Casting Couch (ya!)

NSFW alert: 23-6 reports that Sarah Palin look-a-likes are being sought for opportunities in the motion picture industry.  Oh.

Craigslist.  Wondrous source of comedy you are.


The thing that disgusts me the most is who plays John McCain?

@ManchuCandidate: EW!

I think that between Sarah’s husband and the guy the Enquirer says she had an affair with, it could be a pretty good movie. Or the two guys could get into a fight over Sarah and one of them ends up on all fours. Hmmmmm…I like the sound of that even better.


Ron Jeremy in a powdered wig. I’m surprised you had to ask.

Just think of this when you’re playing my Plugz-Talibunny drinking game tomorrow. Additional suggestions welcome.

And here comes the greatest spam email subject I’ve received in awhile…

Hot girl masterbating frogs

You wanna hear my Kermit/Piggy impression? Thought not.

Scene between faux-Talibunny and faux-Cindy McCain. Bank on it.

Tommmcatt Yet Again: …wearing nothing but a hockey sweater, and says “I’ve been bad. Put me in the box.” To which Cindy McCain says….

@chicago bureau: “First you’re gonna have to go five-hole on me, Levi”

@nabisco: @chicago bureau: @Tommmcatt Yet Again:

A very special gonzo episode, coming soon to MILFHunter.

“This is the first time I ever delivered a pizza to the Naval Observatory.”

“It better have sausage, if you know what I mean.”

What’s with no bum blasting? Completely eliminates the possibility of an anal train scene with a hockey team at the new rink in Wasilla.


Which really limits this films’ chances for an Oscar nod, IMHO.

ATT: People who know about the rag trade.

Is it that I am sensitive to martial aspects of dress due to personal history, or does all the stuff Palin wears on the campaign trail look vaguely paramilitary, like stuff you’d see in a science fiction film on cable?

@FlyingChainSaw: I axed that very question to Mrs RML last night: “what’s up with the uniform jackets?” I am informed that is what Valentino tosses her way. Pehaps others can shed some light on this. There’s always “Ask Dr. Maddow.”

They all seem to borrow from a classic cadet style or officer’s evening jacket cut. I wonder if they still put celloloid film in the collars to keep them straight. . . Interesting if she is trying to beam ‘fascist’ with her attire. Who is Valentino? A designer the campaign assigned to her?

FCS, RML, I’ve had the same impression, although I hadn’t gone so far as to formulate words around it yet. She does seem to have the “high and tight” thing going on. Interpret that how you will.

@IanJ: It’s very cadet. It just struck me looking at the Anchorage paper that if she tossed on a cummerbund and a drop sash she’d be good to go on the parade ground.

Finally, a perfect vehicle for my big comeback.

@homofascist: I like where you’re going there. But is the First Dude a top or a bottom?


Nononono….Levi is the bottom. The First Dude and the Second Dude are Caboose and Engine, respectively….


This is just my unbiased opinion, of course. But c’mon, you see what I mean, right?

@Tommmcatt Yet Again: I forgot Levi. Spectator, then sandwich meat?

@FlyingChainSaw: Cindy McCain wore a, damn, is it s sign of brain damage that my bon mot is ruined by my inability to recall Spock’s race, what were they, Spock was not a Romulan, but now all I can think of is Romulans, and it definitely was not Romulan, but did Cinidy McCain not wear the same suit that Spock’s mother wore?

Homofascist, I recently read a review of a book about Amurrican young male fratboy culture which noted that if not homosexual, they are deeply homosocial, by which the author meant that they are misogynistic, really don’t seem to like women at all, really don’t even to like sex with women except as a male bonding act, they seek sex with women solely to raise their status among fellow males, and in one of the researcher’s interviews, a fratboy admitted what a turnon it was to follow his friends in a gangbang because he loved the feeling of their cum on his dick, in the girl.

Oh my God, its true, all those macho shitheads, they really are homosexuals, aren’t they? I mean, all us sensitive geeks who really loved women even if we couldn’t ever get our hands on any, we always SAID so, but you mean it was really true?

@redmanlaw: Yes, Cindy McCain wore a Vulcan Bris ceremony dress.

