Bravely Ran Away Away

Corrected Speech:

Now, people who know me, and they know how much I love getting free shit, some still are choosing not to hear why I made the decision to chart a new course to advance myself. And it should be so obvious to you. (indicating heckler) It is because I love money this much, sir (at heckler) that I feel it is my duty to avoid the unproductive, typical, politics as usual, lame duck session in one’s last year in office. How does that benefit you? No, with this decision now, I will be able to fight even harder for my family, for what is right for my bank account, for fantasy. And I have ALWAYS felt like you need a title to do that.

ETA: It’s Holy Grail day at Stinque?

Note to Chainsaw: This is why I couldn’t take notes yesterday. She flits like a mosquito on the English language.

@nojo: Talibunny is so fucked.

@ManchuCandidate:

When danger reared its ugly head
She bravely turned her tail and fled

Hard to avoid, really.

OJ did find the real killer, who is in jail now.

She obvs thrives on attention. She’s like that noncorporeal being on a Star Trek episode that thrived on hatred. Maybe ignoring her will starve her and she’ll move on to another planet.

I have just successfully scared the girls away.

On another male-oriented note, total TJ: A man had a taser put into his butt by the cops and was threatened with a vasectomy via a gazillion volts.

@nojo: She nearly fought the Vicious Chicken of Bristol, the site of the near-battle is the source for her knocked-up unwed slut daughter’s name.

Fun fact: in Cockney rhyming slang, “bristol” means “titty,” as in “Bristol City – titty.”

So, how about in honor of our brave troops fighting for our liberty, and in honor of this huge flag I have wrapped around me, and in honor of me not aborting this retard here I have in my arms, and Gosh Darnit, in honor of God and Hershey’s Chocolate and Motherhood and Apple Pie, how about you go Fuck Off and Die, Talibunny?

She is Evita.

And not in the good way.

@nojo: And that was a prepared presser, right? The unscripted Palin is even scarier.

@Nabisco: “Prepared” in that she knew it was coming, and may have had some bullet points in mind. (I hesitate to say “outline”, since that implies rational thought.)

But it was not literally scripted. Her flock loves to make fun of Barry’s Teleprompters, after all.

There’s a lot of Reagan in her, in that he had a ton of boilerplate he could draw upon at will. But with decades of public speaking behind him, he was actually able to construct coherent sentences and paragraphs. Twitter seems to be Palin’s medium, since she can barely manage 140 characters, never mind 140 or 1400 words.

Howsabout in honor of not having abortions whether you are 17 or 47, as our soldiers bravely protect our unborn rights, we just contemplate this little bit of Palinese:

“you’re going to see anti-hunting, anti-second amendment circuses from Hollywood and here’s how they do it. They use these delicate, tiny, very talented celebrity starlets, they use Alaska as a fundraising tool for their anti-second amendment causes. Stand strong, and remind them patriots will protect our guaranteed, individual right to bear arms”

She appears to be trying to incite a violent revolution againsty tiny starlets.

I had no idea that the big-boned gals have so much animosity towards the size zeros.

And this is the best the Republican Party can truly offer. I’m still betting she’s got herself a Fox News slot in a few months. Huckabee better watch his back.

Way to go, Sarah. The best way to have a political future in the United States is to make sure you let the press know how much contempt you have for them. You keep at it.

@Prommie: She appears to be trying to incite a violent revolution againsty tiny starlets. I think she’s still pissed she never rose above Miss Puck Bunny ’82.

Speaking of big boned, there is a rather *healthy* looking lass calling me “Lord” and asking me to play, in the upper left. I hope the gals and teh gheyz are getting similarly appropriate adverts.

@Benedick: And without the fashion sense.
@Prommie: Who knew that LiLo and Nicole Richie wanted to take away guns?!
P.S. If Sarah Palin is “big boned” then I am morbidly obese.

@Signal to Noise: Honestly, I’d watch The Sarah Palin Comedy Hour on Fox. I’ve never been a fan of trainwreck reality TV, but for her I’d make an exception.

Democracy depends on you, and that is why, that’s why our troops are willing to die for you. So, how ’bout in honor of the American soldier, ya quit makin’ things up.

