Hunting for PUMAs

I’m trying to figure out a way to spell the noise I just made when I saw this post, I dunno but it was like three syllables and had mostly vowels.

@drinkyclown: It’s a good thing I was halfway through my first cocktail when I found this video. The Talibunny must be very proud.

It’s the Great Pumpkin!

Ashley Todd’s proud relative, I’m sure.

Ahh, stinquers, my snark has died, I am numb with hope for what happens after the inauguration. So I have to get all honest and serious and shit. When I am out and about in life, and I see a person like this woman, unattractive, socially maladroit, lonely, bitter, sad, like everyone, but worse, I feel such a huge, enveloping sadness. These people were screwed from the get-go. They had no choice in the matter. They are not fat because they are gluttons, they are just poor sad deficient people. I’m OK looking, not embarrasing, smart, socially clumsy but OK, I am average, these poor people don’t have anything, they were not born with any desireable or attractive traits. You see, I grew up the much younger brother of 3 sisters. Two are movie stars. One looks excatly like Cybil Sheppard, when she was pretty, the other looks like Amelie. One was homecoming queen, one was captain of the cheerleaders, prom queen. I played with tiaras when I was 8 and 10, they would leave the tiaras they won laying around the house.

But my other sister, the youngest, she was more like this woman. She was heavyset, she did not have their beauty. She was smarter, oh yes, decidedly. But you know how it goes. I imagine her childhood, these two beauty queen older sisters, and you are the embarrassing ugly one. I imagine it killed her, wounded her so badly, she was never going to have a hope. She is a drug addict, her life is a tale of woe and sad pathetic mental illness and drug abuse.

A stronger person may have overcome it, but not everyone is strong anough for it if they are dealt a bad hand. She could not do it.

And so many millions more who just get by, the back room secretary who works for 30 years at a law firm, lonely, sad, so many people, lonely, sad.

Its so hard when you are gifted, even if your differences made social development hard ( I think many Stinquers were there), what is life like for someone just born dumb and ugly?

Oh, I do so hope that there is someone for everyone and that everyone is beautiful to someone, I so do hope. It would be a crime if that were not true.

@Promnight: Even if she looked like Beyonce, the content is beyond crazy. That’s the point. But I hear you – my best friend’s sister looks similar, but has a cleft palate as well. Mid-forties, she’s a bitter bitter person. Sadly, she adopted a kid (w/ a cleft palate) and is now passing that bitterness on to him.

Obviously has shared DNA from some Wal-tards ™

@Promnight: I wonder if birth order has something to do with it, in terms of how you handle it. I have two aunts. One is downright ugly but extremely intelligent and is the eldest child. The other was Miss Florida when she was 18, and is the youngest. The ugly sister graduated from Duke, married an unbelievably gorgeous man, had a very successful career as a CPA, and had two sons, one of whom is the most gorgeous person I’m related to, and one of the 10 most beautiful people I’ve ever met. The younger sister married a rich man, had the life of a socialite, two average-looking children, and serious problems with bi-polar disorder and alcohol. Not sure where I’m going with this, maybe just wanted to point out that sometimes the smart, ugly girl finishes first.

@Promnight: That’s why we have to be compassionate and treat people with respect.

Except for right wing assholes, of course. Make it hell on earth for them.

@redmanlaw: Good point – anyone who holds up a McCain/Palin sign invites derision.

@Promnight: You are sweet, and I’m sorry I was bagging on her looks, but she’s the one who took it on TV to ramble and cry. I mean, I’m crazy but I don’t broadcast that.

@Mistress Cynica: Your aunt’s gorgeous son.. might he want to have a career in the theatre?

I could do coaching.

@Promnight:
On a certain level I agree. I’m no looker so I’d be throwing stones from an ugly glass house here and I don’t like picking on “dumb” people either.

Overall though I agree with Bloggie. The crazy is the problem and just amplifies everything else.

@ManchuCandidate: I’ll try and find a really hot PUMA to bring teh crazy next time. I promise.

