OMG I Am Only Two Degrees From Rachel!

This guy used to live in Chicago and I totally did a staged script reading with him. We also sort of made out once, which was very fun. In addition to being really hot he is very smart and apparently fairly heroic.

That is all. Please return to your regularly scheduled lives already in progress.


Give me a minute. This worked in preview.

Nojo is reminding me that I am the #1 loser from the basketball pool and for making fun of CB for his embedding video prowess.

Wait, how do you know when you are winning this pool thingie again?

Thank FSM that I have blood ties to Michigan and alumnus status at UT, or this evening would be going to the dogs. And Minnesota is still upset about losing the North Stars to Dallas, so even that game is close.

Oh, and good on ya, HF. The dude is a looker, far as I can tell.

Funny – the guy Wesley Autrey rescued was a student at the film school where my girlfriend works. I don’t know how many degrees that is, but it’s not homofascist close.

New Mexico Loblows have closed a 14 pt gap to lead by 4 over Notre Dame with 3:13 to go.

homofascist: Don’t worry about the pool. If American takes out Villanova and Gonzaga gets taken out by (good Lord) Akron, I shall be proper fucked.

@chicago bureau: Mrs RML got her Master of Puppets at US American.

U2 in Chicago, Sept 12 I believe, at Soldier Field.

redmanlaw: I’m not wild about Bono et al. And yet, if you are making the trip, I’m sure arrangements with the Edgewater Division of the HFA can be, um, arranged.

SPORT/SPORTS UPDATE: American 55:49 Villanova. And does anyone else think it quite odd that Nova drew a home game in the first two rounds? They were supposed to ship people to neutral sites, for cryin’ out loud.

Miserlou on the PA!

Thanks, CB, but I’ll be making the roadie to PHX. It’ll probably be at Sun Devil stadium. I got a fan club membership today so I can get in on the ticket presale.

redmanlaw: Figured as much — Chicago seems a long way to go for a show. Say hi to Sheriff Joe for me!

@chicago bureau: Bloody Catholics better get on it. Don’t make me look like an idiot, you papists!

@homofascist: Very cute, AND his fabulousness brought up hot boys in the Amazon picks box (Vogue Homme and Arena Homme Plus). Well done.

@Mistress Cynica: Notre Dame scores with 2.2 seconds to go, the Lobos’ three point try rolls out of the rim at the buzzer and they are bumping fists and doing the happy dance from South Bend to the Holy See.

Fuckin Lobos. They never disappoint.

tj/Putting 15 rounds in 4 in groups at 7 m with the new 9mm Glock 19 now after putting 350 rounds through it in a week and a half. Reading an article on proper trigger technique helped.

@chicago bureau: Say, what’s that sound the Chicago wind makes when it passes between your and HF’s ears? El is for Losers!

I’d hit that so hard the Mississippi would run backwards.

@nojo: Humph! I’ll have you know Chicago Bureau and I are sophisticated men of letters who have no need for your lowbrow “sports” and “March Madness”. Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to retire to the drawing room to stimulate myself to a delightful pornographic videotape.

nojo: Oh, look at that. The Christian Brothers Academies pull it out after all. Villanova and Gonzaga — both going away. So there.

@chicago bureau: Anybody who picked Cal to win is smoking crack. And I’m not just saying that as a former denizen of The Farm. I do pick archrivals to win, when they deserve it.

So the current standings in the Stinque poll for those of you not participating are:

JamieSommers & Nabisco – tied for 1st with 12 out of 12 correct
Mellbell, Cynica & SFL – tied for 2nd with 11 out of 12 correct
Manchu, StringBikini, Fupduk, Nojo – tied for 3rd w/ 9 out of 12

I don’t smoke crack, but I was whack to pick the Fucking Bears. BEARS!!!!! BEEEEEAAAARS!!!! Stephen Colbert was right! Bears are evil!

It looks like the Cynica pick the Catholics plan is genius. My flip a coin strategy seems to have fallen to the power of Jeebus Ball.

@ManchuCandidate: If the fucking Mormons hadn’t choked to the fucking Aggies, I would be perfect after Day 1.

