Boom Goes the Dyn-o-mite!

We'll save the Kunta Kinte reference for another day.

Okay, now we get Will Smith’s reference while mangling his Oscar presentation — something to do with a college sportscaster, or maybe Jimmie Walker. And if Barry trips over a line during tonight’s Not-the-State-of-the-Union Address, he has a go-to catchphrase at hand. It even refers to hoops footage, which would tie everything together. Not to mention Mr. Smith on record wanting to play Obama in the biopic.

And if you survived that introduction, you’re welcome to participate in our Not-SOTU Open Thread/Good Times Singalong, which is also eerily appropriate tonight: Temporary layoffs. Easy credit ripoffs. Scratchin’ and surviving. Hangin’ in a chow line. Next year, if we’re lucky, we can do Movin’ On Up instead.

285 comments:

8:48 pm • Tuesday • February 24, 2009

Late news, which as always is DEVELOPING HARD: Linda Solis is yr new Secretary of Labor. 17 dead-enders voting “no,” in case you were wondering. Just in time to be Lady Not-Appearing-In-This-Film for national security purposes, natch.

8:54 pm • Tuesday • February 24, 2009

First beer of the day. Which, considering the day, is an accomplishment.

8:55 pm • Tuesday • February 24, 2009

@nojo: Is time for alcohols, indeed. BTW, I’m thinking the theme to Sanford and Son.

8:55 pm • Tuesday • February 24, 2009

nojo: Goose Island 312 for me. Yes, yes, I know. I am an ELITIST.

8:57 pm • Tuesday • February 24, 2009

@rptrcub: Somebody used that the other day, and I was jealous. Keith? Jon?

Well, fine. I’ll keep Chico and the Man on hand for the right moment.

8:57 pm • Tuesday • February 24, 2009

Matthews ripping on Bobby Jindal. He has me at hello.

8:58 pm • Tuesday • February 24, 2009

Donde esta el “drinking game rules?” We needs them here.

9:00 pm • Tuesday • February 24, 2009

Oh fuck, MSNBC has wired a focus group. Next thing you know, Richard Wolffe will be beaming in.

9:00 pm • Tuesday • February 24, 2009

SULLY! SULLY! SULLY!

9:01 pm • Tuesday • February 24, 2009

@chicago bureau: HOPE. Obvs.

9:01 pm • Tuesday • February 24, 2009

@chicago bureau: I’m terrible at making them up. And who could have predicted Joe the Plumber?

9:02 pm • Tuesday • February 24, 2009

@nojo: Sticking with Katie & Bob Schieffer on the evil commie SeeBeeEss. Mainly because I don’t have cable anymore.

9:03 pm • Tuesday • February 24, 2009

Beer. I am making a caipirinha with amber cachasa. No Obama TV either. Making fish and spinning vinyl. Chamber music. I’ll show you elitist.

9:03 pm • Tuesday • February 24, 2009

Ruth Bader G. in the house… looking as well as can be, actually.

9:03 pm • Tuesday • February 24, 2009

Ruth Bader Ginsburg makes an appearance. Trooper in the house. Solid.

9:04 pm • Tuesday • February 24, 2009

Yay or nay on the eggplant dress on FLOTUS?

9:05 pm • Tuesday • February 24, 2009

Who is Pelosi wearing?

9:05 pm • Tuesday • February 24, 2009

@chicago bureau: I’m kinda “meh.” Still, she’s looking good.

9:06 pm • Tuesday • February 24, 2009

@chicago bureau: Nay, at least in the full shot. Once she’s seated, the top should look nice.

9:07 pm • Tuesday • February 24, 2009

I hear the opening dance number will be fantastic.

9:08 pm • Tuesday • February 24, 2009

@nojo: Especially considering it’s a burly-q act featuring Napolitano.

9:08 pm • Tuesday • February 24, 2009

Where have all the yellow ties gone?

9:09 pm • Tuesday • February 24, 2009

Did you see that grin on Clarence Thomas’ face when Michelle came in? Obvs thinking “Now that a FLILF!”
Sleeveless for the Not-SOTU was a bold choice. Love the purple.
Yes, I do red carpet for Not-SOTU, also.
I’m liking Nancy’s celadon green – a break from the “bold colors” Congressional women love to wear.

9:09 pm • Tuesday • February 24, 2009

Hilda Solis in the house!

9:10 pm • Tuesday • February 24, 2009

Case in point: Hilary in fucking fuchsia. It’s such a pathetic “look at me.”

9:11 pm • Tuesday • February 24, 2009

@Mistress Cynica: Whadja think of Hilda’s getup?

9:11 pm • Tuesday • February 24, 2009

Kucinich (D-Munchkinland) is looking grayer these days.

9:12 pm • Tuesday • February 24, 2009

Well, BO certainly looks calm and confident. What a nice change.

9:13 pm • Tuesday • February 24, 2009

rptrcub: Too busy pestorking that hot wife of his. I’d let myself go if I had to focus on that 24/7. As I would.

9:13 pm • Tuesday • February 24, 2009

Aaaand there’s DiFi. Ugh, brown?

9:13 pm • Tuesday • February 24, 2009

@Mistress Cynica: LOL. Love you more and more….

9:13 pm • Tuesday • February 24, 2009

@Dodgerblue: Which one is she? I’m watching C-Span so 10th graders are doing the camerawork.

9:14 pm • Tuesday • February 24, 2009

Hug from RBG…too cute…

9:15 pm • Tuesday • February 24, 2009

@FlyingChainSaw: The caipirinhas in Rio were decadently divine. They will relieve you of your last higher-brain attempts at restraint and composure without incapacitating your lizard-brain attempts at mating.

9:15 pm • Tuesday • February 24, 2009

Who is the tiny woman in lavender next to FLOTUS?

9:15 pm • Tuesday • February 24, 2009

@LuxMentis: Question about Bezos last night on the Daily Show. I thought he was heartily enjoying the moment, somebody else thought he was weird. Any inside knowledge?

9:15 pm • Tuesday • February 24, 2009

Who is tonight’s designated survivor, BTW?

9:15 pm • Tuesday • February 24, 2009

He hugged Ruth! Yay! Magic healing powers!

9:16 pm • Tuesday • February 24, 2009

Jesus H, howmany women are in red? Cliché!!

