Socks, 1989-2009

The Last Honest Press Secretary

Clintons bid farewell to Socks the cat, age 20 [MSNBC]

Oh no, a cat died. That only leaves about five thousand gazillion running around, including the one asleep here on my desk. I’ve taken far too many sick cats for that final trip to the vet to get worked up over Socks. They’re usually great pets but they sure don’t live forever.

New Bill Maher season in 10 minutes.

Man, 20 years. I’ve had a million cats, and none of them got close to 20. Socks musta led a pampered life. Good for you, Socks!

Maybe the Hilbot 9000 can make Socks into a hat and dash around the planet singing ‘Peace Train’.

The least annoying member of the Clinton family – RIP.

Cats are fungible, one is as good as another.

I am getting these Ann Coulter ads with this look from the Coulter that says: “I fuck the dead because they can stay stiff around me”

@Promnight: Very, very incorrect. You must have written that in jest.

@Ewalda: The older I get, the more I realize all people are the same, too, they just express their sameness differently. Its OK. I know that some cats have very unique attributes projected on them by their owners.

All of my cats, I know this, they like me because I feed them, and would eat me if there were no food and they could. But thats probably because I am an asshole.

@Promnight: Very nice parry. I’m left unable to agree or disagree.
Oh, except about the uniqueness of individual cats.

A few of the comments above strike me as gratuitously vicious (I mean you FCS!)

I’m a dog person and I never paid much attention to Socks but I’m sure he led a pampered life and that’s why he made it to the ripe old age of 20, and good for him. That’s successful evolution/adaptation in practice!

What disturbs me is that he was paw-ned off to an assistant after the First Fambly’s stint in the White House, like he was just some kind of political prop or easily-discarded souvenir.

Anyway, as cats go, I think he looks spunky and rambunctious and a good kitty overall. Socks, RIP.

@Ewalda: Cats are unique the same way humans are: The similarities vastly outweigh the differences, but you learn to appreciate the nuances.

@Ewalda: That makes me feel guilty, that you would call my response a “parry.” I was not trying to “win” the conversation, I don’t view conversation, communication, with my loved ones, which includes you, as a contest to be won or lost, only as a source of connection. I am lonely, I crave connection. My most common state is loneliness. I have noone, other than Mrs. Prom, who is a like soul to me in my everyday life, noone at all. Noone at all I can banter with the way I banter with you, Ewalda, and everyone here.

I’m so fucking desperately lonely.

I was callous in the cats are fungible remark, and I did try to just defuse, rather than confess to a joking, but callous, remark.

Your opinion does mean that much, that I am trying so hard to retain your good opinion, with this incoherent rambling defense of myself.

@Pedonator: I always thought Buddy was the prop, since America wasn’t ready for a pussy in the White House.

@nojo: We, the US American people, are the pussy in the White House (with apologies to all my favorite ferocious Pussies out there).

We voted for change and so far it’s looking like there’s little to spare.

@Pedonator: In fact, I’m gonna save all the change I find in the next four years, put it in an empty water-jug, and then take it to a Coinstar machine at the nearest supermarket just before the next election.

And then I’m gonna use those $$$ to lobby for universal healthcare, a reduction in defense spending, and significant investment in renewable energy research.

And then I’ll fly my pink (white) elephant to the moon and spend my twilight years with ALL THE CHEESE I CAN EAT!

@Pedonator: What’s the vigorish on those machines these days, 8%? Not a bad line of business.

@Pedonator: In a matter of weeks, staving neonazis will be climbing in through you windows and gnawing on your skull.

@FlyingChainSaw: Once they get past my skull they’ll find Slim Pickens and then the joke will be on them!

I really did not need to see a picture of a black and white kitty who died when my much beloved completely and totally unique B&W kitty is at the vet’s recovering from major surgery.
And now I’ll shut up before I completely go off on those who take a casual or callous attitude to the death of a cat who was far, far better that its owners, and say something I’ll regret. Like Fuck You. oops.

@Mistress Cynica: I hope your kitty comes out of it happy and loving and playful. I know I will be at that juncture with my puppy at some point and I can’t imagine how traumatic it will be.

FCS, sometimes (most times?) puppies and kitties are much more worthy than humans of our compassion. There’s a point where, with so much human-inflicted misery on display in history, you can only throw up your hands and say, “WTF?” And that’s exactly when we need our kitties and puppies.

Please, FSM, make Mistress Cynica’s kitty whole. Amen.

@Mistress Cynica:
oh no! i’m lighting candles, which of your fabulously named kittehs is sick? and i add my hearty FUCK YOU to anyone who says cats are not very special creatures, entirely unique, and as loving as dogs once you get friendly with one. they are NOT dogs and must be appreciated for the vastly different, but just as wonderful, species that they are.
i’m pining for my 2 cats as much as my 2 dogs, especialy the one that follows me everywhere, jumps onto my shoulder from the floor and sleeps on my head. the other is a princess and is visably nauseated at her overly affectionate brother. but she’s a purring cuddle lap kitty.
ADD: my beloved persian, naobi, died at 24.

