The Mittbot 3000: 

Barack Obama is still hanging on to the campaign trail. He said that the last thing he thinks about when he goes to sleep at night is keeping America safe. That’s a big difference with Vice President Cheney—when it came to protecting Americans, he never went to sleep.




Say Mitt, how are your five sons doing? You know the ones protecting US America by breeding big chinned Moroni? The ones who are in perfect health and between 25-42. Look big and strong and believers in US America, Fuck Yeah.

Why aren’t real US American boys like your boys not fighting in Afghanistan or Iraqinam?

@ManchuCandidate: I’d breed his sons.

I’m sorry, what was the question?

Dude, come on. He’s napping because he never sleeps at night! The cries of the dead haunt him all night.


Haunt? I think he and his wife dance to those, sweetheart…

TJ: I heard a rumor that JNOV’s video got picked up by Crooks & Liars?

@RomeGirl and @Also sprach Tommmcatt: Vampires sleep during the day, verdad?

@ManchuCandidate: I’m sure Andy Giuliani will be signing right up with the Romney boys. Not sure if HF would breed with Andrew, though.

@SanFranLefty: Lesser blogwhores tremble in my presence.

Prop. 8 decision to be handed down Tuesday at 10 am – SFL will provide live team coverage from the rally outside the State Supreme Court building, if Nojo and I can figure out the logistics of how I can do that given I have a dumb phone.

@SanFranLefty: I’ll have to set my alarm…

No, really. I’m that bad.

But if you can text from the dumb phone, I can play Rewrite on this end.

Doesn’t seem to me like Preznident Unicorn is hanging on to the campaign trail much — at least, not to the lofty rhetoric he used on said campaign trail to get the votes of the radical leftists who incomprehensibly believe the nation should follow a rule of law, not of men.

It’s especially disturbing to me that Obama was a specialist in constitutional law.

Do They have a special clandestine ceremony after the official inaugural, where They strap a tin-foil helmet on him that concentrates the sinister frequencies broadcast deep from the bowels of Langley and persuade the president-du-jour to cooperate with Their dastardly agenda?

@SanFranLefty: I am not optimistic about this, given reports and such. Do you know anything about possibilities of further recourse if they uphold the people’s Moronic mob’s will?

@Pedonator: Teh gheyz are sending around an email poll to see if we should put the “Overturn Prop. 8” ballot initiative on the 2010 or 2012 ballot, so I think they are prepared to lose. I of course voted for 2012 b/c that just means that many more bigots have died, OTOH, by 2010 our state may be a confederacy of counties that no longer has ballot initiatives…

@SanFranLefty: If we finally get the bifurcation of California we’ve been promised for so many years, I will be frantically petitioning my neighborhood to join with the Northern Aggressors.

It vexes me that California, of all places, will have to fight a constitutional amendment while places like Iowa might become our safe havens. Not that I have anything against Iowa. In fact, I’m checking out their immigration policies…

@Pedonator: I think it might be a trifurcation or quadfurcation. Regardless, get your ass to the City and County of Ess Eff. Though San Mateo and Alameda Counties will do in a pinch.

@SanFranLefty: Yeah, I’ve lived in both SF and Alameda Counties before, and would be happy to live there again. San Mateo, not so much. But anyway, it would mean poverty right now, as we bought our place almost at the height of the bubble, and I don’t have my wonderful network of ex-bosses with good job opportunities up there as I do down here.

Anyway, if when I win the lottery I will buy some fertile land north of there, say Sonoma or Mendocino, and retire to the life of a gentleman farmer, as such. With, of course, buff and randy farm-hands to do all the work in exchange for good food, decent shelter, a medical plan, pin money, ample time to hang around pool-side, and the occasional “special favor” from The Boss.

@Pedonator: …buff and randy farm hands

And I forgot to mention the pension plan, scholarships and complimentary security detail of shirtless bandoleer-studded ex-IDF hunks pre-screened by baked.

Because, y’know, I’m a Socialist at heart.

@SanFranLefty: Slacker.

All I can say is that the audiences who packed the Eugene indie theater thought we had found our soul mates.

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