Boom Goes the Dyn-o-mite!

We'll save the Kunta Kinte reference for another day.

Okay, now we get Will Smith’s reference while mangling his Oscar presentation — something to do with a college sportscaster, or maybe Jimmie Walker. And if Barry trips over a line during tonight’s Not-the-State-of-the-Union Address, he has a go-to catchphrase at hand. It even refers to hoops footage, which would tie everything together. Not to mention Mr. Smith on record wanting to play Obama in the biopic.

And if you survived that introduction, you’re welcome to participate in our Not-SOTU Open Thread/Good Times Singalong, which is also eerily appropriate tonight: Temporary layoffs. Easy credit ripoffs. Scratchin’ and surviving. Hangin’ in a chow line. Next year, if we’re lucky, we can do Movin’ On Up instead.


Late news, which as always is DEVELOPING HARD: Linda Solis is yr new Secretary of Labor. 17 dead-enders voting “no,” in case you were wondering. Just in time to be Lady Not-Appearing-In-This-Film for national security purposes, natch.

First beer of the day. Which, considering the day, is an accomplishment.

@nojo: Is time for alcohols, indeed. BTW, I’m thinking the theme to Sanford and Son.

nojo: Goose Island 312 for me. Yes, yes, I know. I am an ELITIST.

@rptrcub: Somebody used that the other day, and I was jealous. Keith? Jon?

Well, fine. I’ll keep Chico and the Man on hand for the right moment.

Matthews ripping on Bobby Jindal. He has me at hello.

Donde esta el “drinking game rules?” We needs them here.

Oh fuck, MSNBC has wired a focus group. Next thing you know, Richard Wolffe will be beaming in.

@chicago bureau: I’m terrible at making them up. And who could have predicted Joe the Plumber?

@nojo: Sticking with Katie & Bob Schieffer on the evil commie SeeBeeEss. Mainly because I don’t have cable anymore.

Beer. I am making a caipirinha with amber cachasa. No Obama TV either. Making fish and spinning vinyl. Chamber music. I’ll show you elitist.

Ruth Bader G. in the house… looking as well as can be, actually.

Ruth Bader Ginsburg makes an appearance. Trooper in the house. Solid.

Yay or nay on the eggplant dress on FLOTUS?

@chicago bureau: I’m kinda “meh.” Still, she’s looking good.

@chicago bureau: Nay, at least in the full shot. Once she’s seated, the top should look nice.

I hear the opening dance number will be fantastic.

@nojo: Especially considering it’s a burly-q act featuring Napolitano.

Where have all the yellow ties gone?

Did you see that grin on Clarence Thomas’ face when Michelle came in? Obvs thinking “Now that a FLILF!”
Sleeveless for the Not-SOTU was a bold choice. Love the purple.
Yes, I do red carpet for Not-SOTU, also.
I’m liking Nancy’s celadon green – a break from the “bold colors” Congressional women love to wear.

Case in point: Hilary in fucking fuchsia. It’s such a pathetic “look at me.”

Kucinich (D-Munchkinland) is looking grayer these days.

Well, BO certainly looks calm and confident. What a nice change.

rptrcub: Too busy pestorking that hot wife of his. I’d let myself go if I had to focus on that 24/7. As I would.

Aaaand there’s DiFi. Ugh, brown?

@Dodgerblue: Which one is she? I’m watching C-Span so 10th graders are doing the camerawork.

@FlyingChainSaw: The caipirinhas in Rio were decadently divine. They will relieve you of your last higher-brain attempts at restraint and composure without incapacitating your lizard-brain attempts at mating.

Who is the tiny woman in lavender next to FLOTUS?

@LuxMentis: Question about Bezos last night on the Daily Show. I thought he was heartily enjoying the moment, somebody else thought he was weird. Any inside knowledge?

Who is tonight’s designated survivor, BTW?

He hugged Ruth! Yay! Magic healing powers!

Jesus H, howmany women are in red? Cliché!!

What is this with him jumping the gun? First the swearing in, now this. Man of action, baby!

Drinking guidelines:
“failed policies of the past” is good for one or two drinks.
“bipartisan” probably will get you a nice buzz.
“sacrifice” will have you on the floor in a coma.

I’m cracking the 15 year old Laphroaig.

