Tone Deaf

Of course he picks someone not on Obama’s list. At least it wasn’t Emil Jones.

Who is this Burris guy?

@Jamie Sommers: http://www.gshllc.com/AT_Burris.shtml

Turns out that the Senate might not be able to stop Blago: http://www.talkingpointsmemo.com/archives/2008/12/maybe_the_senat.php

Wait, Plaxico is leaving the Giants for the Senate?

Ron’s pushing that insanity defense hard.

@homofascist: Or Todd Stroger.

I’m just disappointed that Blago didn’t appoint someone with similarly awesomely bad hair.

Rolling out with the bilingual holiday greetings. Good to see — he’s on the mend, and slowly starting to pander again.

Word here is that Burris is kind of a mavericky Democrat (read: not connected to Blagojevich and Daley). Of course, the lack of ties to Rod isn’t exactly true anymore.

And now a whiny plea from Rod — do not let the allegations taint this good man. Straight up: Rod is tarring this guy himself. And Burris is tarring himself by allowing himself to be within twenty yards’ distance.

Secretary of State Jesse White (he of the Jesse White Tumblers) is saying that he won’t ministerially certify the pick. Please God — let that work.

[ADD — oh, hilarity. Burris took questions. One guy said that Burris’s lobbying firm gave $14,000 to Rod. Burris said: “wow — was it that much?” FAIL.]

He should have given it to the current AG, then he could offer to appoint Fitzgerald the new AG, if he would, of course, drop the prosecution thingie.

I think we are almost at pitchforks and torches with this guy. Srsly.

@flippin eck: Yes, Strokey Jr. would have in fact been worse.

Illinois. Making Georgia state government look competent.

@rptrcub: Please. We aren’t going to lead a prayer for rain.

homofascist: Oh, honey. Snap.

@Prommie: Now you’re thinking like a Lousianan!

@homofascist: Is that so much worse than all the Cubs fans praying for a World Series for years and years and years?

Yesterday I was talking to a friend who lives in the Atlanta suburbs. He told me the problem isn’t as much the drought as it is all the fresh water being diverted to Florida so the senior citizens (not exactly the term he used) can water their lawns every day. He wasn’t very happy about spending the summer under water use restriction when Florida wasn’t.

Shit on the Holy Paultard, er, Constitution, Harry’s fine with it.

Give $700 Gazillion to greedy dipshits, Harry’s fine with it.

Give telcos immunity from prosecution, Harry’s fine with it.

Surrender at every opportunity to the minority Repugs, Harry’s more than fine with it.

Blago the Corrupto appoints a Senator, Harry freaks out.

@chicago bureau: Exactly the way you want to see an asshole go out, teeth clenched, laughing as the gasoline is poured over him and cursing you and your mother as the lit Zippo is tossed into the puddle at his feet. Blago is what America is all about.

breaking/ No more thongs for “the Todd” when “Scrubs” moves to ABC>

http://www.nytimes.com/2008/12/30/arts/television/30scru.html?_r=1

@ManchuCandidate:

Standing up to rich, powerful moneymen = requires a spine

Standing up to a president = also must be performed by a vertebrate

Standing up to vicious, small-minded republicans = again, spine

Whining about an embattled, obviously corrupt and obnoxious state governor on his way out = Right up Harry “Where’s my Spine” Reid’s alley…

Breaking: I haves new avatar, should appear any decade now! Yay, I love having a new avatar!

Some day, far, far over the rainbow, I’m looking forward to a government that isn’t about backscratching and blowjobs, either literal or figurative.

@Prommie: I like it best when you had a rack. Good times.

Prommie: It’s kinda small, but I think that is an actual woman, on a couch, being hugged by a brown Muppet. Hott.

DEVELOPING HARD: Per (yes I know) Brand W, it appears that Burris has built a shrine unto himself, the same to be his final resting place, as demonstrated by this Flickr photo.

Oh my.

@chicago bureau: Per (yes I know) Brand W

They’re still around? Well, give ’em credit — I thought they’d fold a few months after the LBO.

DEVELOPING HARDER — Total count: $20k in donations. Contracts: $290k. Smooth.

Per Trib: “Burris has given more than $20,000 to Blagojevich’s campaign fund on his own and through his consulting and law firms, state campaign finance records show. Burris’ consulting company received about $290,000 in state contracts with the Illinois Department of Transportation a few years ago, according to state comptroller records.”

Yeah. This is going to go well. Blagojevich had better not show up to the Winter Classic on Thursday — the assault of snowballs towards him may hit innocent bystanders. Like, for instance, me.

@Dave H: No, that’s a different kind of stupid all together.

@chicago bureau: That is exactly the same kind of shit that a federal grand jury is looking at in a case involving Beel Reechardson.

@chicago bureau: I want to know of one potential appointment in the state of Illinois that hasn’t given money to Blago. CB, you might have a shot for the seat after all!

By the way, how did Blago manage the Human Bobblehead?

@chicago bureau: Humility is obviously his strong suit.

