An Inclusive Inauguration

Suggested Speaker Offended Group
John Hagee Catholics
Jesse Jackson Hymies
Bill Donohue Gooks

James Dobson Bikini Bottomites
Ted Haggard Himself
Jar Jar Binks Everyone


seasonal religious fun, an inclusive clip:
mariah, who knew? i’ll fix you up!

The whole Rick Warren thing is a fucking crime. Shrieking jesus fucking crazy that thinks churches ought to be running shit. Oh, fuck, that worked so well in Europe in the 16th century. Time revive the glory days of endless slaughter and senseless war.

I just called the DNC headquarters to let them know that I will be donating no more money to any of their candidates. I got quite a sympathetic woman who took down my particulars. Will it do any good? No. Does it make me feel better? No.

After being vilified and defamed for years by men like Warren I’m not listening to any of this coming from someone my money helped put in office. Guess who won’t be watching the inauguration.

DEVELOPING HARD: Per Star-Tribune count, Franken to the front. Bang!

@Benedick: I removed my Obama bumper sticker from my car this morning (I saved it for posterity). I am glad he was elected and I’m glad I voted for him, but the election is over and I’m not going to give anymore money to the DNC or anyone else until 2010, and even that’s in question.

I’m tired of other people (including some of teh Gheyz) telling me that we’re being a bunch of whiny ungrateful people because Obama is putting a Jeebuser on a public stage for something that some of them say is insignificant.

Fuck that noise.

@chicago bureau: Great. Let’s sent Franken cases of Keystone Light to suck down so that he can take a nice long piss on Cheney’s shoes when he is sworn in.

Back-to-back t-jack: Blago to open piehole. 1400 Chicago SNOW! Time, to-day.

@rptrcub: I don’t even mind the Jebuseer aspect. If it has to be done then fine. But not that Jebuser. And why, apart from anything else, do they not understand how anti-semitic he is?

I think it’s hard for people to understand how damaging it is to hear every day of one’s life how sick and or immoral one is because of something over which one has no control. And then to have one of the prime exponents of this garbage be given the honor of speaking for us all at the inauguration is a bridge too far for me to cross.

I hate to say this because it implies ranking offended groups, but the anti-Semitic comments coming to the fore and being exposed will be what (if anything) gives them an excuse to get Warren off the stage and disinvited.

Though have we inquired as to what Joseph Lowery’s thoughts are on the issues? I mean, let’s be honest there’s not many religious leaders in this country who are too keen on the gheyz, period, and if everyone feels the need to have a Baby Jeebus representative “bless” the inauguration (which is my more fundamental issue with this – I don’t really care that Lowery is a lion of the civil rights movement – why do we have religious people invoking Gawd in a democratic moment?) I’m not sure who they could get up there that hasn’t said something anti-gay. Granted, they could get a lot of anti-gay ministers who DIDN’T actively campaign for Prop. 8, but who would we have left?

And again, why do we need to send the blessings of the Spaghetti Monster’s noodly appendages down to bless anyone? I find it all annoying, the religiosity, but maybe it’s a childhood spent as an agnostic surrounded by people praying right and left, especially at my public school (hint to my Coach – Jesus does not care if we beat East Central High School in soccer), so I’m used to just ignoring this type of crap or letting it blather on in the background.

And I don’t mean to minimize your anger or anyone else’s anger over the pick of Warren – but come on, what did you expect? I guess I’m just not surprised so it’s harder for me to be outraged.

@Benedick: But he has gay friends. That makes, as we know from the Talibunny, all the difference.

I would love for an intrepid reporter to find and interview the ghey friends of Talibunny and Warren and every other moron full of hate.

@SanFranLefty: I’m just pissy this week.

My mom learned about the plant closure before my dad did. Through the newspaper Web site in Columbia. I think the bastards sent out a news release before telling the employees.


@FlyingChainSaw: Well, we’re well on our way to feudalism. Can theocracy be far behind?

Oh they should totally go with Ted Haggard, even Faux News is like, whoa this guy is a mess. According to the documentary that Pelosi’s daughter is doing, what the hell?

Heard somewhere that people who object might turn their backs when the snake handler begins to speak.

Well I guess Homofascist, Mellbell, and I will be sticking our asses towards the freak.

Fun fact: the mother of the kid who knocked up Bristol Palin got arrested on drug charges. Meth, anyone?

@Mistress Cynica: Oh. we’re well past feudalism, onto full-blown theocracy and on our way to cannibal anarchy.

@blogenfreude: Why, when they can face him, give him the finger and shout their objections to this grinning Goebbels?

Hey, I’m just closing my eyes and taking it in the ass again for the team, and anyone that knows me intimately knows how big a deal that is for me. Fuck you, Barry, and all that, I’m still trusting you and I’m still supporting you, but you better meet with some Gay leadership right quick afterwards, that’s all I’m saying.