@Mistress Cynica: Short Latina in purple, near the front. He hugged her.

Also, nice detail on the fron of Nancy’s jacket.

ZOMG FLOTUS air kisses!!!!1!! They are soooo cute…

I didn’t know they made couchwarmers in olive.

Michelle gets a standing O when hubby calls her out. Married love can be hot…who knew?

Plugz jumping the applause cue. I see what he did there.

That’s Nancy’s Speaker’s Snuggie.

@smapdi: I thought it was a carpet remnant left over from 1974.

@blogenfreude: Please. He passed out under the coffee table clutching a highball glass faintly smelling of scotch 3 hours ago.

@Dodgerblue: Cute. Purple was a good choice. I’m thinking that Hilz has 150 pairs of black pants that she throws a “jewel-colored” jacket over. Y. A. W. N.

@Mistress Cynica: I think I heard Tiny Woman is bank worker in Florida whose Rich Boss gave $60 million to his workers. Rich Boss did not die when handing out worker bonuses, contrary to RNC Dick Michael Steele.

Uh oh, Hopey’s gettin’ all blamey and shit…. I hope Limbaugh is hearing this and is exploding. Unfortunately, it will result in him crapping himself.

Still having trouble adjusting to a POTUS who can speak clearly and engagingly.

@Hose Manikin: For a passing moment, I thought it was Christopher Walken in drag.

@LuxMentis: It’s amazing how much more expressive he is than his predecessor, and his general ability to match actions with words and to use the English language properly.

I also have not heard more shouting and hurrahs in a legislative body since I last watched coverage of the U.K. parliament.

Wiring the audience would be more interesting than wiring a focus group.

Got a close-up o Solis. Looks good. Tastefully accessorized.
Nancy seems to be showing solidarity with the little people by wearing some sort of Add-a-Bead necklace.

Speaking of police, Hopey: SEND SOME DOWN HERE IN ATL pls. Kthx.

Minneapolis has 57 more cops on the beat than they would have had before. Suck on that, St. Paul!

What The Fuck is with Pelosi? She high? She is reading a book, she is looking like she is distracted by the flying monkeys, she on some medication or something, or does the Unicorn rub her the wrong way?

Seriously, that woman is all fucked up back there, squirming and acting strange.

OMG Mitch McConnell’s expression was priceless. Kayrazay eyes +infinity.

Biden is bored. Pelosi looks kinda stoned.

@rptrcub: There were so many shouts of “hey” going out when he came in that I expected everyone to break into “Iko Iko.”

Mitch McConnell and George Will: Separated at Birth?

New energy plan: affix solar panels around Plugz so that glare off of smile can power Northwest DC. Every little bit helps!

@Promnight: One hit killer weed. But wait, she just stood up under her own power. Maybe ecstasy?

Imagine … a vice president who builds something instead of spending his time torturing Pakistani cabdrivers.

I have no idea what any of this means. And I think I am happier so.

@ragingmonk: Raging fucking Monk! Where have you been? I hope it was good, and you brought back presents.

Refi! Refi! But shouldn’t there be some fine print along the bottom of the screen?

Is Joe Lieberman sucking on cough drops?

Lieberman … those shifty fucking eyes …

Banks will start lending again with another bailout? I’ll believe it when I see it.

He’s doing a good job explaining why the bank bailout is needed — by focusing on people who need credit to buy cars etc. “it’s not about helping banks, it’s about helping people.”

Joe looks like he’s sucking that anal pear.

@blogenfreude: W never confronts unpleasantness, he’s a drunk, he denies.

Odd — the MSNBC Voxpop Running Chart Of Absolute Truth has Hopey Voters rating this more harshly than Ancient Mariner voters. Has been that way throughout.


It’s hard work, representing the Lollypop Guild like he does. Those guys are bonebreakers.

You really wanna help me? Cut that fucking ss/medicare double-dip for freelancers.

Someone needs to tell Nancy not to pop those pills before going on national television.

@Promnight: Prommie! I been holidaying in Brazil just before Carnivale! (Can’t afford it during Fat Tuesday.) News and video at 11 (or maybe a .jpg.)

Presents? I have 69 slightly-worn female swimsuit thongs courtesy of my trip and the new class of novices at our Convent, The Convent of the Blessed Phallus. All have my Certificate of Authenticity. Need one?

