We’re Doomed


If you thought Tuesday was our chance to put Bush and Cheney in the rear-view mirror, think again. We still have to deal with them at family reunions.


Thank you. Thank you very much. Just when hubby talks me out of taking like 15 Ambien so I can sleep till Tuesday you have to post this. I just hope you’re happy. You made my dogs cry.

Let’s stay positive. We’ll need the energy to vote early and often on Tuesday.

Speaking of rear-view mirrors, Hopey has a pretty funny ad running here that shows Bush in the mirror everytime McCain checks it. OTH,they’re running the eery “troubled waters” ad here as well, with the voiceless “Obama. Untested.” tagline.

I remain deeply worried. Geezer is drumming the patriotism beat now, with frequent references to his and Talibunny’s military kids. That could be very effective in PA and OH.

@nabisco: Thank you for that. I was about to go out into the garden. Now it’s back to the cellar.

I want my Hope!

@Dodgerblue: I can only assume there is no early voting for you. I don’t want to get anywhere close to a voting booth on Tuesday. Our county clerk told us when we voted that she was telling poll workers to expect to stay until 8 pm or later Tuesday because of the expected long lines at 6. She said everybody in line at 6 will get to vote.

The great thing about geneology is that you can find some relationship to almost anybody if you try. By the time you’re out to ninth and eleventh cousins it makes about as little sense as all the begats in Chapter 1 of the gospel of Matthew. I suspect you could find there is just as close a relationship between President Bush and Charles Manson or Jeffery Dahmer or even me as there is between the president and Dick Cheney or Princess Diana.

None of which means a damn thing except for a way to fill some time on a network “news” show. Lucky there wasn’t anything worth reporting happening in the world. It sure beats showing us the latest American troops who died for President Bush’s issues with daddy and for his fervent desire to bring Armageddon.

Has anyone seen the video at barackobama.com by Sen. Obama’s brother-in-law? This family is like the United Nations! This is going to be the greatest inauguration EVER! I can’t wait to see a first family that looks like the entire world instead of the elite old money families in England.

garbled radio message…

Checking in with a field report from deepest, reddest, darkest real pro-American McPain-Failin state: Arkansas.

Lawn signs are 50/50 McCain/Obama, unlike Seattle’s 100% Obama.

Mr. OA’s slightly racist relatives boldly announce that they’re voting Obama, even though we’d implemented a strict Don’t Ask policy prior to the trip. My mom is a lifelong Dem, so her vote’s safe.

State’s largest newspaper endorsed McCain; doesn’t really explain why other than Obama’s got too much favorable media coverage. Op-ed pieces blame media and voters for impending Obama election. That should work out well. No concept of taking responsibility for failed policies/campaign/nation. But we already knew that.


Will file more reports from safe location if possible.

FSM be with you.

OA out.

@Dave H: Everyone I know who’s gone on ancestry.com had discovered they’re descended from Charlemagne. I did enjoy the Vlad the Impaler but, though.

@Original Andrew: FSM be with you there in dumbfuckistan. Check in regularly so we know you’re OK.

@Mistress Cynica: Funny, my Dad told me we are descended from William the Conqueror. He was probably related to Charlemagne. On my Mom’s side, we are related to Jesus.

@Dodgerblue: I’m the illegitimate son of Liberace and Doris Day.

@Lyndon LaDouche:
hehehehe….stay out of the cellar. you slay me.

which means of course, i am related to jesus too.
i got his hair.

I have a wacky cosmic-head theory. You know The Secret? Well, we all want Obama to be president, but they don’t want McCain to be president – they just don’t want Obama. So, if I’m remembering The Secret correctly, it doesn’t matter whether or not you’re wishing for or against something – the universe just hears the thing you’re wishing for.


I’m going to leave you with that as I join my friends to eat saffron-infused moules and frites at our favorite restaurant, which is closing its doors this evening.

@nabisco: Did anyone else see the Geez on SNL last night? QVC comedy gold, especially considering that he participated in a sketch where Tina Fey outright joked about selling Talibunny 2012 sweatshirts. Dottering around the stage, he seemed so incredibly pathetic in a very sad sort of way — that he knew that he was about to go down in flames, and that he might as well have a bit of fun before he went back.

Cindy McCain on SNL: fucking frightening.

@RomeGirl: “saffron-infused moules and frites” That’s right. Taunt us. Bitch.

Well I raise you fall in New England with the woods aflame and the air scented with apples.

@rptrcub: I couldn’t look. I was only watching Tina F anyhow. She’s very good and he’s… painful. An overprivileged oik who’s been told by lackeys all his life how witty and charming and totes fabtastic he is. Truth is he’s none of those things. He was born to run a Toyota dealership somewhere in Iowa. Still, reassuring to know how seriously he takes his responsibilities towards us, the American People.

@baked: I meant, of course, the love child of Liberace and Doris Day. I got HIS hair.

@rptrcub: The missus and I were struck by how very different the skin tone was on Cindy’s face compared with her hands. Review the tape, you’ll see what I mean.

Geezer was a good sport about the appearance, especially with Fey’s guerilla theater.

I must be related to Tom Brady because I have his pubes. Stuck between my teeth.

@rptrcub, @Lyndon LaDouche: My head was spinning last night, and not just from the wine, it was so funny and horrifying at the same time to watch the Geez mock himself on national television the weekend before the election. I just couldn’t quite believe what I was seeing, I’m so glad to get confirmation today that it was real, it was really real!