@Promnight: Cats are not fungible. A few are awful, most are lovable, and a few are sublimely wonderful. We had a cat who was a bodhisattva. He died four and a half years ago at the age of 14. How I wish he could have made it to 20. Our cat-hating curmudgeonly old neighbor even allowed that “he’s the friendliest cat I’ve ever seen.” And when we boarded him the vet’s assistants always told me how much they enjoyed having him there. My husband used to refer to him as “my spiritual advisor.”

@baked: @lynnlightfoot: It is my Gwydion, who is also a bodhisattva. If I believed in anything religious, I would totally believe he stopped at the gates of Nirvana and came back to lead us toward enlightenment. He has done more to make me a better person than any person, book, or philosophy. His nickname is Buddha kitty, because he is the embodiment of loving kindness.

@Mistress Cynica: When I wrote my comment to Promnight above, I hadn’t read any farther in the thread than his “cats are fungible” comment. May your cat come through its ordeal safe and sound and feeling much better!

@Mistress Cynica: Gwydion is a splendid name. Long may he prosper.

I’m no cat lover, but I understand the feelings folks have for their cats so no comments from me about that.

Oddly most cats welcome me. I house sat for friends who have cats a few times and I treat them with indifference. After a couple of days of indifference I’d wake up with cats sleeping on my chest or draped on my body and they won’t leave me alone after that. In a not unrelated fashion, I had nightmares of being roasted alive in a purring fur suit.

Does not help that I am Allergic to long haired cats as well.

@ManchuCandidate: Cats ADORE indifference. It’s the pushy/friendly types they have no use for. Neediness inspires scorn, aloofness gains respect. Sort of like dating. And the fact that you’re allergic made you irresistible. I generally have at least 3 cats sleeping on me, so I’m not sure if my night sweats are hormone related or not.

@Mistress Cynica: FCS has to give everyone a reason to kick him in the balls when we finally meet him in person. Just make sure you wear pointy shoes.

Kiki sends Gwydion her best.

@Mistress Cynica: Back when Oregon had its once-in-a-lifetime earthquake, I thought it was the cats jumping on the bed.

I don’t know that cats adore indifference, but they’re not pack animals, and they’re going to make up their own minds about you. I’m actually quite pushy/friendly around cats, but in the context of the cat’s perception, not mine — they’re fun to engage, just like kids.

Same with dogs, in that respect. There’s a new Weimaraner next door, and he spent a couple minutes barking at me as I walked by the other day. So I just stood there, letting him exhaust himself. And then he ran off and brought back a toy for me to throw.

@Mistress Cynica: I let them come to me. If they don’t want to have anything to do with me, that’s cool. Ziggy sends purrs to Gwydion.

I refuse to be manipulated by the Clinton PR machine. You think Ma Clinton and L’il Abner ever saw the cat? You think they even knew they had a cat until some press White House twit decided to write a press release announcing they had a cat – to make them appear human-like – and then he realized he had to run out and get one to show the photographers?

@FlyingChainSaw: But that is why a cat is a perfect pet for them. Because cats don’t give a fuck as long as there is someone around to feed them and provide occasional body heat. I am sure “the help” in the Clinton household grew quite fond of Socks.

@homofascist: As a matter of fact, Betty Currie, Bill’s secretary, took Socks with her when the Clintons left the White House. That’s who he was living with when he died.

@Mistress Cynica: Right. They abandoned the cat. And then they issue a press release to take credit for taking care of the cat. It’s twisted.

@FlyingChainSaw: No, no, no — Buddy was the PR ploy, because kitties aren’t manly enough for the American President. (We don’t care whether the Prez is human, as long as he has ballz.) Socks was Chelsea’s cat, back in Arkansas.

@Mistress Cynica: @FlyingChainSaw: I didn’t read the article first. The press release is a little…um…ugh.

@nojo: A cat would support the popular theory that Hillz is a super secret lesbian.

Buddy was actually a gift from Cristine Todd Whitman. Promnight said he heard her say how much the dog hates the Caligutard. The cover story is that Socks was Chelsea’s cat. If the cat was hers, it would not have been abandoned to the lady who scheduled Bill’s blow jobs.

@nojo: Socks was Chelsea’s cat, back in Arkansas.

@FlyingChainSaw: You have a good memory; we thought we were getting the secret inside shit, but then she put it all in the book.

@homofascist: I thought lesbians had dogs, and gays had cats? (And both are secret-muslim-abortionists-pyromaniacs-anti-marriage-activists)

Oh modern life is getting so confusing!!

Dogs look up to you

Cats look down on you

Pigs is equal

ancient Limey saying

But it’s true. Think of how our near relations (all we mammals are near relations) are…

I can’t do this. Think what a veal chop means in terms of terror and agony.

@Benedick: 99% of the meat most people eat is cultivated in concentration camps under the most horrifying conditions. I don’t have a moral problem about eating other animals, but the industrialized machine that produces meat is insanely cruel.

Without even going into those videos of slaughterhouse workers joking and laughing while they deliberately torture the animals, our society’s food production is a prime example of how fucking sick we are.

The way we produce our grains, fruits and vegetables is only slightly less obscene.

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