That’s All, Folks!

Welcome to the United States of Acme.

Overture! Curtains! Lights! This is it! The Final Blight!

Porky and Daffy welcome you to our final Open Thread/Dropped Jaw of the Bush Administration’s War on English. We hear that Shrub is only going to annoy us for ten or fifteen minutes tonight, but hey, we wanted to send him out in style. We recommend a plexiglass shield before throwing shoes at your television.


Are they showing this on the Tubez? I can’t find it…

@SanFranLefty: All four networks on the East Coast. Out here, check the cable nets. Show starts at the top of the hour.

[Hank Paulson opens door, enters room]

I just wanted to say good luck. We’re all counting on you.

[Hank exits room, closes door]

I’m headed home, so I’ll check the thread when I get there. I refuse to watch, so I’m counting on youse guys to cover the basics.

@nojo: I’m at work, sitting at my computer trying to finish a motion.

I have to read Judy Moody with the kidz…no “My Pet Goat” on hand.

[Hank Paulson returns to room]

I just wanted to say good luck. We’re all counting on you.

[Hank exits again]

@chicago bureau: Looks like something’s about to hit the fan.

Copyright infringment on the usage of Hope (TM).

“Tonight I am filled with gratitude to Vice President Cheney.”

And… there goes the first shoe!

“I remember reading My Pet Goat and shitting my pants.”

“Every morning I received a briefing on the threats to our nation.”

And, um, started paying attention to them.

OH God, is it over? Did I miss it? (Please say yes.)

“A young democracy that is slowly reverting back to the Taliban.”

And the attacks in Madrid, London, Bali, etc. don’t count, if you’re keeping score at home.

@RomeGirl: No, he just claimed how he kept the nation safe since 9/11.

@SanFranLefty: MSNBC always has great live feeds, btw.

“Total obedience to an oppressive ideology.”

Hi, Karl!

George W. Bush: protecter of wimmin. Lord.

Promoting human rights? Man — there is no on/off switch on this guy.

@nojo: Well if that were the criteria, there’s tons of shit I’ve done since 9/11 that was awesome, too.

I’m reversing the game: Drink when he tells the truth. Otherwise we’ll all be dead in ten minutes.

Challenges to our prosperity were met? Really now.

Eight minutes in, and no cutaways to Our Heroes in the audience?

“You may not agree with the decisions I made.” No shit!

Enemies are lurking, btw. Keep that in mind, y’all.

@chicago bureau: Next week’s terrorist attack is Barry’s fault.

@RomeGirl: Last time I checked they had a live feed of the plane sinking in the Hudson in the dark.

“This nation must continue to speak out for justice and truth.”

Starting Tuesday.

Moral clarity? Good and evil are present in this world, and there can be no decision between the two?

Like, wow, dude.

And Jefferson speaks from the grave: “speak for yourself, good sir.”

Hero No. 1 = Guy who set up a post-Katrina school. I see what he did there.

“Sixty year old soldiers? Message: I care”

The best of this country have been wasted on Dubya. For real.

[Hank Paulson enters again]

I just wanted to say good luck. We’re all counting on you.

[Hank exits again]

May the next time we see you be during your indictment hearing.

*sniff, sniff*

I already forget what he looks like!

@SanFranLefty: Do you think he shat himself when they told him about the plane in the Hudson?

Dear President Bush:

Thanks for nothing, jackass.

Warmest regards–
The Angry Left

Tweety quotes Shakespeare. That’s better than Blago and dead poets.

And Brian Willams cuts away to the Hudson. All class.

I think he wrote that speech in 2003, and forgot to update it.

Tweety’s boldness at the end of the worst eight years ever is sickening.

Hey – alla you going to thing next week, look for Stephen A Smith from ESPN. He said he’ll be there,

Missed the speech, btw. Republicans are not allowed on my TV. I am surprised Mrs RML has not slain me over that.

@nojo: No, HE JUST SUCKS. God DAMMIT he is the WORST president EVER. Don’t let the door hit you on the way out.

Did anyone see Dana Perino on the Daily Show? It was the first time I had ever heard her speak, and I was HORRIFIED. What kind of a president would want her to be the voice of his administration?? I mean, she’s no CJ Cregg, but come ON.

redmanlaw: A wise policy. I approve.

Oh, and threadwin to Dear Leader Nojo:

“Total obedience to an oppressive ideology.”

Hi, Karl!

Tears of AWESOME.

Fucking cabbie had it on … could not avoid listening to half of it. Did he really say “people dying from AIDS brought back to life”?