@Promnight: That’s been the consensus of opinion among us non-fratboys since time immemorium. Also, the male jock culture is analogous to the fratboy culture, except for the musculature difference in pecs and thighs. These groups both have no fucking clue that they are aspiring to be toxic people.
(extended rant deleted)

@Promnight: Homosocial ≠ homosexual. It’s an effect of misogynous patriarchy, not an inborn characteristic, a mutation of the Spartan and other warrior codes. At least those guys has a social outlet built in for the, uh, libidinal runoff. The double erasure of “women as people” and “homoeroticism as an option” result in the stuff you’re reading there.

Ya know, I am not kidding anymore about how bad this is going to be. I am an industry lobbyist. I work for the retail automotive trade, the auto dealers. The numbers today were horrifying, sales for september were down over 30% across the industry, imports and domestics, Toyota, down 30%, Ford, 34%, Honda, a bright star, only down 15%. The members of my trade association are going out of business, every day another one, a business employing 100 people, is going out of business, just among the members of my association. And its the small mom and pop stores getting killed off, but it will spread, and then those who make their living providing to these businesses will lose their jobs, and then I will lose my job.

The service economy is a perpetual motion machine, and its finally stopping, as all perpetual motion machines do without input from the outside, which until now has been provided by debt.

This is bad, its worse than anyone is letting on. Only the most rabid gold bugs are close about how bad it will be.

I am serious, I am serious, that we would perhaps be better off planning a subsistence commune. I mean it. This is not going to be a recession, its going to be a depression, and almost noone alive can overcome the cognitive dissonance facing that fact produces. We are truly fucked.

@Ewalda: @BRB: And “My Friends,” as John McCain is fond of saying, what particular small subculture do you think might be the very apotheosis of misogynistic, macho, suppressed homosexual, toxic male dysfunction on the planet? Combining all the worst of frat and athlete culture, combined with the most virulent of military machismo culture? I will give a two word clue: Tail Hook. Fighter pilots.

W. McCain.

I’m not surprised and I’m scared because this one is going to be ugly. I’d rather be wrong than right on this one.

I’m just waiting for the fuckers who are my big bosses to cut my ass loose (apparently the geniuzes who gave themselves a 20% raise didn’t see the credit crunch coming.)

Up here in Canada City people are smug in the fact that we’re not the US (even though 75% of our exports go to you guys.) We will follow soon after you. Even the real estate guys here are scared although they keep spouting the happy talk (morans.)

And back to porn — Promnight: did you look up Eva Angelina? She’s waaay too loud, but she wear glasses in most of her, uh, movies.

Oh, and I hate, hate HATE that gonzo shit.

@JNOV: Gonzo porn, or you mean like the muppet? Cause either way, weird.

@drinkyclown: Love the muppet and his weird attraction to chickens. Hate the porn. The wimminz are not enjoying that stuff.

@nojo: A quick google failed to confirm my worst fears of muppet slash fiction existing somewhere. Unfortunately, I found something even worse.

@Promnight: Speaking of frat boys and the military, I present to you a sober clip of Republicans and Military Men on McCain. I’m sitting at a hotel desk sobbing. Watch these clips and you will want to cry or drink. Or both.

@BRB: Curse you, internets! I find all fanfic suuuper creepy but I gotta say the stuff that isn’t slash is way worse, like if there’s no sexual gratification going on why the hell would you even write that?

@drinkyclown: It’s like reading pornography that substitutes maudlin scenes of crushing emotional distress for gratuitous sex. Almost every blurb on that page involves afflicting muppets with depression, incurable disease, or the death of a loved one.

I think fan fic is fascinating, but yes, a lot of it a) bad and b) the product of an unhealthy obsession that would be better used elsewhere.

@SanFranLefty: Why was the top related video ” Katie’s got some BIG ASS tittayyss!
03:34 From: SexyGirlsLoveRICK “?

@BRB: Hmmm… since most married men who seem to troll for dick tend that way… it does spoil many fantasies though..

Not that I’d know anything about being a homewrecker….

@rptrcub: “Homewrecker”? I prefer “catalyst.” At least that’s how I sleep at night.