She lost my pity somewhere around Florida and Michigan.

@nojo: Such as.

@nojo: We all know that Florida and Michigan were crucial in this last election, so she has a point. And no doubt we’ll see how the new stimulus package slights those states vis-a-vis payback. The machine takes care of itself.

I was finally able to watch the video, and all I can say is, “Fat, bitter, and stupid is no way to go through life, ma’am.”

I wish I could go for the low hanging fruit, which of course would be:

“Mom?”.

But in my case highly inappropriate.

I don’t think it is right to make fun of someone’s appearance. That being said, the first word to pop into my head was “jowls”. Judge me harshly and do your worst.

@Promnight: I think she really hasn’t surrendered to her anger to an extent to which she could really enjoy it. Imagine her casting off the chains of normalcy or the tyranny of attempting to live by its dictates and just took it the fuck out. Shave her head. Tattoo ‘Hillary is 44’ on her face. Get rid of the clothes and go around in a American flag diaper. Stand across the street from the White House shouting obscenities at Obama after the inauguration. PajamasTV would send her to Israel, too.

@homofascist: I’m just thankful that such an uncouth, uneducated, non-latte-sipping mouth-breather has more jowls than me. Thus can I enjoy the bittersweet vivre of elitism.

@homofascist: Sis?

I’m sorry, but I have to go there…

Didn’t people learn NOT to drink the kool-ade after Jonestown?

@homofascist: No, the low hanging fruit would be “WTF is the Japanese Whaling fleet fucking around in Antarctica for when this one is just begging for a harpoon? ”

But that would be just overly cruel.

@homofascist: @CheapBoy: Now you’re both just being nasty. Which gives me cover to wonder how one of the Hobbits escaped from the Weta Workshop.

That was super depressing, and Prommie put the nail in it for me. This was probably the biggest moment of her life.

@CheapBoy: That did it, that broke me free from my momentary spasm of compassion. And she ain’t got no neck either, does she? “She?” Its Pat, if thats a she, that was one of those decisions the docs have to make at birth, apparently, when things are ambiguous, the presumption is, “better a big clit than a tiny penis.”

This kind of reminds me of a substitute teacher I once had. Knew how to take down the troublemakers, but couldn’t teach worth a damn — subbing is a tough gig, obviously, but there were better ones out there for sure.

Oh: and she was just about the ugliest woman I have ever seen. Her weight didn’t help, but she wasn’t enormous. But you can’t diet away ugly. Worse yet: her husband (high school football ref, Sunday school teacher) was fugly as well, and dull as dishwater. One class, he slow talked his way through the MLK March on Washington speech in this totally uninspiring drone. “I have a dream. Today.” And they had a kid who combined together the ugly and the dull in this big pile of SUCK.

The question is: was she happy? She (they) very well may have been. There was this enthusiasm about her — she asked me comment allez-vous? as if it were her dying breath and the key to the Universe hung in the balance. Through the thick glasses and the time-killing trivia from a sub, I kinda appreciated her. (Partly because the kids in the back of the room, trying to take advantage of a free pass, were getting on my nerves.)

Anyways. Clothing may be a product of your income, location or needs. Being out-of-shape may be down to kid wrangling or injuries you bear silently (of many kinds, really) or work or something else. (To be really harsh on myself — lying on the couch instead of going to the gym does have certain benefits, but also has costs.) Appearance may be hindered by time, pressure, or both. But the one thing you can always control is what comes out of your mouth.

The first time I saw this video, I thought that was a dude.

It’s hard for me to snark on this person cuz it’s just so pathetic and sad. I mean, with a last name like Beagle, the jokes have just been writing themselves for all 40+ of her years I’m sure.

Woof.

Now, you know Uncle Tommmcatt loves to make the ugly jokes, but this is just, well, too easy. Low hanging fruit, I am above it, all that.

Oh, GOD, no, no, no I’m not, I can’t help it, It’s a sickness, I just have to…

Who is she? The love child of Ernest Borgnine and Devine?

WHEW. Much better now.