People. Let me cut to the chase. As of Tuesday we are going to have a president who knows how to properly knot a TIE!!!! There should be a pleat. How is that so difficult? In Hopey’s 1st official portrait he has a nice pleat in his tie because Michelle knotted it for him and he looks like a man who knows his way around. Tonight Bunnypants is all WalMart and Texaco.

Tragic? Him? As if.

Meanwhile, Eric Holder was today’s other hero when we weren’t looking: “Waterboarding is torture.”

I can’t hear/see it as I am still at work. But, um, Fuck Bush anyways.

Did someone lock Hank Paulson out? He hasn’t come back in yet.

@blogenfreude: Let’s check the text

“We are standing with dissidents and young democracies, providing AIDS medicine to bring dying patients back to life…”


nojo: Straight-up killer, that Holder guy. He said in five seconds what everybody in the Bush Adminstration knew for seven years but categorically denied.

If the GOP filibusters this guy over Marc Rich, God help ’em.

BTW: Robert Hager on MSNBC reporting on a good crash landing. This is new.

@nojo: He said it … I need another drink.

Piece of shit. All I want out of him is a shrieking cry for mommy as the noose tightens around his neck and the kids leap to swing grab his feet for a free ride. Best organized crime front-man to bust out a democracy, the Caligutard.

i did not watch either, i’m posting from the edge as it is.
the next time i want to see that face is perp walkin.

@chicago bureau: Everyone cuts away to the Hudson.

Oh, except “America’s HQ” Fox. Which makes ten more seconds of Billo than I’ve ever watched, outside of Colbert and Keith coverage.

baked: No. But AIDS may be his road back to glory, perhaps — if he looses himself from the religious right. I mean, he never has to get elected again, so he never has to pander to them again.

Of course, though, the religious right is the only crowd that likes the guy right now. And so if he comes out in favor of condoms, without regard to the joke that is abstinence education, he might lose them. Too much to hope for, perhaps.

@baked: I suspect that, with the abstinence-only nonsense, he caused more AIDS than he “cured” – cured meaning that he got people the drugs they needed to control it.

Thank those of you who monitored this and reported, you have stronger stomachs than I do.

Let me tell you this. Its a fact that gives me comfort. The swaggering psychopath, people like Bush, when they are acting most cocky and triumphant, are a seething mess of resentment and rage inside. They are deeply unhappy. He says he does not care for public opinion polls, he is full of shit, he wants our adoration more than anything. His first inauguration, when crowds booed and called him “thief,” and egged his limo, that stung him so bad, honest to God, that got under his skin more than anyone gives credit, it probably was a large cause of his assholiness the last 8 years. He’s a petulant child inside, he feels the slights, the more he acts cocky, the more its stinging inside.

The thing about a pyschopath is that they have a need for adoration that is insatiable. In their twisted mind, a psychopath is always deeply resentful that the world does not recognize their specialness, their genius, and that is their internal justification for their misbehavior. They perceive their situation as a massive injustice that justifies their evil acts as retaliations.

The average psychopath is a wreck, unsuccesful and angry about it. This psychopath achieved the status of most powerful human being in the world, and you would think that perhaps this is the first time a psychopath ever actually achieved the level of acclaim they think they are entitled to. But remember, its an insatiable need, even as president he chafed, and was enraged, by criticism. The psychopath needs adoration, and this need can never be satiated.

Now, this psychopath who was elevated to the highest level, is losing that. He is going to face a comedown greater than any ever faced by an ex-president.

His life, internally, is going to be a hell you and I cannot imagine. Every success of Obama’s will cut him like a knife. Every day, when he thinks back to when he was king of the world, will be a misery to him.

I honestly do not believe he will survive long. He will descend deeply back into his alcoholism, and become the most embarrassing ex-president in history.

Something will happen; he will die young of some bizarre cause, he will drink himself to death, he will go batshit insane, he will be divorced, become embroiled in some insanely embarrassing scandal or another, sexual, criminal, whatever. This man will not survive the loss of the power that an accident and a criminal conspiracy bestowed upon him.

And tonight, with his last public appearance done, our national embarrasment is over.

I think this great moment deserves some kind of an annual celebration. How about a statue of Bush in the capitol with hinges on the feet?
Every year, we can pull it down and hit him on the head with shoes.

@Promnight: Actually, it’s not the success of Obama that will cut deepest. It’s the inferior comparisons to Poppy. No matter what, he’ll never live up to the old man’s expectations. I’ll bet AcheDubya’s statement that he’d like Jeb to run for president must’ve killed him.

The failure. It burns.

@Jamie Sommers: Bush = Epic Fail. The term should be retired with him.

@Promnight: I really want you to be right. My prediction has always been that he’ll die old and content in his bed, kept alive by our tax dollars that pay for his healthcare.