Workers will have money to spend. And inflation will be no problem at all. Kind of a moot worry if nobody has jobs. But still.

Charlie Rangel looks dumbfounded. Interesting.

@chicago bureau: See, I feel conflicted — I have one impulse to spend a little of that extra money on things like eating out or maybe some nice new slacks from Target. Nothing fancy, nothing bought with credit, and I’m paying it with money I have. But the inner grampa in me is telling me to sock it away in my mattress.

@chicago bureau: You’re able to make sense of the MSNBC Clockwork Orange graph?

@chicago bureau: Some Hopey voters think he used them to get to the nomination, and he is now beginning to triangulate toward the center-right. All those great Cabinet choices besides Hilda Solis, you know.

Well, the era of bailed-out banks wasting our money on stupid shit isn’t quite over.

nojo: I really can’t make sense of it. But there it is, telling me what U.S. Americans think. I am bound to listen.

Chu are you? Chu-chu! Chu! Chu!

Renewable energy leadership: America, fuck yeah!

@ragingmonk: Steele’s position is that a real American businessman would have defended his bonus and stockholders’ dividends by declaring his workers terrorists and asking the Air National Guard to strafe the parking lot after closing time to cull the heard of Islamomarxist troublemakers.

@blogenfreude: I’m hoping he will cut the FDIC loose to take care of the Zombie Banks.

@ragingmonk: You are not just back, you are BACK! You have been missed, we were frantic, Monk, wondering what had become of you, seriously.

A reimagined auto industry: just like what they did with Battlestar Galactica.

The spirit of Macaulay Culkin passes across Nancy’s face.

Wait: didn’t zee Germans invent the automobile? FAIL.

@rptrcub: I need a new sleeper sofa, but I’m dithering …

And wait – didn’t a German invent the automobile? Karl Benz?

@rptrcub: Four episodes left! Who is Starbuck? What is she?

@rptrcub: Spend it, its either going to be so bad it won’t matter if you have saved a paltry sum, or it will get better. Part of the reason for an economic slowdown is people putting their money in mattresses instead of spending it.

I am going forward with a grand entrepeneurial scheme, right now, despite it all. Fuck it. Fortune favors the bold.

Somebody just threw the electric current on under Nancy’s chair. Didn’t she get to the gym this morning?

@nojo: See? There are good reasons to have gearheads on the masthead.

We can say we invented the mass-produced automobile, although some would argue that Ford was, in fact, a German.

Oh fuck, now he’s really laying on hands.


And 90210 and Melrose Place. For fuck’s sake, is nothing sacred?

Let’s just hope this re-imagined auto industry doesn’t start with the near extermination of humanity.

@nojo: I kind of feel like we’re only one level removed from “well” and “can I get a witness” and “Amen” during this speech.

“Democrats and Republicans.” DRINK!

Health care reform “will not wait another year.” Writing a check his butt can’t cash. For real.

@Promnight: Yeah, I’ve been shamelessly neglectful of everybody. I’ll email you in a day or so with the details, bad and good. I missed your food porn, too.

@Promnight: Somehow I’m hearing “O Fortuna” from Carmina Burana in my head.

I am serious, is nancy drunk? She just ain’t right up there.

@chicago bureau: And when he whips out “Purple States”, throw the bottle against the wall.

@FlyingChainSaw: Agreed. Has anybody started the pool to see when Steele resigns or gets shit-canned from the RNC Chair?

$20 says that Jindal slams speech for “lack of specifics” or somesuch. Jai ho!

Oh, let America have the car. We perfected the shitty version.

@Mistress Cynica: Is Fortuna the part everybody cops for their movies? I only used to be a classical-music DJ, but it was all cribbed liner notes.

@Promnight: Theory from friend via Facebook: she’s like an elementary school teacher looking to make sure that the kids aren’t killing each other, in the way that she’s looking toward one side of the aisle, except she’s been sucking down NyQuil like no tomorrow.


The current Starbuck is the result of temporal duplication, mark my words.

At the end of the series in a few weeks, our gal is gonna have to go back in time to die in that Viper crash on Earth.

Kinda like Back to the Future, but with a less happy funeral pyre ending.

ragingmonk: I’m on the “Don’t Come” line on the Steele crapshoot. Unless and until Black Eagle dumps the whole “bipartisan” thing, Steele will do just fine.