9:16 pm • Tuesday • February 24, 2009

What is this with him jumping the gun? First the swearing in, now this. Man of action, baby!

9:16 pm • Tuesday • February 24, 2009

Drinking guidelines:
“failed policies of the past” is good for one or two drinks.
“bipartisan” probably will get you a nice buzz.
“sacrifice” will have you on the floor in a coma.

I’m cracking the 15 year old Laphroaig.

9:16 pm • Tuesday • February 24, 2009

@Mistress Cynica: Short Latina in purple, near the front. He hugged her.

9:17 pm • Tuesday • February 24, 2009

@rptrcub: Holder, I think. No coward, he.

9:17 pm • Tuesday • February 24, 2009

Also, nice detail on the fron of Nancy’s jacket.

9:17 pm • Tuesday • February 24, 2009

I hope W is watching.

9:17 pm • Tuesday • February 24, 2009

ZOMG FLOTUS air kisses!!!!1!! They are soooo cute…

9:17 pm • Tuesday • February 24, 2009

I didn’t know they made couchwarmers in olive.

9:17 pm • Tuesday • February 24, 2009

Michelle gets a standing O when hubby calls her out. Married love can be hot…who knew?

9:19 pm • Tuesday • February 24, 2009

Plugz jumping the applause cue. I see what he did there.

9:19 pm • Tuesday • February 24, 2009

Jesus, he’s starting out tough.

9:19 pm • Tuesday • February 24, 2009

That’s Nancy’s Speaker’s Snuggie.

9:20 pm • Tuesday • February 24, 2009

@smapdi: I thought it was a carpet remnant left over from 1974.

9:20 pm • Tuesday • February 24, 2009

@blogenfreude: Please. He passed out under the coffee table clutching a highball glass faintly smelling of scotch 3 hours ago.

9:20 pm • Tuesday • February 24, 2009

@Dodgerblue: Cute. Purple was a good choice. I’m thinking that Hilz has 150 pairs of black pants that she throws a “jewel-colored” jacket over. Y. A. W. N.

9:21 pm • Tuesday • February 24, 2009

@Mistress Cynica: I think I heard Tiny Woman is bank worker in Florida whose Rich Boss gave $60 million to his workers. Rich Boss did not die when handing out worker bonuses, contrary to RNC Dick Michael Steele.

9:21 pm • Tuesday • February 24, 2009

What is Nancy doing with her lips?

9:22 pm • Tuesday • February 24, 2009

Uh oh, Hopey’s gettin’ all blamey and shit…. I hope Limbaugh is hearing this and is exploding. Unfortunately, it will result in him crapping himself.

9:22 pm • Tuesday • February 24, 2009

Still having trouble adjusting to a POTUS who can speak clearly and engagingly.

9:22 pm • Tuesday • February 24, 2009

@Hose Manikin: For a passing moment, I thought it was Christopher Walken in drag.

9:23 pm • Tuesday • February 24, 2009

@LuxMentis: It’s amazing how much more expressive he is than his predecessor, and his general ability to match actions with words and to use the English language properly.

I also have not heard more shouting and hurrahs in a legislative body since I last watched coverage of the U.K. parliament.

9:23 pm • Tuesday • February 24, 2009

Wiring the audience would be more interesting than wiring a focus group.

9:23 pm • Tuesday • February 24, 2009

Got a close-up o Solis. Looks good. Tastefully accessorized.
Nancy seems to be showing solidarity with the little people by wearing some sort of Add-a-Bead necklace.

9:24 pm • Tuesday • February 24, 2009

Speaking of police, Hopey: SEND SOME DOWN HERE IN ATL pls. Kthx.

9:24 pm • Tuesday • February 24, 2009

Minneapolis has 57 more cops on the beat than they would have had before. Suck on that, St. Paul!

9:25 pm • Tuesday • February 24, 2009

What The Fuck is with Pelosi? She high? She is reading a book, she is looking like she is distracted by the flying monkeys, she on some medication or something, or does the Unicorn rub her the wrong way?

Seriously, that woman is all fucked up back there, squirming and acting strange.

9:25 pm • Tuesday • February 24, 2009

OMG Mitch McConnell’s expression was priceless. Kayrazay eyes +infinity.

9:25 pm • Tuesday • February 24, 2009

Biden is bored. Pelosi looks kinda stoned.

9:25 pm • Tuesday • February 24, 2009

@rptrcub: There were so many shouts of “hey” going out when he came in that I expected everyone to break into “Iko Iko.”

9:25 pm • Tuesday • February 24, 2009

Mitch McConnell and George Will: Separated at Birth?

9:26 pm • Tuesday • February 24, 2009

New energy plan: affix solar panels around Plugz so that glare off of smile can power Northwest DC. Every little bit helps!

9:27 pm • Tuesday • February 24, 2009

@Promnight: One hit killer weed. But wait, she just stood up under her own power. Maybe ecstasy?

9:27 pm • Tuesday • February 24, 2009

Imagine … a vice president who builds something instead of spending his time torturing Pakistani cabdrivers.

9:28 pm • Tuesday • February 24, 2009

I have no idea what any of this means. And I think I am happier so.

9:28 pm • Tuesday • February 24, 2009

@ragingmonk: Raging fucking Monk! Where have you been? I hope it was good, and you brought back presents.

9:30 pm • Tuesday • February 24, 2009

Refi! Refi! But shouldn’t there be some fine print along the bottom of the screen?

9:30 pm • Tuesday • February 24, 2009

Is Joe Lieberman sucking on cough drops?

9:31 pm • Tuesday • February 24, 2009

Lieberman … those shifty fucking eyes …

9:31 pm • Tuesday • February 24, 2009

Banks will start lending again with another bailout? I’ll believe it when I see it.

9:31 pm • Tuesday • February 24, 2009

He’s doing a good job explaining why the bank bailout is needed — by focusing on people who need credit to buy cars etc. “it’s not about helping banks, it’s about helping people.”

9:32 pm • Tuesday • February 24, 2009

Joe looks like he’s sucking that anal pear.

9:32 pm • Tuesday • February 24, 2009

@blogenfreude: W never confronts unpleasantness, he’s a drunk, he denies.

9:32 pm • Tuesday • February 24, 2009

Odd — the MSNBC Voxpop Running Chart Of Absolute Truth has Hopey Voters rating this more harshly than Ancient Mariner voters. Has been that way throughout.

