Gesundheit, You Dirty Bastard

In tonight’s episode of Medical Condition or Woody Allen Movie? comes the explosive discovery that some people habitually sneeze after sex.

In other words: Be careful which Kleenex you use to wipe your nose.

Although the reflex condition is rare in the medical literature, British researchers suspect it’s more prevalent than anyone cares to admit. So they visited some online chatrooms to gather field reports:

This highly unscientific survey identified 17 men and women who reported sneezing immediately after having sexual thoughts and three people who sneezed after orgasm.

That’s right: the mere thought of sex is enough to set off sneezing fits. And when you consider how frequently everyone entertains pestorking fantasies, we’re surprised the entire race doesn’t come down with lethal hiccups.

Sneezing uncontrollably after sex may be more common than realised [Guardian UK]
43 Comments

I think this is absolutely ridicu…A CHOOOOO!

I sometimes explode into laughter after the magic moment of ultimate bliss.

AWK-WARD.

@Original Andrew: Husband #1 used to cry.

SEX! It’s nothing to sneeze at!

@Original Andrew: I think maybe one of the reasonsI got laid alot as a youngster was because laughter and playfulness was a big part of having sex for me.
But laughter afterwards? Do you then get smacked with objects close at hand?

@JNOV:
Cry?
Oy, Veh!
Did he call you “Mommy”, too?

@Pedonator: Ooooo! I gotta get me a coral hankie and wear it on the left.

@Ewalda: That would have been too too much. The tears were enough. He loved me, natch. Nothing says love like tears and snot. Or I am that.good. ::shrug::

@Pedonator: I clicked on the hanky code link. It reminded me of Walt Kelly’s comment on “The Twelve Days of Christmas”: “You’d have to have total recall for the livestock alone.”

Queefs make me laugh. Slippage makes me laugh, too.

@lynnlightfoot: That’s why we have the intertubes!

@JNOV: Queefs are always funny. I’m not quite sure what slippage refers to and have a feeling I may not want to know…

@Pedonator: Slippage is when you have a rhythm going, and someone moves a little too enthusiastically, and oops! the dick slips out and pokes you somewhere else before you get it back in the right place. Slippage.

@Pedonator: My heart bleeds for the colorblind. They could be in for a world of hurt.

@JNOV: You have no idea how relieved I am to hear that.

@lynnlightfoot: I just laughed so hard I sneezed!

@Pedonator: What kind of slippage were you thinking about? Some sort of knot slippage where the person trussed up like a Thanksgiving turkey gets a leg loose or something?

I just laughed so hard I sneezed came. Fixed!

@Pedonator: Jesus H. Christmas Fucking Christ, that chart was so confusing, I felt that it was a study guide for a Contracts exam in law school. And frankly, this is a world that my gheyz didn’t bring me into (either they’re too lazy themselves to learn it or it’s irrelevant in SF). Wow.

@lynnlightfoot: Re: “My heart bleeds for the colorblind. They could be in for a world of hurt.”
I think I just broke a rib laughing at your comment to PedoNator. I definitely started to pee my pants.

@ Overlord Garcon/Nojo/FCS/HF/CB/ whoever has control of the Stinque twitter:
If you’re not going to pick “Why do we have to have all these kids?” my favorite quote as a birth-control-hander-outer from It’s a Wonderful Life* or “Happy Birthday SanFranLefty”** for Monday’s Stinque Twitter, can you please pick Lynne’s comment right there for COTD in the Twitter?
*and not to stage-manage, but IAWL best-quote-EVAH would be good for any other random day
**yes I will be a year older on Monday…wiser, who knows. And for those who know this shit, I was born on the cusp of Capricorn and Sagittarius on the winter solstice of a leap year – it fucks up all the palm readers.

@JNOV: I just had a vague image of something slimy, something someone could slip on in the shower, similar to santorum.

