Before.

Courtesy of Rotten.com, a list of available names for the next faux-populist protest. We invite you to select a symbol and provide an appropriate issue to match.

Protest Symbol Candidates
Angry Dragon Duct Tape Trick The Landshark The Rose Creeper
Arabian Goggles Dutch Oven The Lorena Bobbit The Rusty Trombone
The Bait N’ Tackle Dutch Treat The Menthol Sandbag
Ballsacking DVDA The Mellon Dive The Screwnicorn
Bear Claw The Electric Chair Monkey Wrench The Seatbelt
Beef Curtain Felching Monroe Transfer Shirley Temple
Beer Dick The Fish Eye The Moped The Shocker
Blumpy Fish-Hook The Mork Shop Vac
The Bronco The Fire Island Moses Shrimping
Brown Bagging It Flaming Amazon The Motorboat Skiing
Brown Necktie Flooding The Cave Muff Teaser Slumpbuster
Brunski The Flying Camel The Mung Snerd Nurgling
The Bullwinkle The Flying Dutchman Mushy Biscuit Snoodling
Butter Face The Fountain
Of You
New Jersey
Meat-Hook
Snowball
The Canine Special Fur Ball New York Style Taco The Snuff
The Carpet Cleaner Gobstopper The Nixon Stranger
The Chili Dog Golden Shower Oyster Stranger
On The Rocks
Chocolate Pizza Greek Pasadena Mudslide Strangers
In The Night
Cleveland Steamer Ham And Cheese Sandwich Pattycake Stingy Nut
Cock-Stuffing Hershey Highway Paying The Rent Sud N’ Fud
Cold Lunch High Dive Peanut Butter And Jelly Sandwich Surfing
The Concoction The Hindenburg Pearl Necklace Swimmer’s Ear
The Compton Gangbang Hogging The Pig Roast 3-Eyed Turtle
Cop’s Delight Hole In One Pink Glove The Tortoise
The Corkscrew Hotdog In A Hallway The Pirate’s Treasure Tossing Salad
Corn Hot Karl Plating Tropical Wind
Couch Bombing Hot Karl Candy Cane The Popcorn Trick Tuna Melt
Coyote Hot Lunch Puerto Rican
Fog Bank
Twisted Sister
Cum Dumpster Hummer Purple Mushroom Vegetarian Hot Lunch
Cum Guzzling Sperm Burping Bitch The Hunter Gatherer Queef Wake Up Call
Daisy Chain The Indian
Cock Burn
The Ram The Walrus
Davey Crockett The Jedi Mind Trick Rear Admiral Western Grip
Dirty Sanchez The Jelly Donut Red Wings Westside Glaze
Dirty Swirly The Juanita Special Bean Dip Resuscitation The Woody Woodpecker
Dog In A Bathtub Kennebunkport Surprise The Roddy Piper The Zombie Mask
Donkey Punch Kick-Fucking The Rodeo  

The Rolodex of Love [Rotten.com]

An Obscene Insult [Power Line, via Sully]

12 Comments

The Dutch Oven: Global Warming

A friend of mine is a health inspector and he once worked in an area that had a restaurant named the Dutch Oven but one time when he arrived to inspect it, the place was temporarily shut down due to a gas leak. I started laughing and could not stop. My friend looked at me if I was insane till in between gasps of air, I had to remind him what a “Dutch Oven” was.

And yes, I know what a real Dutch Oven is and actually own one, but I am an immature 12 year old at times.

Just, please, not the Rusty Trombone. We trombone players don’t get enough respect as it is.

(Does sound like fun, though…)

No salad tossing? I demand a recount!

@homofascist: It’s listed as “Tossing Salad” there.

@SanFranLefty: Damn. I need to be more thorough (for reals).

I am heartened to see that my suggestion of “tossing salad” is being considered for the next protest. That’s where my vote goes, at any rate.

Stinque lunch by the Bay today. Liveblogging possible depending on alcohol and related factors.

I love these things; made up slang is funny. I can’t go to Rotten at work because it is blocked and also because some things I would rather not have to remember having seen, but I am dying to know what some of these are; what could a “Nixon” possibly be, or a “Puerto Rican fog bank?” Or a “Hotdog in a Hallway” or a “Monroe Transfer?”

One of my favorites has always been “The Stranger,” which consists of sitting on your hand until it goes to sleep, then masturbating, creating the impression someone else is doing it, what with the numb hand. But these variations on the stranger, what can these be? (Favorites as in “I think its funny,” not “I do it all the time” [or even ever]).

I like the idea of “daisy chain” across America….one tea bagging protest/salad tossing to another….just like those original patriots!

Personally, I’d love to see good ol’ Rick S. start his own protest movement, so we could have ads featuring a bunch o’ wingnuts saying “I’m Santorum” “I’m Santorum” “I’m Santorum” like in Spartacus. And at rallies they could chant “We’re Santorum and we’re not going to take it any more!”

What the fuck, we should adopt their names and apply them to disgusting and homo-ish sex acts. A “Gingrich” already sounds like a sex act, something like a grumpy munchkin or a blumpkin, and a “dick armey,” whats more ripe than that? A “Joe the plummer” must involve a plunger, and a “Bachman Turn Her Over and Drive” is self-explanatory.

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