That, and I’m repeating the fact that Gay is definitely the new black. Think about it, unicorn…

@SanFranLefty: Granted, they could get a lot of anti-gay ministers who DIDN’T actively campaign for Prop. 8, but who would we have left?


Immediate issues aside, selecting Rick Warren is like asking Dr. Phil to represent the medical community.

Depends upon the Episcopalian. I’d prefer a Wiccan priestess at the inauguration.

That is all kind of awesomeness that has totally made my day.

ADD: You can vote here on whether or not it was a meth lab in her house.

@Tommmcatt Yet Again: Here, here. Politicians pander, I am not going to write him off for that. However, SFL, Mellbell and I will most definitely mark the occasion in a style befitting a Stinquer. I will just have my hip flask ready.

@nojo: Well, according to the guy on the radio yesterday Obama really isn’t black, so maybe this will be a continuing trend.

@Dodgerblue: Bristol is due on Saturday! I hope they have found a manger for this glorious occasion.

@Tommmcatt Yet Again:

I’m just closing my eyes and taking it in the ass again for the team

Don’t forget to breathe! Deep breaths, 1 2 3… 1 2 3…

People are pissed because we’ve been lied to and fucked over so many times by the Demoncrats. Deep down, this is probs an expression of the (increasingly justified) fear that Obama is gonna totally shut us out of the government.

We’re already being told that gay rights issues don’t matter and won’t be addressed until after 2010 at the earliest.

There are other pastors out there besides Jabba the Douchebag Master Pastor who would’ve been fine choices and given everyone the warm spaghetti fuzzies. There’s no fucking way he would have chosen a pastor that says blacks are rapists, criminals and pedophiles, for example.

And I wanna know who his gay “friends” are. What are their names? Can we ask them how they feel about being friends with Rick Warren when he calls them rapists and pedophiles? Must beat your run-of-the-mill dinner conversations.

My fear: Is this really how the next four years are gonna go?

We’ll be told for the next two years that there’s no time for GLBT rights because Obama and Congress have to deal with Serious Issues That Matter.

The Dems will keep caving to the Retardicans and the right-wing of their party and the nation’s sinking situation only mildly improves. They barely survive the 2010 mid-terms, then tell us they can’t help us until after the 2012 presidential election.

The public becomes fed up again, and Obama is narrowly re-elected in 2012 with large Republican majorities in the House and Senate. The Obama Adminstration spends the next four years consumed in scandals both real and imaginary generated by the Right Wing Noise Machine.

GLBTQBLT issues are permanently Off. The. Table.

I keep expecting someone from the inauguration team to say, “Really, we didn’t do our due diligence with this holy guy, and he’s been uninvited. As a matter of fact, we don’t need no stinkin’ prayers, so let’s have a moment of silence and then let the games begin.”

I am deeply disappointed on so many levels.

@JNOV: I think a moment of silence complete with doffing of caps etc. would be just fine. Maybe Lowery could just say ‘well, I know my prayers have been answered. Thanks!’ and out.

@Original Andrew: His ‘Gay’ friends? Siegried and Roy.

@nabisco: Warren, besides being a theofascist monster, comes off like a halfwit car salesman and adds nothing but hatred and schlock to the whole event. Might as well invite a neonazi vinyl siding salesman. Obama should get one of those 10,000 year old Orthodox metropolitans all done up in black, looking like he stepped from the pages of the old testament, barking out scriptural passages in Armenian and stopping occasionally to laugh and reach for Michelle’s taut, luscious derriere. That would make it seem like really official and international. Inclusive and shit.

@FlyingChainSaw: “… a neonazi vinyl siding salesman.” Excellent.

@FlyingChainSaw: ” . . . reach for Michelle’s taut, luscious derriere.” More excellenter.

Honestly, I’m just baffled by this whole Rick Warren thing. Baffled and truly saddened. I’ve lost the Hope.

@Benedick: Hey, you know what? Since everyone is upset about Obama’s plans for the inaugural, what say we whip up an alternative plan? Grabby Armenian orthodox metropolitan, gay men’s chorus backing Aretha, the Flying Elvises and the President’s Own Marine Marching Band (with Special Guest, Laura Bush), illegal alien motocade, the works, and mail it into and see how much they incorporate. We can publish it contemporaneously on and see if the MSM picks it up. Has the transition team published a schedule and agenda for the inaugural yet? Might be easy to redraft that into something more, ah, hmmm, ah, inclusive.


“Wednesday, January 21st
The newly-inaugurated President and Vice President of the United States will participate in a prayer service.”

There’s the target.