@blogenfreude: Well, Ford was an honorary nazi.

My favorite Henry Ford joke: the men who invented automobile air conditioning went to meet Henry, wanting to sell it to him. But they had one demand, their names must appear on their product. But this was a problem for Ford, the anti-semite, because they were jews.

Finally, a compromise was struck, and all auto air conditioning controls contain their first names, High (Hy), Max, and Norm.

Budump bump.

Dropping out of high school is treason!! Is he on a roll, or what? But — I’m not so sure about this charter school stuff.

@Original Andrew: Ron Moore would never cheat like that. He simply waits for his writers to back the series into a corner, then figure out the escape.

@chicago bureau: Did you know that Elizabeth is the Sanskrit word for pestork?

National service will be all that’s left for young Americans if the economy don’t get no better.

“That’s an American issue!” Crash! There went my bottle against the wall.

Black Eagle egging on the GOP in the room. Obama BOOMAYE!

Good God, this is turning into the British parliament.

@ragingmonk: That’s not the way the RNC operates. He will have an accident.

@chicago bureau: Have we ever heard boos during a SOTU? Because I think they just came awfully close.

@nojo: That’s it. Very sinister.
@chicago bureau: When the chick on NPR said “Bobby Jindal” was doing the responce, I thought at first she said “I’ll be gentle” doing the response. Which I found funny for some reason.
@Dodgerblue: FDIC is calling back people who worked on the great bank implosions of the early ’80s (Srsly, calling people up and saying “Bob, we got three banks closing Friday. Can you help us out?” and is sending new recruits out to close banks with 4 days of training.

Plugz is wondering why he doesn’t get to deliver the zingers.

$2 whatillion in budget cuts? Whaaaa? If those come out, we should just crown the man. In other words: not gonna happen.

Coming after no-bid and Star Wars. Hmmm.

@nojo: Westminster system, I tells ya. Westminster.

@Mistress Cynica: I remember vaguely talk that rising FDIC protection only encourages moral hazard among bankers.

The GOP standing up on “not one dime.” He is owning this speech.

Will Michele Bachman finish us off with her Xena-style back flips down the aisle, landing with her tongue down Barry’s throat, or is that only for a Republican POTUS?

@rptrcub: Alas, we’re six years late for Question Time.

Well, there was that flipflop bit on FISA and Telco immunity. And still permitting a religious test in hiring for Faith Based Initiatives. And defending in court the Bush era executive state secrecy claims to deny torture victims their day in court. As well as defending Bush era invocation of state secrecy to protect rendition and torture. But he did come out four square against torture – unless – you know – we really really need it. Oh, and not disputing the Bush administration claims of executive privilege to keep Karl Rove from testifying to Congress. Other than that, its all good.

[links here]

No more supplemental spending bills on the wars. I approve.

“No longer will hide its price.” SNAP!!

That last one, I thought they were gonna start a Wave.

And no, that doesn’t mean I wanna see Lieberman with his chest painted.

@chicago bureau: You may be right. But don’t underestimate Steele’s abilities at self-loathing and self-destruction.

@String Bikini Theory: Check. Check. Check. Check. Check.

We’ll catch up with all that soon enough. I was thinking of getting around to Bagram, but I’ve been preoccupied.

What is the over/under vs length of time on Bill Clinton SOTU?

@String Bikini Theory: SBT, good to see you! All points in agreement.

We do not torture. And somewhere, Dick Cheney silently sheds a tear.

McCain is sitting behind Lisa Jackson, new EPA head. There’s an odd couple.

@String Bikini Theory: While you’re crunching numbers, I’d be curious about a comparative words-per-minute.

God, Hopey sure does know how to intonate correctly.

@Original Andrew: The Bachmann tongue plunge! I wrote about it but forgot the psychosmoocher was still at large.

One hour in, and finally the guest shout-outs. That might also be a record.

nojo: There was a 15 minute delay getting everybody in the room — longer than usual. But you’re right.

Hypocritical Congress gives standing O to Rich Boss who sells his bank and distributes it TO THE WORKERS! GOPers piss their pants at the very thought.

Good point. I think he’ll come in under, but definitely get a higher word count. This’ll take a day or two.