I’ve always found those kinds of things weird, but I guess it’s not as bad as “the space” at the LBJ ranch. I remember the first time I went there, the tour guide pointed out the little family cemetery just down the road from the house. He pointed out the space between LBJ’s grave (whose marker was bigger than everyone else’s natch) and his brother’s (?). That space was reserved for Lady Bird, who still lived in the house.

How creepy would that be to be able to see your final resting place as you drive to and from your house?

May FSM bless you, Lady Bird. I don’t know how you did it.

@Jamie Sommers: My grandparents bought a plot and matching headstones ages ago, as part of the greater “we don’t want to be a burden” theme. Meanwhile, we’ll all be so grief-stricken when they pass that chipping in for the funeral would be the least of our worries. Que sera, sera.

@chicago bureau: As an editor, I want to go chisel close-space marks on TRAIL BLAZER

@flippin eck: Everyone shortens it to Blazers anyway.

Oh, that.

@Jamie Sommers:
On my numerous trips as a Brownie/Girl Scout (stop laughing all of you) up to the Hill Country and Johnson City to tour the LBJ Ranch, the other bizarre thing besides the tour guide always pointing out “Lady Bird’s space” in the graveyard was that the little tour tram buses played “Raindrops Keep Fallin’ on My Head” in an incessant loop because allegedly that was LBJ’s favorite song. WTF? Do you remember that?

@SanFranLefty: It couldn’t have been his favorite song for long — the movie came out in 1969, and LBJ rode into the sunset four years later.

@chicago bureau: Setting aside a plot of land, or even socking away cash for burial costs I can unnerstand. But building a shrine to yourself seems kinda Ceasar-like.

Also, it looks a little like a bus stop, or the Larry Craig Memorial Stall and Eternal Resting place.

@SanFranLefty: Could be worse — you could’ve been an Indian Princess.

p.s. I love that song, but only because I have a Hummel music box which once belonged to my grandparents that plays it.

p.p.s. A dear friend is going to Austin next week and would like recommendations for places to eat and sights to see. The suggestions so far are Rudy’s, Las Manitas, Hula Hut, and Oasis. Anything to add?

/TJ

Where the hell is JNOV lately? She hasn’t posted in, like, forever….

@mellbell: Migas at Las Manitas. Victory Grill in east Austin (11th street?). Barton Springs. Everything else has prolly changed on me.

@mellbell:
Mexican – it’s Chuy’s, Las Manitas, Gueros, and La Michoacana in East Austin on 7th St
American/organic – Hyde Park Cafe (MUST order the french fries), Kirby Lane Cafe, East Side Cafe
Barbecue – Salt Lick (best BBQ in the Hill Country – no ressies and BYOB) or Sam’s in East Austin
Threadgill’s (MUST GO) or Dot’s for southern food
For wonderful non Tex-Mex Mexican (i.e. upscale Interior Mexican food) there’s Fonda San Miguel (Sunday brunch is to die for)
There are several good Vietnamese places, believe it or not, I can’t remember all the names of them. My favorite was Kim Phung on North Lamar Street and 183, you could get a bowl of noodles for $4 that would last you a week.

@mellbell:
Oh, I forgot to suggest any sights to see, I was so caught up with the eating.

Things to see – Barton Springs, walk or run around Town Lake, visit Stevie Ray Vaughn on the lake by Auditorium Shores, the State Capitol building, the Texas History museum by the Capitol (whatever it’s called), the LBJ Presidential Library at UT, bars and live music on Sixth Street and Fourth Street. Can be fun to walk up and down Guadalupe Street (pronounced “Guada-Loop” or called “The Drag” by locals) by UT campus and see the head shops and gutter punks and street preachers. Hole in the Wall bar is on the Drag and has good live music and cheap drinks. The older part of campus has nice architecture. South Congress Street has gotten all hipsterfied and has cool shopping and art galleries. Road trips to the Hill Country or to San Antonio to visit the Riverwalk and the Alamo are always good.

@SanFranLefty: Wow, there’s more left than I imagined.

Wouldn’t you recommend a greasy burger at “Dirty’s” up Guadalupe on the drag? Around the corner is/was “Snaps Buy and Fly”, my favoritest drive-thru package store.

@nabisco:
It’s been a while since I lived there, but I get back for visits about once every other year (and leave 5 pounds heavier).
Oh yes, greasy burger. And speaking of grease I forgot about Trudy’s on 25th Street (24th?) just north of campus for the Mexican Martini (humongo margarita served in a martini shaker) and the Botana Sampler (festival of fried Mexican food appetizers).

Other iconic things to do – visit Waterloo Music on 6th and Lamar, and gawk at the Whole Foods flagship store across the street.

@nabisco: That’s what Yelp is good for, among other things. If a place closes, someone will post a week later saying, “ZOMG, I can’t believe that place closed!”

@Tommmcatt Yet Again:
She’s been around. Either lurking or working.

@nabisco: @SanFranLefty: Thank you, thank you.

DEVELOPING HARD — Rachel scores sit-down with Burris. Fascinating interview — lots of appeals to the whole equal representation of states, innocent until proven guilty, etc. But he says that if the Senate blocks him, he will fight.

Rachel tried to pin him on the whole contributing to a guy selling a Senate seat thing; parried well, saying that he will open up his books on contributions so that people can see what exactly he’s handed out to people. Believe it when you see it.

