Barry, Please, for Just a Little While, A Break?

President-Elect Barry, along with David Plouffe, whose name always makes me think that he should be a dessert filling, residing between two delicious pieces of angel food cake, won’t leave me alone.  I realize there’s this whole, “We got him elected, now the hard part starts. . .”  esprit, which is a good thing.  However, I will not give Barry any more of my money, at least for a little while.  Today’s offering is a coffee cup, which is Black, like coffee, like half of Barack Obama, and like Regis Philbin’s heart (trust me).  Purportedly, this money is for the DNC, so it can elect more black socialists two years from now.  But I think it’s for some inaugural ball Cristal, which is a drink that stereotypical rich black people drink (stereotypical normal black people drink Colt 45).  Anyway, please, Barry, can you refrain from asking me to give you $15 dollars for this admittedly classy coffee mug?  Just allow me to enjoy the decrepit American economy in peace, for a little while. []


Well played. I just got notice that my “free victory sticker” is held up with the millions of other requesters and oh by the way would I like a Hope ™ calendar for only $35 more?

I’m far more tolerant than four years ago – when I would write back to that John Kerry bot shilling for failed campaign dollars to tell him fuck you very much – but really, give us a break.

ADD: The coffee mug is kinda nifty. (slinks away…)

Why didn’t I get the mug offer? All they’re pitching my way is the “limited edition four-year calendar featuring some of the best images from the campaign trail.” You’ll pardon me if I don’t want to see Plugz on my birthday. Or any other day.

@nojo: Dunno – I got it. I started trashing Plouffe’s emails long ago.

I was offered the official Hope ™ fleece jacket in my message today, for only $50. I love fleece but it looked pretty fug in the email.

How do you pronounce “Plouffe” anyhow? He and Geoff Kors from No on 8 email me several times a day.

@blogenfreude: I set up to send him to spam in June.
Plouffe make me think of an excellent seafood restaurant in SF (Plouffe is French for the “splash” sound). Also, Marcell, cheri, the high class black drink is Cristal, not to confused with the sugary drink powder stuff.
@SanFranLefty: I heard it pronounced on election night and remembered being surprised (It wasn’t “ploof,” as I thought), but I was too drunk by then to recall how they said it.
Speaking of SF, looks like I’ll be there for the SF book fair Feb 12-15. Is that when Lyndon/Benedick’s show is on?

Wow, what an asshole. He liberates a country under fascist occupation by a psychopathic junta that has killed, maimed and dislocated millions and he’s out selling fucking coffee cups? I get one when the Amway lady comes by. He needs to raffle off chances to drive the fucking syringe through Cheney’s sternum with the money shot – the potassium chloride – after he’s convicted of course, sentenced, exhausts appeals and all that good stuff, for crimes against humanity.

“Have the satisfaction of knowing the last thing the monster will see before he goes to hell is your smiling face! Yes, you can!”

Colt 45? I just think of those commercials with the nice white guy in a suit drinking Colt 45, so blitzed he doesn’t notice the shark/bomb/trainwreck, etc. occurring next to him. And that catchy whistled jingle. My favorite booze commercials ever. I thought Olde English was the black thing?

@Promnight: In the beer industry, they refer to Colt as “LPR” – Liquid Panty Remover. My college marketing prof had been an exec at Budweiser.

@Mistress Cynica: Really? Damn. I wish I knew that back when.

@Promnight: You know, the only thing I miss about being young and single is that experience of The First Panty Removal. By the age of 25 or so, you knew that tongue was pretty much it, if you sucked face, pretty much you were sure to be sucking everything soon. But when you were younger, there was still always a good chance it could be called to a screeching halt at any time. A better than good chance. You could both have your hands down inside the other’s pants, and it could still be called off, and I was a respectful boy, no means no. But I noticed that as I approached thirty, that the threshold got crossed earlier. Sucking face was almost always the point you knew. Any crotch grabbing, even above the clothing, and it was on. But when we were young, it could end any time. The moment when it became clear that what you were hoping was happening was actually happening was the moment of the panty removal. It was the moment of truth. If you tugged on the panties, and the but pressed down, oops, oh no. But if you gave that light, polite, gentle tug, and she just slightly lifted up her butt to let them slide off, that was the moment of joy. Oh, those moments. Never again. Oh well.