@Promnight: True. But I think you grant him too much stature by calling him a psychopath. He doesn’t have the passion. He has absolutely no conception of his own shallowness. He’s like a bus-and-truck version of prince Charles. A clueless dimwit who’s been told his whole life how wonderful in every way he is. But dying young. Never thought if that. We’ll see.

@blogenfreude: He knows way too much. CheneyCo will probably have him disposed of in the next 2-3 months. Sudden alcohol poisoning episode, cardiac arrest, gun shot accident. Poppy will understand. He was DCI once. He knows the score.

@FlyingChainSaw: They’re gonna regret elevating so many young incompetent twatwads to big positions, too. Some of these snivelling shits will start to think they can cash in by telling all, they have no honor, it was all about grabbing what you can anyway. Lotta people may have to end up dead of an overdose in some hotel room, thats the Bush family’s favorite assasination technique.

@Benedick: Have you ever met them, Benedick, the entitled young republicans? Its more than just the effect of constant adulation by starfuckers, with these people. Its imprinted on them from childhood. Its a deep and pervasive sense of absolute superiority and entitlement. They judge people openly on “breeding” and “pedigree.”

Its not a “truck and bus” version of Royalty, its identical in every respect. Many of these people have more money than the Queen. They literally feel themselves entitled to rule by reason of birth and inbred superiority to people like Bill Clinton, who does he think he is, why, he’s the son of a common whore.”

Thats what happened to him, you know. The DC aristocracy, the right kind of people, and their toadies, the DC press, who fawn and toady to the Establishment because it lets them into the good parties, they become part of it, and they get to look down their noses, too, at the rubes from Arkansas, why, the cheek of them, how presumptuous. That was class warfare, america’s aristos turning on a social climber.

It’s almost like a Greek tragedy. The deus ex machina of airliner crashes in New York City bestowed malevolent life to the Bush administration in the first place. Tonight the pitiful finale of his once-dominant presidency was completely overshadowed by another airliner crash in New York City. Kharma can be a real bitch.

@Dave H: I was thinking of that looking at a picture of them standing on the wing. Miraculously, mundanely, they go home and have cocoa and tell their families about the big adventure in a failling plane in NYC. If only the original four kamikaze flights had ended so ended so innocuously.

I will believe that Bush/Cheney are truly gone at 1pm EST on January 20, 2009, when the power truly has transferred to Hopey. Until that time, I don’t believe nor trust a word they say.

Pretty accurate description of the type.

I went to what is considered the Canada City equivalent of a Top Shelf Ivy League college/university and spent time with the smarter offspring (no legacies in Canada City) of said assholes. Any friends I still keep in contact with weren’t from that group.

My mom occasionally shows off her high born roots when she talks about me marrying into “good” families. I used to get mad, but now I just roll my eyes.

@AARPrick: You haven’t been around as much as you should be. Say more, that was great. Its true, it ain’t over until the fat lady sings; and there is this: the only time a Bush is ever gracious, is when they know they have the drop on you.

@Promnight: Depends on how well CheneyCo compartmentalized their programs. They had to waste Connell because he literally knew where the data is, had to to organize scams like the 2004 Ohio vote count resetting scam. I hope he left something with his wife that could point to his murderers, if she hasn’t already been theatened into silence..

@AARPrick: You think that’s going to be the end of it for them? No doubt, the RNC and CheneyCo have been plotting every hour since the election to throw the country and the Obama Administration into complete chaos, working through offshore assets. Expect a false flag attack within weeks of the inauguration with Cheney showing up every night thereafter on CNN condemning Obama for his sympathetic relationship with his Al Qaeda colleagues emboldening their terrorism.

Hey, TJ, but really, I would like to hear from you all on this, go here:

Watch that. And come back and tell me what you felt watching that.

With me, its the most amazingly complicated and conflicted mix of emotions I have ever felt.

Anyone else have anything like that response?

@Promnight: Tension, but some ease. Camera wasn’t low enough, but Lennon made like he was pulling his underwear out of his ass b/c it crept up there. Vintage.

@Promnight: There is absolutely no conflict in my emotions as regards the Beatles. Except for solo Paul. I bought my son the DVD to Yellow Submarine when he was only 2, and at 8 he can do a passable keyboard mimic of “Hey Bulldog”; singing along to “Help” and “Hey Bulldog” are the greatest father-son joys we share, matter of fact.

@blogenfreude: See, with me, it was simultaneously a return to, and alienation from, youth. See, the beatles, I only know them from when they were older, and I do idolize them, but I have never actually seen footage of them before from when they were young.