But: taking on the Senate, saying that blocking his appointment from a guy legally authorized to make the appointment? Hoo boy.

[Also: Chuck Todd on tee-vee with Rachel too! She does rock, doesn’t she?]

@mellbell: Its not that bad, making the arrangements, really. It gives you something meaningful to do. Funeral directors are calm, comforting people, its their business.

Morbid Threadjack: Funerals. What a topic, but hey, many of us are middle aged, and starting to attend a alot of them.

What I am wondering about is the effect of scattered, isolated families. Up till my father’s generation, in my extended family, the whole extended family stayed close. My family started in this country with 5 brothers who came here around 1910. They all had big families. My father had about 20 first cousins. When you get to their offspring, my second cousins, there are around a hundred. Up until the time that first generation died, the last of those brothers went in the late 80s, EVERYONE would come to the funeral. Hundreds, with spouses and children.

Since then, as the second generation died (there are only my Dad’s two sisters left) its been smaller crowds. But still, a large number of relatives, and they are wonderful, when my dad died, just 5 years ago, on the last day, the morning of the service, when they were going to close the coffin, I lost it completely and was held upright by a phalanx of my cousins, they literally held me upright in a huge group hug, gave me the strength to give the eulogy.

Funerals are great, they are, truly, miraculous, when a large group who are united by the bond of family gather and grieve together and offer mutual support and condolence.

But what of isolated, small families? That makes me think. A small funeral, a small, tiny, group of mourners, that would be so so sad. In those ciircumstances, I wonder, more painful than consoling?

We were meant to live in kinship tribes, sharing, sharing the burdens of children and the elderly, hellping one another. This atomized, separated, isolated existence makes life so much harder than it was ever meant to be.

@chicago bureau: “My name is Ozymandias, king of kings…”

@chicago bureau: @chicago bureau: Let me ask – in the universe of Chicago pols who might be appointed, is this guy good, bad, v. bad?

@Promnight: Back at the Episcopal Cathedral, I used to volunteer to take the altar flowers to shut-ins after the service. I visited one wonderful lady, aged 102, in a nursing home. SHe had had a fascinating life, lived all over the world, and hated the bland nursing home food, especially American cheez. Before I could get back to take her some Camembert, she passed away. I went to her funeral, and there only half a dozen people there, a great-grandchild or two, a few health care workers. She had outlived all her close family and friends, including her children. I couldn’t decide if that was a good or bad thing. I’ve also been to funerals (that of my best friend included) where the packed church held no blood family at all, only friends. Being from the south, I can on for hours about death and reviews of good and bad funerals. One of my favorite cookbooks is Being Dead Is No Excuse: The Southern Lady’s Guide to Throwing the Perfect Funeral.

Another threadjack, its about Iraq; where’s the news?

Here’s the thing; in my local news last Friday, there was an obituary, for a local army doctor, a surgeon, killed by a mortar attack on his base, wherever that was, killed in his bed, in his sleeping quarters. And just tonight I caught an isolated report of a UPenn surgeon killed in Iraq, again, an attack on a US base.

Now am I wrong here, in thinking this odd, that we are only hearing of this in Obits? Am I wrong in thinking that 99% of US casualties in Iraq have been in attacks on patrols out on the roads? US Army doctors, getting killed in their camps or bases or whatever, by mortar attacks, isn’t that out of the ordinary? I have seen no news of a US base attacked my mortars and suffering casualties. From my memory, its rare that the insurgents ever manage to lob a mortar into a fortified US position, and casualties are rare. Doctors killed in their beds?

Is this strange to anyone, the lack of news about this?

blogenfreude: Well, the universe of decent pols that are not totally in hock to the Daley/Stroger/Blagojevich iron triangle of SUCK, there are a couple of mavericky lakeshore-liberal county board members named Forrest Claypool and Mike Quigley. Forrest is the better of the two. He barely got beat by John Stroger after he had his stroke; this, in Chicago politics, can be scored a moral victory.

Another guy, Larry Suffredin, is an Evanston type with a reform bent, but his more recent support for Todd Stroger and a county sales tax hike has been most unsavory.

On this scale, Burris is probably cleaner than most. But today’s Word of the Day (particularly on the teevee) is — happily enough — “taint.” Anybody who has had anything to do with city/county/state government and the Democratic Party, but is not rolling in the Obamaplex right now, must taste the awful sting of taint.

Another threadjack; we need a movie or music thread. Fartig.

It beats talking about the economy, on that issue, we are all frogs in the slowly warming pot. Does it seem warm to you?

Keiff Oh’s recap of the year is getting me all verklempt again.
@Promnight: I think News Hour’s nightly rememberance of the soldiers killed is about the only mention left.

@chicago bureau: I like Mike Quigley.

Another threadjack – Denton is selling Defamer! I can, at some point, go back and read and comment (and declare my love for Seth) without guilt.

@homofascist: Seth’s my last link to the Gawker Media Golden Age, but frankly, I haven’t been able to read any of their blogs in months. No guilt or anything, but the design is impenetrable.

@nojo: Seth is my hot hairy Jew daddy.