And a proud moment for the SC “education” system.

SOTU guest shout-outs = Death Montage

Fuck. I just got out of my legislative hearing. I’d rather be on my 2d martini wit’chu all and thinking about a 3d one instead of eating cold office pizza getting ready to prepare a briefing book for some gummit employees who lost all the shit we gave them over the years. Oh, and scan a bill and send it to my partner in Albuquerque . . . . sheet . . .have fun, guys.

@Mistress Cynica: You should see the South Carolina Public TV (ETV) documentary about the SC school system, esp. schools like in Dillon and other rural places along the coast. Worse than you can imagine. I have the DVD of it.

No snark about that little girl or I’ll come over there and smack you one.

@Mistress Cynica: It is a strange art – and you have to know the protocols of working with the Treasury guys or the state agencies when they pull the charters. Almost folklorish. I mean, how many people have decommissioned a bank and placed its assets? They should have hired them as soon as Bush was handed the WH by the supreme court. The looting attends Bush presidencies as a matter of course. Hope this is the last one the states will have to endure.

GOP forced to their feet for “wants it to succeed.” Eat it, Rush.
@redmanlaw: Bummer, dude.

This man is the most talented politician we have ever seen. He is the greatest speaker I have ever seen, even better than Abbie Hoffman. He has me swooning. Swooning.

I am in tears again, like on election night, to see a presidential president, not just presidential, but more presidential than any president I have ever seen


Michele Bachman is too much of a national trauma to forget.

nojo: For his sake, I hope he was in a sound-proof room away from the teevee. He must have flop sweat that could power a hydro dam.

@FlyingChainSaw: I actually attended several bank closings as a paralegal in OK in the 80s. It was weird to go in, have people step away from their desks, and start inventorying the contents while they were being escorted from the premises. The main thing my fashion-focused mind recalls is that the FDIC agents wore blue, and the lawyers wore gray. Every time.

Love CSPAN. I can hear someone cackling like a hyena.

Kennedy was tongue tied and clumsy with his jokes, compared to this man.

Nixon! Johnson, bah.

Ford, Carter? oy.

Reagan, he at least sometimes had some dignity, a mediocre actor’s protrayal of what he thought of as presidential.

Clinton, nope, never completely dignified, always a bit too faux-folksy.


This is the best I have ever seen. Intelligence, wit, eloquence, belief, all conveyed naturally, we are not watching a performance, with Clinton, we all knew they were brilliant performances.

I don’t think Obama is performing, he is just going out and being him.

I think it was the dramatic increase in thong references over the last fews hours that I could not resist. Welcome back.

OK, not going to stay for the exorcist’s rebuttal… gotta talk to Mr. Cub on the phone before going back to studying for midterms… nite y’all. well, he ain’t picking up, so, meh.

@chicago bureau: The problem with Responses is that they lack a studio audience. Bobby could deliver a stemwinder, and all we’ll hear are crickets.

DEVELOPING HARD: Early release of Jindal’s speech just hit the wire. Inspirational opening line: “Quando omni flunkus, mortati.”

I guess I had a Hope Out of Body Experience.

@Promnight: It’s a performance. But unlike most contemporary politicians, he knows how to deliver a speech.

@Mistress Cynica: Oh, God, Continental Illinois syndication victims? Be still my heart! The ones I’ve had knowledge of, the whole process was paramilitary. Wouldn’t doubt they had a color code for decommissioning exercises. Actually, when I’ve been to FDIC in DC, a lot of the guys were in blue blazers. May be like working for a regional bell operating company in 1977. Every manager has the same car and same style and color suits because that was the culture of the place.

Wow, that room cleared fast. Does Vanity Fair have a tent outside?

And he was fucking with the republicans, wasn’t he? Gently stabbing, ridiculing with an offhand remark, and then getting highflown and oratorical about forgetting “petty” issues to rise to a generational crisis.

He was slicing and dicing. Brilliant.

@nojo: Its easier to perform if the character isn’t such a stretch for you.

The speech was filled with plans that, if he gets half of them, would put him in very good stead. But his failures will loom larger. A bit of overpromising, to put it mildly.

@Promnight: True enough. But when he slips into that MLK drawl, you know it’s no accident.