Hey, come on. I held my nose when I picked the Aggies (I worked with a couple of Aggies — Is Aggie short for Aggravating because it seems like it. ) because I still resent the mormoni for waking me up on a perfectly lazy Sat morning and their “non” meddling meddling in the Prop 8 mess.

Oh, and Uhklah better beat VCU or I’m fucked. I picked them to beat Duke. Not because I know basketball. I just hate Duke.

@ManchuCandidate: Notre Dame beat New Mexico in the NIT. More ass kicking Cathlicks.

Next time, I’m going to go with the Catholics.

Cynica is geniuz.

Stinkehs, someone say hello to me and tell me I am smart and good looking. My wife has been away on a business trip since Monday and I am alone with an 85 year old and a 9 year old, and I am so lonely, and so please, someone say something to me so I know I exist. Unless maybe I am just imagining you, and all this, thats always a possibility.

Pats Prommie’s head. All will okay.

I just hope you aren’t an alumni of a Catholic University though.

@ManchuCandidate: Thanks, I needed that.

Did you see that Obama “insulted the special olympics” on Leno? People are rending their garments. I am sure someone is planning a “special demonstration.” PC police have donned their riot gear.

I have my Illinois pullover on and am heading to a local bar to watch them lose. I can still finish 4 for 4 in the night session.

@Promnight: I went to my favorite bar last night and while in line for the bathroom was checking out the graffiti on the walls when what should I see but NARWHAL (actually, GNARWHAL, but, you know). Then, later, I saw someone wearing — if you can believe it — an Achewood t-shirt. Needless to say, both things made me think of you.

I think Barry holds himself to a high standard. He knows what he sucks at and he just wanted to say he is retarded at Bowling, but tried to be polite about it.

I’ve called myself retarded and know the subjects that I am retarded at.

A short list (of sorts).
Expressing emotions outside of Lust and Anger
Meeting women (getting better at it.)

@Promnight: Ouch. I’ll withhold judgment until I see it, but that can’t be good.

@Promnight: Have a glass of moderately priced Ozzie wine with me, bud. You watching 30 Rock? I’m getting travel arrangements for the Spring Break roadie with the family together. the Getty, hanging out, a BIG Meetup with DB and T Catt, it’ll be cool.

We Joe Strummers gotta hang together, or we shall hang separately.

Two degrees from Rachel: Mrs RML, Mrs RML’s co-worker –> La Raquelito, or is that three?

@mellbell: As manchu points out, it means nothing to the average retard like me. But there are those enlightened and rarified folks who will be getting the vapors and beating their breasts.

@Promnight: Hey dude – did you and Ewalda finally talk?

@homofascist: I just realized that you already were two degrees from Rachel – Mommy 1.0 interviewed her during the DNC.

@ManchuCandidate: For you it was bears, for me Tigers. Goddam Clemson, I grew up in SC, I knew better than to pick them. They’re a football school (and recently not that) in a basketball conference. And Michigan no doubt has far more RC students.

@Promnight: Hey, at least your significant other is out of town. Mine’s right here, but I won’t exist until the NCAA tournament is over, or Memphis loses.

Jon just almost cried and thanked Bruce for inspiring his career. Wow. Its not just me.

@Promnight: Dude, put everyone to bed and pull yer pud till dawn to internet pron. It’s the right thing to do.

@Ewalda: I would, but I am on an antidepressant.

@Ewalda: I do have to give you accolades, for putting out the most sensible, wise, honest suggestion of anyone.

Women have no idea, do they, that men, when left on their own, generally revert to an adolescent state and start masturbating like monkeys, in between eating dinner out of the fryng pan and hanging out naked.

I use the Lewis Black use of the word (and I suspect that Barry feels the same way.)

I saw him in Toronto a couple of years ago and he called W and his supporters retards and a woman in the audience gasped. Lewis spent five minutes exposing his reasoning. He’s not the type who mock the mentally challenged. They were born that way and can’t help but be that way. They are not retarded. The true retards are those who are “normal” and still don’t get it. Works for me.

@Promnight: They do the same thing, but they wash the frying pan after dinner.

@Ewalda: Actually, we eat dinner straight from the Ben & Jerry’s container and then just throw it away. There is no cooking, and no dish-washing.