The new comment system is horrible. I like Deadspin too, but Leitch is a fellow East Central Illinois boy too.

@homofascist: Is that sort of like when GM gets rid of a few nameplates? Buick, Pontiac, Saturn … which one should go ….

@nojo: Jalopnik … I’m addicted. But other than that, they don’t know from my IP address.

@blogenfreude: I love Jalopnik. I have never posted, but read it religiously. I love the 24 hours of LeMons.

@Promnight: I always read Kotaku, but yikes the comments there are extra fratty even for the internet, with an extra splash of fanboyism and one-upmanship.

Ken’s lucky he bought out Wonkette just before the Gawker designs started tanking. It’s not just the maze of a comment system, but the overdetermined post layout.

The joy of something like Defamer was that you could get sucked into a story you had absolutely no interest in on the strength of the writing alone — and you could do that because the writing was there to be read, not buried under category tags and buried behind 25-word abstracts. They were blogs, dammit, with the intimacy and personality of their writers, not wire feeds from the Snarky News Service.

I used to think Denton was brilliant, on the basis of the people he hired and what they produced. But I’m starting to suspect he never understood the magic he created. Wouldn’t be the first time I’ve had that feeling this year.

@nojo: Whatever do you mean?

Keith O. can play that crowd shot of Grant Park reacting to the Obama victory for days. I love it.

nojo: I must say that we, as a commenting crew, have rocked it this year. Back over at CP, the running commentary about the DENVER DENVER DENVER meeting of the DNC rules committee was better than anything I ever saw over at the old place. And that happened countless other times, too.

I love you guys.

TEAM!

[/hoosiers]

@Promnight:

I’m starting to think this whole financial crisis thingy is as big a fraud as the “boom” that preceded it. I’ve no doubt that people who’ve been laid off are going through hard times. But how does one explain the fact that the malls and restaurants are packed balls-to-the-wall every weekend?

Have people become total solipsist economic kamikazes?

A very modest house in Hell-LAy is still nearly a million even after these so-called tewwible “month-to-month declines.” This is a huge area and the median salary is like $50K.

Even in my somewhat marginal Seattle neighborhood a decent house is over $500K. People sure as hayell seem to be spending their brains out, recession be damned.

In much happier news, Mr. OA signed a new client so we’re not gonna be eating air sandwiches (yet).

@chicago bureau:

You too, CB!

High five!

I love you, Nojo, and to be honest, you are talking trade talk I only half understand. I don’t know what a blog is supposed to be, or not supposed to be. I read everything I read on the same merits, is it interesting, intelligent, informative, entertaining, thought-provoking. All of those elements must be present to engage me. Magazine article, newspaper article, blog, whatever, thats all that matters to me.

But there is something else about blogs, and thats interaction, the comments. And because this is what really distinguishes a blog from anything else I read, then assuming all the rest is there, good writing, interesting, intelligent, amusing, etc., than what makes a blog stand out to me is the comments, the community it has attracted. I read Wonkette not because I found the posts so exceptional, but because I found the comments so exceptional.

But thats something that cannot survive too much success, is it? The internet has some contradictions, it seems. If too many people read a blog, it is indistinguishable from a magazine, the millions of comments, the dross overwhelming the intelligence, and its no no different from reading a huge mass market publication.

The magical thing to me about the internet and blogs are the communities that they create. But commercial success requires numbers of readers so large that the community part disappears.

This place, I think, is a rare and probably doomed thing. Nojo, you are brilliant, so are the rest of you bloggers, but your audience here, you know there is less division between author and reader here than ever in any form of literature on earth before, don’t you? I was saying to mrs. Prom earlier tonight, that all my life I have been the smartest person in the room, bored to hell by idiots, but here, among you Stinquers, I find myself a C student, engaging with more people from whom I can learn, on my level and above, than ever anywhere in my life. I am going to go off here and say it, you all are the smartest, most informed, educated, people I have ever had the privilege to know in my life. This is the only place ever in my life I have felt myself part of the tribe, rather than some freak trying to understand whats going on. This is all about the community this blog has created, or rather, the community that has been roving around and now has its home here.

But the thing is, this community feeling, this amazing interaction between the authors and the readers, this complete breakdown of the division, this gathering of people who can feel free to express and know that the others here will always fully understand, this amazingg community, this thing that I love, its not a commercially viable entity.

If this place got the attention and recognition it deserves, as a modern day salon, outside the societal norms which define what intellectual activity is considered significant and what is not recognized, if Nojo’s work and the others got the popularity it deserves, then this community would be destroyed.

I want this place to be recognized by the world for the intelligence and wit and genius exhibited here, but at the same time, I want it for us, this community, and these desires cannot both be met.

Am I just stoned?

@Promnight: True, there’s no Platonic Form of Blog, but whatever it was that Lisanti, Ana Marie and Jessica were doing a few years ago, that was it. I don’t think the newer Gawker designs would permit something like Butterstick to happen, for example.

As far as the Irony of Size, while I don’t read Deadspin, I don’t recall their hundred-comment threads ever bothering anyone. It’s the quality of conversation that counts, and if everyone’s on their game, the more the merrier.

