Nut Of The Week Nominee
Blogenfreude said yesterday that he doesn’t have the stomach for Free Republic. (Manchu said so too, as did everyone with a brain.) There’s a reason for this, per a posting on the “Obama’s Grandma Isn’t Really Sick” thread:
He has no birth certificate. And his grandmother will mysteriously die while he is there. You know she holds secrets that cannot be revealed……
“Here, Grandma, let me put this pillow over your head. Nice grandma”
And the whole “Andy Martin Knows Everything” train of thought(?) is present, as is the idea that he is just doing this to prevent criticism.
Oh dear. Looks like there will be another card-table with literature outside Geezer’s rallies. If you go, tell the “she’s totally faking it” crew that Chicago Bureau says (a) “hi” and (b) “fuck you.”
Wonder if memeorandum’s picked it up ….
And CB, please don’t just go wandering around greater wingnuttia without taking precautions. It’s like wandering into an anomaly on Primeval – bad things can happen.
And then they wonder why no one has any sympathy for them when they get caught:
1) Giving $20 bucks a head for head in the local bathroom
2) Tapping Toes
3) in deep Financial Ruin
4) Finding “someone else’s” viagra in their luggage after a lay-cation in the DR and getting caught with a big league drug addiction.
5) Schtupping someone who isn’t his wife and then having one’s finances disclosed in divorce court (I see you Dick Scaife.)
Pigfucker attack on “liberal media?” Check it out: http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/27294906
@ManchuCandidate: did you mean “schtupping”?
Really sad. Lots of untreated mental disorders these days.
Got my yiddish mixed up. Corrected.
@Prommie: What was her role in “W” the movie? Some wingnut could have seen her as being critical or mean to their hero in the movie.
I still want to initiate a project over in Freetard land:
1. Get a screenname there, like Palinfan or FreeordieCA.
2. Get copies of The Protocols of the Elders of Zion, Mein Kamph, and other batshit-crazy discredited right-wing drivel.
3. Respond to their posts, replacing “Jew” with “Homosexual” for example, or perhaps “Liberal”, in postings taken from above referenced batshit.
4. Post the adoring, wingnutty replies to said postings which laud me as a genius on a separate weblog, thus revealing the intellectual underpinnings of right-wing thought.
It would take some time, but it would be an epic troll.
@Prommie: Thank god her mother found her.
“That BarackHusseinOsama would take precious time off now to remind people of his Caucasian heritage is the surest sign that his campaign is. in. trouble. McCain is on his six pumping hot lead into Barack’s socialist behind, while the grassroots of Real America are energized by the vicious attacks of out of touch elites on the values and morals represented by Joe the Plumber and Sarah Palin. John McCain understands that when you’re at war, you’re separated from your family – you don’t get to run home to mommy when things get tough. John McCain will launch into the wind at dawn and strike hard at the heart of Obamastan this week and turn.this.thing. around. Next week the polls will be completely different and the pundits, the mainstream media, and the turncoats like Colin Powell will be begging for a seat on the Straight Talk Express, next stop 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue.”
[TJ] Palin on the Vice Presidency:
Q: Brandon Garcia (third-grader in Colo.) wants to know, “What does the Vice President do?”
PALIN: That’s something that Piper would ask me! …. They’re in charge of the U.S. Senate so if they want to they can really get in there with the senators and make a lot of good policy changes that will make life better for Brandon and his family and his classroom.
You know, she was so close to being right this time. She was really trying. But, no. Perhaps you might want to call Dick Cheney on this one — apart from swearing people in at the beginning of sessions, I think he’s been there maybe… twice? [/TJ]
My wife has started to refer to the
McCain/Palin Faithful as “Plankton’s Army”.
We have an old Powerpuff Girls magazine that includes a quiz by Mojo Jojo on “How Evil Are You?”
Fuck these fucking stupid evil motherfuckers. My uncle is one of these people and if he dares say any of this stupid bullshit in front of me, I will break his only functioning leg.
@Ewalda: And if CB doesn’t mind my Graphic Intervention, your suggestion is accepted.
nojo: R.T. Firefly: “Look at Chicolini, an abject figure —”
Chico: “I abject.”
(No, of course I don’t mind graphic blandishments from any source, just so long as they come from Pro-America Americans.)
@chicago bureau: You say that now, but you have no idea what wickedness I’m capable of.
@nojo: I like your new poll for us, Nojo. Any ETA for Chainsaws’ return from revolution?
@SanFranLefty: Haven’t heard from him. I’ll send him a note if he doesn’t show up in a few more days.