FYI, I sneezed four times tonight. Didn’t think I had it in me, such as. Feel like a teenager again, but I am getting sleepy…

(this comment has been brought to you by the letter s.)

@SanFranLefty: HAPPY EARLY BIRTHDAY! I hope you’re over your cold by then.

@Pedonator:
ssssssssssssssssssssssssssssick

@JNOV:
You and me both. I’m pumping my system full of antibiotics and vitamin C to ensure that I will be healthy in 96 hours.
(so i can live my glamorous life of watching a video and going to bed at 10 pm)

@SanFranLefty: Happy Spawn-Day! I’m gonna start gathering signatures for a ballot initiative to make all female lawyers from San Francisco born on the winter solstice Queen of All They Survey.

@Pedonator:
Thank you, darlin, but only if I can wear the awesome stalactite crown that Tilda Swinton wears in the Chronicles of Narnia.

@Pedonator:

Dude, No. Way. This hanky code biz has gotta be an urban legend.

@lynnlightfoot:

Snort! You got me. Total spit-take ; )

@SanFranLefty: If that crown shows up on e-Bay it’s totally yours, sweet thing.

@Original Andrew: Shit you not, I think it was an actual practice for a while in the ’70’s. For myself, I don’t think I’ve ever actually owned a handkerchief. Not that there’s anything wrong with that.

@Original Andrew: @Pedonator: Well, the joke has certainly been around since the 70s. And since it doesn’t involve gerbils, it likely has a basis in truth.

@nojo: Wait — the gerbil thing isn’t true? Damn, now the Gerbil has to join Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, the Tooth Fairy, Sexual Harassment Panda and God on the Island of Misfit Mascots.

@SanFranLefty: Your BD? Awesome.

Do the Ooby Dooby,

Love,

rml

The only thing I usually do post coitus is snore for 10-20 minutes. I can’t help it. Must sleep.

Wait. sex researchers… ? They’re British and they’re researching sex???!!11

Sounds unlikely to me.

I have a confession. (No, not that confession) I didn’t go to school in this country. I don’t know what a queef is. Such as.

Hanky code? I remember a vogue for it among the leather-florists on Christopher Street. An artifact of the 70s. Like Jack Wrangler.

@Pedonator: I’m sorry but the left-pocket apricot for being a chub should pretty much be self-evident.

There should also be implications for twink and bear codes in this, too. (B3 c f g++ k q r t w-, if anyone’s curious).

And you totally got that Peaches song stuck in my head now.

@rptrcub: I lurve that Peaches song.

Happy almost birthday SFL! I hope you feel better soon. Today is RomeGirl/Miss Expatria’s Bday as well, so go over to her site and wish her some love.

Help! Benedick and I both want to know what a queef is. Or is it a verb rather than a noun?

@lynnlightfoot: AKA “pussy fart”, but you didn’t hear that from me.

@lynnlightfoot: It’s both. And Ewalda summed it up better than I could have.

@Original Andrew: Hopefully someone is taking care of your g++ and f++…. how does one get that flavo(u)r, btw?

@Ewalda: @mellbell: Thank you. Now I know. And it brings back happy memories.

@Original Andrew: OK, no one told me there was going to be math. And after seeing the hanky code, the rainbow flag makes total sense.

Wait. If one has to wear silver lame to announce the fact that one is a ‘celebrity’ to all the Star Fuckers out there then surely one cannot be a ‘celebrity’ since no one recognizes you. And by ‘Star-Fucker’ do I not refer to 95% of teh US American population?

Paisley? Well, OK. But… doilies? WTF?

Duster worn in left back pocket: Likes to dust. Duster worn in back right pocket: needs some light dusting done around the apartment before Hanukkah?

@Benedick: My thought exactly. Just add a Snorg “I’m kind of a big deal” t-shirt, and the pathetic wannabe look will be complete.

@rptrcub:

My James Bond name will be Shugah Kahk, NASA scientist and nookyoolar weapuns expert.

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