Which brings us to…

@chicago bureau: Credit Bloggy for deciding to liveblog (or open-thread) the Rules Committee debacle, which I otherwise would have been happy to ignore. That was certainly one of the, um, highlights of the year — I was ready to credit any Democratic loss to the events of that afternoon.

And, more broadly, thanks to HF — and honestly, Greg and Hunter — for acting quickly when Megan was fired. I was quite ready to give it all up that weekend of our Commenting Wake (nothing lasts forever, and all that), but setting up CP within days allowed us to keep the party going. I have no idea what this year would have been like without a dependable place to vent.

@Promnight:
Am I just stoned?

Did you find pot in the Caribbean? I keed, I keed. But did you? Was I right, it’s the valet parkers who can hook you up?

Srsly. As to your point, maybe I’m selfish, but I prefer this as a fun vanity project for all of us and not some sort of vehicle for appearances on Rachel Maddow’s show. (Original W-girl blew tonight, I thought).

@Original Andrew:
Congrats to you and Mr. OA! We should touch base sometime off Stinque because one of my college roommates is an architect in Seattle and a relative is a contractor there. It still looks like Mr. SFL will be losing his job by late February due to the economic situation in the state, which needless to say has me awake at 4 am with my ulcer about our inability to pay our bills on my salary alone. If I start commenting on Stinque at early east coast times (which means middle of the f-ing night on the left coast) please stage an intervention because it means my insomnia is tearing me apart more than it already is.

@Promnight: if Nojo’s work and the others got the popularity it deserves, then this community would be destroyed.

Well, no. I’m not above Commenter Executions if we ever get so popular that the idiots start streaming in. A little quality control goes a long way.

@nojo: “But where were the SpidersCylons?”

@nojo:
Let me say right here and right now that the first time somebody has “First!!!11!!!” as their comment and they aren’t instantly executed and deleted (or executed/deleted within minutes), is the day I leave this popsicle stand. I can’t read “Above the Law” anymore, speaking of ex-Wonkette bloggers, or rather, I never bother to go to the comments there. The fratboy shit on ATL is almost as horrifying as the morans commenting on a random article in the Sacramento Bee that mentions a person with a Latino last name. I miss David Lat’s prior project (Underneath Their Robes, for the non-attorneys).

@redmanlaw: Battlestar is On Notice, after the last run of lame episodes. I hope the Final Ten haven’t grown moss on the shelf.

@SanFranLefty:
Unless, of course, it’s one of my beloveds trying to yank my chain tomorrow morning by posting “First?!!!11” Then I’ll spank you and send you to the Stinque woodshed.

@SanFranLefty: Whether this is a vanity project, the fact is it doesn’t have to turn a profit or even pay for itself. That means decisions can be made on the basis of The Greater Good, rather than Cheap Pageview Tricks. Commenter Stalking is still on my list of chores, for example, but there are still some chores ahead of that one.

nojo: What, you mean cheap pageview tricks like this?

[clearing throat]

Boobies.

@nojo:
I think we stalk one another quite well without technological assistance. But maybe that’s just me.

@chicago bureau:
Yeah, you’re going to get a big spanking if you keep your tricks up.

@Mistress Cynica:
About that cookbook – talk to me about the types of recipes in there. That totally sounds like an Amy Sedaris satire.

@chicago bureau: Note to self: register StinquePageSix.com.

Or StinqueLads.com.

Or StinqueyFingers.com.

Nick Denton is a first class moran. I drop by Jez from time to time, and he’s doing his level best to destroy it. It won’t take much to spark a commenter rebellion/walkout now, as he cans good writers right and left. The atmosphere there is a little too estrogen-heavy for me, but the regulars there seem to feel about their community as we do about Stinque.
And I have to recommend this post on the predatory sexual behavior labelled “not-rape” because it is a beautiful piece of writing and because the following lines expressed something I’ve felt since I was 12 years old:
Sometimes it’s difficult to define yourself as a woman in this culture by any other measure than your persistent fear of men. Men can do things that we will never be able to do without first brokering some kind of peace with the fear.

By the way, notice how we’ve all been studiously ignoring Al Franken? It’s like nobody cares. One of the things I like about our joint is that somebody brings up a topic only if it’s worth talking about.

@Promnight:

I don’t know if you’re stoned, Prom, but I sure am and that post was fucking awesome. Much better than Heavy Metal.

Man, am I stoned or what?

@nojo:

I care about Al Frankin, just not enough to type his name into a search browser. That kinda care.

@SanFranLefty: Oh no, dear, it’s totally serious and was written by two lovely Episcopalian ladies from Greenville, MS. There are recipes for the proper funeral feast (at which no jello molds would ever be seen), including homemade mayonnaise and pimiento cheese and chicken salad, and a whole section on the “restorative cocktail.” Their second effort, Somebody is Going to Die if Lilly Beth Doesn’t Catch That Bouquet: The Official Southern Ladies’ Guide to Hosting the Perfect Wedding, is worth the price for the bloody mary recipe alone (it makes 2 gallons), and takes on the wretched “unity candle” with true old-line Episcopalian horror at the very idea. I purchased both at the Episcopal Cathedral bookstore in OKC. Really.