Now, I am feeling old, seeing music from when I was young, but which I didn’t know till I was old, music which returns to me, and makes me miss again, that youthful energy and blind hopefulness, and the old men I know I see here young, and its all so confusing, and they were better than people say, live, and their music is not at all studio stuff, they could rock, and I am old, and they were kings of the world at 20, and I am lost and desperate at 47. Like I said, a confusing mix.

Like, they were talking to different people at a different time and from a different perspective, and I am now looking at their music from a different perspective and time, and just to confuse it, here are the young Beatles before me, when all my life they were older than me. That might be the most jarring thing. The Beatles I remember from my earliest memory, their first fame, 1963 to 1965, covered my 2nd through 5th year, but I remember them. When I was a child, they were men. Now, here I am, not just a man, but growing old, and here are the Beatles, before me, almost children, and yet, even as childen, at 20, their fucking genius makes me despair.

No mixed emotions at all. It’s a crack band at its peak playing a great tune. Smooth, powerful performance. Good mix. Hard to believe that Rubber Soul and Revolver were just around the corner and that Sgt Pepper was only three years off.

I’m more conflicted by METALLICA being named to the Rock and Roll Hall of Fames this week in their first year of eligibility twenty five years after release of their first record. I just saw them in October and they were great. Here’s a fan video (with good sound) of them in London playing “That Was Just Your Life” from the new CD “Death Magnetic” about three weeks before I saw them. There’s some fucking thrash going on here.

ADD: Son of RML and I were on the floor and yes, that was our view of the show. We was that close. Also, they do enter to a recorded version of the song, then go live, as they did in ABQ also.


@AARPrick: Where the fuck have you been? Where is your bare chest? Don’t be a stranger, sugar!

/off to find longjohns to pack for my trip East. Why can’t the U.S. Capitol be in Kah-lee-for-nya where it’s warm.

Colbert just asked David Gregory an OW, SNAP! question. Impressive.

@SanFranLefty: I am looking forward to the near tropical temperatures of DC compared to this bullshit I am in now.

I couldn’t bring myself to watch.

So Caligutard calmly informed the rapt audience that he and Darth Cheney will be wrapped up like mummies, soaked in gasoline then set ablaze on the National Mall as all 3,000+ of their current and former administration appointees throw themselves onto the largest flaming funeral pyre in world history, right?

@Original Andrew: I’ll pitch in to buy them carbon credits.

Talk about “oh, snap” moments, I give you my favorite passage from the NYT account of the speech:

Mr. Obama may not have seen it; at precisely 8 p.m., when Mr. Bush began speaking, he departed Blair House, the presidential guest house opposite the White House where he and his family are staying, for a restaurant a few blocks away.

That’s right, Chimpy: You Don’t Matter and No One Cares.

TJ almost worthy of its own thread if Nojo doesn’t have material for tomorrow:

Vote Now, Vote Early, Vote Often for your favorite definition for the word “saddlebacking” a la “santorum” courtesy of everyone’s favorite Seattle sex columnist.

And, if I may be so bold, may I recommend Nomination Option #5:
5) “Saddlebacking” should be the term for the phenomenon of Christian teens engaging in unprotected anal sex in order to preserve their virginities. “After attending the Purity Ball, Heather and Bill saddlebacked all night because she’s saving herself for marriage.”

Vote for your favorite definition from the list of nominees by sending an e-mail to You must include “saddleback” and the number of your preferred definition in the subject line to have your vote count (“saddleback: 1,” “saddleback: 2,” etc.). Vote now!

So send an email with the subject line “Saddleback 5” to the above email address.


SFL and Mr. SFL

@SanFranLefty: Now that’s funny.

Reading site now… Is it just me or is it irritating when someone writes ‘discomfort’ when they mean ‘discomfit’? It probably is just me. K.

redmanlaw: Good that Metallica made it in. But Chubby Checker got snubbed again (like he did last summer) by the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame Veterans Committee. Bastards.

(But also: they have a better excuse than the Baseball HOF Veterans Committee, given the amount of drugs consumed.)

@chicago bureau: And, speaking of drugs and the Hall of Fame, Mark McGwire will never make it to Cooperstown, so there is some justice in the world.

@mellbell: Will JNOV’s heartthrob Dave Mustaine of Megadeth, kicked out of Metallica for doing too many drugs, ever make the RNRHOF?

@Benedick: @Mistress Cynica: I’m with you both. And so is Mr. Lightfoot. It is nice to live with someone who loves language as much as I do. I recently read an essay by Gary Snyder (written ca. 1991, but I had never seen it before a couple of weeks ago) that discusses language as “part of the wildness of Mind” and “a wild system born with us.” Those of us who love to go play in it find it hard to understand how anyone could confuse “discomfort” and “discomfit.” That’s like seeing an ivory-billed woodpecker and chalking it up on your life list as a pileated.

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