Holy Underwear!

JNOV again pokes fun at her favorite target:




I’d heard about the magic underwear and the whole bit about Native Americans being a lost tribe of Jews and Eden being located in Missouri (or wherever) but it wasn’t until I started reading up on the origins of the Mormon “Book of Abraham” that I understood just how much of a con artist Joseph Smith really was.

If you want to lose all faith in humanity’s ability to view religion through an objective, scientific lens, then read up on the origins of the Book of Abraham and marvel at the notion that there are still people around who follow Joseph Smith as a prophet.

@Serolf Divad:
The original Battlestar Galactica was a retelling of the Mormon “exodus” minus the lasers and Baltar and no polygamy.

Adama = Joe Smith

Probably the only SF that was loved by Cons. Considering it’s simple take on warfare and poor grasp of logistics, a RWer primer on war.

Stormy TJ: http://teamstormy.com/

“Sure to be an instant classic.” That’s what she said.

@Dodgerblue: Grrr! You mock my Stormy big titty boycott and you mock my Mormon mocking thread by inserting a STORMY link? >:-|

@Serolf Divad:

You think that’s bad, you should take a look at the dude that came up with the Jehovah’s Witness movement. Eesh.

@JNOV: You give me too much credit for scheming. It’s just that I’ve been reading “Bleak House” and I thought a light read about Stormy’s political talents could be entertaining.

@Dodgerblue: Mine is on the way, and I’m pretty sure I donated quickly enough to get one of the autographed ones. Pictures when it arrives.

@Dodgerblue: As a child, I was tortured with Dickens, but I think I’d actually enjoy Bleak House. Having only seen the PBS Masterpiece Theater show (heh, that’s where I get my culture, y’all), and having promptly forgotten the plot (some inheritance tied up in court for a milliondy years and 1st cousins marrying?), I have no idea what that book has to do with Stormy. (How’s THAT for a run-on?)

@JNOV: Dickens is one of my favorites, you haven’t lived until you’ve read Great Expectations, IMHO.

@Also sprach Tommmcatt: Yeah. That was the first one they tortured me with. Mrs. Havsersham. Pfft!

ADD: Wait. Miss Haversham? Meh. Some ole shit like that.

@Serolf Divad: South Park’s treatment of Joseph Smith was historically accurate, and hilarious, its recomended viewing.

The magical spectacles?

The best anecdote in Mormon History involves the Mormon Book of Abraham.. Back in the mid-1800s, travelling carnivals would often display an egyptian mummy. Smith bought a mummy from a travelling carnival, and unwrapped it. Most all mummies have a papyrus copy of the Book of the Dead wrapped in the wrappings.

Smith claimed that this papyrus was a manuscript, a fucking manuscript, written by the very hand of the Jewish Patriarch Abraham, and he claimed he could translate it, and he produced a translation that is now part of the Book of Mormon.

There is even a reproduction of the original papyrus in the Book of Mormon.

The Book of the Dead is a well know document, its been completely translated by egyptologists, and this was just a standard copy, of which there are thousands. But Smith published this spurious, fraudulent translation, and its so obviously, so completely verifiably a completely fraudulent fictional piece of balderdash its beyond belief.

As a result, BYU has one of the biggest egyptology departments of any US University, because for decades their “experts” tried to claim that they could translate hieroglyphics better than anyone else, and Smith’s translation was genuine.

In the end, the official view of the Mormon church, its not publicized, but this is what they say, is “even if Smith thought he was a con artist, he was nevertheless divinely inspired in his writings, in his fraudulent translations, and therefore, they are still the truth, transmitted by God to Smith, even though he thought he was just making it up.”

Wow. The power of denial.

I am so fascinated by the ability of human beings to believe things that are palpably not so. It amazes me. Mormonism, the invisible hand of free market capitalism, the laffer curve, all equally delusional ideas which people believe so passionately. Its amazing to me, completely amazing. Its one of the most curious, strange, fascinating aspects of sociology, of human behavior, that there is; the biggest question of all, to me, how can so many people believe with so much certainty in utter bullshit, verifiable, obvious, bullshit. George W Bush is intelligent, for example.

@Also sprach Tommmcatt: The Jay-Dubs haven’t captured my imagination like the Mormons. For a while I was into Orthodox Judaism with their mikvahs and shomer negiyah and bazillion rabbis. Then I read and watched all I could about Scientology. I’ve moved on to Islam, esp the Alawites, a Syrian sect that says when you die, you can become a star. Those Jay-Dubs and their 144K or whatevs, pfft.

And, if you can get your hands on the old Playboy interview with L Ron’s son, you will NOT be disappointed.

AdBot advertising ProLife checks. For all those checks you write.

@JNOV: I loved the PBS version; that’s what convinced me to read the book.

@JNOV: @Also sprach Tommmcatt: I loathe Dickens. I wanted to kill Little Nell myself. Feel free to revile me, but I can’t read him without thinking “someone get this man an editor.”


Joseph Smith had the misfortune to be cooking up spurious translations of ancient Egyptian documents right about the same time that Egyptologists finally manged to decipher the written language. He figured that since no one could tell you what the papyrus really meant, he could just make up any old shit he wanted.

But even without this occurrence, the fact that anyone bought his translations in the first palce is depressing. Consider that the papyrus in question is just a small fragment of the larger text. It is, I believe, just one single page. And Smith churned out a huge tome, called the “Book of Abraham” from it. Even without knowing Egyptian, it should have been easy to call bullshit on Smith when he insisted that a single hieroglyph translated to multiple pages of text.

This is great! Stinque.com is becoming its own TV channel. Thanks JNOV! Can you do something on polygamy? Do the Mormons do an annual polygamist swimsuit calendar? Could we do one for them?

@Dodgerblue: Superb adaptation of an astonishing book. If you take one of the characters away the plot won’t work. And what a plot it is! Did you see the recent Little Dorritt? Equally good till the final episode which tried to pack too much into too little time. But most of it is brilliant with very attractive perfs by the leads.

@Mistress Cynica: Remember that he wrote serials. They were supposed to be long. And when he’s at the top of his game the scale of the books is part of the pleasure so far as I’m concerned. And his great overarching theme – children paying for the sins of their parents – has genuine grandeur. Besides, who else could write a character who spontaneously combusts and get away with it?

Excellent work on the religion front: if we can call Mormonism religion. Let’s not forget the Mountain Meadows Massacre: the single greatest act of domestic terrorism till the Oklahoma City bombing.

@homo limeyensis: I always felt his writing suffered from his being paid by the word.

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