@Tommmcatt Yet Again: But better than the South Park Heavy Metal episode? Because that was fucking awesome. And it had boobies.

@Mistress Cynica:

Can you serve deviled eggs at a proper funeral feast? I’m serious, if you know, tell me. I’d never thought of the question until just now.

@nojo:

South Park. Man. God’s gift to the baked.

Oh shit, weren’t you the Venture Brothers fan? That is some great writing too.

Did I tell you how stoned I am? Wow.

@Tommmcatt Yet Again: I am one of the Venture Brothers fans, although given what I know so far, I’d guess nojo is one too.

BTW: totally stoned. Dude.

@Tommmcatt Yet Again: @IanJ: First two Venture seasons on DVD, of course. Don’t know about the latest, as I was highly distracted during its run this fall.

Oh, and, um… Camel Lights. But only because they’re cheaper than American Spirits.

@IanJ:

See, everybody’s getting the pipe out, awesome.

@nojo:

You smoke the weed that kills you but not the one that gets you high. Interesting…

@Tommmcatt Yet Again: Robot Chicken. Robot Chicken Star Wars Episode I. Robot Chicken Star Wars Episode II.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wDHskF-DCnc

@Tommmcatt Yet Again: You pass 30, and suddenly you crave stimulants.

@IanJ & @Tommmcatt Yet Again:

The last time I heard The Good News, Mr. OA had to shake me ‘cuz I’d been staring at the iTunes visualizer for like three hours and listening to songs like this:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_W7u7g7oV68

It was turbo awesome.

@Tommmcatt Yet Again: Darling, deviled eggs aren’t just allowed, they’re required. They’re one of the top 10 funeral foods. My grandmother had about 5 deviled egg platters. Personally, I always take a pound cake, because that was the only thing I could eat after my grandmother died. Luckily, we got four of them. Hell, the first loaf of zucchini bread arrived before the funeral home had picked up her body.

@SanFranLefty: We should totally chat about boys and politics and Seattle friends and such. I’ll drop you an e-mail soon ; )

And try not to worry about the CA budget too much. Seems like I heard the Governator say he’s “going to terminate it.”

@redmanlaw:

Genius.

@Mistress Cynica:

‘k, I just read the whole not rape blog post. I promise that the majority of men are not like that and would totally lock up their daughters after reading that. Yiiikeess!

@Original Andrew:

Not porn? How odd….

@nojo:

Hard to believe, but we are coming up on the one year anniversary of our little cyber-insurrection. Will we roll it in with the inauguration celebration?

@Tommmcatt Yet Again:

I’ve never been much into porn… I’m more of a hands on kinda guy…

@Original Andrew: I do know that most men aren’t like that and are repulsed by that kind of behavior, but there are enough bad ones out there — and sometimes one you thought was good turns out to be bad — that the default setting becomes “fear” until proven otherwise. I tense up every single time I find myself alone in an elevator with a male over the age of 12, unless he’s wearing an “I love my husband” T-shirt.

@Tommmcatt Yet Again:

And my fave thing to watch stoned is 9 to 5. It simply cannot be beat.

“…so I was gonna be big cause I had a gun, so I reached to get my gun and I shot a hole clean through my purse!”

“It looks just like Skinny and Sweet… except for the little skull and cross bones on the label.”

“I’m no fool, I’ve killed the boss! You think they’re not gonna fire me for that!”

“Violet honey, could you come back here a second?”

Ah, sublime!

@Original Andrew: The Official Anniversary is January 19, and yes, we’ll be doing something about it. Not sure yet how we’ll do it online, but the Stinquers at the inauguration will be drinking themselves into a stupor.

@Tommmcatt Yet Again & @IanJ:

Oh! And I finally watched Spaced!

FSM help me, I don’t know how I missed a show that brilliant.

@Mistress Cynica: “I tense up every single time I find myself alone in an elevator with a male over the age of 12, unless he’s wearing an “I love my husband” T-shirt.”

Hence, why I started going to ghey bars when I was 14 and never have looked back.

I am still processing Tatianna’s post, as well as the original underlying article. I started briefly reading them during a break at work and got so freaked out I was literally shaking, and I needed to compose myself to go to a meeting. I know that the Jez comments will undoubtedly shake me up more.

Oh, and re: the funeral cookbook. I could live on deviled eggs alone 365 days a year, and I didn’t realize any Episcopalians were left in Greenville, MS. Last time I was there (yes, I’ve been there multiple times) it seemed overrun by evangelicals – still strictly segregated and the black Pentecostal church had a better 2 pm lunch – but nonetheless all Babee Jeebus freaks.

@Tommmcatt Yet Again: @IanJ: @nojo:
I’d join the rest of the left coast posse in sparking a bowl, but I have got to get to bed and I don’t want to give the puppy I’m dog-sitting a contact high. Plus I’d wake up Mr. SFL when I’m banging around the kitchen looking for Doritos. And the cheese powder on the MacBook is so not cool the next morning.