Is that her neck or did she just make a wrap out of an elephant seal?

She must have gotten the idea for the video standing in line at the car wash for a shower.

@Tommmcatt Yet Again: I think she would easily pass, if she wanted to join the herd basking on the beach.

@Tommmcatt Yet Again: Don’t fight it. Holding in the snark causes cancer.
True story.

Yay.

I’ve once again found some of my favorite commenters EV-ER while surfing the links from the War Of The Bitterz.

If you want some more chuckles from this creature,
she hosted a Houston Public Radio call-in show that was a complete disaster. Even the station’s PD issued something of an apology on their website.

Good to see the familiar names. Enjoy the links.

@FreshCliches: We formed our own exclusive conclave just like Atlas Shrugged, yet somehow the world didn’t come crashing to a halt.

@FreshCliches: Hey! Welcome – it is great to have you here.

@nojo: Who is Stinque Galt?

@homofascist: Thanks! Consider this place bookmarked and subscribed. Is Megan still on the collective radar? I miss that rack her.

@Tommmcatt Yet Again: Must. Control. Coffee. Spew.

@FreshCliches: awesome! We were lacking in fresh.

@FreshCliches: Thanks for the hilarious links.

@FreshCliches: Welcome back. Uhm, the Megan situation is complicated.

@rptrcub: No worries. I’ll just treat it as if it were one of teh gehz in the military.

That’s the Hopey influence, right there – no drama.

@FreshCliches: Her rack is still available, just at other various blogspots/websites.

@FreshCliches: Gawker just gave her the shaft yet again (bumped her down to part-time, but that seems like a preface to an outright shitcanning), effectively killing the only feature on Jezebel I found tolerable, but you can follow her various gigs and such on her blog.

@FreshCliches: OMG, she had PUMA dominatrix Murphy on the show. I’ll have to listen to that MP3 when I’m away from the coffeehouse.

@Benedick: You’re quite pectorals welcome.

@homofascist: @mellbell: Cool, thanks.

@nojo: Yeah, the .mp3 is a mashup done by the station’s sound engineer the day after. The hilarity ensues only for the first five minutes or so of the clip.

For a really sweet piece on how the PUMAs have begun to transmogrify into a borderline hate group, I offer up this delightful little gem.

@FreshCliches: Megan hates us me here. And here’s a quick summary of Our Year in the Wilderness.

@nojo: re:YIR – Strunk and White, currently at 12,000 rpm. (LOVED the graphic!)

But truly, thanks for keeping it short and civil; I wouldn’t want anyone to be shat on by professionals.

@FreshCliches: Are you staring at my moobs?

Oh, and we also have a super-secret group on Facebook. OMFG!

/titters behind hand.

@Benedick: The First Rule of Facebook…

@nojo: Facebook has rules???///

I had no idea.

I’m stilll trying to work out what it’s for. And how it makes money. You know everything, nojo: how does Facebook turn a profit? Or is it run by elves to spread happiness?

@Benedick: Don’t make us take you out in the back alley. On the other hand, though, that sounds kinda hawt…

@Benedick: . . . based on our orbiting battle station.

@Benedick: Most Internet startups are Ponzi schemes, taking in money from later investors to pay off earlier ones.

The typical goal is to get bought before you run out of money. YouTube was burning through enough cash to light up a major city, in the successful hope that someone like Google would eventually pick up the check. And Google’s still trying to figure out where the black ink is hidden.

Another trick is an IPO, where you take the company public, fleece the new stockholders with opening-day prices to cover the early investors, and then wait for somebody to buy you out.

I’m not sure where Facebook stands on the food chain right now, but like Rupert buying MySpace, they’re waiting for an oligopolist to step in and shower happiness on everyone.

@Benedick: Ads, of course, at least in part (nojo’s explanation probably covers the rest). And, from what I understand, Facebook ads work like Google AdSense, plucking keywords from your profile to determine at least some of the ads you see (others are, I believe, fixed), so, theoretically, one could place an ad for Stinque in such a way as to target people who profess a love for Wonkette. Theoretically.

