Douchebag of the Day

Top or bottom?

They both are so lifelike.

Ugly on the inside as well as the outside. Great.

I’m setting aside extra diapers just for the sheer repulsiveness of the inevitable sex scandal forcing us to imagine him doing any kind of perstorking.

I made it through just over 2 minutes and threw up.
Bloggie, you are an evil person for posting this.

Speaking of douchebags, Gov. Good Hair (GOP-Closet) of Texas is turning down the federal stimulus money that would have extended unemployment benefits.

@Ewalda: No, I am an evil person who happened to post that video. Please – I have standards.

“I can deliver….uh….a strong…uh…effective…uh…message.”

I think I was about to have a seizure from the camera focus going in and out. I stopped at 1:45 because that woman’s voice was the Talibunny on helium at about 190 decibels.

Wow. Just.. wow. “Free speech is under attack [under Obama]?” Did someone flip the “Bizarro World” switch while I wasn’t looking?

@Ewalda: @SanFranLefty: I’m impressed. I lasted all of 29 seconds.

@SanFranLefty: I watched the whole thing … it’s part of our culture of service here at Stinque. I will of course be permanently scarred. But it’s the price we pay.

@SanFranLefty: Oh man that poor camera, I wouldn’t want to focus on that dude either. Did no one tell them about adequate lighting? Or making any goddamn sense, for that matter?

@drinkyclown: The camera work and the loser dude were enough to make one queasy, but it was the shrieking idiot conducting the “interview” who finished the job by causing the actual regurgitation.

I do really hope he becomes part of the RNC “team”.

@SanFranLefty: Muckraking journalists are hereby challenged to discover the identity of “Libby Liberal”. That screechy voice might convince that rare red-blooded US American who still has a job and home that life itself is utterly, relentlessly futile.

I suspect it’s a lame attempt to parody one of those interminable, lackluster SNL skits that so often clog the 45m to 1hr time-stamp after Weekend Update.

@Pedonator: Satire requires a brain, darling. Which they clearly lack.

@blogenfreude: I can’t believe I’m saying this, but I think I would have preferred Stormy to these two.

@Ewalda: He’ll be the one all the preppy frat-ass jock-wannabes snap their wet towels at in the “team” locker room. They won’t stop until they make him cry, but later at the club they’ll buy him a drink, toast his team spirit and all-around good-sportsmanship, then elect him as their fearless leader (I hope).

I have to go and lie down. Actually I have to go to bed. Actually I have to hide under the bed.

@blogenfreude: There really should be a non-profit Stinque Fund for Journalistic Post Traumatic Stress Disorder to which we can all contribute in ordure that you and your intrepid colleagues continue the style of blunt, brash investigative journalism we’ve become accustomed. To.

@Pedonator: “ordure” was definitely an appropriate Freudian slip.

Oh, ya’ll are so mean. That poor dufous is just a sad sack of shit (One of my favorite’s among my dad’s expressions[did you know that the comic “Sad Sack” was a play on a common Army expression for a loser, a “sad sack of shit?].

They did indeed think that they were satirizing The View, with the woman’s role. Yes, idiots can attempt satire, they just don’t achieve it.

But that poor man was so sincere. Oh, he broke my heart, I am almost, I am, crying for him. He really beleives that whetever sad shit he did for some school board candidate was important, and he really thinks this little video is a showcase for his genius, and hey, might even bring him to the attention of the GOP, and they might hire him, to use his grass-roots expertise to help get that message out.

No, there is no doubt, this poor person, this is his sincere effort to get a job. He thought he was displaying his commitment to the party, and also, his creativity and his “edgy” snarky humor, with that swipe at The View thrown in. Not only is he one of those insane campaign volunteers, he also thinks he could be the republican Jon Stewart.

And once you realize, that he is so completely unaware of how fucking dumb and talentless, and embarrassing, and unattractive, he is, and that he is really serious here, well, how can you not just be mortified for him, and take just a moment and thank the FSM or Buddha or someone, that you were not born so fucking dimwitted?

I am sorry, but thats just sad. Imagine it, to be so limited intellectually as to bee so unaware? Thats like being born with no legs. He’s just a poor lost soul (my very favorite of my Dad’s expressions.)

Enough with the parentheticals about my Dad. I am going to write a paragraph of tribute to him now, because noone else in the world ever did, or will, but I will, till I die, occasionally post a tribute to him, bore my friends, because, well, he deserves it.

My Dad was a poor city Irish kid, grew up in the depression, his mom died when he was 5, he joined the army in 1939, got out in 1945, worked as a union guy in a refinery, welder, then gave it up for fear of blindness, and then fall down, shuffled from low paying job to low paying job.

The family suffered, 6 kids, we were Poor. We lived in relative’s houses, we rented and moved every year.

He was a bigot and a sexist. Back in the 70s everyone who knew him called him “Archie Bunker,” would goad him to say some offensive thing, and they would laugh at him.

But what he would say for effect in a boisterous talk among friends was so different from what he would say to me. Anytime we ever saw a person in pain, distress, trouble, he would say “oh, the poor soul,” with genuine look of hurt, of compassion, on his face. If we saw a “bum,” a beggar, thats what he would say. If we saw a criminal, someone accused of a crime, on TV, he would say “the poor soul.” He was Catholic, but not religious at all, at all, but the most religious things I ever heard him say were when he would tell us, to remember all the poor souls on earth.

I’ve never really seen any other person who so regularly expressed true, real, non-judgmental compassion for other people.

