Douchebag of the Day

It’s much easier to mock songs I hate.

Bryan “Canada City’s Male Shame” Adams (Every time you drown, I do it for you.)

Look into my eyes – you will see
Just how mean is me
Search my heart – I have no soul
And when you know me there you’ll wonder no more

Don’t tell me laws not worth breakn’ for
You can’t tell me Islam not worth dyin’ for
You know it’s true
Every time you drown – I do it for you

Look into your mind – you will find
There’s nothin’ there to hide
Take me as I am – waterboard his life
I would give it all – I would sacrifice (your kids)

Don’t tell me it’s not worth fightin’ for
I can’t help it – there’s nothin’ I want more
Ya know it’s true
Every time you drown – I do it for you

There’s no pain – like water
And no other – could give more pain
There’s nowhere – unless you’re there
All the time – all the way

Oh – you can’t tell me it’s not worth tryin’ for
I can’t help it – there’s nothin’ I want more
I would water board you – I’d lie for you
Attach wires to you – ya you’ll die for me

Selection bias, anyone?

It was an obviously biased push-poll, comprised of leading questions and the best they got was 53% support? Bwahahaha!

I also enjoyed the weekend poll where folks were asked whether they believe Pelosi’s account, or the CIA’s. Facts are now determined by plebiscite! What a country!

53%* of respondents reported that they approved of my job stuffing that dead hooker in the storm drain. It’s all good.

* Actually, 50%, but 53% sounds more statistical. I only asked two people, one was the guy helping me, and the other was the cop who suddenly appeared behind us. He didn’t seem too amused by the poll.

Heck, didn’t even need to drag in Pelosi…

On the question of whether such techniques have yielded information that has made the country safer

There’s an answer to that question (never mind the illegality), but polls won’t provide it, and neither will Cheney asserting it. It’s in the archives, case by case.

But heck, 80 percent of Americans think miracles occur, so it must be fact.

One thing that always amazes me — although by now, it shouldn’t — is that if you reverse the circumstances, the answers are clear:

If somebody invades our country, bombs our infrastructure, kills our civilians, and tortures our citizens, what are we going to think about them? How are we going to regard our fellow citizens who take up arms against them?

Not only are the answers clear, the Red Dawn crowd knows them by heart.

@nojo: There’s a remake of “Red Dawn” in the works. Have not heard whether it will also be shot in New Mexico. The original was shot in and around Mrs RML’s hometown.

@redmanlaw: Another fine feature from The Asylum? Will it include a Mega Shark or a Giant Octopus or at least C. Thomas Howell?

@nojo:

Actually, I love it when polls ask respondents to give their opinion about a matter that has an objectively correct answer:

In your opinion, is the country of France in Europe?

…or one that can only reasonably be given by an individual with advanced knowledge of the subject matter:

A poll of 300 food service personnel was asked to give their opinion on whether the poincare conjecture is, in fact, provable. The results were surprising…

@Serolf Divad: Bearing in mind that I flipped pizzas after quitting reporting (and picking peaches), and knew some bright folks in the kitchen. But that was a college town.

On the other hand, I have no opinion on the Poincare conjecture. My boring esoteric expertise is limited to selected passages of Wittgenstein.

@nojo: Twice with the peach picking name check, dude! I guess my equivalent east coast experience was cleaning fabric ducts in a textile factory.

@Nabisco: From News Editor to Peach Picker is part of the legend.

Actually, I don’t remember my outgoing title. But my job was to make sure the paper hit the press on time, since the publisher’s nephew could never make deadline.