9:33 pm • Tuesday • February 24, 2009

@rptrcub:

It’s hard work, representing the Lollypop Guild like he does. Those guys are bonebreakers.

9:33 pm • Tuesday • February 24, 2009

You really wanna help me? Cut that fucking ss/medicare double-dip for freelancers.

9:34 pm • Tuesday • February 24, 2009

Someone needs to tell Nancy not to pop those pills before going on national television.

9:34 pm • Tuesday • February 24, 2009

@Promnight: Prommie! I been holidaying in Brazil just before Carnivale! (Can’t afford it during Fat Tuesday.) News and video at 11 (or maybe a .jpg.)

Presents? I have 69 slightly-worn female swimsuit thongs courtesy of my trip and the new class of novices at our Convent, The Convent of the Blessed Phallus. All have my Certificate of Authenticity. Need one?

9:34 pm • Tuesday • February 24, 2009

Workers will have money to spend. And inflation will be no problem at all. Kind of a moot worry if nobody has jobs. But still.

9:35 pm • Tuesday • February 24, 2009

Charlie Rangel looks dumbfounded. Interesting.

9:36 pm • Tuesday • February 24, 2009

@chicago bureau: See, I feel conflicted — I have one impulse to spend a little of that extra money on things like eating out or maybe some nice new slacks from Target. Nothing fancy, nothing bought with credit, and I’m paying it with money I have. But the inner grampa in me is telling me to sock it away in my mattress.

9:36 pm • Tuesday • February 24, 2009

@chicago bureau: You’re able to make sense of the MSNBC Clockwork Orange graph?

9:37 pm • Tuesday • February 24, 2009

@chicago bureau: Some Hopey voters think he used them to get to the nomination, and he is now beginning to triangulate toward the center-right. All those great Cabinet choices besides Hilda Solis, you know.

9:38 pm • Tuesday • February 24, 2009

Well, the era of bailed-out banks wasting our money on stupid shit isn’t quite over.

9:38 pm • Tuesday • February 24, 2009

He brought his A game tonight.

9:38 pm • Tuesday • February 24, 2009

nojo: I really can’t make sense of it. But there it is, telling me what U.S. Americans think. I am bound to listen.

9:39 pm • Tuesday • February 24, 2009

Chu are you? Chu-chu! Chu! Chu!

9:39 pm • Tuesday • February 24, 2009

Renewable energy leadership: America, fuck yeah!

9:39 pm • Tuesday • February 24, 2009

@ragingmonk: Steele’s position is that a real American businessman would have defended his bonus and stockholders’ dividends by declaring his workers terrorists and asking the Air National Guard to strafe the parking lot after closing time to cull the heard of Islamomarxist troublemakers.

9:39 pm • Tuesday • February 24, 2009

@blogenfreude: I’m hoping he will cut the FDIC loose to take care of the Zombie Banks.

9:39 pm • Tuesday • February 24, 2009

@ragingmonk: You are not just back, you are BACK! You have been missed, we were frantic, Monk, wondering what had become of you, seriously.

9:41 pm • Tuesday • February 24, 2009

A reimagined auto industry: just like what they did with Battlestar Galactica.

9:41 pm • Tuesday • February 24, 2009

The spirit of Macaulay Culkin passes across Nancy’s face.

9:41 pm • Tuesday • February 24, 2009

Wait: didn’t zee Germans invent the automobile? FAIL.

9:41 pm • Tuesday • February 24, 2009

@rptrcub: I need a new sleeper sofa, but I’m dithering …

And wait – didn’t a German invent the automobile? Karl Benz?

9:42 pm • Tuesday • February 24, 2009

@rptrcub: Four episodes left! Who is Starbuck? What is she?

9:42 pm • Tuesday • February 24, 2009

JINX! Blogenfreude owes me a Coke.

9:42 pm • Tuesday • February 24, 2009

@rptrcub: Spend it, its either going to be so bad it won’t matter if you have saved a paltry sum, or it will get better. Part of the reason for an economic slowdown is people putting their money in mattresses instead of spending it.

I am going forward with a grand entrepeneurial scheme, right now, despite it all. Fuck it. Fortune favors the bold.

9:43 pm • Tuesday • February 24, 2009

@chicago bureau: @blogenfreude: Damn, you two. Never would have guessed.

9:43 pm • Tuesday • February 24, 2009
9:43 pm • Tuesday • February 24, 2009

Somebody just threw the electric current on under Nancy’s chair. Didn’t she get to the gym this morning?

9:43 pm • Tuesday • February 24, 2009

@chicago bureau: @blogenfreude: Jinx WIN.

@nojo: My vote is cylon.

9:43 pm • Tuesday • February 24, 2009

@chicago bureau: Inflation isn’t the danger. Deflation is.

9:44 pm • Tuesday • February 24, 2009

@nojo: See? There are good reasons to have gearheads on the masthead.

We can say we invented the mass-produced automobile, although some would argue that Ford was, in fact, a German.

9:44 pm • Tuesday • February 24, 2009

Oh fuck, now he’s really laying on hands.

9:44 pm • Tuesday • February 24, 2009

@rptrcub:

And 90210 and Melrose Place. For fuck’s sake, is nothing sacred?

Let’s just hope this re-imagined auto industry doesn’t start with the near extermination of humanity.

9:44 pm • Tuesday • February 24, 2009

@nojo: I kind of feel like we’re only one level removed from “well” and “can I get a witness” and “Amen” during this speech.

9:45 pm • Tuesday • February 24, 2009

“Democrats and Republicans.” DRINK!

9:45 pm • Tuesday • February 24, 2009

Health care reform “will not wait another year.” Writing a check his butt can’t cash. For real.

9:46 pm • Tuesday • February 24, 2009

@Promnight: Yeah, I’ve been shamelessly neglectful of everybody. I’ll email you in a day or so with the details, bad and good. I missed your food porn, too.

9:46 pm • Tuesday • February 24, 2009

@Promnight: Somehow I’m hearing “O Fortuna” from Carmina Burana in my head.

9:46 pm • Tuesday • February 24, 2009

I am serious, is nancy drunk? She just ain’t right up there.

9:47 pm • Tuesday • February 24, 2009

@chicago bureau: And when he whips out “Purple States”, throw the bottle against the wall.

9:47 pm • Tuesday • February 24, 2009

@FlyingChainSaw: Agreed. Has anybody started the pool to see when Steele resigns or gets shit-canned from the RNC Chair?

