Joe the Remaindered

Title: Things Forgotten

Author: Thomas N. Tabback

Rank: 825,092

Blurb: “After a traumatic experience, Bronx Police Officer Paul Kelly awakens in a hospital with no memory. His life and loved ones are all lost to him, but a specter from the past awakens him to an identity more than 3200 years ago. In a time when the heavens still touched the earth and man witnessed the might of God with plain eyes, there lived Nahar, son of Nahath, son of Reuel. Through Nahar’s eyes, Paul is about to recall events that would forever change the world, for he dwelt in the Jordan Valley of Canaan, as a chosen people prepared to cross the river into their Promised Land.”

Review: “I found Things Forgotten an engrossing read. It combines a great story, fast paced action and historical context from ancient Canaan — I didn’t realize how much I learned until I got to the Glossary! All the elements of a great novel. I highly recommend it.”

Footnote: First-time author Tabback is about to become a first-time ghostwriter, probably copying reams of Wikipedia pages at this moment to meet a December 1 publication date for Samuel Wurzelbacher’s “book”, Joe the Plumber: Fighting for the American Dream. “I won’t cash in,” says Mr. Plumber, “and when people do read the book they will figure out that I didn’t cash in. At least I hope they figure that out.”

Good for Joe. Although considering the rumored $7 milliion advance being dangled before Sarah Palin, Joe will forgive us for thinking there’s a fine line between integrity and stupidity.

‘Joe the Plumber’ lands book deal [BBC]

Things Forgotten [Amazon]

Buy or Die [Stinque@Amazon kickback link]


How will we know when we read it that he didn’t cash in? Because it’s ghostwritten so badly?

/ghostwriter snark

@RomeGirl: When he doesn’t complain about Obama’s tax cuts?

Yeah, I saw this on the Joe the Plumber site and wondered if he was going to do up a Jesus-crazed tome to sell to the base of snakehandlers who still can’t get over the fact that the Prophet Sarah lost. Joe raging against elitism (attending school after 8th grade; using utensils to eat, etc.). Joe overwhelmed by methane fumes during a stand pipe job and Jesus appearing to him and telling him Obama is an Islamofascist Marxist. Joe clearing a toilet in an old age home and feeling something pulling on the other end; Jesus, is that you? Pull twice if it is. Yank-yank. Joe pulling a diaper out of a pipe and, there, in shit-stained glory, the face of Jesus smiling at him. Basically, a miraculous event every 5-7 pages to keep the snakehandlers entertained.

This failed author has just banged his head into wall.


Now the failed author has a burning desire to beat the shit out of the 40 or so publishers who rejected his awful piece of shit novel for these awful screeds of justification for failure by semi-literate baboons.

As for the above book. All I can say is that I’m still amazed that the first comments praising this “book” did not start with “I dan’t red mane boocs, but I red dis une…”

A friend of mine tried to get me to read Dan Brown’s Da Vinky Code. I have not gotten past page 10.

Oddly enough, I don’t consider myself a literary snob (I have a few Ludlums, Clancys, and Flemings plus a large amount of SF sitting on my shelves and and the only things closest to literature are Huxley, Lord of the Flies, a couple of Maughams, Big Pappy Hemingways, several Steinbecks and LeCarres. ) but it really hurt to read that book.

It really did piss me off. I’m not much better than they are, but I’d like to think my plots make sense in the real world. Just the rants of a failed paperback writer.

@ManchuCandidate: This is going to wind up being one of those self-published pieces of shit which get sent to newsrooms of the evil liberal media elite, and wind up in the piles of crap that the features reporter gives away so that it’s not clogging his or her desk.

Yeah, well, some of us aspire to be failed authors. Got three chapters done in a week, and have not finished chapter 4 in the next six months. I struggle with that whole “discipline” thing.

Have you considered podcasting your work? You probably have heard about this guy. Serialized his first work as a free podcast on his blog, got a following, and since then has three book deals. He still gives his books away as free podcasts before publishing.

@ManchuCandidate: I read the Da Vinci code on a transatlantic flight where I was stuck with nothing else to read. He lost me about 5 pages in when it became clear that he’d never even looked at a map of Paris since he had no idea where the Ritz was. Hate that man.

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