It also helps if you are telling the truth as you sincerely believe, even if with skilled artifice, maybe what strikes me as the sincerity is simply the fact that Bush lied, baldly, about every single major issue he ever spoke of, he lied, in bad faith, knowing he was lying, for the purpose of conning the great unwashed while he and his plutocrat robber class got on with doing what they knew was best for us.

Its that he is telling the truth. Thats kinda inspiring.

Passing note: Apparently Tweety decided not to run for senator because a friend confronted him with a Candidate moment. He had no clue what he’d do if elected.

@FlyingChainSaw: I worked for the firm that represented Bill Patterson of Penn Square Bank fame. Got him off in OK, pleaded out in IL. A lot of the banks were part of the domino effect from PSB, which actually brought down Cont. Ill. Then when the S&L hell went down, we were local counsel for the FSLIC. Good times.

Happy Mardi Gras? That means a drink, right?

@chicago bureau: customary platitudes about how great it is to have a black president, in theory…

“Why do I want to be Student Body President?”

What is this personal back story bit? This is his stump speech. For real, kids.

@Original Andrew: Wait – did Bachmann jump the Unicorn? I left the room to get a new printer cartridge.

Note to speechwriters: Drop the ess’s.

Jindal’s mother arrived in La 44 1/2 months pregnant? Is she an elephant? Also, since he was conceived in India, and since life of course begins at conception, doesn’t that disqualify him from being POTUS?

The president’s strongest partners? All you people are going to do is to fucking obstruct.

[VFX: Smile and chuckle. Damn the budget, do it!]

@Mistress Cynica: I’m filing that one away for future use.

Wait, WTF is up with Jindal’s exaggerated intonation? Why is he talking to me as if I’m fucking five?

@nojo: OMFG, the stripes in the tie match up exactly with the stripes in the flag.
He is Barney Fife.

The man has no sense of cadence or intonation like the Hopinator.

The lesson in this experience? BOATERS MUST HAVE INSURANCE. HAVE TO HAVE IT. Don’t you know anything?

God damn it — folksy makes you look like a dumb hick. The voice doesn’t help either.

And here comes the co-opting!

@flippin eck: He’s talking to Republicans, remember. He has to.

I didn’t know Mad had an Indian edition.

flippin eck: Because he is fucking nine years old.

Shit — I think we kinda need volcano monitoring. Those bastards need watching.

Since monitoring volcanoes isn’t worth it, Bobby, why don’t we defund the National Hurricane Center? It’s a storm of wasteful spending.

@chicago bureau: Translate this, if you can: Quantum materiae materietur marmota monax si marmota monax materiam possit materiari?

rptrcub: LOLZ.

We can do anything. Wildlife in free-drilling zones? Not so much.

@nojo: We need to register immediately.

The Republicans have now dropped the extra “u” in nuclear but still are fucking up the word.

@Mistress Cynica: A pal of mine from N’awlins told me he hasn’t the chin to be preznit.

@blogenfreude: I refuse. I can do anything. But I won’t do that.

I love hearing Republicans talk about Katrina…

@blogenfreude: How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?

blogenfreude: He hasn’t the chin, full stop. But that’s OK, because he can do anything.

@blogenfreude: Gearheads I can accept. But Latin gearheads? Freak.

Republicans for ethics, transparency, and honesty! Yay! Foxes for Chickens? Wolves for sheep?

Apparently anyone can do anything. Congrats to the new 6th grad class president Bobby Jindal.

I’m contributing $25 to Talibunny right now. We need her.

He never said, Bobby, that we can’t reverse this course. He said that if we didn’t act, we wouldn’t be able to. Rove lives.

@Mistress Cynica: Dorothy Parker is spinning in her grave, dear Cynica, out of jealousy for your wit. Bravo, and the comeback, plus one infinity.

I swear, this is like watching Max Headroom.

Did he just say we have the most Brazilian economy? Not that he’s wrong there, but still…

He’s stopped speaking. He really can do anything!

The Most, the most, the most, the free-est. We are Americans. Wow! I am so. wow.

@Mistress Cynica: Bingo – either you’re a CarTalk listener or a serious scholar. Or good w/ teh Google.

@flippin eck:
Following an Obama speech is a losing game. I get the feeling they GOPers had a meeting and said “Whoever wants to give our rebuttal; take one step forward.” Everyone took a step back and Jindal was standing there.