9:47 pm • Tuesday • February 24, 2009

$20 says that Jindal slams speech for “lack of specifics” or somesuch. Jai ho!

9:47 pm • Tuesday • February 24, 2009

Oh, let America have the car. We perfected the shitty version.

9:48 pm • Tuesday • February 24, 2009

@Mistress Cynica: Is Fortuna the part everybody cops for their movies? I only used to be a classical-music DJ, but it was all cribbed liner notes.

9:48 pm • Tuesday • February 24, 2009

@Promnight: Theory from friend via Facebook: she’s like an elementary school teacher looking to make sure that the kids aren’t killing each other, in the way that she’s looking toward one side of the aisle, except she’s been sucking down NyQuil like no tomorrow.

9:49 pm • Tuesday • February 24, 2009

@nojo:

The current Starbuck is the result of temporal duplication, mark my words.

At the end of the series in a few weeks, our gal is gonna have to go back in time to die in that Viper crash on Earth.

Kinda like Back to the Future, but with a less happy funeral pyre ending.

9:49 pm • Tuesday • February 24, 2009

ragingmonk: I’m on the “Don’t Come” line on the Steele crapshoot. Unless and until Black Eagle dumps the whole “bipartisan” thing, Steele will do just fine.

9:49 pm • Tuesday • February 24, 2009

@blogenfreude: Well, Ford was an honorary nazi.

My favorite Henry Ford joke: the men who invented automobile air conditioning went to meet Henry, wanting to sell it to him. But they had one demand, their names must appear on their product. But this was a problem for Ford, the anti-semite, because they were jews.

Finally, a compromise was struck, and all auto air conditioning controls contain their first names, High (Hy), Max, and Norm.

Budump bump.

9:50 pm • Tuesday • February 24, 2009

Dropping out of high school is treason!! Is he on a roll, or what? But — I’m not so sure about this charter school stuff.

9:50 pm • Tuesday • February 24, 2009

@Original Andrew: Ron Moore would never cheat like that. He simply waits for his writers to back the series into a corner, then figure out the escape.

9:50 pm • Tuesday • February 24, 2009

@chicago bureau: Did you know that Elizabeth is the Sanskrit word for pestork?

9:50 pm • Tuesday • February 24, 2009

National service will be all that’s left for young Americans if the economy don’t get no better.

9:51 pm • Tuesday • February 24, 2009

“That’s an American issue!” Crash! There went my bottle against the wall.

9:52 pm • Tuesday • February 24, 2009

Black Eagle egging on the GOP in the room. Obama BOOMAYE!

9:52 pm • Tuesday • February 24, 2009

Good God, this is turning into the British parliament.

9:52 pm • Tuesday • February 24, 2009

@ragingmonk: That’s not the way the RNC operates. He will have an accident.

9:53 pm • Tuesday • February 24, 2009

@chicago bureau: Have we ever heard boos during a SOTU? Because I think they just came awfully close.

9:53 pm • Tuesday • February 24, 2009

@nojo: That’s it. Very sinister.
@chicago bureau: When the chick on NPR said “Bobby Jindal” was doing the responce, I thought at first she said “I’ll be gentle” doing the response. Which I found funny for some reason.
@Dodgerblue: FDIC is calling back people who worked on the great bank implosions of the early ’80s (Srsly, calling people up and saying “Bob, we got three banks closing Friday. Can you help us out?” and is sending new recruits out to close banks with 4 days of training.

9:54 pm • Tuesday • February 24, 2009

Plugz is wondering why he doesn’t get to deliver the zingers.

9:54 pm • Tuesday • February 24, 2009

$2 whatillion in budget cuts? Whaaaa? If those come out, we should just crown the man. In other words: not gonna happen.

Coming after no-bid and Star Wars. Hmmm.

9:54 pm • Tuesday • February 24, 2009

@nojo: Westminster system, I tells ya. Westminster.

9:55 pm • Tuesday • February 24, 2009

@Mistress Cynica: I remember vaguely talk that rising FDIC protection only encourages moral hazard among bankers.

9:55 pm • Tuesday • February 24, 2009

The GOP standing up on “not one dime.” He is owning this speech.

9:56 pm • Tuesday • February 24, 2009

Will Michele Bachman finish us off with her Xena-style back flips down the aisle, landing with her tongue down Barry’s throat, or is that only for a Republican POTUS?

9:56 pm • Tuesday • February 24, 2009

@rptrcub: Alas, we’re six years late for Question Time.

9:56 pm • Tuesday • February 24, 2009

@ragingmonk:
Well, there was that flipflop bit on FISA and Telco immunity. And still permitting a religious test in hiring for Faith Based Initiatives. And defending in court the Bush era executive state secrecy claims to deny torture victims their day in court. As well as defending Bush era invocation of state secrecy to protect rendition and torture. But he did come out four square against torture – unless – you know – we really really need it. Oh, and not disputing the Bush administration claims of executive privilege to keep Karl Rove from testifying to Congress. Other than that, its all good.

[links here]

9:57 pm • Tuesday • February 24, 2009

No more supplemental spending bills on the wars. I approve.

9:57 pm • Tuesday • February 24, 2009

“No longer will hide its price.” SNAP!!

9:57 pm • Tuesday • February 24, 2009

That last one, I thought they were gonna start a Wave.

And no, that doesn’t mean I wanna see Lieberman with his chest painted.

9:58 pm • Tuesday • February 24, 2009

@chicago bureau: You may be right. But don’t underestimate Steele’s abilities at self-loathing and self-destruction.

9:59 pm • Tuesday • February 24, 2009

@String Bikini Theory: Check. Check. Check. Check. Check.

We’ll catch up with all that soon enough. I was thinking of getting around to Bagram, but I’ve been preoccupied.

9:59 pm • Tuesday • February 24, 2009

What is the over/under vs length of time on Bill Clinton SOTU?

9:59 pm • Tuesday • February 24, 2009

@String Bikini Theory: SBT, good to see you! All points in agreement.

10:00 pm • Tuesday • February 24, 2009

We do not torture. And somewhere, Dick Cheney silently sheds a tear.

10:01 pm • Tuesday • February 24, 2009

McCain is sitting behind Lisa Jackson, new EPA head. There’s an odd couple.