@FlyingChainSaw: I’d love to see a Stinque retooling of the inauguration. An ass-grabbing Patriarch of the Eastern Orthodox Church would be mighty fine as would the illegal alien motorcade. I’d like to nix the Marine Corps/Laura Bush shenanigans, cuz that just skeeves me and ruins my personal fond memories of Marines, but I’d love to see the Russian Red Army Choir sing Skynyrd.

ADD: Or they could sing The Internationale.

@Original Andrew: My fear: Is this really how the next four years are gonna go?


We’ve seen it coming in broad outlines since last spring — Slick Barry, if you will. He triangulates with the best of them, only you don’t hear the gears grinding like with Swampsow. (The ban is lifted! We’re free!) He’s gonna hug that broad middle so tight, anyone disagreeing with him will be dismissed as obvious cranks, right and left.

And he may actually do a great deal of good — I haven’t lost my confidence there. But it won’t be a Progressive Valhalla. If an issue doesn’t have broad popular support, I don’t see him getting in front of it. He’s throwing the gays under the bus because he can do it without consequence, just like caving on offshore drilling, and letting the war criminals enjoy a comfy retirement.

Hey, no drama and all that.

@nojo: He’s throwing the gays under the bus because he can do it without consequence, just like caving on offshore drilling, and letting the war criminals enjoy a comfy retirement.

That’s it! I am officially clinically depressed. I’ve been trying my best to wish a different outcome into existence. Bah!

I’ve been asking myself if I want too much. I’ve poo-pooed my cynical side and given over to my Hopey side that says that everything is gonna be alright and that deep down inside Obama is just like me when it comes to all things liberal and good.

Maybe I was an idiot to put so much faith in one man. He didn’t have to pick Rick Warren, and he doesn’t seem to do anything without careful consideration. I’d like to think choosing Warren was an oversight or an accident, but I’m afraid it was neither. Obama threw my GLBT brothers and sisters under the bus. I don’t know why.

@JNOV: Wow, looks like they have the whole band and choir. I will listen to it when I get to the laptop that has sound. I have to get an extension that will allow me to plug the sound card on the PC to pre-amp on the office stereo. OK, we can leave Laura and the Presidents Own at the Mayflower and let them enjoy the inaugural without having to gig. This guy Warren guy has got to go. We can find something else for him to do at the inaugural. Any suggestions?

@JNOV: Oh, that part is after the inauguration. Patience.




Don’t give up teh Hope, sistah!

We wanted to believe that we could trust him to do the right thing, but in reality we’re not gonna get anywhere just by hoping that Obama rides in naked on his “magic Unicorn that shits sunshine and rainbows and makes it all better” (to borrow a phrase). We’re just gonna have to keep pressuring him and those worthless dickheads in Congress non-stop.

And unlike the trillion dollar solutions needed for the wars and the economy, simple changes in the law to help the GLBT community should be relatively cheap and cost effective to implement.

@Original Andrew: Well, I went to and complained about Warren. Shame on them.

@FlyingChainSaw: I’m all out of patience and I want some Change I can believe in. Fucking snake oil salesmen.


It’s true: He Billy Flynned us Chicago-style.

But we can still out-razzle dazzle his fine ass.

We won’t take this lying down, or standing up, or in the shower, or in the back of ’79 Camaro.

Noli nothis permittere te terere!

Breaking Ghey News:

Ken Starr to argue for Prop. 8 in front of the California Supremes.

Attorney General Moonbeam in a surprise move says that Prop. 8 should be overturned.

The existence of Prop 8 and the legitimizing of Warren give me a big case of teh sads. There is so much hate in this world, and we codify it. We advance it in gawd’s name. The shoe hurler has probably had every bone in his body broken. My heart aches.

Ok, once more I must bow before Digby, who takes an insightful idea and cooks it to perfection:

“There are those who feel this is a very savvy political move on Obama’s part — by inviting Warren to give the invocation at the most watched inauguration in history, Obama is validating the views of the Christian Right and they may very well be moved enough by that to become Democrats. But it naturally follows that in order to keep their votes, the Democrats would have to honor their agenda and views — the evangelicals are big voting bloc and if the Democrats become the social conservative party, they could count on their votes for sure. (If they don’t make substantial moves toward social conservatism, this won’t work, obviously.) It doesn’t leave much room for liberals, but perhaps that’s a good thing. They are nothing but trouble, defending women’s civil liberties, agitating for gay rights and hectoring the government about not torturing and starting wars and all that. It would be a big relief if they didn’t need them.

It occurs to me that this may have been one of the lessons the political establishment took from the Clinton years. Gore had the presidency denied him in 2000 largely because the Democrats had alienated a significant enough slice of the left that it defected to a third party, making the outcome much closer than it should have been. They may see the way to permanent realignment to be the replacement of liberals (who are universally loathed among their friends) with the salt-of-the-earth, well organized and easy to appease social conservatives. It makes some sense. It would keep liberals rootless and powerless but they could continue to serve as the useful punching bag for the political establishment.”