(I refuse to click on any of those muppet links — there isn’t enough mind bleach to undo seeing harm come to Kermie, Animal or Sam.)

Oh, I am all for injecting (so to speak) Levi into all of this.

Also, has this thread officially qualified for ‘Stanque’ status?

@homofascist: All of our threads qualify, cuz that’s how we roll.


What the hell is Gonzo Porn? Do I really want to know?

Straight people are weird.

@Tommmcatt Yet Again: I had to wikipedia it. It basically sounds like regular porn, except with more close-ups and less plot.

@Tommmcatt Yet Again: Back in the day, there was some sort of story line to porn. Like New Wave Hookers or some such. Someone actually tried to pen a script with dialogue, and there was a least a hint of mutual enjoyment.

This gonzo bullshit is all about renting a beach house in LA and having an hours-long bang fest where the women are even more subservient to the men and objectified just short of snuff. It’s amazing that that’s even possible.

Gonzo is hardcore to the extreme — it’s just brutal fucking. And not that sometimesyoujustwannafuckhard type of sex. It’s just poundpoundpound for an eternity. With really ugly men.

Now, amateur porn is a whole nother thing. It can be funny like real sex is, and there usually is an element of caring. But maybe I’m just bitching because I’m a woman, and gonzo isn’t made for me.

ADD: And the old-school ridiculous plots and music made watching it kind of funny and enjoyable in that sense. The Black Brothers were funny dudes.


OH! Kinda like those “Treasure Island” films where they take some poor guy and and count, uh, how much effluvia he take take from various friends over one weekend.

Degrading, unsafe, and unpleasant. But my boyfriend loves it. Go figure.

@Tommmcatt Yet Again: Yeah, kind of like that. SFL and I were discussing offline my ambivalence with the sex trade. I generally support sex workers who are free to engage in SAFE business arrangements without exploitation (is that possible?), but I’m also very uneasy about the whole damned thing for reasons I can’t really put my finger on.

One of the things that really annoys me about gonzo is that it’s all about what the man wants. The woman is a prop. If the woman gets any foreplay at all, it’s for like a nanosecond, and the banging begins. And continues. And continues. Slip in some blowjobs and back to banging. I’d be like, “Hey — can you please come already? This is getting quite monotonous and boring, and I’d like to go home.” For the record, I have said something very much along those lines.

@Tommmcatt Yet Again: They sign the consent forms, still — it’s disturbing.

I have only actually watched 3 porn movies in my life, excepting the 20-second clips you can get on the internets, and it was all way back. There was The Devil in Miss Jones, which was downright pretentious, there was something where some repairmen came over, I think, but the best of all was a science fiction themed movie that was just completely precious. It was called Bimbos on the Moon or something like that, but it was actually meta, it satirized its own poor production values. The spaceship was a cardboard box, decorated with magic markers, with a porthole cut out. They’d do cutaways to a toy rocket hanging from a string with a sparkler in its tail, a la Plan 9 From Outer Space, and the actresses would break character and talk to the camera about how crappy the set is. Then they all suck and fuck.

@JNOV: Ah, yes, you are describing those instances when the man is not actually having sex with a woman, he is just using a woman’s orifice to masturbate. I think these films do much to program the machofratathlete boys into their state of belligerent sexual dysfunction.

@Tommmcatt Yet Again: It’s a bottom thing. You wouldn’t understand.


The difficulty there, is, of course, that exploitation is part and parcel of the sex industry. The “commidisation” ( is that a word?) of intimacy and pleasure is exploititive on its’ face: You are exploiting the beauty, youth, and privacy of someone when you sell it. The question really is one of moral risk and ethical danger.

Morally, should the performer (or sex worker, in the case of prostitution) be in a diminished capacity to make the choice to sell their own intimacy- be it through inxeperience, poverty, drug addiction- then the activity is flat out wrong. As much as I enjoy young men having sex on camera, I have always felt that the low age for a performer in a pornographic film should be about 25. A nineteen-year-old is simply too young to understand the ramifications of what they are doing.