10:02 pm • Tuesday • February 24, 2009
10:02 pm • Tuesday • February 24, 2009

@String Bikini Theory: While you’re crunching numbers, I’d be curious about a comparative words-per-minute.

10:02 pm • Tuesday • February 24, 2009

God, Hopey sure does know how to intonate correctly.

10:03 pm • Tuesday • February 24, 2009

@Original Andrew: The Bachmann tongue plunge! I wrote about it but forgot the psychosmoocher was still at large.

10:03 pm • Tuesday • February 24, 2009

One hour in, and finally the guest shout-outs. That might also be a record.

10:04 pm • Tuesday • February 24, 2009

nojo: There was a 15 minute delay getting everybody in the room — longer than usual. But you’re right.

10:05 pm • Tuesday • February 24, 2009

Hypocritical Congress gives standing O to Rich Boss who sells his bank and distributes it TO THE WORKERS! GOPers piss their pants at the very thought.

10:05 pm • Tuesday • February 24, 2009

@nojo:
Good point. I think he’ll come in under, but definitely get a higher word count. This’ll take a day or two.

10:05 pm • Tuesday • February 24, 2009

And a proud moment for the SC “education” system.

10:05 pm • Tuesday • February 24, 2009

SOTU guest shout-outs = Death Montage

10:06 pm • Tuesday • February 24, 2009

Fuck. I just got out of my legislative hearing. I’d rather be on my 2d martini wit’chu all and thinking about a 3d one instead of eating cold office pizza getting ready to prepare a briefing book for some gummit employees who lost all the shit we gave them over the years. Oh, and scan a bill and send it to my partner in Albuquerque . . . . sheet . . .have fun, guys.

10:06 pm • Tuesday • February 24, 2009

@Mistress Cynica: You should see the South Carolina Public TV (ETV) documentary about the SC school system, esp. schools like in Dillon and other rural places along the coast. Worse than you can imagine. I have the DVD of it.

10:07 pm • Tuesday • February 24, 2009

No snark about that little girl or I’ll come over there and smack you one.

10:07 pm • Tuesday • February 24, 2009

@Mistress Cynica: It is a strange art – and you have to know the protocols of working with the Treasury guys or the state agencies when they pull the charters. Almost folklorish. I mean, how many people have decommissioned a bank and placed its assets? They should have hired them as soon as Bush was handed the WH by the supreme court. The looting attends Bush presidencies as a matter of course. Hope this is the last one the states will have to endure.

10:08 pm • Tuesday • February 24, 2009

GOP forced to their feet for “wants it to succeed.” Eat it, Rush.
@redmanlaw: Bummer, dude.

10:08 pm • Tuesday • February 24, 2009

This man is the most talented politician we have ever seen. He is the greatest speaker I have ever seen, even better than Abbie Hoffman. He has me swooning. Swooning.

I am in tears again, like on election night, to see a presidential president, not just presidential, but more presidential than any president I have ever seen

10:08 pm • Tuesday • February 24, 2009

I just had a Hopegasm (TM).

10:09 pm • Tuesday • February 24, 2009

Up in five, Governor.

10:09 pm • Tuesday • February 24, 2009

@FlyingChainSaw:

Michele Bachman is too much of a national trauma to forget.

10:09 pm • Tuesday • February 24, 2009

50 minutes.

10:10 pm • Tuesday • February 24, 2009

@Mistress Cynica:

They thought it was “secede.”

10:10 pm • Tuesday • February 24, 2009

nojo: For his sake, I hope he was in a sound-proof room away from the teevee. He must have flop sweat that could power a hydro dam.

10:11 pm • Tuesday • February 24, 2009

@FlyingChainSaw: I actually attended several bank closings as a paralegal in OK in the 80s. It was weird to go in, have people step away from their desks, and start inventorying the contents while they were being escorted from the premises. The main thing my fashion-focused mind recalls is that the FDIC agents wore blue, and the lawyers wore gray. Every time.

10:11 pm • Tuesday • February 24, 2009

Love CSPAN. I can hear someone cackling like a hyena.

10:12 pm • Tuesday • February 24, 2009

@chicago bureau: It’ll be Nixon-Kennedy all over again.

10:12 pm • Tuesday • February 24, 2009

Kennedy was tongue tied and clumsy with his jokes, compared to this man.

Nixon! Johnson, bah.

Ford, Carter? oy.

Reagan, he at least sometimes had some dignity, a mediocre actor’s protrayal of what he thought of as presidential.

Clinton, nope, never completely dignified, always a bit too faux-folksy.

W?

This is the best I have ever seen. Intelligence, wit, eloquence, belief, all conveyed naturally, we are not watching a performance, with Clinton, we all knew they were brilliant performances.

I don’t think Obama is performing, he is just going out and being him.

10:13 pm • Tuesday • February 24, 2009

@ragingmonk:
I think it was the dramatic increase in thong references over the last fews hours that I could not resist. Welcome back.

10:13 pm • Tuesday • February 24, 2009

OK, not going to stay for the exorcist’s rebuttal… gotta talk to Mr. Cub on the phone before going back to studying for midterms… nite y’all. well, he ain’t picking up, so, meh.

10:13 pm • Tuesday • February 24, 2009

@chicago bureau: The problem with Responses is that they lack a studio audience. Bobby could deliver a stemwinder, and all we’ll hear are crickets.

10:14 pm • Tuesday • February 24, 2009

DEVELOPING HARD: Early release of Jindal’s speech just hit the wire. Inspirational opening line: “Quando omni flunkus, mortati.”

10:14 pm • Tuesday • February 24, 2009

I guess I had a Hope Out of Body Experience.

10:15 pm • Tuesday • February 24, 2009

@Promnight: It’s a performance. But unlike most contemporary politicians, he knows how to deliver a speech.

10:15 pm • Tuesday • February 24, 2009

@Mistress Cynica: Oh, God, Continental Illinois syndication victims? Be still my heart! The ones I’ve had knowledge of, the whole process was paramilitary. Wouldn’t doubt they had a color code for decommissioning exercises. Actually, when I’ve been to FDIC in DC, a lot of the guys were in blue blazers. May be like working for a regional bell operating company in 1977. Every manager has the same car and same style and color suits because that was the culture of the place.

10:16 pm • Tuesday • February 24, 2009

Wow, that room cleared fast. Does Vanity Fair have a tent outside?

