He Just Did a Girl Named Maria …

¡Chapurcabra!

Really? We went with that? I was thinking (in keeping with yesterday’s Rogers and Hammerstein induced euphoria) perhaps –

How do you solve a problem like Maria?
How do you catch a cloud and pin it down?
How do you find a word that means Maria?
A flibbertijibbet! A will-o’-the wisp! A clown!

Oh, how do you solve a problem like Maria?
How do you hold a moonbeam in your hand?

Which does seem to me to keep the whole ‘I could munch your salad and never get the bits stuck in my teeth, my darling’ idea going. And remember too that it’s sung by a bunch of nuns – which makes the whole thing much funnier.

By the way, this episode has made clear to me that the main diff between Democratzis and Repukes is that we poor liberals actually manage to feel sorry for this poor dumb schmuck. We try to remember that when the shoe was on the other foot he did nothing but bay for blood. Still I can’t help but pity him. A bit. A tiny little bit. But I can still be allowed to laugh, can’t I?

Michael Jackson – dead at 50.

@blogenfreude:

No shit! Really?

http://www.tmz.com/2009/06/25/michael-jackson-dies-death-dead-cardiac-arrest/

@blogenfreude: Well, that certainly will take some heat off of Farrah Fawcett and Mark Sanford.

@blogenfreude: Yay! His kids are free!

@SanFranLefty: And John Ensign …
Remember when Reagan died? One or two famous people died right before, and suddenly it was as if they’d never existed.

I’ll miss the black MJ who did Thriller, not the white lady ish kid touching oxygen sucking freak who replaced him.

It’s not true til Wikipedia sez so.

Only tmz has it and everyone is citing it.

God just needed some angles and called them to be with him.

He outlived Elizabeth Taylor … so soon she’ll be out in public again, as will Lisa Marie. Not going to be pretty.

@redmanlaw: TMZ beat CNN.

NPR still reporting only the hospitalization.

Well, there goes the “I’m younger than Michael Jackson” line. Madonna, don’t fail me now.

@redmanlaw: Which reminds me, has Perez scooped the world on Fidel’s death again lately?

Did he go out in mid-hummer like Nelson Rockefeller?

@nojo: Perez called Fidel a bad name for cats of the gay persuasion and el jefe put a cigar out in his eye.

@ManchuCandidate: From your lips to The Onion’s ear

@redmanlaw: As well he should.

AP just sez “Michael Jackson rushed to hospital.” Is he in Canada?

@Original Andrew: LA Times sez coma.

WAAAAAAAAAAAAAA? This will be Fox News non-stop for over a week. Mark who?

@SanFranLefty: Former People mag correspondent Mrs RML says TMZ usually gets their shit right; accuracy confirmed by SoCal media friend, who says TMZ pays through the nose for info.

She imagines editors on both coasts are tearing up next week’s covers for a very special “Death of the Icons” issue.

@redmanlaw: Anything to get Jon and Kate and their litter of children off the cover of my US Weekly

TJ/ Blogwhoring: http://ifightthedj.blogspot.com/2009/06/email-to-my-mother.html

LAT: Jackson dead.
http://www.latimes.com/

@redmanlaw: That’s why I can’t get on their site – the overload.

To be lost amid the celeb chatter and I think a tad bit more important in the political arena…

http://thehill.com/leading-the-news/bush-administration-leaks-bolstered-rick-renzis-reelection-bid-2009-06-24.html

He’s been on deathwatch for years, but I still can’t believe it.

@redmanlaw: Old news … nothing to see here.

Someone in my office said Cronkite would be the third – I said STFU.

@JNOV sing sin: Link is broken.

@SanFranLefty: Perez’s site was non-responsive (sorry) last time I checked.

Well, back to editing my brief . . . see you guys post-gym, around martini-thirty MDT.

@redmanlaw: Same here, I really need to get cranking on doc review.

@SanFranLefty: The Assembly Line of Justice. We haz it.

I am nonplussed about MJ. He was a certifiable creep, but the man is dead.

As for Not Mrs. Sanford? Potentially an Amanpour-chic thing. Otherwise — fairly marginal. Pass.

@SanFranLefty: Gotta brief to write.

More proof that Mark Sanford just can’t win: MJ didn’t die yesterday. As Sully points out, there goes cable coverage on Iran. Where, BTW, Moussavi is reportedly under house arrest and Neda’s family has been evicted from their home and forbidden to mourn for their daughter.

Protocol requires noting that this is a very sad day for the MJ family.

I am inches away, however, from piling onto his fans without remorse — particularly the ones holding vigil during his trial, to the point of leaving gainful employment. Decorum is holding me back, but only just. Three or four weeping fans outside the medical center, and I may just snap. You have been warned.

Mistress Cynica: OH GOD HELP ME. I forgot about the Cable Nets for a while.

You know who is going to look really awful in respect to all of this? MSNBC. They couldn’t break away from cheap documentaries last weekend, but they are wall-to-wall Mike this weekend. Count on it.

[Shudder.]

@chicago bureau: LA Times said they’re already thick as thieves and in costume outside UCLA Hospital.

Best comment ever on this from Gawker:
-“What were you doing when Michael Jackson died?”
– “Googling Maria Belen Chapur.”

@Mistress Cynica: For realz. Srsly. Abdumadinnerjacket can have the troops kill thousands of young Iranians and nobody will pay attention.

@chicago bureau: Protocol requires noting that this is a very sad day for the MJ family.

You mean the Culkins?

@chicago bureau:

Yeah, this will basically blow every other “news” story out of the water for at least a week.

@nojo:

It may even be important enough to interrupt CNN’s 24-hour Jon & Kate coverage!

nojo: How can you snark at a time like this? Very, very easily. I bow before you and your skill.

@chicago bureau:
What do Michael Jackson and Santa Claus have in common?

@Dodgerblue: Phooey! http://ifightthedj.blogspot.com/

Whoa. Thriller.

Did Vincent Price outlive him?

@JNOV sing sin: First dibs on the Elephant Man skeleton.

CNN: The hospital tried dangling Jackson outside his window to revive him, but efforts failed.

If you wanna be on my blogroll, email me jnovjezebel[at]g mail.

@nojo: I want Bubbles!

@nojo: Pince nez — mouth-to-mouth unsuccessful. (and Ambu Bag)

@chicago bureau: If I remind you about the time he almost dropped his kid off a balcony, would that push you over the edge?

@chicago bureau: Maybe we could get volunteers in LA to drop by the hospital and urinate on his fans. He’d want it that way.

@FlyingChainSaw: Dude. Axel Rose, Cisco and Charles Barkley still move among us.

@blogenfreude: Another lawyer trying to get some work done tonight. (It’s like a virus.) And thus I shall remain on simmer.

SanFranLefty: God — I probably should know the punchline. It isn’t coming to me. I’ll be the straight-man then.

Ahem.

I don’t know, SanFranLefty. What do Michael Jackson and Santa Claus have in common?

@chicago bureau: They both leave children’s rooms with empty sacks.

The Aristocrats!

@JNOV sing sin: Great. Can you make some calls?

@nojo: +1.

@FlyingChainSaw: I know where to park. Before she left us, my Mom was a frequent patient at the UCLA Hospital.

@SanFranLefty: Diet coke went up my nose.

@Dodgerblue: You’re welcome.

First Michael Jackson death joke sent to me by a friend – 12 minutes after the announcment (ahem):

Per Michael’s last request, the paramedics took him to Children’s Hospital.