Thats what that phrase “liquid panty remover” immediately brought back to me, that time when panty removal was so critical, so amazing, always greeted with surprise, like a miracle had occurred.


You got offered a jacket? Damn, Barry is fickle…you know what kinda money I sent him?!!?!! Yeesh…

@SanFranLefty: I’m also getting tired of seeing Solomonese (sp?) from HRC as well. (HRC as in the yellow equals sign on a blue square so that you don’t have some faggy rainbow on your car, not Hillbot 9000.)

Seriously, though, the Obamaplex people really need to watch it. If you keep begging for change after an epic win, you may wind up disbanding your Army of Hope (TM) and Glory for 2012 after they get tired of you trying to sell official Obama legwarmers, hobo harmonicas or cardboard houses.


You got offered a cardboard house?


@Tommmcatt Yet Again: They also threw in red, white, and blue crayons to draw doors and a smokestack for no additional charge.

Hell with the coffee cup. Cabela’s sent me a deal for $20 off a hundred dollar order.

@rptrcub: I just sprayed wine on my Mac at “official Obama legwarmers” – well done, grasshopper.

@Mistress Cynica: Excellent! I will be here and Lux was at that fair last year too. I think that’s about when Benedick is in town. Okay, west coast Stinquers, look for cheap Alaska or Southwest or Virgin America airfare to SF for 2/12-14!!

This is getting stranger: “Hit and run Suspect May Have Messaged News Anchor”

“When Carlos Fierro was pulled over on suspicion of drunken driving in April 1997, he put a penny in his mouth before the officer administered a Breathalyzer test, a police report shows.”


“Santa Fe police said they are trying to obtain information from a television anchorwoman who either received communication from Fierro just after the crash, communicated with him at that time or both, Wheeler said. Detectives have known since the day of the crash about possible communications between Fierro and Marla Tellez, a news anchor at KOB-TV, he said.

“Erika Poindexter, Tellez’s attorney, said Wednesday that her client was not involved in the crash or at the scene. She said Tellez arrived at the station in Albuquerque for work not long after the crash occurred and couldn’t have had any role in it. “

@SanFranLefty: Damn that is tempting. I just found a hella cheap flight out that weekend. Do you know of a free/cheap place to stay? My SF friend are all back in the Midwest now…

@homofascist: My favorite cheap place to stay in SF is the Grant Plaza, on Grant Ave just inside the Chinatown gate. Very basic but nice, and conveniently located. Always see more Europeans there than Americans. I think we’re going to be at the Cow Hollow Motor Inn, which is pretty reasonable, because my boss is driving down and it has free parking.

@homofascist: Check out the Hotel Astoria at the edge of Chinatown. Safe and clean, for the location, all but free.

@SanFranLefty: Doesn’t it rhyme with poof?

I got the fleece offer but was not offered a mug. And I need a mug. However, back before we had change, when all we had was hope, I did get a team Obama t-shirt in a tasteful dark blue with red and white accents. When I unpacked it I was thrilled to find that it was made from 100% organic cotton using dyes made from fetus blood.

@Mistress Cynica: We start previews on the 13th. Open on the 18th. It’s all extremely fancy. Will send you details if you like.

@homofascist: If you want to go super cheap, there’s a youth hostel near Fort Mason. I think rptrcub stayed there on his trip out here. There are a series of old-school motels in Cow Hollow near the Presidio where Cynica is staying.
There’s a Euro-style hotel near Chinatown called Baldwin Hotel on Grant Ave and Sutter Street. Not sure how much it is. Hotel Triton and Hotel des Artes are nearby but I think they’re spendier.

@Benedick: Oh, please do send info. cynica77 at gmail.
@SanFranLefty: Yeah, Triton and des Artes are pricier. The latter used to be a fabulously cheap Euro-style hotel where you could stay really cheap if you didn’t have a private bath. Then they gentrified it, dammit.

@Mistress Cynica: @Promnight: And you have both just revealed the truth, which is that I know so little about black people, I am incapable of even stereotyping them correctly.

Because I’m colorblind, or some shit.

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