@mellbell: I think the ads are something of a fig leaf, mainly intended to show viability. Their real coin is traffic, on the theory that with so many hits, they must be worth something to somebody.

More interesting is Twitter, which isn’t yet pretending to show revenue. That 140-character limit? Cellphone text messages actually permit 160 characters, and the theory runs that Twitter is reserving that spare 20 to slip in ads someday.

Of course, the moment your Tweets (ugh! I mean, really — ugh!) are burdened with “Big Mac sale today” is the moment Twitter dies because everybody abandons it immediately. So they’re kinda stuck.

@nojo: I’m sure they could figure out some sort of subscription model for Twitter — maybe a flat rate monthly fee for access, since a tiered system would be difficult to implement — though folks would probably flee from it en masse, particularly if you could still update your Facebook status at no cost, though that doesn’t, as far as I know, have a mobile component built in (yet).

@nojo: I have a confession to make. You’re not to hate me. And if you yell at me… I will cry.

OK. I use Camino with ad blocker turned on so I don’t see ads.

But really? That’s it? Ads?

I have no idea what Twitter is or does and I plan to keep it that way.

And I’ve disabled texting on my phone.

I sound like John McCain.

@Benedick: This presumes that McCain was aware of the concept of texting.

@mellbell: It totally has a mobile component. I can update my status, reply to comments and friend requests, and even send messages to people on FB using my cell phone.

@homofascist: Then what the fuck does anyone use Twitter for? Christ.

@Benedick:

Just don’t stop sexxting; it’s way hawtter.

Ok, I finally hit the triangle on FlashBlock and took a look at that video at the top of this post. Holy crap. Wall eyed? Is that a fat-suit? Hussein?

You’re not allowed to talk about his middle name? What’s to say? His middle name is Hussein. Talk away. It doesn’t seem to mean anything, it’s just a name. My name is Ian. It’s Scottish for John, which probably means something in bible-speek. Have at.

Crazy.

@IanJ:

I read an eye-gouging pre-election interview with SNL alum Victoria Jackson that made the same amusing claims. Eeek! He’s a furriner Hussein Mooslem!

“Toonces, look out!” she added.

@mellbell: The standard trick these days is to offer some kind of basic service for free, then charge for the goodies. That would eventually give us (gawd help me) Twitter Pro.

And while I haven’t poked around Facebook innards, in addition to what HF suggests, I think you can access an “RSS” feed of your Facebook updates. RSS is basically a structured list of data, which among other things would allow me to cadge together an alternative to our Twitter display. (RSS is how Flickr photos end up in Stinque Jams.)

@Benedick: I have no issues with ad blockers or Camino, but you’re on your own if either breaks something. I have my hands full making everything work in multiple versions of Safari/Explorer/Firefox/Chrome.

Speaking of Twitter, I think they just FUCKED SOMETHING UP with their feed… I’m shutting it down until I figure out what the hell’s going on with it.

@homofascist: I tried to enable mine, but the best I get is an occasional poke. From my brother.

G’head, laugh away.

Sorry to stay on topic, but while it thrills me to see how PUMAs can bring us together in a deliciously intoxicating spirit of mockery, I don’t have pity for people like Jenny. An menopausal empty-nester, an overweight gay man or a closeted cuckolded PUMA – I understand and sympathize with their bitterness. You will never see a reality TV show for a gay guy who is unapologetic about abhorring the gym. That man is an island. Big ugly girls, though, can be nice or self-deprecatingly funny or slutty, and society will begrudgingly accept them.

So I admire your ability feel compassion towards this asexual Rebel With Vat of Food, Promnite, but I am like Meryl Sheep in that new movie Doubt. Big Jenny had options besides becoming a bitter victim of bad genetics. She could have learned the art of the rimjob and become a cheery survivor of bad genetics.

@nojo: The dweeb who started Facebook turned down a multi-billion $$ offer for it. Of course, that was before the Big Shitpile got excreted.