Funny thing about “retarded” — it was supposed to be PC in its own day, instead of “moron”.

@Mistress Cynica: @Promnight: The culmination of my years of studying the Vedas. Thank you.

@SanFranLefty: Well, even though there was a lot of drama, I have never actually performed with Mommy 1.0.

@Mistress Cynica:
Comment of the week/month – you just captured every woman in one sentence.

@SanFranLefty: Before I met Mr Cyn, I didn’t have a working oven for over a year. Never missed it.

Suck it bitches! I am not the ultimate loser, I am third from last. Woo hoo! And poor Jamie could have been perfect had I warned her not to pick Illinois. Damn myself!

Did you know that there are over 400,000 student athletes in U.S. America, and almost all of them will be going pro in something other than sport/sports?

Heh. Guess they haven’t got the word that the economy be fucked. Suckers.

@homofascist: You had Western Kentucky? Well done, sir.

@Mistress Cynica: So did I. Illinois had a weak season.

I guess I will have to apologize with much genuflecting to DodgerBlue for picking VCU over Ukklah. My bad. Sorry Dodger.

SanFranLefty: Because I didn’t buy the hype and picked the Passive-Aggressive Illini, and because I did buy the hype and took VCU over UCLA. Oy vey.

You can thank me for getting my CA teams back-assward – I went with Cal and against UCLA, and consequently sink into ignominy below the line. You stand above the line, only because you stand on my shoulders.

@chicago bureau: Compounding the Cynica Catholic/Jesuit approach is my view of head-to-head insecurity complex match ups – when you have School A (i.e. Illinois) that everyone at School B (i.e. W. Ky) secretly would have wanted to go to, you have so much inarticulable rage on the side of School B that they win more often than not. That’s how Stephen F. Austin beats UT or A&M, or how W.K.U. beats Illinois, or CSU-Northridge beats USC more often than not, statistically speaking. The rage doesn’t happen when WKU plays UT or SFA plays USC, it has to be a very local insecurity complex.

@Hose Manikin: I too picked UCLA to sink. Luckily I knew how bad Cal sucks because I think they lost to Stanford at least once. My local neighborhood team of 13 year old San Francisco punks could beat Stanford men this season.

@Mistress Cynica: @SanFranLefty: While I have no doubt there are more Catholics at Illinois than at WKU, this was a no brainer to me (having been an Illinois fan since I was a wee infant). I have a feeling more people across the country picked Illinois to lose than win. WKU made a lot of waves last year, but of course Cynica you as Stinque Champion 2008 surely remember that. I also have them beating Gonzaga, so we shall see.

I also picked VCU over UCLA, just because everytime I checked they had just lost (or Dodger was always complaining about them losing on Facebook). Just two points from being 4-4 for the evening.

Nabisco really should be perfect. His only wrong pick was Duke getting beat by Bridghampton or whatever the fuck that school was.

homofascist: Binghamton. Mr. Bingham invested a lot into putting his name on a town that has no good reason to exist. Show some respect, eh?

[ADD: True story — it’s on Wikipedia so it must be true — “Binghamton was nicknamed the ‘Parlor City’ for its neat streets and attractive homes, including many stately mansions. Strangely enough, many of those stately mansions are now funeral parlors.” But also: AIG has offices there as well. Funeral parlors and AIG? I’m sold!]

Also, to all y’all: I’m definitely with Benedick on this whole sport/sports thing. It makes my brain wobble. I’m glad you’re having fun, but I just feel lost.

@IanJ: The trick of it is that you don’t really need to know anything about basketball. Take tonight’s Illinois/Western Kentucky match-up, for example. Western Kentucky exceeded expectations in last year’s tournament, and so a lot of folks like me figured that they might have some momentum going into this year, or at least enough to take out a higher-seeded team like Illinois. It was a lucky guess, as is any of it.

@IanJ: I just went click-click-click to have some skin in the game. Like most Americans, I have no idea what I voted for.

@mellbell: Much simpler: I’m just tired of the dissonance of “Illinois” and “Illini”. And bourbon makes me swoon.

(Oh yeah, and me and the gals at 15fer16 w00t!!)

@nojo: My favorite of the early words for retard is “imbecile.” Its so French.

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