Joe the Candidate

Was he in Florida? Thats the Special Republican Message To The Jews of Florida, McCain and Palin just randomly start inserting it into their sentences whenever someone tells them they are in Florida, the old “I am soooo the best friend of Israel, I will give Israel back rubs and a discrete handjob now and then when elected, but that crazy muslim coon, oh woe betide Israel if he is elected, you know how those muslim schwartzes are, he’ll sell Irael out to hius muslim brothers.” They think this magical incantation will ensure them Florida’s electoral votes, that and then going to Miami and restating their perpetual hatred of Fidel and support for the endless embargo.

Pending the requisite name change to “J.T. Plumber,” of course. No one ever made it to the White House with “the” for a middle name.

p.s. That clipart is utterly terrifying. Kind of like the idea of this jackanape ever running for high office.

Shit I was working this up from another angle. I’ll refocus. If McCain allowed this, he deserves anything he gets. First, there is the ‘Is Palin Nailin’ Joe the Plumber?’ angle. Then there is the potential for him to get shitfaced while he is on the Palin campaign and start being quoted as an ‘Official McCain Spokesplumber’ while shouting racial epithets and affirmations that the assembled reporters should gobble his schlong.

@mellbell: “Jackanape”! I heart you…

@FlyingChainSaw: With apologies to RML, she’s totally off the rez now and you’re right, Geezer deserves everything that’s coming to him.

@mellbell: I love the graphic, and it’s nice to see Marcel back from his secret gig as Daniel Craig stand-in.

If there was ever an indication that our civilization is in rapid decline, this is it.

Wonder if they’ll take him to Bergdorf’s for some new clothes …

@FlyingChainSaw: Layin pipe. Just sayin.

@nabisco: Anyone else see Sherman Alexie on Colbert last night?

“What an angry, angry young man.” Krusty the Clown on Sideshow Raheem.

@mellbell: Like Nabisco, I loved your describing JTP as a “jackanape.” Please, everybody, be gentle with me for pointing out that it’s “jackanapes.” I just checked with two different dictionaries, pretty interesting why it ends with an “s.” Each dictionary gave a different account of how a derisive term, “Jack Napis,” came to be used to describe someone insufferable.
@nojo: How dare you frighten me further with talk of MP having a secret gig as Daniel Craig stand-in? First, I was shocked that LLD’s real identity would be revealed on line, then other people, including LLD, weighed in with other purported real identities for LLD. Now this! Shouldn’t we all have an implicit (or complicit) pact to zealously protect the identities of anyone who does not use his or her real name as user name? [I’m joking, mostly, well, sort of.] So as to guard against prying, goggling Googlers.

@blogenfreude: This leads us back to an update on the Ark… which we may need to redesignate now as the SSS Molly Ivins instead of CPSS.

@lynnlightfoot: Everyone knows LLD is the Green Lantern. Still, with Hal Jordan setting the benchmark, it will be a tough gig. Our best to LLD/GL in his current struggles with the Sinestro Corps.

@redmanlaw: I’m on the one day tape delay. Last night we watched the sublime performance of Yo Yo Ma and friends and what sounded like a fierce Appalachian hollerstomp.

I’ve now had breakfast, elevenses, lunch, and tea. Thank God I work or I would start the wine at lunch and the Whisky at 4. I am gonna start smoking cigarettes again if this doesn’t end soon. I just hope I don’t start with the compulsive masturbation again, thats embarrassing.

I can’t take it much longer.

@lynnlightfoot:

20 year old kids have pictures of themselves pantsless with their legs in the air on their FaceSpace pages, so I’d say revealing our identities is probs pretty low in regards to shock value.

That said, I still think we should have some kind of alert system in place should one of us be “disappeared” by the Real Pro-Americans. Like an out-of-office e-mail or some such. Anyone seen RagingMonk? I miss him.

@redmanlaw: I’ve heard of Alexie for years (lit acquaintance is a fan), but last night’s show was my first exposure to the Paul Lynde of the Skins. You could see Colbert brighten up as Alexie kept raising the bid on Worst Injun Stereotype You Can Say on TV.

@redmanlaw:

I just read Alexie’s The Absolutely True Diary of a Part-Time Indian last week. He has a very quirky sense of humor, but there’s this one part of the book that had me sobbing like a little boy. Alexie: 1.

P.S. I’m also reading It Can’t Happen Here so I can be ready just in case we get a McPain/Failin admin.

11
“When two men are fighting and the wife of one intervenes to save her husband from the blows of his opponent, if she stretches out her hand and seizes the latter by his private parts,
12
you shall chop off her hand without pity.

Paul Lynde? I nominate Mo Rocca as the new Paul Lynde.

/threadjack/

For SFL (and any others among you who count yourself so lucky as to have ever called our nation’s capital home): Predictable, but fabulous.

@Original Andrew: The Handmaid’s Tale is also a good one. I loves me some Margaret Atwood.

@nojo: My favorite part was “thanks for the smallpox” and “we want the blankets back – dry cleaned” exchange. Otherwise, I’m not a fan of Alexie’s.

@redmanlaw: Yes! He rendered Stephen speechless. It was awesome.