@Ewalda: Please cease and desist at once with this avatar and use one of your other ones. [What if your face got frozen that way?] My favorite is the baby picture, but all the previous ones are good.
@chicago bureau: Copy Desk Query: Is it Stinquer style to say “Pro-U.S. America Americans” or “Pro-American Americans” or “Pro-American U.S. Americans”? (or “Uh-Murricans” if transcribing “Hardball”).
Isn’t it “Pro-USA ‘Murrican Uh-Murricans”?
@lynnlightfoot: You dare question Ernie Kovacs?
@redmanlaw: Stinque Style is “us” and “communists”.
@SanFranLefty: Just heard from FCS. He’ll be returning from his Weeks of Living Dangerously soon as Sigourney Weaver is satisfied.
@nojo:Well, that might take a while because she’s all woman. And after he escapes from the CIA-backed military squads, verdad?
@lynnlightfoot: I’ve retired Ernie for the time being. Let’s try The-One-Whom-The-Camera-Loved instead. Hope it changes when I post this.
@Ewalda: Well, it will change eventually.
@Ewalda: Takes Gravatar a while to catch up, and then it takes your browser a while longer. Meantime, I’ll console myself with memories of sight gags.
ATTENTION CHICAGO STINQUERS:
Grant Park confirmed Election Night. Make sure your cameraphones are charged.
@nojo: I saw. The Chicago Stinque will consult, conspire, and conference. The thought of freezing my ass off with 250,000 people for untold hours while my flask gets confiscated does not rank up there on my list of favorite things to do…
@nojo: I’ve refreshed my cache and Ernie is gone.
@homofascist: The Chicago Stinque
I hear that’s what they call it in Waukegan.
@nojo: Epic fail on Geezerawatch today. Anonymous Foreign Observer ran late with county election officials, then my boss waylayed me as I tried to slip out to meet her in line. Capital police chief told me the SS was a real pain in the ass to work with (worse than Hopey or Hilz), but they admitted to him that PG’s crowds are the biggest threat to the candidate, along with worries he’ll throw a clot.
Meanwhile, Sarah Palin isn’t the only one saying bat-shit crazy things about “real Americans” and “pro-America” parts of the country.
@SanFranLefty: Besides Armageddon, are these people thirsting for civil insurrection Nov. 4-5? Will they open fire on gatherings of Unicorn supporters imbued with Hope (TM)?
“I genuinely did not recall making the statement and, after reading it, there is no doubt that it came out completely the wrong way. I actually was trying to work to keep the crowd as respectful as possible, so this is definitely not what I intended,” Hayes said in a statement for Politico.
What exactly would be the right way for a statement like that to come out, Congressmen Hayes? And how would saying that “liberals hate real Americans” keep any crowd respectful?
@rptrcub: I worry, grasshopper, about that very thing. I assume security will be insanely tight for our Chicago Stinquers in particular, but I’d hope for security at any Unicorn celebrations in the redder states. Timothy McVeigh and Eric Rudolph are clear indications about their willingness to blow up innocents…
Oh my fucking god. I just finished reading the whole thing. What a sad case for humanity. I’m going to go home now and start drinking heavily.
@Ewalda: For this relief, much thanks. [That was Ernie Kovacs? I kept looking at it, trying to determine whether it was you or someone else, but couldn’t feel certain either way. Your new one is an improvement but I still heart baby Ewalda.]
@nabisco: Ah, well. Plenty of opportunities to play with the toy later.
Speaking of which…
@homofascist: I can’t argue with comfort — I live in Sandy Eggo, after all, currently 68 at 5:30 — but there’s a strong chance you’ll be a witness to history that chilly evening. And not just any history — March on Washington history. You want to be at the center of the universe when reality shifts.
@nojo: Funny story: my aunt lived in different parts of southern California (incuding Sandy Eggo) for a coupla decades, finally retired on a librarian’s pension five years back or so and….returned to the East Coast!
She claims that you’re not really able to enjoy old age unless you can complain about the weather.
@lynnlightfoot: Oh, how the camera loved Dietrich!
Baby Ewalda will come back again, but I want to run through some of my favorite famous faces a bit.
@Ewalda: Best call of the day!
@nojo: Oh, I do, god@stinque. I saw what you did. Heh.
@nojo: I was stationed at Waukegan!
@nojo: True that.
@JNOV: I’m saving “godandman@stinque” for a joke yet to be determined.
TJ: any of you ladies trying to conceive should check out Babies for Obama. It’s a real ovulator motivator.
