its France, and noone would dare say you cannot drink wine anywhere and everywhere, and lo and behold, here comes the French Police boat. We tied up in the police dock. And now there are 10 French policemen standing around us.

And what do they do? they make apologies at asking us to move, and then find us another open space, and then they help us help us move and tie up, and wish us a happy time.

After this is over, my Brother in law the ex-trooper, he looks at me, and he says, with utmost sincerity, “holy shit, if this was America, they would have had us face down on the pavement and been kicking our heads in. We aren’t free in America, people are free here.” Honest, thats a quote (sorry, RML).

This BIL, by the way, had so totally changed, he is the most raging liberal I know, hated W more than anyone, like me, could only sputter when the subject of W came up.

@JNOV: You don’t put the lime in the beer, do you? I is sorry, seriously, but there is great beer in Mexico, and it needs no lime, everywhere, Mexico has a great beer culture, everyplace has its local brew, and its not like our microbrews, all hoity toity, but its real beer, with flavor, I think its like beer in the US before the 60s when the cartels killed most of the local brews and the big beers, Bud and Miller, started getting waterier and waterier. Corona is, really, one of the worst Mexican beers, its a sad commentary that its better than most of the US mass market beers. So bad, you need a lime in it to stomach it.

I sat on the beach where they filmed the first corona commercial, where the beeper goes off, and the dude flings it out into the ocean. You cannot get Corona there. The local beer is Superior.

Total TJ, but this is like a fucking nuclear explosion in my field (I work for an auto-related trade association). The “Cash for Clunkers” program, a stimulus program with the added byproduct of getting older, fuel inefficient cars off the road, is to be suspended at midnight tonight. It started last Friday and was supposed to go until October 31. It pays a $3,500 or $4,500 cash incentive to people who trade in an older car with an epa rating of less than 18 mpg, if they buy a new vehicle with at least 5 mpg better mileage. The older vehicle has to be scrapped, not resold.

My job the last week has been nothing but assisting in the submission of the voucher applications, the system is complex and has so many anti-fraud documentation requirements that its amazing, and of course it was rushed into existence in less than 30 days and has bugs.

My discussions with dealerships indicated that they all had huge backlogs in submitting applications, like 20 to 1, as far as succesfully completed applications to completed applications, after just days. Yet NHTSA, which administers the program, said that 15% of funds were already allocated to approved applications. By my math, the money was already gone.

Well, the government realized it later today, and they are suspending the program as of midnight.

Here is the good news, I think really good news. The response to this program was overwhelming, 3 months funding gone in 3 days.

There is consumer demand out there, this little stimulus brought people out of the woodwork in droves.

As one congressman said, its been the most stimulative stimulus program of anything done, and its the only one directed straight at the public, to incite public spending, as opposed to mandating government spending.

Tomorrow will be hell day, for me.

@Nabisco has a Fig Newton for your Feuds: I was once sitting in for my boss, the township attorney for my town here, at a town council meeting, but this was long ago. One item on the agenda was increasing the police department budget. several members of the Council told me various stories of the harrassment they had recieved, for opposing the budget increase, traffic tickets, cops parked in front of their house, to pull them over as soon as they pulled out of the driveway. They were afraid of the cops.

@Promnight: Cops used to love me when I was an assistant DA back home because I actually took their DWI and DV cases seriously. Officers used to have me over for dinner and offer me extra ammo when they go their range allotments. To be more precise, it was the state police who liked me. The local goons who were sheriffs’ deputies were a uniform shirt away from the solid waste guys. Those guys didn’t give a shit. I could never reach those assholes for trial prep.

As for intimidation of city counselors, it’s happening now to the guy from my district.

@Promnight: Yes, I smacked the lime into the bottle and danced my way through the gas lamp district, while drinking my Corona. Drank a 40 (ish) of Corona on the law school graduation booze cruise, thought I was invisible (not really) and became the stealth ass grabber on the dance floor.

I have a new video. Want first dibs?

@Nabisco has a Fig Newton for your Feuds: Heh. I keep reading: Nabeesko has a fig leaf for his fud.

You put a lime in Corona because you can’t fucking drink it otherwise. I’m disappointed by everyone’s beer choice; Crowley’s is the least offensive of all, and Blue Moon is not horrible, even with the orange. Red Stripe is merely okay, and Bud Light is trucker piss. From a dry drunk prez to one with shitty taste in beer. Jesus, Barry.

If you’re gonna drink a relatively mass-marketed hefeweizen, Widmer is ten times better.

As someone who lives in a country where GROWN MEN put peach syrup in their half-pint girly beers, having an actual piece of fruit looks positively macho.

Also, are they sitting at Obama’s daughters’ playset? Those chairs are so low to the ground! Obama’s not THAT tall.

Actually, how awesome and fucked up would it be if they were in fact sitting at the daughters’ playset? That’s like something out of Weeds.

@Signal to Noise: Heard Gates ended up going with Sam Adams….wait for it….light. WTF? If you’re gonna sit down to quaff one, maybe two beers in the fucking White House garden, can’t you accept the extra calories you get with an actual beer with actual taste?

@Nabisco has a Fig Newton for your Feuds: Right. Gates should have been arrested. But the cop on the scene abandoned all authority in enforcing decency in beer etiquette by drinking a beer with fruit in it.

@Signal to Noise: Oh, no doubt Barry would’ve preferred a nice hoppy American ale from a good microbrewery or possibly even a tepid British lager to sip in the sunshine, but that would’ve been percieved as way too ee-leete. If he actually enjoys Bud Light, I’ll eat my Dijon-covered hat.

@Nabisco has a Fig Newton for your Feuds:

Mmm. Tecate. Good stuff. And then there is the dark stuff, also nice nice.


Ha I didn’t think about it, those are some low seats. Could it be? Na, the media would have told us, no?

@Nabisco has a Fig Newton for your Feuds: Sam Adams Light is a waste of hops, but at least it resembles beer. Most light beers don’t.

@flippin eck: frankly, if it has to be a mass-produced, easily available brand for the POTUS — I’d have gone with Sam Adams myself. At least he went against Coors, the Colorado Kool-Aid (fascist piss-water.)

@JNOV: your stomach is made of tougher stuff than mine is these days. I used to be able to deal with Corona, but life’s too damn short.

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