Sorry for silence…TimeWarner imploded shortly after the speech started. I’ll simply say that my favorite line is:

“Dropping out of high school is no longer an option. It is not just quitting on yourself, it’s quitting on your country.”

Rachel Maddow babbling. Literally. Come on, Rachel! Talk. You can do ANYTHING!

Living in Volcano land, I think that hurricane monitoring is wasteful, and I am sure to be intellectually honest, Governor Jindal would have to agree.

@blogenfreude: That address is Stinque Plaza, Our Fair City, California.

@nojo: Those were the days. What a spectacular big gay tranny mess popular culture was under Reagan.

Seriously — the Tim Kaine Democratic response a few years back (“there is a better way!”) was bad. This was a total flunk job.

Wah! I’ve missed everything tonight, because my neighbor’s PC broke and he asked me to help. And it took forever.
Well, guess I’ll just have to piece it all together from the comments…..

@blogenfreude: I got my current job because I can read Latin. I have the 4″ thick Oxford Latin Dictionary, which was the Latin Prize I won in 10th grade, when needless to say, I had no friends.

Replay on “deficit we inherited”: Who was the Republican who stood up?

Gotta run! Red letter day for you beautiful Stinquers. Since we can do anything, we go play hoop. Laters.

@String Bikini Theory: Srsly, Talibunny would have done a better job.

@chicago bureau: Et moi, gotta catch up with the chores I’ve been putting off all day…

@Mistress Cynica: You ever meet Mark Singer? Guy who wrote the book on Penn Square. Masterful piece.

Yeah. And maybe too politically savvy to do it.

@String Bikini Theory: Palin’s busy deciding which of the RNC’s clothes to sell to pay back Alaska for flying her campaign props kids all over creation.

@Mistress Cynica: Brilliant.

@nojo: I thought the same. Let me know if I need to contribute to register that site.

@FlyingChainSaw: Only at a book signing, but he did interview the attorneys for the book, which I thought told the story very well. It was funny to watch Oklahomans in the bookstore looking for people they knew in the index.

@Mistress Cynica: How did you keep your chops up to read it? Did you study in secondary school and university?

Was out at pub tonight.

The Daily Show brought on the KRAZEEEEEEEEE tonight. Two Revs, both batshit insane. Probably secret Atkisson Brigade commanders.

@Tommmcatt, The Choice of a New Generation: Beck is a childish fool. What network is this? This is like Palin encouraging the Alaskan secessionist party. Beck needs to be staked to the ground through his knees and elbows (face up) and a portapotti chair planted over his face. If he is going to spew this kind of shit he is going to need a ready supply of feces.


My thoughts exactly. The thing that blew my mind is that they were laying out a pseudo-intellectual framework for insurrection. “They’re going to take 90% of your income”; “The average Bubba knows the Constitution- they read it right through once a year-and as a consequence they know they are the one’s guarding the true rights of America”; and my personal favorite “True American millitary won’t shoot at them”. Unbefuckinglevable!

Obama’s a total rock star! Bigger than Bono! He can say “fuck you GOP” and force them to applaud while doing it.

He should have charged for those autographs to help pay down the national debt.

Jindal not even cool enough for a garage band. I guess he had dumb things down for the base. Begging folks to “trust us this time” was really lame. This twit is the GOP Ace in the hole? What a sorry bunch .

I still can’t believe he mocked volcano monitoring. Just… What? No. Sorry.

@Tommmcatt, The Choice of a New Generation: Nuts. Military personnel overwhelmingly chose the Democrat in the last election in terms of campaign contributions. This is literally fantastic. I mean you might as well have me and Promnight trading recipes on TV to prepare people for Cannibal Anarchy.

PNDB: “Remember, as long as their are houses standing, they’ll be wood to cook with. Don’t try cooking over burning tires. It’ll turn the meet rancid.”

FCS: “Great info, Promster. Question: when cities are laid to waste by all the dirty nukes that the Adkisson-Cummings Brigades will set off, hey, can we trust the meat from cadavers and domesticated we survivors will find there?”

The premise is insane, as well. Biker riots ensue because Bloomberg is paying more taxes? Yeah.