@Original Andrew:
As opposed to the three-ring clusterfuck it was before?

I give points to AG Moonbeam for having the political spine to do the right thing. He wanted to run for Governor again, I fear that he has just lot his chance to win another statewide election.

@nojo: Actually I think the presiding bishop of the Episcopal Church, who is the first woman to lead a major denomination and a supporter of gay rights to boot, would have been an excellent choice.

@Original Andrew:
From Ken Starr’s brief in support of upholding Prop. 8:

Judges, Starr said, “retain their power to interpret the law, and have never held a mandate to protect minority rights or ensure equality apart from the law.”

(emphasis added)

Huh huh huh? What the fuck are they teaching at Pepperdine Law?

“Why are we here today? Because we’re under attack by the courts, legislatures, mass media. We’re despised. Racists attack us for sport to win votes. We’re attacked for sport to make money. But I tell you today, rabbit hunting ain’t fun when the rabbits stop running and start fighting back. . . . ” Rev. J. Jackson, 10/17/95

OK, Friends of Dorothy and Friends of Friends of Dorothy:
It’s time to stop running and start fighting back. Word must go out over the blogotubes until it gets to the MSM:
Boo the invocation.
To anyone who is at the ceremony:
Boo the invocation.
To anyone at home, watching on the TV:
Open your windows and Boo the invocation.

Has it struck anyone else that the torching of the Wasilla church and the drug bust of Hockey Studmuffin’s mother might in some way be entwined? Wouldn’t it be great if she started the fire in a meth-fueled manic rage?

Ewalda! I wanna squish my bewbies against you in the most awesome hug!

@Ewalda: Hey sugar-booger! I love the Wasilla angle! Flat chested bewbie hugs for you

@SanFranLefty: Or Mrs Levi was using the church hall to cook meth and some of the chemicals spilled, clues the fire marshal gave to the cops.


Whaddya think? Do we have a


wolf in Unicorn’s clothing!!

@Original Andrew:
Nah, just another smart Chicago politician.
But that’s a damned sight better than a faux-Texas fucktard,
or an Arkansas slick lawyer,
or a CIA Poppy of a faux-Texas fucktard,
or The Devil,
or a Georgia peanut farmer.
Hell, even RFK might have turned his back on us, had he lived (I kinda doubt it, though).
It all might work out OK.
In the end, as they say: “You never know”.

Late to the party as usual, but y’all have said it so well. I’m terribly disappointed in the Unicorn, but not heartbroken because all along I’ve had really, really low expectations. The Warren thing is bad, but like SFL, I’m more pissed that there is an “invocation” and a “benediction” or whatever the fuck it is in the first place. Not one but TWO religious rites in what should be a secular ceremony.

Frankly, I’m more concerned and alarmed about some of the cabinet appointments, which indicate a big dose of business as usual.

@SanFranLefty: Is there a procedure akin to the ballot initiative whereby sane citizen-lawyers can mount a campaign to have monsters like Ken Starr and John Yoo disbarred?

(a) don’t be a stranger, we’ve missed you, and
(b) As a member of the California Bar, hell as I wish there were some sort of recall mechanism. And I’m sure my Cali-attorney in arms Dodger would join me in the effort.

@SanFranLefty: Due to new circumstances (read: new job) I can only pop in on the weekends now. But my spirit still Stinques on a daily basis.

And re: AG Moonbeam: Brown/Kucinich 2012 would be my dream ticket…a bit white and male, but I’d settle for it. And I know it’s been over between them for years but I think Linda Ronstadt would make a great First Lady. Scratch that, she’d probably make a better preznident than any of the above…


I Never Will Marry

Traditional- arranged by Linda Ronstadt
© 1977 Normal Music (BMI)

They say that love’s a gentle thing
But it’s only brought me pain
For the only man I ever loved
Has gone on the morning train

I never will marry
I’ll be no man’s wife
I expect to live single
All the days of my life

Well the train pulled out
The whistle blew
With a long and a lonesome moan
He’s gone he’s gone
Like the morning dew
And left me all alone

I never will marry
I’ll be no man’s wife
I expect to live single
All the days of my life

Well there’s many a change in the winter wind
And a change in the cloud’s design
There’s many a change in a young man’s heart
But never a change in mine

I never will marry
I’ll be no man’s wife
I expect to live single
All the days of my life

@SanFranLefty: Can’t we start a drive in CA to put a proposition on the ballot criminalizing adultery and banning divorce?

And I truly think that the pride parade in NYC should cancel itself this year. Let us have a pride-free year and let the city see how much revenue it loses.

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