@Dodgerblue: The dweeb who started Facebook, or the dweeb who stole the code from the dweeb who started Facebook?

But let’s not get into that.

@nojo: Oh wow. I didn’t know all that backstory. Where the hell have I been?

@Jamie Sommers: Like I said: nojo knows everything. I’m beginning to think he’s got a batcave somewhere and goes around dressed in black spandex.

@problemwithcaring: What’s a rimjob?

I am a gay man who hates the gym. Where is my parade, dammit?

@nabisco: Sweetie, I’m feeling a little squeamish about hearing how your brother pokes you, so can we file that under Facts Best Kept to Oneself for now?

What…what? I passed on the low-hanging fruit concerning fugly Puma, so this is my chance! Speaking of, can we move the active conversation off this thread? Just having to click on this link repeatedly and see that video still hurts me. A lot.

@Benedick: Whatever my domicile, I’ve been calling it the Batcave for years. I think I’m on my fourth by now.

Black spandex, on the other hand — only if it has footies.

@Jamie Sommers:
I think that at the time you had a trial going on or something that had you buried in a shitstorm of work. I vaguely remember that from when you surfaced.

@flippin eck: She makes me think of Lady Bracknell’s remark on being introduced to Cecily: Her dress is sadly simple and her hair is almost as nature might have left it.

@IanJ:

By the way, Ian, is that avitar a real picture of you? Because I would do you in a second, dude, you are bookish hawt.

@Tommmcatt Yet Again: It is indeed a real picture of the real me crouching on my real floor holding up a real candle lantern I was converting to battery power for a show. And thank you.

1st add: find me on Facebook for more pictures.

2nd add: I get that every once in a while. I figure the “unattainability” quotient must be high with me (being straight). I know I’m usually attracted more to women I can’t possibly attain… ;)

@SanFranLefty: oh yeah. now i remember. summary judgment month. [shudders]

The PUMAs have named lil’ Jimi Newell their pig of the day. Quelle horreur honneur!

@IanJ: Can I put in a request for some more pics of you with the cello? And maybe possibly shirtless? I say this is the most innocent, unattainability-factored-in way–I am a true altruist and I care deeply about the morale of the girls and gays here. Especially after the scarring the Eds have inflicted on us all with Pumas/Mann Coulter.

@nojo: I didn’t know about the stealing thing. The kid who started it went to high school with my older daughter’s boyfriend. His description: dweeb.

@Benedick: A wonderful play. Which “School of Night” is not, should it come to your jurisdiction. Mrs. DB fell asleep during the first act and we did not stay to see the second.

@Dodgerblue: I summarize with prejudice, of course. But the Facebook founding fable is somewhat messy.

@flippin eck: My God, we’ve found a use for Facebook! We can all go look at pics of IanJ.

@nojo: Can you summarize for us?

@Dodgerblue: I’ll let the Times summarize for me:

Three Harvard classmates, the founders of ConnectU, have long claimed that Mr. Zuckerberg stole the idea from them, and they are suing him in Federal District Court in Boston.

Lawsuit was rejected/settled last year, and Zuckerberg can still legally lay claim to Founder. But nobody believes him anymore.

@IanJ:

Aw, come on! You don’t wanna play library? Just once, to see what it’s like?

Rowrr.

I love it when straight dudes aren’t threatened by a compliment, btw….

@Dodgerblue: Rough comparison: Bill Gates built Microsoft atop a legal theft. Back in the day, he heard that IBM was shopping around for an operating system for its new PC, so he bought one from a Seattle developer, renamed it “MS-DOS”, and flipped it.

Of course, Gates conveniently neglected to inform the Seattle developer that IBM was on the hunt. Oops!

His smartest move was licensing MS-DOS to IBM instead of selling it outright. That allowed him to license the system to clone manufacturers when they started appearing, and here we are today.

@nojo:
Of course, DEC’s VP of SW at the time is probably still kicking himself for blowing off IBM when they wanted to license CP/M for their PC.

At work, the old timers talk about the time that “we” could have ended up with CISCO for about a 1Mil US investment, but some twit didn’t see what the big deal was about internet routers.