By the way, speaking of fuckwitted asswipes making insane claims based on no provable facts, Joe the Wife Beater’s book is out.


Already? Jesus. What is it, 5 pages of biography and 200 pages of Peanuts cartoons?

@Tommmcatt, The Choice of a New Generation: I would totally watch it. I hear FCS barbecued panda is amazingly moist and tender.

@Tommmcatt, The Choice of a New Generation: That video totally creeped me out. I would be more worried, but I think only the hardest of the hardest wingnuts could even give that a passing interest. It must be sad to realize that the only people who are seriously listening to you have the IQ of rock salt.

I like the commenter that was like “2014 – I thought y’all were gonna take everything back over in 2012. You’re going to overthrow President Palin?” I am sure that their point is to get everyone so riled up that in 2012 they will sweep the Rethugs back into power to avoid this Mad Max style 2014, but still. That is one funny comment.

@IanJ: See, if the volcanoes in Alaska erupt with no warning and take out Palin, he has a clear shot at 2012. He’s verrrrry sneaky. Also he, unlike us, can’t see a volcano from his house–the ability to see something from your house being what makes you an expert on the subject in the GOP.

People. People. Old News Breaking so hard it could chip your tooth. But me an the OH just watched the Not 60 mins special on Barry Teh Road to da White House, and OMFG! He is… (cue choir) would he adopt me? I kept hoping maybe RML would do it if I dropped enough hints (email me at but srsly.. if I could be part of the wonderment that is the Obama houseihold! BTW, has anyone noticed? Dude is cute. Tall and tan and long and lovely… And she is so… awesome. And together they are… awesomer! And the kids… Sash and Jenna… are so awesome! I’m lying here drenched in Hope®. It’s like Fashion Week and I got trapped in a tent in Bryant Park by a bunch of homos spritzing Eternity. I am soaked in Hope® and reeking of Optimism®. Booyah Hussein Obama! He will lead us out of the wilderness!

No, but srsly, I’d forgotten how awesome they are. We should all just STFU and let this crew get on with it because they seriously know what they are doing.

On a lighter note: I hear teh chimpster has snagged some speaking gigs: ie: he will try to stand upright and speak. I want to be there to pelt him with stale Little Betty cakes (like there’s any other kind?) and the blood-soaked bandages of those slaughtered in Iraq.

@Mistress Cynica: It’s all so clear now. So I must be an expert on… trees, clouds, rain, and my neighbor’s house. Sounds about right.

@Mistress Cynica: It’s like they’re auditioning for the star and all they got is the chorus. And Gertie Lawrence aint returning anyone’s calls.


I would eat that little bitch in about 15 seconds without stopping for sauce. Did I say that already?

Whew… 277 comments. Is that a record?

As someone who lives relatively close to volcanos, I’m going to take the courageous position of being… um… all for their testing? What the double eff was that about anyway? I missed it.

Oh, and Woop! Woop! Jamie Bamber shirtless alert. He’s rocking the beautiful chest hair.

And here’s one for our het Stinque brothers from Rio’s Carnival.

Check out those maracas!

@Original Andrew: Thank you. That helps to make up for the Stormy surge.
@Benedick: It’s like Fashion Week and I got trapped in a tent in Bryant Park by a bunch of homos spritzing Eternity.
I laughed so loud I scared the cats, and I laugh every time I reread it. That may be my favorite simile ever. Oh, how I adore you.

OK. Back at home with my baby and a martini watchin’ the Eagle on a re-run. Where’s the party?

@Original Andrew: Those carnival photos are amazing. I want to go to the Sambadrome!
So perhaps our recently returned missionary to Brazil raging monk can tell me if Rio “samba school”=NOLA krewe.

Samba + Brazilian Death Metal = Sepultura, “Ratamahatta”

One of my all time fave tunes from the “Roots” album.

These guys could kick Slipknot’s ASS!

@Original Andrew: Oy! Those maracas are so lumpy. I’d be willing to bet she stuffed them with the street clothes she’ll change into for the bus ride home.

He is the greatest speaker I have ever seen
This guy, on that night, was the best I’ve ever seen:
(There’s even a solidarity fist salute at 14:06).
Watch the whole thing (although there is a small missing section towards the end). Sometimes 1984 doesn’t seem that long ago.

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