I don’t know, but I can’t think of anybody who has leaned on The Troops more, apart from Dubya himself. And Sarah Plain and Dumb’s usage of The Troops is somehow worse — Dubya, for all his faults, actually held the title of Commander-in-Chief, whereas Our Girl Someday was basically CinC of the Alaska National Guard, and only when they are in-state, scrubbing otters or somesuch. Also.

@chicago bureau: J-school fail.

@chicago bureau: “Barack Obama pals around with terrorists.”

It was noted yesterday that her remark best applies to Fox News. The irony is of course lost on her and her flock, but everyone else should save “Quit makin’ things up” for future use.

Passing thought: Even though she’s no longer encumbered by responsibility, those flights south and back are still a bitch. How long before the Palins relocate to Idaho?

@Nabisco: I’m seeing the same ad …

@nojo: Idaho? Still no direct flights to anywhere except Seattle and Portland. They’re going to be in Vegas before winter, mark my words.

blogenfreude: Saw it earlier, but now thankfully has gone away. Blessed be.

DEVELOPING HARD: Per Great Orange Satan diarist: H. Dean subbing for K. Olbermann on Tuesday and Wednesday. Kossacks doing backflips for no conceivable reason.

Yeah. That’s the last straw for me. Keef/Countdown has officially and irrevocably jumped the shark.

@chicago bureau: Keef’s on vacation, and you’re bitching about the subs? If so, Shuster should have sent you away screaming a long time ago.

@nojo: have a drinking game ready. For every wink, drink. For every “you betcha”, chug.

Add your own rules as appropriate.

@chicago bureau: KO spends a shitload of time on vacay, doesn’t he?

Mike Stark chases down some birthers.

nojo: Frankly, when Shuster has been on, I search for beisbol.

Found the TV and got a break – saw the Talibunny press conference in which she argued ‘the press, which sucks, needs to stop lying because guys die so you can be free’ and no one yelled, “Talibunny, fuck you!” This is a variation of the bumper sticker crap that America is free because it is always at war with everyone, everywhere all the time. I’ve seen these broadside passed around and forget the verbiage but it is more than noxious to see the Talibunny, for no purpose other than self-aggrandizement and posing as victim, invoke this spurious crap.

@chicago bureau: A coupla nights with Howard Dean reprising his Politician That Makes Sense schtick is far far better than Shuster.

I don’t know. I just finished reading “The Dark Side” by Jane Mayer, and then someone passed around that clip of Campbell Brown giving Pierce Bush a cablenews rimjob during the height of 9/11 insanity. I’m feeling kind of negative about cable news right now.

@FlyingChainSaw: Think the troops feel doubly honored to be defending the freedom of the mouthbreathers pushing the “birther” agenda? I guess you get to pick and choose the truth that deserves to be defended.

So which ‘Fatal Attraction’ character suits the Talibunny best?

Alex Forrest: [to Dan] Well, what am I supposed to do? You won’t answer my calls, you change your number. I mean, I’m not gonna be ignored, Dan!

Beth Gallagher: [on the phone to Alex] If you ever come near my family
again, I’ll kill you. Do you understand?

I can never post links but everyone should check out Peter Pan Dude’s wedding day and his fairy union with Princess Dorothy aka Tink.

It’s here http://pixyland.org/peterpan/OurWedding1.html

It will brighten your day and take your mind off the collapse of the American Empire. Unless, of course, you view it as a symptom.

@Nabisco: The troops are probably power chucking watching this stuff. They know the GOP will march then into cannon fire, down to the last 18-year old, to score political points with the psychoconservative base.

Hey ya know, in honor of those troops power-chucking to protect our precious freedoms and stuff, waddaya say we all proudly don the title “Cheechako,” for such, apparently, we are. And such.

“And getting up here I say it is the best road trip in America soaring through nature’s finest show. Denali, the great one, soaring under the midnight sun. And then the extremes. In the winter time it’s the frozen road that is competing with the view of ice fogged frigid beauty, the cold though, doesn’t it split the Cheechakos from the Sourdoughs?”