@Original Andrew: I wish I had your optimism re: Arnie’s abilities, but since thx to Prop 13 it takes a 2/3 majority to pass a budget bill and it’s his own party in the Assembly that’s holding shit up to make a point, I have no faith. And Arnie wants to kick union ass to look tough for his challenge for Boxer’s seat.

@Original Andrew: Spaced certainly explains a few of the inside jokes in Shaun of the Dead.

BTW, on a shallow and lighter note, I really want to use some oil blotting paper on Rod’s face in that photo. Homeboy really is shiny there.

@SanFranLefty: St. James in Greenville is still holding on. A friend who lives in Jackson has been there and says it gives a whole new meaning to the nickname “God’s Frozen People.” Very very “old family” southern. And now it’s almost midnight and I’m really craving deviled eggs.

@Mistress Cynica:
Oh, and back to deviled eggs. FSM’s gift to humanity, along with Eggs Benedict.

Do the recipes in that cookbook say that the trick to perfect deviled eggs is that you use eggs that you bought a week to 5 days before actually boiling them? Even more than throwing salt in the boiling waters, the passage of time ensures that the shells come off easily when you’re peeling the boiled eggs. Nothing worse than mangled deviled eggs. The old eggs suggestion was my grandma’s trick.

And paprika and cracked black pepper and chopped green onions are mandatory, right? Or is that just the way we made them in Tejas?

@SanFranLefty:

Not that I would ever make any quickly disproven assumptions about Republican intelligence, but wouldn’t it be political suicide for them to torpedo the budget at this point? What in the h-e-double hockey sticks could the upside be for them?

Not that WA is in great shape either, seeing as how we’re something like $5 BILLION in the hole.

So consumers are broke as a motherfucker, the state and federal gummits are tits up and all the banks are insolvent.

Who’s got all the fucking money?

(Answer: Exxon-Mobil & Halliburton, beeches).

@SanFranLefty: Scratch the green onions, it was onion powder.

Damn, I have the munchies for deviled eggs and I haven’t even been smoking like the boys in Ell Ayy and Seattle.

@SanFranLefty: It just hit me: Tom Cruise should totally play him in the movie. Just look at the cheesy, shit-eating grin. I knew it looked familiar.

@Original Andrew:
The only thing that is going to end the clusterfuck is that our State Comptroller (who is 38 years old or so and in the hospital after a heart attack/palpitations) announced today that the state will start issuing IOUs to EVERYONE on Feb. 1. He’s also the guy who told Arnie to go pound sand last year when Arnie tried to cut all state employee salaries to federal minimum wage.

IOUs not just to state employees, doctors who take Medi-Cal, nursing homes, and contractors, etc.. but to EVERYONE. Including taxpayers who are owed income tax refunds this spring. The IOUs instead of refunds will be what finally wakes up the average citizen.

@SanFranLefty: Paprika only, if I recall. My personal favorite deviled eggs are made with curry powder, hot mango chutney, green onions and serrano chilies. That’s the kind of heretical attitude that made it impossible for me to fit in in the South. Wish you were here so we could make deviled eggs and Thai chili bloody marys.

@SanFranLefty: Have you ever read Joan Didion’s Where I Was From? She does an amazing job of dissecting and examining the California psyche and the state’s tendency to really screw things up permanently for short term gain or a quick fix.

@SanFranLefty: I lost track — what unfunded mandates did we vote for last month?

@Mistress Cynica: ” . . . comforted however by the ribbed composite grips of my satin steel finish .357 Ruger SP 101 snub nosed revolver loaded with five rounds of 125 grain semi-jacketed hollow points capable of up to 15 inches of penetration on a clothed target. According to my calculations, the slug would be embedded into the steel elevator wall after passing through the assailant’s center of body mass if my fellow passenger turned into a predator. I thought briefly of my guardian angel, Laura Bush, a librarian who killed a man and walked away. I became one with the moment.

“The vibe of ‘do harm and die’ must have been overpowering in that cramped late night elevator. I became conscious of the creep’s increased respiration, his shuffling of feet, his stinque of fear. He lunged at the control panel and jabbed at random numbers and jumped off at the first stop. I recalled a line from an early translation of ‘The Art of War’ that I had seen at work: ‘The most successful general is the one who does not have to take the field.’ I mentally sheathed my sword and assumed a relaxed ready position.

“The elevator came to a stop and the door chimed and slid open. I scanned the hall between me and the door to my room. I strode down the hall with a take out salad, a copy of French Vogue and a pocketful of American made heavy metal . . .”

@SanFranLefty: Deviled eggs can give you some wicked gas, you know, I am not sure I would do them 365.

Now I am gonna have to go read that fucking thing. I don’t need to. I am already scared of guys.

@Mistress Cynica: Trust the Episcopalians to at least come through with the booze. I have heard horror stories of southern Baptist weddings and funerals, dry and starving. Horrors.

@Prommie: I’m only a quarter Irish, but I want a wake, dammit, with everyone, from the weepiest to the most resolute, completely shitfaced.

I was a pallbearer for a Guatemalan friend who died when I lived there, and the freakiest/best part was the exorcism I received the day after from the resident bruja. She thought I was possessed, when I had really been up drinking for 48 hours.

So let the record state, I want a wake and then exorcisms for all!