10:16 pm • Tuesday • February 24, 2009

And he was fucking with the republicans, wasn’t he? Gently stabbing, ridiculing with an offhand remark, and then getting highflown and oratorical about forgetting “petty” issues to rise to a generational crisis.

He was slicing and dicing. Brilliant.

10:17 pm • Tuesday • February 24, 2009

@nojo: Its easier to perform if the character isn’t such a stretch for you.

10:18 pm • Tuesday • February 24, 2009

The speech was filled with plans that, if he gets half of them, would put him in very good stead. But his failures will loom larger. A bit of overpromising, to put it mildly.

10:18 pm • Tuesday • February 24, 2009

@Promnight: True enough. But when he slips into that MLK drawl, you know it’s no accident.

10:20 pm • Tuesday • February 24, 2009

It also helps if you are telling the truth as you sincerely believe, even if with skilled artifice, maybe what strikes me as the sincerity is simply the fact that Bush lied, baldly, about every single major issue he ever spoke of, he lied, in bad faith, knowing he was lying, for the purpose of conning the great unwashed while he and his plutocrat robber class got on with doing what they knew was best for us.

Its that he is telling the truth. Thats kinda inspiring.

10:21 pm • Tuesday • February 24, 2009

Passing note: Apparently Tweety decided not to run for senator because a friend confronted him with a Candidate moment. He had no clue what he’d do if elected.

10:23 pm • Tuesday • February 24, 2009

@FlyingChainSaw: I worked for the firm that represented Bill Patterson of Penn Square Bank fame. Got him off in OK, pleaded out in IL. A lot of the banks were part of the domino effect from PSB, which actually brought down Cont. Ill. Then when the S&L hell went down, we were local counsel for the FSLIC. Good times.

10:23 pm • Tuesday • February 24, 2009

Uh oh — here come Bobby!

10:24 pm • Tuesday • February 24, 2009

Strike One: the tie.

10:24 pm • Tuesday • February 24, 2009

Happy Mardi Gras? That means a drink, right?

10:24 pm • Tuesday • February 24, 2009

@chicago bureau: customary platitudes about how great it is to have a black president, in theory…

10:25 pm • Tuesday • February 24, 2009

“Why do I want to be Student Body President?”

10:25 pm • Tuesday • February 24, 2009

[VFX: Smile.]

10:26 pm • Tuesday • February 24, 2009

What is this personal back story bit? This is his stump speech. For real, kids.

10:26 pm • Tuesday • February 24, 2009

@Original Andrew: Wait – did Bachmann jump the Unicorn? I left the room to get a new printer cartridge.

10:26 pm • Tuesday • February 24, 2009

Note to speechwriters: Drop the ess’s.

10:26 pm • Tuesday • February 24, 2009

Jindal’s mother arrived in La 44 1/2 months pregnant? Is she an elephant? Also, since he was conceived in India, and since life of course begins at conception, doesn’t that disqualify him from being POTUS?

10:27 pm • Tuesday • February 24, 2009

The president’s strongest partners? All you people are going to do is to fucking obstruct.

10:27 pm • Tuesday • February 24, 2009

[VFX: Smile and chuckle. Damn the budget, do it!]

10:28 pm • Tuesday • February 24, 2009

@Mistress Cynica: I’m filing that one away for future use.

10:28 pm • Tuesday • February 24, 2009

Wait, WTF is up with Jindal’s exaggerated intonation? Why is he talking to me as if I’m fucking five?

10:28 pm • Tuesday • February 24, 2009

@nojo: OMFG, the stripes in the tie match up exactly with the stripes in the flag.
He is Barney Fife.

10:28 pm • Tuesday • February 24, 2009

The man has no sense of cadence or intonation like the Hopinator.

10:29 pm • Tuesday • February 24, 2009

The lesson in this experience? BOATERS MUST HAVE INSURANCE. HAVE TO HAVE IT. Don’t you know anything?

God damn it — folksy makes you look like a dumb hick. The voice doesn’t help either.

And here comes the co-opting!

10:29 pm • Tuesday • February 24, 2009

@flippin eck: He’s talking to Republicans, remember. He has to.

10:29 pm • Tuesday • February 24, 2009

I didn’t know Mad had an Indian edition.

10:30 pm • Tuesday • February 24, 2009

flippin eck: Because he is fucking nine years old.

Shit — I think we kinda need volcano monitoring. Those bastards need watching.

10:30 pm • Tuesday • February 24, 2009

Since monitoring volcanoes isn’t worth it, Bobby, why don’t we defund the National Hurricane Center? It’s a storm of wasteful spending.

10:30 pm • Tuesday • February 24, 2009

@chicago bureau: Translate this, if you can: Quantum materiae materietur marmota monax si marmota monax materiam possit materiari?

10:31 pm • Tuesday • February 24, 2009

rptrcub: LOLZ.

We can do anything. Wildlife in free-drilling zones? Not so much.

10:31 pm • Tuesday • February 24, 2009

@nojo: We need to register notamericanwhenlifebegan.com immediately.

10:32 pm • Tuesday • February 24, 2009

The Republicans have now dropped the extra “u” in nuclear but still are fucking up the word.

10:32 pm • Tuesday • February 24, 2009

@Mistress Cynica: A pal of mine from N’awlins told me he hasn’t the chin to be preznit.

10:32 pm • Tuesday • February 24, 2009

@blogenfreude: I refuse. I can do anything. But I won’t do that.

10:32 pm • Tuesday • February 24, 2009

I love hearing Republicans talk about Katrina…

10:33 pm • Tuesday • February 24, 2009

@blogenfreude: How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?

10:33 pm • Tuesday • February 24, 2009

blogenfreude: He hasn’t the chin, full stop. But that’s OK, because he can do anything.

10:33 pm • Tuesday • February 24, 2009

@blogenfreude: Gearheads I can accept. But Latin gearheads? Freak.

10:34 pm • Tuesday • February 24, 2009

Republicans for ethics, transparency, and honesty! Yay! Foxes for Chickens? Wolves for sheep?

10:34 pm • Tuesday • February 24, 2009

Apparently anyone can do anything. Congrats to the new 6th grad class president Bobby Jindal.

10:34 pm • Tuesday • February 24, 2009

I’m contributing $25 to Talibunny right now. We need her.

10:35 pm • Tuesday • February 24, 2009

[VFX: Nod head.]