Similarly, there is an ethical danger in pornography and prostitution, and that is in that all transactions, to be ethical, must be fully reciprocal and equitable. Generally for Porn performers this is not a problem- they get the going rate for being intimate with someone they might have sex with anyway (at least this is the case for gay porn, if not always for staright porn). However, in the case of most prostitiution- and some more extreme, degrading, or unsafe pornography- the transaction is inherently inequitable. There is simply not enough money in the world to make it okay to do that, or to make it okay for someone to be intimate with someone they wouldn’t be intimate with naturally. That, in my book, makes it unethical.

Did I bore you yet? This subject fascinates me….

@homofascist: @rptrcub:

HA! That’s that guy’s name. I couldn’t remember it at first.

Not that I don’t watch some sick shit- believe me, I do- but that stuff gives me the heebie-jeebies.

@Prommie: Yes. And again, I’d like to note my ambivalence about the whole thing. My experience with porn is that I used to watch it with my hands over my eyes with the occasional peek with husband #1 in the 80s, and I went 20 years without watching it again until recently (thanks, Fleshbot!).

I mean, it serves a purpose, right? And some of it I find not only amusing but titillating in a fun way. But the vast majority of it is so contrived and so debasing and so far from anything I’d ever want to participate in that I find it useless and often offensive. God forbid I’m some romantic at heart and I don’t even realize it, but there has to be more than this sometimes.

@Tommmcatt Yet Again: Baby, you will never bore me, and it fascinates me, too. It’s kind of looking into someone’s perverted soul when you find out what turns them on. And it requires a great deal of trust to tell your partner that one thing you’ve never told anyone — that thing that you’d really like to try.

I consider porn actors sex workers, and if there’s a distinction you’re making that I just don’t understand, please tell me about it. This is an interesting discussion, and even though we’re a mix of teh ghey and teh str8, I think the underlying desires at the (heh) heart of it all are the same, even if the mechanics or attractions are different.

I’m not saying that those who like gonzo are the scum of the Earth or that those who pull trains are sluts. I’m just working through my own issues of what the public consumption of sexuality means to me and why certain things make me want to go all rptrcub and throw shit at the teevee.

I dunno. I feel a little uncomfortable because I feel like I’m revealing a lot about myself in this thread, and the stuff I’m revealing I haven’t even worked out in my own head. I’m trying not to sound or be preachy while expressing that I am not at all comfortable with a lot of the stuff that occurs in this world w/r/t sex.

Is it a Puritanical hangup? I don’t know. I consider myself a sex-positive feminist, but I also know that my sexual shenanigans have put me at risk in the past.

Maybe that the thing that needs to change — maybe sex needs to be safe for everyone before everyone lets their freak flags fly. But the world isn’t safe for so many, and sometimes these images make the world even less safe. I’m so confused.


Hoom, Hoom. Porn Stars are a divison of SexWorkers™, I agree. The distinction I’m making is that I really feel that appearing in a Porn film is much less apt to be exploitative than being a prostitute, for reasons I’ve outlined above.

As for sex being safe before the freak flags fly, all I have to say is wrap that rascal and go fly a banner! Safe sex is a medical manner along the lines of brushing your teeth and buckling your seatbelt. Morality and ethics should stay out of that discussion as much as is possible.

Concerning pornography, I have no problem with an image of whatever being put out for public consumption (insert consenting adult disclaimer here). Let’s face it- fashion ads make the world a whole hell of a lot less safe for young girls and boys than, say, bondage porn, because fashion ads get them to despise and starve themselves and are everywhere. I’m just saying that I prefer to maintain a physical, moral and ethical distance from images which I consider to be the result of exploitation of the human right to self-determination. Kiddie porn fits that, obviously, but so does porn where the boys (and girls) are so obviously fucked up that they can’t tell what they are doing, or porn where someone is putting themselves in horrible risk (like the aforementioned “Dawson does Manhattan” or whatever they call it).

It confuses me too, though.

@Tommmcatt Yet Again: When I wrote “safe,” I meant safe along the lines of rape and abuse. But yes, Jimmie needs to wear a hat.

ADD: And an enthusiastic yes to the fashion ads. I still find myself stuck in that trap. Even knowing better. Yup, still stuck.

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