@nobody in particular: Should I be flattered or somewhat freaked out that in the past four days, six different people, including my best friend from childhood, have told me “Rachel Maddow totally reminds me of you, [SFL], except if you had short straight hair” or “…except if you were a lesbian.”? I am flattered, but it’s a little weird that it’s now happening with insane frequency. One person even texted me with that insight during her show last night. I swear I’m not RM, as those of you who have met me IRL can attest, though I dream of being as awesome as her.
@Mistress Cynica: I thought the kids in that HuffPo slideshow for the most part were pretty ugly. (Yes! I said it! The majority of babies are ugly.) Obama, of course, looked hawt and so paternal in most of them, and that’s what would stimulate the ovulation. The photo that Moe had on Gawker last month of the Unicorn and that kid, now that put my eggs into overdrive. Can’t find it now or else I’d link. You know which one I’m talking about.
@SanFranLefty: If he hadn’t done me a favor and croaked, I’d still be suffering Carl Sagan comparisons.
@SanFranLefty: You’re awesomer. Notice Rachel Maddow reminds them of you and not the other way around. Rachel has an uphill climb.
ADD: Jr is volunteering for Hope this weekend. Thanks, SFL.
@JNOV: Yeaaaa!! Go JNOV Jr. for the Unicorn! Does he have appropriate gear or should I FedEx you one of the “HOPE” t-shirts for sale by the semi-homeless guys on Market Street?
@everyone: Program the number for your local ACLU chapter in your phone in case you find on election day that you’ve been purged from the voter rolls. I was purged in the 80s because I didn’t have my name on my mailbox at the apt complex I lived in. Luckily some Dems took issue with the purge and contacted the purgees well in time for us to be reinstated. Well, those of us who could get a day off to go to City Hall and swear before a judge that we are who we are and we lived where we lived.
@SanFranLefty: He has some MoveOn Hopey buttons?
@nojo: Billions and billions of times, I’m sure.
@Ewalda: Got so overfocused on avatars that I forgot to say how much I love “Plankton’s Army.”
From Wikipedia: “In reality, the trophic level of some plankton is not straightforward.”
@lynnlightfoot: For anyone who needs a refresher on just how apt “Plankton’s Army” is, watch the
full episode here: http://video.aol.com/video-detail/spongebob-squarepants-planktons-army-full-length/1430452824
It’s worth watching.
NM GOP-er: “Muslims are our enemies” and Barack Obama is a “Muslim socialist”
Comments from a southern New Mexico Republican leader that “Muslims are our enemies” and that Democrat Barack Obama is a “Muslim socialist” drew criticism Tuesday from religious leaders and a national Islamic group called on the party to repudiate the statements.
Otero County Republican Women Chair Marcia Stirman made the comments in a letter published Tuesday in the Alamogordo Daily News, prompting a flood of e-mails from across the country to the southern New Mexico newspaper.
“I’m a Republican because: I believe in a sovereign God who sometimes gives us what we deserve. I believe Muslims are our enemies,” Stirman, who lives in Alamogordo, wrote in the letter to the editor.
“I agree with a two-party system, but Obama isn’t a messiah or a Democrat. He’s a Muslim socialist,” Stirman wrote.
The Albuquerque Journal
@redmanlaw: Well, at least one Republican is denouncing the Muslim smears.
@redmanlaw: Translation: I’m a Republican because I’m a vindictive, hateful bitch who likes to exploit the ignorant fears of Americans.
@rptrcub: The mask has fallen away.
@redmanlaw: Oh, we should totally do a… thing… You know. A thing. Thingy. There’s a word for it. Like a holy war. But, you know, the right-thinking, Christian version.
Ah, got it.
Time for a CRUSADE! Free the holy land from those heathens! Yeah! That sounds like a great idea!
@IanJ: “Durka Durka Mohammed Jihad!”
Opening shot of the Crusade, from my friend Helen:
The other day I went downtown to run a few errands. I went into Starbucks for some caffeine.
I was only there for about 5 minutes, and when I came out, there was this cop writing out a parking ticket.
I said to him, “Come on, man, how about giving a retired person a break?”
He ignored me and continued writing the ticket. His insensitivity annoyed me, so I called him a “Nazi.”
He glared at me and then wrote out another ticket for having worn tires.
So I proceeded to call him a “doughnut eating Gestapo.” He finished the second ticket and put it on the windshield with the first.
Then he wrote a third ticket when I called him a moron in blue.
This went on for about 20 minutes. The more I talked back to him the more tickets he wrote.
Personally, I didn’t really care. I came downtown on the bus, and the car that he was putting the tickets on had one of those bumper stickers that said; “McCain in ’08’.”
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