@Prommie: I meant power chucking as in ‘projectile vomiting’.

moeman: Definitely Ms. Forrest. I can see her boiling somebody’s bunny.

Oh, and when you think she’s drowned — BAM!

@Benedick: Link no work.

@Dodgerblue: Link work now.

@nojo: Kisses, darling.

@Dodgerblue: It is a sight of a site. It beggars description and yet somehow makes one nostalgic for a simpler time. Before the widespread use of spandex.

@Benedick:

The Mouse Police should be rounding them up shortly. I’m talking copyright infringement, taking the characters off-model, the works.

I hope they enjoyed their terribly brief honeymoon….BWAHAHAHAHA!!!!!

@Benedick:

And did you check out the pictures of the other “eternal children”? You KNOW there is some sick fetish thing going on there. Man. Not that I want to judge or anything, but….oh, who am I kidding: I live to judge.

Freaky.

ADD: Good lord, the flower girl is, like, 60. There should be a law against anyone doing that over the age of six.

ADD: Not that you’d want any one of those people around a six-year-old.

ADD: The wedding vows were borrowed from Led Zepplin songs! HAHAHA! What, did somebody use up all the Pink Floyd lyrics?

ADD: Did you see the main page? It quotes at the top as follows-

“Unless you become as little Children, you can’t see God’s kingdom.” –Jesus
“All you need is faith and trust… and a little bit of pixie dust!” –Peter Pan

Oh my god, the lameness!

Thank you soooooo much for that, Benedick. You have no idea how much fun that was for me.

@chicago bureau: On the other hand, I’m enjoying Lawrence O’Donnell. A little rough around the edges as host, but he doesn’t come off as the whiny pandering bitch that is David Shuster.

Of course, it’s still like watching a Woody Allen movie with somebody else playing Woody Allen.

@Tommmcatt Floats: Who knew Tinkerbell costumes were available in plus sizes?
I think the acronym for the site of the wedding—the Bay Area Renaissance Faire—sums it all up for me.

@Mistress Cynica:

I missed that. Genius.

Who are these people, anyway? They terrify me almost as much as they amuse me.

@nojo: Oy. Is this guy marrying his mother?

@Tommmcatt Floats: They are the fairy creatures who apparently live in Tampa instead of the bottom of your garden. I especially enjoyed Peter’s costume collection. So much sparkle in one place short-circuits one’s critical faculties and instead makes one reach for the vodka. Hard to say which look suits him best. Liittle Lord Fauntleroy? Baby Blue Boy? Blue Prince?

Re the mouse. OK. I do not want to wake up tomorrow in an alley with no memory or fingerprints so I do not want to cross the mouse or his minions but: Doesn’t the Barrie estate own Peter Pan? Surely mousemaster licensed the characters and story to make that … animated….. feature? Could it he have bought the copyright? Je suis gobsmacked.

@Mistress Cynica: Plus size? Jumbo. Them wings got some serious lift going on.

But I think the pinkie-finger troth plight brings a new dimension to ick.

@Tommmcatt Floats: Loathe as I am to admit it, there’s a better than even chance that at least one of them is a librarian. My profession seems to attract a large number of people for whom “Ren Faire” is a way of life. I know someone who makes chain mail for pete’s sake. Some of them are really nice otherwise, others are just freaks through and through.

@Benedick:

The rights to Peter Pan, the children’s book (and the panto, I believe) were given to Children’s Hospital of London in perpetuity, and Disney made a deal with the hospital when they did the animated film. Those costumes, however, are clearly representations of the animated characters that we created pursuant to that agreement, and as such belong to the Mouse and his army of vicious, soul-less lawyers and accountants, who, incidentally, are kept in chains in a cavern under It’s a Small World in Disneyland.

Since no money was made at this event, I doubt the mouse would actually pursue legal action against these…people…but it is Disney so who can say? Disney did sue a pre-school because they included the holy rodent and his main squeeze in a mural on their wall, forcing them to paint over the non-remunerated blasphemy or face the courts.

You can never tell what will happen with the terrible combine that I work for. The institution has a mind of its own, quite separate from the individual minds that make it up.