10:36 pm • Tuesday • February 24, 2009

He never said, Bobby, that we can’t reverse this course. He said that if we didn’t act, we wouldn’t be able to. Rove lives.

10:36 pm • Tuesday • February 24, 2009

@Mistress Cynica: Dorothy Parker is spinning in her grave, dear Cynica, out of jealousy for your wit. Bravo, and the comeback, plus one infinity.

10:36 pm • Tuesday • February 24, 2009

I swear, this is like watching Max Headroom.

10:36 pm • Tuesday • February 24, 2009

Did he just say we have the most Brazilian economy? Not that he’s wrong there, but still…

10:37 pm • Tuesday • February 24, 2009

He’s stopped speaking. He really can do anything!

10:37 pm • Tuesday • February 24, 2009

The Most, the most, the most, the free-est. We are Americans. Wow! I am so. wow.

10:37 pm • Tuesday • February 24, 2009

@Mistress Cynica: Bingo – either you’re a CarTalk listener or a serious scholar. Or good w/ teh Google.

10:37 pm • Tuesday • February 24, 2009

@flippin eck:
Following an Obama speech is a losing game. I get the feeling they GOPers had a meeting and said “Whoever wants to give our rebuttal; take one step forward.” Everyone took a step back and Jindal was standing there.

10:37 pm • Tuesday • February 24, 2009

Sorry for silence…TimeWarner imploded shortly after the speech started. I’ll simply say that my favorite line is:

“Dropping out of high school is no longer an option. It is not just quitting on yourself, it’s quitting on your country.”

10:37 pm • Tuesday • February 24, 2009

Rachel Maddow babbling. Literally. Come on, Rachel! Talk. You can do ANYTHING!

10:38 pm • Tuesday • February 24, 2009

Living in Volcano land, I think that hurricane monitoring is wasteful, and I am sure to be intellectually honest, Governor Jindal would have to agree.

10:38 pm • Tuesday • February 24, 2009

@blogenfreude: That address is Stinque Plaza, Our Fair City, California.

10:38 pm • Tuesday • February 24, 2009

@nojo: Those were the days. What a spectacular big gay tranny mess popular culture was under Reagan.

10:40 pm • Tuesday • February 24, 2009

Seriously — the Tim Kaine Democratic response a few years back (“there is a better way!”) was bad. This was a total flunk job.

10:41 pm • Tuesday • February 24, 2009

Wah! I’ve missed everything tonight, because my neighbor’s PC broke and he asked me to help. And it took forever.
Well, guess I’ll just have to piece it all together from the comments…..

10:41 pm • Tuesday • February 24, 2009

@blogenfreude: I got my current job because I can read Latin. I have the 4″ thick Oxford Latin Dictionary, which was the Latin Prize I won in 10th grade, when needless to say, I had no friends.

10:42 pm • Tuesday • February 24, 2009

Replay on “deficit we inherited”: Who was the Republican who stood up?

10:44 pm • Tuesday • February 24, 2009

Gotta run! Red letter day for you beautiful Stinquers. Since we can do anything, we go play hoop. Laters.

10:45 pm • Tuesday • February 24, 2009

@String Bikini Theory: Srsly, Talibunny would have done a better job.

10:46 pm • Tuesday • February 24, 2009

@Mistress Cynica: Impressive.

10:46 pm • Tuesday • February 24, 2009

@chicago bureau: Et moi, gotta catch up with the chores I’ve been putting off all day…

10:51 pm • Tuesday • February 24, 2009
10:51 pm • Tuesday • February 24, 2009

@Mistress Cynica: You ever meet Mark Singer? Guy who wrote the book on Penn Square. Masterful piece.

10:52 pm • Tuesday • February 24, 2009

@rptrcub:
Yeah. And maybe too politically savvy to do it.

11:00 pm • Tuesday • February 24, 2009

@String Bikini Theory: Palin’s busy deciding which of the RNC’s clothes to sell to pay back Alaska for flying her campaign props kids all over creation.

11:16 pm • Tuesday • February 24, 2009

@Mistress Cynica: Brilliant.

@nojo: I thought the same. Let me know if I need to contribute to register that site.

11:17 pm • Tuesday • February 24, 2009

@FlyingChainSaw: Only at a book signing, but he did interview the attorneys for the book, which I thought told the story very well. It was funny to watch Oklahomans in the bookstore looking for people they knew in the index.

11:21 pm • Tuesday • February 24, 2009

@Mistress Cynica: How did you keep your chops up to read it? Did you study in secondary school and university?

11:28 pm • Tuesday • February 24, 2009

You have to watch this shit they posted on “Sadly No”.

Wow. Just wow. They are advocating, obliquely, an insurrection.

Atkisson Brigades.

11:34 pm • Tuesday • February 24, 2009

Was out at pub tonight.

The Daily Show brought on the KRAZEEEEEEEEE tonight. Two Revs, both batshit insane. Probably secret Atkisson Brigade commanders.

11:35 pm • Tuesday • February 24, 2009

@Tommmcatt, The Choice of a New Generation: Beck is a childish fool. What network is this? This is like Palin encouraging the Alaskan secessionist party. Beck needs to be staked to the ground through his knees and elbows (face up) and a portapotti chair planted over his face. If he is going to spew this kind of shit he is going to need a ready supply of feces.

11:43 pm • Tuesday • February 24, 2009

@FlyingChainSaw:

My thoughts exactly. The thing that blew my mind is that they were laying out a pseudo-intellectual framework for insurrection. “They’re going to take 90% of your income”; “The average Bubba knows the Constitution- they read it right through once a year-and as a consequence they know they are the one’s guarding the true rights of America”; and my personal favorite “True American millitary won’t shoot at them”. Unbefuckinglevable!

11:43 pm • Tuesday • February 24, 2009

Obama’s a total rock star! Bigger than Bono! He can say “fuck you GOP” and force them to applaud while doing it.

He should have charged for those autographs to help pay down the national debt.

Jindal not even cool enough for a garage band. I guess he had dumb things down for the base. Begging folks to “trust us this time” was really lame. This twit is the GOP Ace in the hole? What a sorry bunch .

11:55 pm • Tuesday • February 24, 2009

I still can’t believe he mocked volcano monitoring. Just… What? No. Sorry.