@rptrcub: @Pedonator: When he spoke of using the “sad grandpa” strategy, it was almost too much. I laughed, but in some ways it was like kids making fun of the “special” kid — so easy and downright mean. Of course, PG deserves it, so we’re good.
And Ben Affleck as KO, and his kitteh Miss Precious Perfect: comedy gold, and Ben’s best performance in years.

@Lyndon LaDouche: I had beef sashimi last night, small slices of from the loin side of a nice piece of marbled porterhouse steak, drizzled with a lemon-wasabi-toasted sesami oil sauce, served on leaves of endive, strewn with small chunks of Reggiano parmesan, with slivered scallions on top. Tres yummy, oh, and I had it with fall foliage.

Tonight I am trying out my new meat grinder-sausage stuffer attachments for my Kitchenaid mixer and I am gonna make spicy Tunisian lamb sausage and maybe serve with a barley-tabbouleh.

I am the son and the heir of a shyness that is criminally vulgar. Well, I wish, anyway. I come from a long line if insignificant peasants. True celtic, dark-haired, small and wiry, on the Irish side. Mom’s english ancestors, musta had some Viking, some Angles in there, brought the blond and the tall. From her dialect, I have determined she is from Lincoln. I am sure I am wrong.

@Mistress Cynica: Ben Affleck as KO gave me needs. @nabisco: She was quite orange indeed. @Pedonator: Electoral vote has AZ as only “barely Republican” right now. It makes Sad Grandpa even sadder. Still, I want PG nowhere near the nukes.

I must be a tough crowd. The opening didn’t really impress me, the KO bit missed the target by a mile, and even the Mavericky news felt flat.

But I did like the leather-winged giraffes.

@nojo: GIRAFFES! GIRAFFES! I didn’t like the Keith O bit too much, but I did like Weekend Update.

@Lyndon LaDouche: Fall in New England grrrrrrr… that means I’m at my grandparents’ house, eating pasta and roasted chicken and Boston creme pie. YOU WIN.

@RomeGirl: Darling. The maples are gold and crimson. The air is like wine. The bald eagle mother and her eaglets have been seen cruising around the reservoir. The Peace Pole has been erected on the village green. All’s right with the world.


I’m keen to hear how – or if – Keef addresses SNL on Monday. Affleck was good.

Anyone catch Barry jammin on Cheney just now? It started to rain and he said “see what happens when you talk about Dick Cheney”?

@nabisco: I just finally caught up with my Daily Shows from this week, and when the Unicorn answered Jon’s question “Aren’t you afraid your white half will rise up and vote against your black half,” I almost fell over laughing at the question and Obama’s response.

And Samantha Bee’s monologue on John McCain’s “air quotes” about women’s health made me put her slightly above Rachel Maddow on my imaginary girlfriend list.

I’ll be out of pocket election day – handing out No on 8 materials in the East Bay in the morning, and starting drinking at 1 pm Pacific.

@SanFranLefty: Bring your cameraphone. I want field reports.

@nojo: Will do. I just hope it stops raining by Tuesday. Mr. SFL made an Election Day playlist for the iTunes for the party we’re going to Tuesday night. Steve Earle’s “The Revolution Starts Now” is at the top of the playlist. I added the Dixie Chicks singing “Landslide” in a moment of hopiness.

@SanFranLefty: I added the Dixie Chicks singing “Landslide” in a moment of hopiness.

No! No! Turn around twice and spit into the wind…superstitious, so superstitious!!

@SanFranLefty: @nabisco: You can’t has iHope (TM) without Petula Clark’s Sign of the Times. Or some of the silly stoner-ness of certain Dandy Warhols cuts.

@SanFranLefty: For me its “All You Fascists” by Billy Bragg, over and over and over.

Did you see the opening bit on the Simpsons? They redeemed 8 years of meh.

@Dave H: My hands are already full dealing with the family I know I have — no need to pile on top of that.

@Mistress Cynica: Toussaint – good suggestion!
@Promnight: Honey, I’m three hours behind you so Simpsons starts in 49 minutes. Though I’m getting sad watching King of the Hill to learn that the show is being taken off the air. I get homesick for Texas watching KOTH.

I absolutely adore KOTH. My insane hope is that it can make progressives understand rural america, and that foreign country, Texas. I love Hank. I love Bobby. I love them all. Its a work of art. The All In The Family of our time.

How many of us grew up with Meathead and Archie? My Dad WAS Archie.

@rptrcub: In another spurt of Unicorn hopiness, I added ABBA’s “The Winner Takes it All” to the iHope Tunez playlist.

If I get my shit together, I will compile a list of the iHope election tunes (if I can just click and copy them and not manually type them in).

@Promnight: Hank is my dad, minus the beard. And my dad was born and raised in LA (San Fernando Valley to be exact), which makes it all the funnier that in the past 40 years he has morphed into a bearded Hank Hill thanks to the Vietnam War drafting him out to Texas (all in all, I suppose south Texas is better than Ho Chi Minh City in 1968 – close, but better).

@SanFranLefty,prommie: One of Mrs RML’s college newspaper writers voices a character on King of the Hill, Johnny Hardwick, I think. I went to law school with Mike Judge’s sister.

ADD: “I Can See Clearly Now”, by Johnny Nash, etc. to the playlist.

@redmanlaw: @SanFranLefty: @Promnight: Don’t forget the end-all and be-all of all Democratic victory songs: Happy Days Are Here Again.

@rptrcub: And for the Republicans, to show that we care, Lou Reed’s “Sex With Your Parents.”

Add a Comment
Please log in to post a comment