@Tommmcatt Floats: Mr Pixy uses the actual Disney drawings of Peter Pan and Tinker Bell on his home page and he accepts donations to support “Pixyland.” I can’t believe the Mouse hasn’t tracked him down and crushed him yet. Some paralegal has really let those internet searches slide.

You people are cruel. Isn’t the mere existence of those photos punishment enough?

“Thee Arrival?” Thee Wedding? um, Thee is an archaic “formal” first person singular pronoun, not a definite article, either current or archaic. It corresponds to the Spanish “Usted,” as opposed to “Tu.” If you are gonna pretend to live in medeival fantasy world, I would think it would make it even more fun to try to be kinda accurate about it. But whatever.

Nevertheless, I would rather live in a world in which 27% of the people are these kind of harmless fairy worshipping gentle souls, than one in which 27% are Palin-worshipping hate filled resentful fucktards.

@Tommmcatt Floats: Children’s Hospital! You’re right. I’d forgotten. I used to walk the 1st pack of dachshunds past the Pan statue in Kensington Gdns. Weren’t the mouse cozzies based on A Rackham? Not that it matters. But hey…

@Mistress Cynica: Oh snap. They are in for a world of hurt. They will take that pixie cap and cram it so far up his ass he might never be able to pull on a pair of cheap polyester tights again.

@Tommmcatt Floats: BTW. Is there any truth to the rumor that Hitchock wanted to make a North By Northwest ish thriller using Disnleyland as the locale but couldn’t get the rights? How cool would that have been? Goofy pulling out a huge butcher’s knife and slicing up nymphets on Space Mountain?

@Promnight: Get no quarrel here about that. Though I fear there is a considerable overlap.

Fuck it, if you want to be all preciously archaic, find a font that includes the archaic letter known as “thorn,” seen in colonial documents as an extended “y”, as in “ye olde tyme” and such. Fuck all, can’t fucking geeks get anything right? I can respect someone who masters Klingon or Esperanto, but just throwing around “thee” as if it means “the” is ridiculous.”

I still want to know what a “cheechako” is, beyond knowing that it is something which the cold seperates from the sourdoughs.

@Promnight: I’m lost on the inside joke of “cheechako”, although I worked with a woman named “Chikako” in Japan, and one could reasonably say it is an esperanto’d “Chicago”.

I’m pissed. Military in Lakawana? That’s nothing. Dick and Addington not only forced legal authorization of torture – and then avoided the Supreme court by pushing through laws that conferred retroactive immunity on all – including policy makers – they filmed it and then – wait for it – ordered it destroyed.

“Sending troops into Lakawana” is nothing compared with the sadistic treatment dished out on people held by our own.

ADD: y’all were right and I was originally wrong; Black Eagle should have released the remaining detention pictures. We need many many many more people to be as sick to their stomach and pissed off as I am.

@nojo: No. There must be mocking.
@Promnight: Second person singular, accusative (or objective) form, e.g., to thee, not to thou.
@Nabisco: And that’s why I’m concentrating on the pixies. I can’t handle anything else, especially in this heat.

@Mistress Cynica: The few remaining case forms in english, they fascinate me.

@Nabisco: Here’s a fun book you might like that I picked up for the road:

http://www.amazon.com/Blank-Spots-Map-Geography-Pentagons/dp/0525951016

@Mistress Cynica: And by the way, also, here is something that interests me, when will the fundies start raging against the names for the days of the week?

Pure norse pagan. “Sun” day, and “Moon” day, okay, they are not so obviously pagan, but Twu, Odin, Thorr, Frieg, and Saturn, all pagan gods.

These people have basically outlawed Halloween parties even here in the liberal northeast, because of their shreiking about the pagan and satanist overtones, how is it that they tolerate the names for the days of the week, five of which are simply transliterations of the names of pagan gods?

I want to start a movement to ban the pagan names for the days of the week, and see if the fundies latch on to it, its just stupid and insane enough to appeal to them.

@Promnight: But they’re *northern European* pagan gods.

Q: So why did the Sarah Palin accent sound cute and non-annoying from the hotel desk clerk tonight?

@Nabisco: I think it has the connotation of “tenderfoot,” a recent arrival who is not trail-hardened. I probably got this from Jack London books.