@ManchuCandidate: Speaking of which, who was the director of Xerox PARC in the ’70s? Aren’t counterfactuals fun!

@Tommmcatt Yet Again & @flippin eck & @Benedick:

Woo, is it just me or is it gettin’ hot in here? (tugs on collar)

It’s not even After Dark on the Left Coast yet.

Let’s not seshally harrass IanJ too much; he can be our totally platonic, 100% hetero, Stinque BF ; )

@nojo:
Sometimes. A guy I once worked with, dealt with the guys at Xerox Park. Nobody “important” thought the idea of icons and mice amounted to much. Felt that keyboards (and punchcards (!)) were forever.

Great idea factory, but the suits never really got them. Too interested in pushing toner.

@ManchuCandidate: You want punchcards? I learned Basic on punchtape. Terminal in the mathroom closet, hardwired to the PDP-10 at the district’s central office.

Punchtape fun: Make the holes spell out naughty words. Those were the days!

@ManchuCandidate:

The bank that I used to work for used a mainframe host system that ran exclusively on four digit and letter command codes that had to be memorized and input in order to access even the most basic information. Blech. I had cheat sheets a mile long with all the codes; don’t miss those at all.

@Original Andrew: Considering that flippin’ is also totally 100% hetero (female), I don’t think that works for her. The platonic part I mean. In fact, I am quite certain of it.

@Original Andrew: I, of course, have absolutely no control over what you choose to do with pictures of me which you might find on any free public website, such as Facebook. Being your virtual 100% platonic Stinque BF sounds fine, too. ;)

@flippin eck: You don’t want to see me shirtless. No tone, very unpleasant looking. I can work on the cello, though, I want to play more.

@Tommmcatt Yet Again: Why would anyone be threatened by a compliment? Silly straight boys. Now, actual groping on the other hand, is less comfortable, and one of the reasons I don’t frequent gay bars. (I threatened to wear bib overalls and nothing else to a truck stop themed drag event recently, but my GF convinced me that I would not escape the evening without getting several friendly hands down the pants. Also, I don’t own bib overalls. Also, someone far more chiseled and beautiful than me had the same idea, and he pulled it off way better than I could have.)

@IanJ:

I promise never to grope you unless you are drunk and asking for it specifically. Or if we are in the back stacks in a library.

GAH, I finally watched the video……WHY DIDN’T YOU WARN ME!

Warn me that this Pat with the crazee eyes lives in about five incarnations around the corner from me, works down the hall from me, goes to the movies at the same time as me, etc.

That’s right: I live in dumbfuckerville, in the heart of Pennsyltucky and we grow them large, stupid and far too talkative. I think it is either the coal dust in the water or the scrapple.

But really, it ain’t the size or the non-descript gender, it’s the lazee crazee eyes that got to me….*shudder*

@nabisco:

I’ve seen bettter-lookin’ eyes flyfishing.

@nabisco:

Psst, don’t tell anyone, but I couldn’t make myself watch the video. Just the freeze frame gave me an overwhelming case of Teh Sad.

@nabisco: Yeah, the wall-eyes are seriously wiggy. The eyes alone remind me of a pug. The eyes plus the fat-bags around cheeks and neck put me in mind of a pug being swallowed by an overfed, marshmallow-like snake.

@nojo: Wait. I thought Bill and his elves wrote the code. Oh, my idols are falling.

@Original Andrew: The video is seriously amazing.

@Tommmcatt Yet Again: Fortunately it only takes straight guys about 5-6 beers to start asking for it.

@IanJ:

I randomly ended up at C.C. Attle’s recently, and there was a dude there with those overalls on. You are correct to be wary, sir, yes sir–I did a double-take over how fast various hands went down those pants.

@homofascist:

Or a cell door that will lock in 5… 4… 3… 2…

@Dodgerblue: No, the Elves were working on programming languages. Bill, he was figuring out how to print money.

@homofascist: See: Toss Salad man. (Surely, that youtube vid bookmarked….)