@nojo: Oh, that bullet train between Ess Eff and El Ay, to start with, and don’t forget that a side effect of passing Prop. 8 is drying up the economic stimulus of thousands of gheys from around the world coming to our state to spend tens of thousands of dollars on weddings (and their wedding guests spending money here too).

@Prommie: I have no self-control with deviled eggs. I can clean out an entire platter of them at a party. I force myself to stand on the other side of the room from them. If I ate them every day, I’d also be 300 lbs.

@SanFranLefty: I don’t recall that I’m afraid. I just remember the tour bus driver yelling, probably because the audio system was down. They were really old trams. Guess I dodged a bullet there!

I would not laugh about the Girl Scout thing. Not only was I a Scout when I was a young’un, I’m a lifetime member as an adult and volunteer monthly for a group of girls in Sec. 8 housing who don’t have a troop.

Just so no one goes away with the wrong idea, I was letting Tommmcatt know that yes, it was clear he was totally high.

@redmanlaw: Love it! After a friend of mine was assaulted, the ex-Marine priest at our church helped her buy a gun and taught her to shoot. A lot more useful IMO than going on and on about god.
@Prommie: OMFG, one of my cousins married a Baptist girl, and that wedding became family legend. First, it was a December wedding, and the bride had chosen red velvet bridesmaids’ dresses with white caribou trim. They all looked like Mrs Claus. No one could keep a straight face when the opening hymn was “we plow the fields and scatter the good seed” — severe coughing fits all round. And then we get to the reception and there’s no booze. Fortunately, that clan never travels without the monogrammed hip flasks they received for high school graduation, so we spent the evening in the parking lot getting smashed.

@Jamie Sommers: Yay, Jamie for helping out. Gold star. (Put me down for two boxes come spring time.)

@Jamie Sommers: Have you seen the documentary about Girl Scout Troop 1500 in Austin? Guaranteed waterworks. I have a copy of it if you want to borrow it.

@Mistress Cynica: I think I just fell off the couch laughing at those bridesmaid dresses. Do you have any photos to share for the Jam? One of my college roommates was a bridesmaid in a Pentecostal wedding in Louisiana. It was held in January and the 12 (yes) bridesmaids had hoop skirts and parasols (I shit thee not) and there was no booze.

@Jamie Sommers: @redmanlaw: If you’re willing to ship them cross-country, I’ll buy some appropriately marked-up boxes.

@SanFranLefty: OMG – I went to college with the woman (Julia) who was the head of that troop. She and the filmmaker came to Chicago and did a screening in my neighborhood, which I found out about completely randomly. There were so many memorable things about it, but that inmate that had been the nurse…lord. I guess the director is working on a whole new film just about her story.

@SanFranLefty: I have not seen it but have heard about it. The local council also has a GS behind bars program and has a copy of the documentary that I think was shown to board members. One of them told me about it.

@redmanlaw: @mellbell: I can certainly do that next month when the girls start taking orders or I can direct you to the nearest council if you can’t find a local troop. I’ve heard a lot of people lately telling me that don’t see girls hawking them outside their local grocery store anymore.

@homofascist: How cool!

Here’s a longer description of the documentary and about the troop leader and the girls in the troop for the rest of you.

@Jamie, mellbell: I’ll just send a check to the Sec. 8 troop and they can resell the cookies there. I gotta buy locally from Hannah around the corner.

@Jamie Sommers: The only thing they sell outside my local grocery store is Scarface t-shirts, but I’ll look into other local options and let you know if nothing turns up.

@mellbell: Go to the Whole Paycheck in Tenleytown or the Georgetown or Bethesda Safeways. The Girl Scouts are everywhere over there.

@mellbell: At my neighborhood grocery store, you can get carjacked on a spring afternoon. Only happened once, though. They also have bake sales outside there (with Frito pies!).

@SanFranLefty:
@Jamie Sommers:
My kids started the scouting thing this year, part of the Great American Assimilation project (actually, they asked, we didn’t insist). On the whole the Brownies seem much more laid back than Cubs, which is very intense and a little too freakishly heavy on the jeebus thing. Fortunately there is an honor system involved with certifying the boy’s achievements, so I gave him a history of religion in a 30 minute talk then checked off his “faith and god” stop on the Bear cub path. We’re just in it for the campin, whittlin’ and pinewood derby.

@SanFranLefty: There’s also a Whole Foods at 14th and P now. (Did I just blow your mind?)

@redmanlaw: Oooh, Frito pies! A friend of mine who moved up here from Albuquerque had a Frito pie party. Good stuff.

@nabisco: One of the reasons my (Jewish) godson’s mother wouldn’t let him join the scouts — that and the “no gays” rule. Once she explained that these people wouldn’t allow someone like Uncle Rob to join, he lost interest in them.

@mellbell: I’ve been to that Whole Foods and yes my mind is blown everytime I think of it.

@nabisco: I gave him a history of religion in a 30 minute talk

Would have taken me an hour to read through “The Adventures of the Black Girl in Her Search for God”.

I knew that slimy douchebag looked familiar. He’s Howdy Fucking Doody!

http://www.doodyville.com/images/doody_bob.gif