12:05 am • Wednesday • February 25, 2009

@Tommmcatt, The Choice of a New Generation: Nuts. Military personnel overwhelmingly chose the Democrat in the last election in terms of campaign contributions. This is literally fantastic. I mean you might as well have me and Promnight trading recipes on TV to prepare people for Cannibal Anarchy.

PNDB: “Remember, as long as their are houses standing, they’ll be wood to cook with. Don’t try cooking over burning tires. It’ll turn the meet rancid.”

FCS: “Great info, Promster. Question: when cities are laid to waste by all the dirty nukes that the Adkisson-Cummings Brigades will set off, hey, can we trust the meat from cadavers and domesticated we survivors will find there?”

The premise is insane, as well. Biker riots ensue because Bloomberg is paying more taxes? Yeah.

By the way, speaking of fuckwitted asswipes making insane claims based on no provable facts, Joe the Wife Beater’s book is out.

12:12 am • Wednesday • February 25, 2009

@FlyingChainSaw:

Already? Jesus. What is it, 5 pages of biography and 200 pages of Peanuts cartoons?

12:19 am • Wednesday • February 25, 2009

@FlyingChainSaw:

That would be a genius show, by the way….

12:40 am • Wednesday • February 25, 2009

@Tommmcatt, The Choice of a New Generation: I would totally watch it. I hear FCS barbecued panda is amazingly moist and tender.

@Tommmcatt, The Choice of a New Generation: That video totally creeped me out. I would be more worried, but I think only the hardest of the hardest wingnuts could even give that a passing interest. It must be sad to realize that the only people who are seriously listening to you have the IQ of rock salt.

I like the commenter that was like “2014 – I thought y’all were gonna take everything back over in 2012. You’re going to overthrow President Palin?” I am sure that their point is to get everyone so riled up that in 2012 they will sweep the Rethugs back into power to avoid this Mad Max style 2014, but still. That is one funny comment.

12:53 am • Wednesday • February 25, 2009

@IanJ: See, if the volcanoes in Alaska erupt with no warning and take out Palin, he has a clear shot at 2012. He’s verrrrry sneaky. Also he, unlike us, can’t see a volcano from his house–the ability to see something from your house being what makes you an expert on the subject in the GOP.

1:05 am • Wednesday • February 25, 2009

People. People. Old News Breaking so hard it could chip your tooth. But me an the OH just watched the Not 60 mins special on Barry Teh Road to da White House, and OMFG! He is… (cue choir) would he adopt me? I kept hoping maybe RML would do it if I dropped enough hints (email me at limeybahstid@gmail.com) but srsly.. if I could be part of the wonderment that is the Obama houseihold! BTW, has anyone noticed? Dude is cute. Tall and tan and long and lovely… And she is so… awesome. And together they are… awesomer! And the kids… Sash and Jenna… are so awesome! I’m lying here drenched in Hope®. It’s like Fashion Week and I got trapped in a tent in Bryant Park by a bunch of homos spritzing Eternity. I am soaked in Hope® and reeking of Optimism®. Booyah Hussein Obama! He will lead us out of the wilderness!

No, but srsly, I’d forgotten how awesome they are. We should all just STFU and let this crew get on with it because they seriously know what they are doing.

On a lighter note: I hear teh chimpster has snagged some speaking gigs: ie: he will try to stand upright and speak. I want to be there to pelt him with stale Little Betty cakes (like there’s any other kind?) and the blood-soaked bandages of those slaughtered in Iraq.

1:07 am • Wednesday • February 25, 2009

@Mistress Cynica: It’s all so clear now. So I must be an expert on… trees, clouds, rain, and my neighbor’s house. Sounds about right.

1:09 am • Wednesday • February 25, 2009

@fupduk: Word!

1:11 am • Wednesday • February 25, 2009

@Mistress Cynica: It’s like they’re auditioning for the star and all they got is the chorus. And Gertie Lawrence aint returning anyone’s calls.

1:28 am • Wednesday • February 25, 2009

@homofascist:

I would eat that little bitch in about 15 seconds without stopping for sauce. Did I say that already?

1:34 am • Wednesday • February 25, 2009

Whew… 277 comments. Is that a record?

1:35 am • Wednesday • February 25, 2009

As someone who lives relatively close to volcanos, I’m going to take the courageous position of being… um… all for their testing? What the double eff was that about anyway? I missed it.

Oh, and Woop! Woop! Jamie Bamber shirtless alert. He’s rocking the beautiful chest hair.

http://www.towleroad.com/2009/02/jamie-bamber-gets-naked-for-bears-2.html

1:49 am • Wednesday • February 25, 2009

And here’s one for our het Stinque brothers from Rio’s Carnival.

Check out those maracas!

http://www.boston.com/bigpicture/2009/02/carnival.html

2:04 am • Wednesday • February 25, 2009

@Original Andrew: Thank you. That helps to make up for the Stormy surge.
@Benedick: It’s like Fashion Week and I got trapped in a tent in Bryant Park by a bunch of homos spritzing Eternity.
I laughed so loud I scared the cats, and I laugh every time I reread it. That may be my favorite simile ever. Oh, how I adore you.

2:09 am • Wednesday • February 25, 2009

OK. Back at home with my baby and a martini watchin’ the Eagle on a re-run. Where’s the party?

2:10 am • Wednesday • February 25, 2009

@Original Andrew: Those carnival photos are amazing. I want to go to the Sambadrome!
So perhaps our recently returned missionary to Brazil raging monk can tell me if Rio “samba school”=NOLA krewe.

2:28 am • Wednesday • February 25, 2009

Samba + Brazilian Death Metal = Sepultura, “Ratamahatta”

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bLFymDPsvRc&feature=related

One of my all time fave tunes from the “Roots” album.

These guys could kick Slipknot’s ASS!

11:17 am • Wednesday • February 25, 2009

@Original Andrew: Oy! Those maracas are so lumpy. I’d be willing to bet she stuffed them with the street clothes she’ll change into for the bus ride home.

3:42 pm • Wednesday • February 25, 2009

@Prommie:
He is the greatest speaker I have ever seen
This guy, on that night, was the best I’ve ever seen:
http://www.americanrhetoric.com/speeches/mariocuomo1984dnc.htm
(There’s even a solidarity fist salute at 14:06).
Watch the whole thing (although there is a small missing section towards the end). Sometimes 1984 doesn’t seem that long ago.

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