Hey you computer geeks and paralegals – so I don’t spend the next three hours of my life trying to figure this out by using the “Help” features on Adobe Acrobat, is there a way to take the documents from multiple PDF files and combine them into one giant PDF file with all the documents one after the other?

@SanFranLefty: I think you need Acrobat Pro, but I haven’t messed around with it.

@SanFranLefty:
I agree with Nojo. You probably need Pro. I can copy PDFs with my MacBook and generate another PDF sans formatting (which you probably need.)

@IanJ: And of course, you live in a place with not too much sun, and I know well from personal experience that pale skin is sometimes best kept hidden–fair enough. But the cello thing is very cool. I took a 6-week cello class here in Chicago, so I can very capably play “Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star,” but that’s about it. I’d love to take another class and move onto “Hot Cross Buns.”

@mellbell: Since there’s already a facebook component for balckberry and iphone, updates from regular cells can’t be far behind.

@SanFranLefty: At my office, I could just print all the pdfs and run them through our copier in scan mode and have it emailed to myself as one beeg pdf.

@SanFranLefty: Do you have the full version of Acrobat? Under one of the pull-down menus there’s an “insert” choice that let’s you add pages to a document. Sorry can’t remember where exactly — don’t have acrobat on the Mac.

@flippin eck: Excellent. I started playing in 3rd grade, and played actively from then until 10th grade. I pretty much stopped after that, so I’m still rusty, but the skillz are all there waiting to be unlocked. The trick is practice, listen to what you produce (like, record it and listen), and pick achievable things to fix. You may need a teacher or mentor to be able to judge what’s achievable, though.

@Mistress Cynica: You totally can! It is ridiculous. I update my status just with my little crappy LG phone. I can send you a message from my little crappy LG phone. Teh internets are scary.

@homofascist: Get off my lawn, you whippersnapper!

@redmanlaw: That’s my current work-around solution. But scans of scans get a little garbled.
@Mistress Cynica: I have the full version at home, not at work. We’ll see.

@nojo: I worked at a law office that actually had the complete system, the Xerox original “windows.” It was beautiful. For the limited purpose of office word processing and filing, it was easier, so much more intuitive, than windows and office or wordperfect. And the monitors were tall and skinny and showed a whole page at a time, no scrolling, ever. I hope a museum got it when they updated.

@SanFranLefty: Can you just select all, and copy and paste into a new one, or does that destroy the formatting?

@ManchuCandidate: I took a class on Fortran and used punchcards. The punching machines were in one building, and the card readers were in another building, you would march a half a block through the night and wait in line to feed your punchcards in, and then it would tell you there was an error on card 15. You march back and correct card 15. Then it tells you there is an error on card 31. You march back and forth again. Ad infinitum.

New PUMA video up … featuring Tweety!

I made a matrix and used it to plot gas diffusion emanating from a chemical leak, taking wind into account. I think the exercise was modelled on Bhopal.

@drinkyclown: I tried that, but some of the documents are on letterhead, etc.

@SanFranLefty: You have Acrobat Pro? You can combine the files into either a package or a single document (the latter sounds like what you need). I forget which menu it’s under, maybe File?

@mellbell: Here’s the walk-through from Adobe’s website (note that you can combine part of a file, rather than the entire file, though it might be easier to combine all the files first and delete extraneous pages after).

@mellbell: Thank you my dear.

@nojo: The licensing idea was likely his father’s. Dad was a sharp lawyer. The cultural difference of MSFT was always that it didn’t act like an engineering-driven enterprise like say Digital Research or DEC or Data General but more like a law firm. It was never about technical innovation but about the angle of attack.

I posted this video on my FB page (much to flippin’s chagrin), and my DAD just commented on it. Hilarious.

@FlyingChainSaw: I think you’re right about that. Plus, IBM wasn’t paying attention — the real money’s in mainframes, after all.

@Promnight: I did that at UCLA around 1970. Working on truth tables for various combinations of logic operations. Errors were made, as they say.