@Pedonator: On this gig I will work for drinks made w/ Stoly – not necessary to set up a fund. However, that may change if I start doing Wingnut Roundups again.

@Promnight:
Suck it up, soldier!

@Ewalda: Whatch you mean? I am not maudlin snuffling in my drink. I am quite pumped that I gave my Dad his props, and hopefully amused and maybe inspired some thought, about the contradictions that my father had in him.

Your father had nothing to do with my admonition.
I had a problem with your first sentence: “Oh, ya’ll are so mean.”.
You want better? Then do not flinch from bringing out the knives when necessary. This turd and his “interviewer” need to lie in a pool of their commingled blood.

Memo to the West Coast audience: Crossfire was a warm-up.

@nojo:
Do not watch crap like “Crossfire”, lest you frame your discussions in their terms.

@Ewalda: You see Jon Stewart and Cramer just now?

I think that, historically, it will go down as a moment as important as that time the lawyer asked Joe McCarthy “have you know shame, at long last, have you no shame?”

And Cramer, he was the most absolutely terrified person I have ever seen on TV. Scared and shaking.

Mark my words, people will go to jail, laws will be passed, as a direct result of this interview.

@Promnight:
Normally, I’d agree with you. Unfortunately, he’s not some guy doing a job with isolated consequences. As we have seen for the past eight years, we can not let the unaware run things and expect to survive.

I’ve seen it up close and personal at work where being utterly clueless has been had serious consequences for those around us and beyond (see my CEO.) I have also seen it impersonal, like the motorcyclist who didn’t check his blind spot, didn’t see a truck and died under its wheels.

One former friend was briefly a military NCO and probably the worst leader/manager I’ve ever seen up close. Equal parts incompetence and arrogance with no capacity for introspection. He was kicked out of the military because both his officers and men hated him. I’ve wrote this before, but if I were stuck with him as a CO, I’d frag him before we ever got into combat because he would have gotten us killed. If you’re wondering, he’s been shitcanned about 12 times in the past 12 years so I’m not really alone in my evaluation of him. I’ve suspected the reason he’s on serious anti-depressants (basically amphetamines) is because he can not reconcile the imagine of himself in his mind (uber leader) vs the reality his subconscious sees.

A Prussian general divided his men into four categories based on two qualities. Lazy/Hardworking and Smart/Dumb. Men who were Hardworking and Smart became staff officers because these were the qualities required to plan. Men who were Lazy and Smart were regiment commanders as they would try to figure out the mission at hand with the least effort and blood. Men who were lazy and dumb were the infantry as they would only do what they were told. Men who were hardworking and dumb were tossed out of his army because they were more trouble than they were worth. Many of this generation’s GOP fall under the last category.

@ManchuCandidate: We need more hardworking dumb skulls in the GOP (not that there’s a deficiency right now). That should be their recruiting slogan!

@ManchuCandidate: I always heard it was Napolean.

But seriously, I would fry Rove in oil, this guy, let him loose, he will harm them more than us.

@Promnight:
Jim Cramer? Who gives a fuck about Jim Cramer?
I’m sure the G8 really cares.
The IMF hangs on his every word.
He’s a fucking TV entertainer. Like Jon Stewart.
The fact that Stewart is funny and in many ways reflects our viewpoint means bupkis.

@Ewalda: In so many ways Jon Stewart, Stephen Colbert, Bill Moyers, and even Goddess Rachel Maddow only serve to pacify us. They entertain us with the illusion of dissent.

@Pedonator: @Pedonator: Jebus Crist on a cracker, you two bitches are just full of cheer tonight.

@homofascist: Wanna smooch?

@homofascist: I like to think I live on the Sunny Side of the Street!

@Ewalda: @Pedonator: I mean, I’ll still totally fuck you both. Don’t get me wrong…

@homofascist: But you’d suddenly be very interested in Jim Lehrer while I was cooking dinner, instead of wanting to talk about your day. I know your type.

Boys, boys, boys. Less sniping, more Sesame Street.

@mellbell: Dearest, I don’t think we’re sniping. We’re just sniffing each others’ butts.

@mellbell: OK. So, who do you think offed Mr. Hooper? Was it because he knew too much?

@Ewalda: I’m sorry honey, what did you say again?

@mellbell: Shouldn’t you be in bed young lady? It is a school night.

@Pedonator: That’s what pro football is for. As in the circus part of bread and circuses.

Did anyone else see the Syracuse – Conn game tonight, or will I just have to keep mumbling to myself?

in the world of my own design, i must choose to believe that clip is, in fact, a SNL bit. or else…
…benedick, move over, your hogging all the space under the bed.

so prommie, i’m confused.
being a sorry sack of shit requires our unrelenting sincere compassion?
i’m not that jeebusy. there are sacks of shit on my list whose heads i eagerly await to see on pikes.

i did catch and enjoy cramer’s shrill meltdown. i’ve got a sack o shit pike with his name on it too. oooooh, he’s a scared of jon!!! hehehe.

@baked: Basically, yes, being a sorry sack of shit means being pitiful. Meaning “to be pitied.”

People are all so flawed. The stupid who have from ignorance followed the evil, they are to be pitied, yes.

@Prommie:
well then, this must mean i’m not taking enough medication.
nurse!!

@Promnight: I appreciate your tribute to your dad, Prom. There’s worse things than being a decent person on the inside, whatever else the world thinks of us on the outside. I’m curious, though, do you think he played to type, exaggerating the Archie Bunker shtick for shits and giggles?

@Nabisco: Yeah, I think he did.