Geez, we need some filler here to pretend we’re doing something other than marking time before getting to the link. There’s “beats as it sweeps as it cleans,” of course. Or the line about a resident reporting “suspicious activity at a car wash”. Maybe speculation about what George Jetson does with Rosie the Robot when Jane’s away. (Jane! Stop this crazy thing! Jane! Hellllllp!)

Well, fuck it. Sometimes you just can’t compete with the source.

Mich. man pleads no contest in vacuum sex act case [AP]

Or Dr. Maureen Robinson and the Lost in Space robot. I’d hate to be a fly-on-the-wall for that sex.

@blogenfreude: The only sex on that spaceship was between Smith and the boy, Will Robinson.

You’d think that thing could do some damage down there, like how pool drains have sucked out intestines.

(Just arrived in Portland for good after two days of driving in shifts of 7.5 hours. I can’t feel my legs.)

@Signal to Noise: Dudes, I suspect its deprived, single dudes, mostly, its hard to imagine how someone with a full time female companion would have the motive or opportunity to experiment in such wise, dudes seem to have a willingness to stick their dicks into anything that might remotely seem to offer the possibility of pleasure. This extends to vegetables, animals, appliances, and even other people that no sane person would want to penetrate.

In a way its kinda awesome, a sex drive with no boundaries whatsoever, the human male regards the entire universe through a lense, a decision-making apparatus, which judges everything it encounters and divides them into two categories, the fundamental categories, things I want to fuck, things I do not want to fuck, and for some, obviously, the set of what they would not fuck is suprrisingly small.

@Promnight: the first thing I thought of after reading the story was a TV show I was watching while staying with a friend earlier this week — one character decided to fuck a couch.

You mean that isn’t the cream wax finish?

In the final analysis, is a couch that much different from a sock?

What women don’t know about socks, or do they?

@Promnight: again, Bill Hicks: “I have destroyed entire civilizations with a gray gym sock.”

I am serious here, I have laughed my ass off at the reports of what sad men wind up in the emergency for, the universal story, I was naked, I fell down, and what a freak accident, it went right up my ass.

But really, god, its just people playing with themselves, the poor things. I feel sad for them.

@Signal to Noise: Tool turned me on to Bill Hicks. They are/were huge fans.

Anyone with extra cheap red wine is encouraged to airlift it ASAP to RML, Santa Fe, NM, US America, otherwise I’m gonna have to get into the good stuff. No martinis until Easter due to ill-advised Lenten pledge made after overindulgent weeknight. Wine with dinner does not count and there’s still a slice of pizza on the kitchen island.

C-3PO was just so upset that R2D2 pressed charges.

@redmanlaw: You’re a good attorney, find a loophole, a justification defense. I know you can do it.

Ever since I was a wee lad I’ve gotten a boner going through the Car Wash, yeah, the Car Wash yeah, and now we have those automated things that don’t really get your car clean, but while you’re in there, sealed up with windows closed, the frothy sudsy stuff washing over you, and the dangling multi-pronged tentacles of the washerwhips striking your exoskeleton, your car, yeah, it really gets me hot and bothered.

But, @nojo, I’m still waiting for my sexbot. Fuck the flying cars, they don’t get me off.

@Promnight: I prefer to think of those men who find themselves in the ED with foreign objects up their ass as, not sad, but unfortunate.

They just picked the wrong things to go up their asses. If only they’d given me a call they might have escaped the embarrassment, not to mention the upsurge to their insurance premiums.

@Pedonator: You’re a christian saint. I never heard of such self abnegation.

@Benedick: Thank you brother, but if I’m a saint it is certainly not of the Christian flavor.

In fact, I’m so atheist, when I met God the other day I demanded ID.

@redmanlaw: Do Catholics get Sundays off from their Lenten disciplines? Episcopalians do, since Sunday is always a feast day, even during Lent. If we didn’t invent loopholes, we perfected them.

@Promnight: Socks, socks, scks, that’s all you ever think about.

And vegetables and sex is not just for men as you can see here .

@Pedonator: You know along with the car-wash, there’s a whole line of thought about Fur Coats and the wardrobes and “The Lion the Witch and the Wardrobe” that springs to mind, along with the underside of the face huggers in Aliens. Just saying…..

@CheapBoy: You are the Master! Until now I thought kale was just for soup.

TJ: Michele Bachman is still bringin’ da kray-zee! From the magnificent Princess Sparkle Pony:

Michael Steele is, of course, making the rounds at CPAC and assuring everybody that the Republican Party is doing absolutely great and that they shouldn’t change a thing. Neat!
My favorite part, though, is that he inspired nutty Michele Bachmann so very much that she magically transformed into a comical parody of a cartoon of a stereotype of a black woman:
As Steele concluded his remarks, Minnesota Rep. Michele Bachmann — the event’s moderator — told Steele he was “da man.”
“Michael Steele! You be da man! You be da man,” she said.

They then, presumably, shared a comically large slice of watermelon together for photo-ops and belted out a lusty chorus of “Dixie.”
In other words: Michael Steele’s “hip-hopification” of the GOP? It’s working!

I needed that at the end of the terrible, horrible, no-good, very bad week.

@Mistress Cynica: No fried chicken?

Oh. I also cannot believe that “She of the no sleeves” would actually say that they get “grits” cooked for them. I was reading a review of the dinner (Mixed china apparently. Woodrow Wilson china and some other stuff) and MO said she liked how the White House kitchen made grits, and how they don’t have it every night.

I almost died laughing.

@Mistress Cynica: if there is a just and righteous FSM, it will make video of this appear on the Interwebs very, very soon.

no sexually healthy woman ever sees the pile of cucumbers in the market and thinks hmmmm….no? just me?


“In fact, I’m so atheist, when I met God the other day I demanded ID.”

comment of the day!!!!!!!!!!

@baked: “Then He killed all the first born males of my people. Oops.”

@Mistress Cynica: That explains so much about so many things.

yeah, ya didn’t want to fuck with His Chosen in the old testament. man was He pissy!

Noted racist Woodrow is probably spinning in his grave faster at that comment. Heh.

He was the one who helped turned a blind eye when the South enacted Jim Crowe laws and put Southern Officers in charge of the military.

Also was the guy who made the US Navy dry.

@redmanlaw: An 18-wheeler full of Spanish rojo from Trader Joes is on its way.


Luckily, as a gay man I never have to go too far to put my dick in somebody willing if I want to, thus avoiding the need for vegetation, apple pie, jars of axle grease, what have you. I’ve often pitied the poor straight dude, at the whim of the inseertee all the time. If I really want it, I just let the mister know and voila!!! he understands perfectly.

@Dodgerblue: The Norton Malbec with Happy, Grass Eating Colorado Cow steaks really hit the spot last night.

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